Day 195: Friday The 13th

Friday The 13^th

It's Friday, Friday

Happy Friday the 13^th everyone! This day is considered unlucky in Western culture dating back to the 1800's. Nowadays, though, Friday the 13^th is more closely related to the unkillable murder machine, Jason. This day is sort of a holiday for horror fans with only Halloween topping it. Just today, I saw donuts with powdered sugar in the shape of Jason's iconic hockey mask. Friday the 13^th is one of the longest running slasher series. I had a wide array of movies to choose from for this special day, but I thought the only way to truly honor it would be to watch the original.

Friday The 13^th is a 1980 slasher movie starring Adrienne King (Saturday Night Fever, Friday The 13^th Part 2) as Alice. In 1958, two camp counselors at Camp Crystal Lake snuck away from their group to fool around. They are caught by an unseen assailant and murdered. Flash forward to the present day where the camp has been reopened by Steve Christy. Annie (Robbi Morgan), a new counselor hitches a ride halfway to the camp and is warmed by the driver about all the mysterious murders that have occurred at the lake over the years. She gets a ride from an unseen driver who speeds past the camp. Afraid, Annie leaps from the speeding car only to be captured by the driver and killed with a hunting knife. Back at the camp, several of the counselors (including a young Kevin Bacon, Footloose, Tremors) being refurbishing the camp while Steve heads to town. The counselors drink and do drugs and even play strip Monopoly, unaware that a killer is slowly picking off members of the group one by one in brutal and gruesome fashion. When Steve returns to the camp, he is also murdered by the unseen killer. Alice and another counselor, Bill, discover that the phone lines have been cut. Bill goes to check on the generator and when he doesn't return, Alice goes searching for him and discovers his corpse pinned to a door with arrows. Fearing for her life, Alice tries to flee and runs into a middle-aged woman, named Pamela Vorhees (Betsy Palmer, Penny Dreadful, Knots Landing). Alice tells her of the murders, but the woman interrupts her to tell the story of her son Jason Voorhees, a camper at Crystal Lake who drowned when the counselors weren't looking. Enraged, Mrs. Vorhees lunges at Alice with a knife. How will Alice be able to survive?

Go ask Alice

Friday The 13^th came about based off the success of Halloween a few years earlier. There are some similarities such as the quiet killer, scenes shot from the first person perspective, the use of knives, and the focus on teens as victims. The movie does a great job of keeping the identity of the killer a secret. The most we ever see is just a hand and some flannel clothing and the killer is only addressed in pronouns. We are never tipped off as to who the killer is and don't even know the killer's gender. When Mrs. Vorhees is finally revealed, it is extra terrifying to think that a middle-aged mother is capable of such carnage. Betsy Palmer is just great in her role and is very convincing as a deranged mother seeking vengeance for her dead son. The movie has plenty of action and loads of bloody gore, thanks to Tom Savini (Dawn Of The Dead, Creepshow). There are a few scares, but not as much as you would expect from a “classic” slasher movie. There are various kills and some good creative uses of common items. There was one scene where a snake is killed and from what I can tell, they actually did kill a snake. This bothered me and I really wish they had not killed the creature. Animals should never be hurt for entertainment purposes. To make things worse, it's not like it added anything to the movie and could have easily been implied. I'm not going all PETA on the movie, I just feel it was cruel and unfortunate.

Where the movie succeeds in classic horror mayhem and violence, it fails in storytelling. The pace is dreadfully slow at times and is only tolerable thanks to killings sprinkled throughout the hour and a half. The movie doesn't give much motivation to the characters other than “be teenagers”. There is little in the way of character development which is painfully clear when only Alice is left. All she does is scream. And scream. The audience is not cheering for her to survive because we know very little about her. She's just one of the counselors and has no unique connection with the viewers. There is not much story to go on other than “people are killed” and not enough time is given to explaining Jason and Mrs. Vorhees' motivation. The ending is a pretty good twist, but could have and should have been far better.

I've seen that look at many Black Friday events

Friday The 13^th spawned many sequels, a crossover with Freddy Krueger from A Nightmare On Elm Street and a remake (which I completely forgot existed). It also inspired countless other slasher movies and video games, some good and plenty bad. The killings throughout the movie are fun and bloody with a good amount of creativity thrown in to the mix. The movie does a good job of hiding the killer and Betsy Palmer is great as the deranged Mrs. Vorhees. The story lacks a lot of depth and there is little in the way of character development. There are some scares, but not as many as you might expect. Friday The 13^th is still an important movie in the horror and slasher genres and is a fun, if not a sometimes boring, watch.

6/10

Day 162: Hatchet

Hatchet

Can I axe you a question?

Slasher movies are the go-to genre for fast and easy horror. The stories aren't complicated, they easy and cheap to make, and they give you an excuse to watch horrible acts of violence. They're loaded with blood and creative ways of killing people. Slashers bring out the sickest in all of us. They had their heydays in the 70's and 80's, breeding countless sequels, holiday-based horror movies, and mediocre ripoffs. The slasher has become watered down with the increase in the popularity of horror movies so now is better than ever for the genre to make a comeback.

Hatchet is a 2006 slasher starring Joel Moore (Dodgeball, Bones) as Ben and Kane Hodder (Friday the 13^th, Hack!) as Victor Crowley. Ben is in New Orleans for Mardi Gras with his friends, but is bored with the partying. He is joined by his friend Marcus (Deon Richmond, Scream 3, Not Another Teen Movie) on his search for a ghost tour in the swamps of the city. The join a boat tour led by the over-the-top Shawn (Parry Shen, The New Guy, The Poseidon Adventure) joined by a Midwestern couple named Jim (Richard Riehle, Office Space, Joe Dirt) and shannon, two ditzy softcore porn actresses, their sleazy “director”, and a mysterious woman named Marybeth (Tamara Feldman, Gossip Girl, Rez Bomb). It becomes apparent that Shawn has no idea what he is doing and the boat gets stuck. Jim is badly bitten in the leg by an alligator. They make it to land and try to walk for help, but are badly lost. Marybeth reveals that she has a gun and joined the tour in order to find her father (Robert Englund) and her brother who went missing in the swamp two days ago. She talks about the legend of Victor Crowley, a deformed boy from the swamp. Local children set his house on fire and his father (also Kane Hodder) tried to rescue his son by chopping at the door with a hatchet, accidentally hitting Victor in the face with it, killing him. Legend has it that Victor or his spirit roams the swamp looking for vengeance. As the group wonders the swamp, they come across Victor's old house. That's when the killing begins as a full-grown Victor terrorizes the group in various brutal ways. The group is soon whittled down to just Ben, Marcus, and MaryBeth. Will they be able to stop this killing machine and make it back to the city?

Ahh! Rush Limbaugh naked!

The movie bills itself as “Old School American Horror.” Maybe the movie does in spirit, but the execution is a bit questionable. The story definitely fits within the realm of old slasher films: Get a bunch of people into an isolated area and have them killed of in various ways by a killer that possibly has super natural powers. I can't help but compare Hatchet to Friday the 13^th. Victor Crowley is very similar to Jason Vorhees. He's a big, deformed monster that was harassed as a child, killed in an accident, and seemingly cannot be killed. It also helps that Kane Hodder, who has played Jason in multiple movies, also plays Victor Crowley. We don't meet Victor until about 45 minutes into the movie, which was a bit of a disappointment.

Despite not being terribly original, the movie goes more for extreme violence than plot or story. There is plenty of blood and lots of gore in Hatchet. There are some good, creative deaths that keep things interesting when the story isn't. The movie is very dim and makes a few scenes difficult to see. There is also a bit of nudity, practically a requirement when it comes to slasher films. There is also a good amount of humor in the movie. When I say the movie has humor, I don't mean like fratboy dick and fart jokes or black humor, I mean legitimately funny writing and acting. Parry Shen is particularly funny, intentionally switching from a Cajun accent, to a stereotypical Asian accent, to an American one. The rest of the cast also put in a good performances that help carry the movie. There are also a number of small appearances by horror royalty such as Robert Englund and Tony Todd. They were nice touches and both roles were funny. 

Who wants cherry slushies?

Hatchet is a fun, over-the-top slasher that is aware of itself and doesn't care. There is enough violence and blood to keep horror fans smiling and a good amount of humor that was actually funny. The story is nothing special and didn't really get started until late in the movie. I would have liked more on-screen time with Victor Crowley to really build up who or what he is. The performances are good all around and director Adam Green gets some nice violent shots. While I can't say if Hatchet will be the start of a new slasher franchise, it's an entertaining, if simple, watch.

7/10

Day 101: Friday The 13th Part 2

Friday the 13^th Part 2

But the creativity doesn't

The term “Cult Classic” gets thrown around a lot when talking about horror movies from the 80's. Sometimes the name is perfect for a movie that was underappreciated when it first came out, but through word of mouth and video tapes (now DVDs and Blu Rays), it has gained a faithful and loving based. Evil Dead is a good example. Unfortunately, almost every horror movie from that era gets slapped with a “cult classic” status no matter how shitty it really is. Throw in one of the most famous slashers in horror movie history and you have a recipe for disappointment.

Friday the 13^th Part 2 starts off with Alice Hardy, the only survivor of the Crystal Lake murders of Pamela Voorhees. Despite seeing her pulled underwater by Jason in the first movie, it is revealed that that never happened and no boy was found in the lake. Alice, though traumatized by the experience, decides to live by herself to deal with her issues. It's an unfortunate choice because Jason kills her with an ice pick. Five years later, a group of teenagers come to Crystal Lake to reopen the camp. There really isn't much more story to tell unfortunately. In typical 80's slasher fashion, the teens all have sex and are then brutally murdered by Jason. Seriously, that's all there really is to this movie. Most of the characters names are inconsequential and have no real connection to the first movie. We see that Jason carries around the head of his dead mother, and one of the surviving teens, Ginny, is briefly able to convince Jason that she is his mother. Unfortunately it doesn't last too long. Will Ginny be able to stop Jason and make it out of Crystal Lake alive?

The forgotten California Raisin

As you can tell from my half-assed description of this movie, there really wasn't much of a story. What should have been a story about Alice Hardy battling it out with Jason became just a rehash of the first movie with a different villain. Apparently, Adrienne King, who played Alice, was unhappy being bothered by rabid Friday the 13^th fans and wanted her involvement to be as minimal as possible. That's unfortunate because it actually would have been nice to have a stronger connection to the first movie. Beyond the sex and killing, there really isn't much to Part 2. It came out in 1981 and hasn't aged very well with all the slashers and horror movies that have come out since.

My biggest problem (other than being bored out of my mind) was Jason himself. When you think of Jason Voorhees, you think of a giant guy with a hockey mask and some sort of jumpsuit. Part 2 didn't use the hockey mask and instead had Jason wear what looks like a potato sack with one hole cut out to see. I guess they were going for a Michael Myers style blank mask where you could mentally project whatever image you wanted onto his face. Unfortunately it just made me think of Oogie Boogie from A Nightmare Before Christmas. He's also wearing flannel and overalls, which actually makes sense when you think about it, but makes less sense when you think about it even more. How did Jason find clothes, let alone find clothes that fit him? He's supposed to be a killing machine so when did he have time to find appropriate outdoorsman clothes? Did he murder his way through a Dick's Sporting Goods? Regardless, the killing throughout is good, but certainly not great. 

He looks like he's about to shuck some corn to death

Friday the 13^th Part 2 had a lot of potential for a fun slasher movie, but settled for scare-by-numbers. There is almost no story and no emotional connection is made with the audience to have you care about the characters. There are a few decent scenes and you can see a glimmer of good ideas here and there, but it's just not enough. We all know and love Jason, but dubbing this cult classic is just wrong. It's important because it introduces us to Jason, but its just not a good movie.

3/10

Day 13: Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday

Contains trace amounts of Jason and Hell

Happy Friday the 13^th everyone. What better way to celebrate than to watch a movie starring our favorite killing machine, Jason? At least that's what I thought until I watched Jason Goes To Hell. I must've broken a mirror while walking under a ladder made of black cats because this was a big mistake.

Jason Goes To Hell starts with an FBI sting operation to kill Jason. They don't just kill him, the blow him up into little pieces. Of course, even that won't stop Jason and his essence or aura or whatever you want to call it travels from person to person, leaving a bloody swath across the country, heading towards Crystal Lake. Bounty hunter Creighton Duke knows how to dispatch Jason for good; Jason can only be killed by another Vorhees. It just so has it that the surviving Vorhees, Diana, Jessica and her baby are conveniently still in Crystal Lake. You'd think with a name like Vorhees you'd want to get as far away from the site of gruesome mass murders or at least change your name, but no. That would make sense. Ultraviolent murders ensue and it's up to Jessica to kill Jason and finally send him to hell.

No comment needed

Jason Goes To Hell is the 9^th film in the series, following the disastrous Jason Takes Manhattan. It's labeled as The Final Friday, but we all know that's not true. Kane Hodder returns as Jason, but it doesn't matter all that much because Jason is barely in this movie. He's shows up in the beginning and about 15 minutes before the end. In between, Jason's spirit possesses other people. I watched this movie because I want to see Jason murder the shit out of people, not a assortment of random people. Where's the fun in that? All of this makes me feel like the story was written to be a separate movie and they just slapped Jason and Crystal Lake on top of it and called it a day.

One of the biggest problems with Jason Goes To Hell is that the average movie viewer will have no idea what's going on. Usually sequels take a few minutes to catch you up to speed and reintroduce characters. Not this one. We are never given a good explanation to who these people are and why should we care about them. It doesn't help that some of the acting is weak. The movie does have a solid amount of gruesome and creative kills. Good detail is given to the gory makeup and blood. Cannibal Corpse would be proud to display some of these scenes on their album covers. There are a few references to Evil Dead and A Nightmare On Elm Street which should make horror fans smile.

Slipknot has seen better days

When you watch a Friday the 13^th movie, you expect to see an unkillable murder machine in a hockey mask tearing through sexy teenagers. Jason Goes To Hell gips you out of seeing the main character for almost the entire movie. That's like watching Predator and having him show up with 5 minutes to go. Good kills and plenty of gore are not enough to cover up the poor acting and messy story. There are worse in the Friday the 13^th series, but there are much, much better.

3.5/10