Day 346: Dracula: Dead And Loving It

Dracula: Dead And Loving It

His cape is bigger on the inside

I love to laugh and make people laugh. Nothing makes me happier than having a room full of people laugh at a smart, thoughtful, well-timed joke. Some of my favorite funny people include George Carlin, Lewis Black, Patton Oswalt, Demetri Martin, and good friend/former roommate Drew Mayer (follow him at @mayercomedy). My all-time most favorite funnyman, though, has to be Mel Brooks. He always manages to make me laugh, even if it's with a funny look or a goofy voice. His movies have greatly influenced my own sense of humor throughout the years. His combination for smart jokes, slapstick, and visual humor makes for a thoroughly enjoyable watch. You may be wondering why I'm heaping huge praise on a comedian when this is a horror review blog. Well, Mel Brooks is no stranger to horror. His movie Young Frankenstein has become immensely popular over the years and was even made into a Broadway musical. Everyone knows and loves that movie. I'd like to focus on a not-so-beloved Mel Brooks movie featuring another funny man, Leslie Nielsen.

Dracula: Dead And Loving It is a 1995 horror comedy starring Leslie Nielsen (The Naked Gun, Creepshow) as Dracula and Mel Brooks (Blazing Saddles, Robin Hood: Men In Tights) as Abraham van Helsing. The movie spoofs the classic 1931 Dracula film, following the story relatively closely. Solicitor Thomas Renfield (Peter MacNicol, Ghostbusters II, Ally McBeal) travels to Transylvania to meet with Count Dracula to finalize his purchase of Carfax Abbey in England. When he reaches a nearby village, the villagers (Anne Bancroft and Chuck McCann) warn Renfield that Count Dracula is actually a vampire and with the sun setting, they will not take him to the castle. Unconcerned and with a schedule (pronounced “shedule” by Renfield) to keep, Renfield proceeds on foot to Dracula's Castle. Dracula puts Renfield under a hypnotic spell, turning him into a slave that subsists only on bugs. They travel to England and when the boat docks, all the crew have vanished except for Renfield. He is committed to an insane asylum run by Doctor Seward (Harvey Korman, Blazing Saddles, High Anxiety). That night, Dracula visits the opera where he introduces himself to Dr. Seward who happens to be his new neighbor. He also meets Dr. Seward's daughter Mina (Amy Yasbeck, Robin Hood: Men In Tights, The Mask) and her friend Lucy (Lysette Anthony, Krull, The Advocate). That night, Dracula goes to Lucy's room and bites her. The next day, she is inexplicably exhausted and sick, so Dr. Seward calls on Dr. Abraham van Helsing, an expert on obscure diseases. Van Helsing explains that she has been bitten by a vampire and covers her room with garlic. That night, Dracula breaks Renfield out of his asylum to remove the garlic. He is captured and returned to the asylum while Dracula bites Lucy again and turns her into a vampire. Van Helsing and Mina's fiance Jonathan Harker (Steven Weber, Wings, Farm House) kill Lucy with a stake to the heart while Dracula eventually bites Mina. Will Jonathan and van Helsing be able to stop Dracula before it's too late?

I make the same face when I find out the deli is out of knishes

If this movie sounds just like the 1931 Dracula, it's not a coincidence. Other spoofs by Brooks, such as Young Frankenstein and Spaceballs, had managed to create their own stories while poking fun at the originals. Dracula: Dead And Loving It is more faithful to the source material with just a few little asides here and there. It's perfectly fine because the focus of the movie is more to make you laugh than to make you enjoy the story. For those that have seen Dracula, it may be slightly boring to have to sit through a story you already know. The jokes come quickly, with a mixture of physical comedy, word play, clever asides and all the other hallmarks of Mel Brooks' work. There's even the usual sprinkling of Jewish and Yiddish humor which no doubt will leave some gentiles scratching their heads. For those aware of that type of humor, it's highly enjoyable, as always. Still, the jokes are fairly “by the book”. Those accustomed to Brooks' wackiness in movies like History Of The World Part I and Silent Movie may be a little disappointed with Dracula: Dead And Loving It's straightforward nature.

While the story is nothing special and there's no scares to speak of, the performances from the cast help move the film along. Leslie Nielsen is fun and occasionally hammy, but in a good way. Fans of his Naked Gun movies will enjoy him immensely. Mel Brooks is his usual funny self while never hogging the spotlight. Amy Yasbeck is good as well, though I would have liked her to have a bigger role. She was great as Maid Marian, so it's not like she wasn't capable of having a larger role. The same could be said for Steven Weber as Jonathan Harker. Despite being a comedy, there is one scene that contains more blood than many horror movies. When Jonathan kills Lucy, blood literally explodes all over him multiple times. Other than that, there isn't much action of violence to speak of. There are some pratfalls and physical comedy thrown around for good measure just to keep the audience visually stimulated. The sets look OK, but tend to have a fakeness to them that takes away from the overall movie.

"Uhhhhh...she tripped!"

Dracula: Dead And Loving It may not be the best Mel Brooks movie, but it's still very funny. There are many negative reviews out there, but I feel that the movie has gotten better with age. The jokes are still capable of making people laugh which is more than what most new movies can do. I would take this movie over any of those Date Movie, Superhero Movie, Meet The Spartans crapfests. There isn't much story to speak of and if you've seen the 1931 Dracula, you already know what is going to happen. If you need something fun to watch, but still want a touch of traditional horror, Dracula: Dead And Loving It is worth your time.

7.5/10

Day 169: Creepshow

Creepshow

It's like a peepshow, but scary for a good reason

Happy Father's Day everyone. I hope you got something special for you dad or if you're a dad yourself, I hope you had a good day. And even if you didn't celebrate the day, I hope you enjoyed yourself because you should. My love of horror was passed down to me from my dad and it all started with a VHS copy of Dawn Of The Dead. “It has zombies in a mall,” he said and I have been hooked ever since. The wonderful world of horror allows people to come together and bond. It also has a great tradition of having stories based off holidays. While I'm still waiting for a Hannukah-based horror movie, a story in Creepshow gives me an excuse to review it.

Creepshow is a 1982 horror anthology written by Stephen King (The Shining, It) and directed by George Romero (Night Of The Living Dead, Monkey Shines). The movie consists of five stories and include an ensemble cast of actors and actresses. Tom Savini (Dawn Of The Dead, The Burning) handled the makeup and special effects. The movie begins starts with young Billy, a young fan of the comic book Creepshow. His father, Stan (Tom Atkins, The Fog, Lethal Weapon) slaps him for reading such “crap” and throws the comic in the garbage. That leads into our first story.

“Father's Day”

Father's Day stars Jonathan Lormer (Star Trek, The Twilight Zone) as Nathan Gratham, the miserly patriarch of a rich, spoiled family that has been involved in illegal operations. On Father's Day, Nathan's daughter Bedelia, who had become emotionally unstable for putting up with her father's demands for so many years, finally snapped and smashed his head in. Years later, several of Nathan's descendants, granddaughter Sylvia, great grandchildren Richard and Cass, and Cass's husband, Hank (Ed Harris, The Rock, Enemy At The Gates) gather on Father's Day for dinner. Bedelia arrives late to pay respect to her dead father at his grave. Nathan's rotten corpse rises from the grave in search of his traditional Father's Day Cake. Will the family be able to survive the zombified Nathan or will he finally get his cake?

I think he needs more than just cake

This story is a good first start for the movie. It starts off a little slow establishing characters, but things really pick up once Nathan rises from the grave. There is some internal conflict from the audience because on the one hand, we kind of hate Nathan because he's a mean, old bastard and now he's a murderous zombie. On the other hand, he was murdered and his descendants are all terrible people. Regardless, the story is fun, if a little simple, with good action and makeup. It may not be the best story in the bunch, but it has it's moments.

7.5/10

“The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill”

The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill (originally titled Weeds) stars Stephen King himself in the title role. Jordy is a simple country bumpkin who discovers a meteorite. He believes that the local college will pay him money for it, which would take care of his bank loan. The meteorite begins to ooze a strange glowing substance which Jordy unfortunately touches. A strange green plant-like organism begins to grow on Jordy's skin and in his home. It grows rapidly and itches him terribly The apparition of his dead father warns him not to take a bath, but the itching is too great and Jordy submerges himself in water. What will happen to Jordy after the bath and is there rain in the forecast?

Green is definitely your color

This is probably the shortest of the five stories, which is fine because there is not much to tell. That's not to say it isn't good, it's just one helpless man's story. While being simple, it creeps up on your (see what I did there?) and is actually far heavier than you'd expect. There is some humor and Stephen King actually plays the part very, very well. If you didn't know he was the writer, you'd think King was a full-time actor. The plant-like alien looks pretty good, especially when it covers the house. One complaint was his father appearing in a vision. It really came out of nowhere and was never really alluded to before or after. Also, I didn't like that the slow, goofy character was named Jordy. That's my name!

8.5/10

“Something To Tide You Over”

Something To Tide You Over stars Leslie Nielsen (The Naked Gun, Spy Hard) as Richard Vickers and Ted Danson (Cheers, Curb Your Enthusiasm) as Harry Wentworth. Richard's wife, Becky (Gaylen Ross, Dawn Of The Dead) has been cheating on him with Harry and Richard plans to take revenge on them. Despite his downright upbeat manner, Richard has snapped and wants to kill them both. Richard forces Harry at gunpoint into a hole on the beach and commands him to fill it with sand up to his neck. Richard puts a television in front of Harry so he can watch Becky, who is in the same predicament, drown when the tide rolls in. Richard, done with the deed, returns to his home to unwind. He is soon attacked by the seaweed-covered reanimated corpses of Harry and Becky. He loses his mind as his attempts to kill them fail. How can you kill something that is already dead?

Frank Drebin gets real

This is probably my favorite story in Creepshow and that is based almost solely on the performance of Leslie Nielsen. I loved his comedy work, so it was great to see him play a really evil character, all while doing it with a smile. It's a really interesting take on the character and it may not have worked if it wasn't done by Nielsen. He is extra awesome when he runs from the zombies and starts to lose his mind. Ted Danson also does a really good job. The story is pretty creative in that sick and twisted sort of way. There is a decent amount of action and a nice amount of fear. The makeup for the zombies could have been a bit better. Maybe it was all the seaweed on them. Regardless, it's still a good story with some great acting.

9.5/10

“The Crate”

The Crate stars Fritz Weaver (Marathon Man, Black Sunday) as Professor Dexter Stanley. A custodian discovers a 148 year-old crate beneath a stairwell at the college. He notifies Dexter and they decide to open the crate, unwittingly releasing a vicious, blood-thirsty creature. The creature, which is small and fur-covered, kills Mike and a graduate student who came to help. Stanley, unstable and hysterical tells his story to his friend and college, Professor Henry Northrup (Hal Holbrook, Into The Wild, The Fog). Mild-mannered Henry has been abused and embarrassed by his alcoholic wife, Wilma (Adrienne Barbeau, Escape From New York, The Fog). He sees this creature as a way to finally get rid of her once and for all. Henry concocts a story about Dexter beating up a girl to convince Wilma to come to the school and look underneath the stairs. What will happen to Wilma and how will the creature be contained?

Cheese!

This is another fun story aided by good performances. Hal Holbrook does very well as the beaten-down Henry looking to escape from his terrible wife. Adrienne Barbeau is great as the drunk and abusive Wilma. You really want her to be attacked by the creature and don't feel much remorse. The creature, which was like a cross between a mini-Yeti with a baboon face, looked too goofy for my taste. It's only show a few times, so it didn't kill the story, but it should have been a lot better. There is a good amount of violence and blood to keep us watching during the longest of the stories. At least it felt long because they had to establish Henry and Wilma's relationship before getting to the final act. It's necessary, but because they showed that in the middle of the story, it killed a little momentum. The acting really helped make this a good story.

9/10

“They're Creeping Up On You”

They're Creeping Up On You is the fifth and final story in Creepshow, starring E.G. Marshall (Tora! Tora! Tora!, 12 Angry Men) as the ruthless businessman Upson Pratt. Pratt suffers from mysophobia, which is a pathological fear of germs and contamination. He lives in a hermetically sealed apartment which becomes invaded by insects during a thunder storm. At first, he kills off the little bugs, just like the little people he fired and walked all over. He is soon overwhelmed from all sides by various insects. Will he be able to survive.

Donald Trump on a bad day

This is probably my least favorite of the stories. It's not bad, but it just doesn't have the same feel as the others. It comes off more like an episode of Tales From The Darkside than a cinematic story. E.G. Marshall is very good in his role, especially when he doesn't really interact with other actors. It has a few good scares and an overall feeling of dread. If you don't like bugs, you will be extra freaked out because they are literally everywhere. They're Creeping Up On You has good social commentary and some fun moments, but it doesn't measure up to the level of the other stories.

7/10

The movie ends with Billy using a voodoo doll on his father that he got out of an ad from Creepshow, with other ads referencing the previous stories. Stephen King is his usual wonderful self crafty this spooky and creative stories while George Romero does a great job directing. There is plenty of action and some real good scares. The ensemble cast really makes Creepshow something special. There is a little something for everyone in this movie and it is highly recommended. You should also check out the awesome horror punk/psychobilly band The Creepshow here and here Happy Father's Day!

9/10

Day 146: Prom Night

Prom Night

Does that mean the limo costs extra?

It's prom season across the country and high schoolers everywhere are spending too much money on fancy clothes and stretch Hummers. What recession? Despite my cynicism and general hatred of most things, I went to my high school's prom and actually had a good time. Go figure. What better way to celebrate girls wearing inappropriate dresses and guys wearing lime green tuxedos with matching fedoras than with a horror movie?

Prom Night is a 1980 cult classic starring Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween, Trading Places) as Kim Hammond. When she was eleven, Kim's younger sister Robin fell to her death after being taunted by classmates Wendy, Jude, Kelly, and Nick. All four swore not to tell anyone what had happened. Police blamed her death on a known sexual predator and pursued him until he crashed his car. He was badly burned and institutionalized. Six years later, Kim is now dating Nick, much to the dismay of Kelly. Prom season is upon them, with Kim and Nick being crowned king and queen. Wendy, Jude, Kelly all receiving mysterious threatening phone calls. Kim is harassed by a meathead named Lou who gets into a fight with Kim's brother, Alex. The school's principal and Kim and Alex's father, Mr. Hammond (Leslie Nielsen, The Naked Gun, Creepshow), suspends Lou. Kelly, still hurting from being rejected by Nick hatches a plan with Lou to get back at Kim. The threats continue, but the girls ignore them and attend prom night. There, a masked figure goes about brutally killing each of the girls while Lou and his cronies tie up Nick and takes his place as prom king. The killer walks up behind him and chops his head off, sending it down a runway. Who is the killer and what will happen to Kim and Nick?

Kids are assholes

Despite occasionally receiving the “classic” title attached to it, Prom Night is anything but. It's a mixed-up late 70's throwback with a confused story and very little horror to speak of. The main character in the movie is presented as Kim Hammond, but it's not really clear why. We know she isn't the killer early on, so why make her the focus of most of the movie? It's not like the killer is going after her because he's clearly going after the people who killed Robin. If anything, more time should have been given to Wendy, Jude, Kelly, and Nick. The movie strings the audience for far too long, trying to misdirect everyone into thinking who the killer might actually be. That's fine and makes for a fun little mystery, but it takes up most of the movie. The killing doesn't start until the last 25 minutes or so. The movie was only an hour and half long, but felt like it was closer to two and half hours. Another major problem was that the movie was incredibly dark. The version I watched was on DVD, but it had not been remastered and looked to be a direct copy from a VHS version. It's kind of like when you listen to a CD from the early 90's that was transferred from a record. A lot of the detail in the movie is missed simply because you can't see anything. Despite being in the dark, you should still be able to see what the hell is happening. There is some blood and violence, but not enough for a slasher flick.

The acting is decent throughout with Jamie Lee Curtis unsurprisingly putting in the best performance. It was nice to see Leslie Nielsen in a serious role, but he wasn't in it enough. The movie is deeply entrenched in the 70's, down to the hideous furniture, feathered hair, and leisure suits. The real horror in Prom Night comes in the form of the prom's theme: Disco Madness. That's like watching a horror movie 30 years from now where Dubstep is the theme. My senses were assaulted with terrible disco music and a light up dance floor. The cherry on this shit sundae was an unnecessary disco dance scene with Jamie Lee Curtis. She's got moves, don't get me wrong, but it served absolutely no purpose and comes across as unintentionally funny through 2012 eyes. 

 What a pointless decade

Prom Night doesn't hold up to the test of time like some other horror movies do. The story is particularly weak and entrenched in 70's culture. The acting is decent and there are some creative camera shots and direction. It might have been the copy I watched, but the movie is incredibly dark and a the action, where there isn't a whole lot of, is missed. For a slasher movie, there isn't nearly enough violence and blood. The ending is pretty predictable and disappointing. The movie is worth watching just to catch a strange glimpse into the past and watch a young Jamie Lee Curtis, but beyond that, Prom Night isn't anything special.

3.5/10

Day 67: Repossessed

Repossessed

Not going to lie. I don't remember Leslie Nielsen being dressed like that in the movie.

I'm a huge Leslie Nielsen fan. Whenever one of the Naked Gun movies is on TV, I stop what I'm doing and watch. I'll even give my time to some of his lesser comedies likes Spy Hard and some of the Scary Movies. Most people don't know that Nielsen was a serious actor for many years. Look up Swamp Fox from Disney to see what I mean. He was also capable of being completely evil in the original Creepshow. He was a triple threat and what better way to celebrate than with a horror-themed comedy starring Mr. Nielsen.

Repossessed is a 1990 spoof on classic horror movie, The Exorcist. Linda Blair from the original Exorcist stars as Nancy Aglet. Nancy was once possessed by the Devil when she was a little girl and has become possessed once again through the TV. With no medical explanation, Nancy reaches out to Father Luke Brophy (Anthony Starke) for help. Out of his element, Luke reaches out to the priest that conducted Nancy's exorcism, Father Jedediah Mayii (Leslie Nielsen). Mayii refuses, claiming poor health. Luke then turns to the Church for help, who recommends he teams up with televangelists, Ernest (Ned Beatty, Superman, Deliverance) and Fanny Weller (Lana Schwab, The Bridges of Madison County) for a live exorcism on TV. Horrified at the thought, Luke reaches out to Mayii once again. Convinced that he is the only person capable of defeating the Devil, Mayii hits the gym and gets in fighting shape. The televised exorcism hits the skids when a possessed Nancy gets serious and starts raising hell. Will Father Mayii (get it?) and Father Luke be able to save Nancy and send the Devil back to hell?

The power of Chris comBLAAAARRGGHHH

Since Repossessed is a spoof, it's safe to say that the plot isn't particularly important. Most of the effort is put towards visual gags and typical Leslie Nielsen comedy. The movie came out around 1990, but at times it feels very, very dated. The Naked Gun series relied more on general comedy whereas Repossessed used a lot of topical humor, which gets lost on the younger audience and even people that have forgotten about events from that time. Scenes like Sean Penn punching photographers and Leslie Nielsen dressed as the Ayatollah are still funny, but you do have search the recesses of your mind to remember why. Good comedy doesn't have a sell-by date and unfortunately a lot of jokes in this movie have one. That's not to say the movie isn't funny, because despite what some uptight critics say, it is. It's just not timeless comedy.

Leslie Nielsen is excellent as Father Mayii and Linda Blair is great as the possessed Nancy. Ned Beatty nails the televangelists of the 80's and Lana Schwab is particularly enjoyable as a Tammy Faye Baker spoof. Anthony Starke is good in his role and its a surprise to see that he hasn't been in much else. Cameos by Jesse “The Body” Ventura and “Mean” Gene Okerlund to call the fight between Mayii and Nancy is very funny and warms my wrestling mark heart. The movie is pretty light on actual horror, but we're really watching to laugh, not to be scared. The references to the original Exorcist are appreciated and good for a few chuckles. Heck, the movie even has it's own theme song. More movies need their own theme.

Speak softly and carry a big Louisville Slugger

While it doesn't reach the level of the Naked Gun series, Repossessed is still a fun, if not forgotten, movie. Leslie Nielsen and Linda Blair are a lot of fun to watch with a good supporting cast. The jokes are there, but some feel very dated when it comes to topical material. If you like the Exorcist and you like Leslie Nielsen, ignore the critics, and check this movie out for yourself. You just might like it.

6.5/10