Day 32: Evil Bong

Evil Bong

Dave's not here, man

Let's just get this out of the way now: I am straight edge. For those of you that don't know, being straight edge means I don't smoke, drink alcohol, or do drugs. I don't care what anyone else does, its just not for me. It doesn't stop me from going to bars with friends or laughing at Cheech and Chong . And it certainly doesn't stop me from watching a movie called Evil Bong.

Evil Bong follows college nerd Alister as he moves in to a dump of an apartment with loser three stoners: rich kid Larnell, surfer-bro Bachman, and jock Brett. Larnell buys a bong advertised as being cursed in High Times magazine. After taking too many hits from the evil bong, or Eebee, Bachman passes out and his spirit is sucked into the bong. His spirit ends up in astral strip club where one of the strippers attacks him with her skull-faced bra. Seriously. Similar fates befall Larnell, Brett, Brett's girlfriend Luann, and Allister's love interest, Janet. The previous owner of Eebee, Jimbo (Tommy Chong) arrives to clue Allister in on what is happening and to try to destroy the bong. Will Allister be able to save his friends and defeat the evil bong?

That awkward moment when you're caught watching a bad movie

What can you really say about a movie based around a bong that steals souls and kills them in some sort of astral strip club? Evil Bong focuses more on comedy than horror. There are a few funny moments, but it doesn't touch Cheech and Chong's Up In Smoke or Nice Dreams. It's pretty light on the horror, but there is some goofy killing. Unfortunately, we never find out why the bong is so evil or exactly how it became evil. The acting is passable for what is required, but the Oscar's won't come knocking any time soon. There is one scene with Luann that is so baffling, I would not be surprised if she was on hallucinogenic drugs. Tommy Chong pretty much plays the same character he's been for the past 35 years, but that's fine. There are some other cameos from well known horror actors like Bill Mosely (The Devil's Rejects) and Phil Donarco (Willow, Phantasm II). There's also references to other horror movies such as Demonic Toys and The Gingerdead Man.

One problem I had with the movie was the set. The movie literally takes place on just 2 sets; the apartment and the strip club. That's it. I know movies like this have to be on a tight budget, but seriously, these people never go outside? We know Allister is a student, but he never goes to class? The other problem I had was the evasion of real-life products. When they're drinking beers, there is red tape of the can. In the background there's a bucket of KFC chicken with red tape over the “K”. I doubt KFC is going to waste the time and money to sue a low-budget horror movie and if you're so concerned about being sued, why bother having it in the first place? There's a scene where Larnell is clearing playing Super Mario World, but they put in different sound effects. Again, why bother?!

 Bongs away!

I know its silly to point out flaws in a movie called Evil Bong, but I just couldn't help myself. I knew exactly what I was getting into when I decided to watch this movie. It has it's funny moments, but it's a bit too light in actual horror. Its fun to see the cameos and pick out the references to other movies. It's really obvious that the movie had a small budget, but they could have put more effort into it. The most shocking part of all is that there are TWO sequels called Evil Bong 2: King Bong and Evil Bong 3-D: The Wrath of Bong. Were there so many unanswered questions from the first that the world demanded two more movies? Kids, say no to drugs. I'm going to go listen to Minor Threat and Throwdown.

4/10