The Hitcher
Shouldn't he have his thumb out or something?
Another day, another horror remake.
These days, remakes are everywhere. Remaking a movie is not a new
concept, but Hollywood has officially run out of ideas. A majority of
the movies are either comic book or novel adaptations or remakes. Was
the world really clamoring to see a big screen remake of 21 Jump
Street? In horror, sometimes a remake works out like Dawn of the Dead
and The Thing. It can bring a formerly unknown horror movie to a new
audience or make a mediocre horror film better. It's important not to
write off a movie just because it's a remake. You need to see it for
yourself before casting it into the fiery pits of hell.
The Hitcher is a 2007 remake of the
1985 movie starring C. Thomas Howell and Rutger Hauer. This version
stars Zachary Knighton (Happy Endings, FlashForward) as Jim Halsey
and Sophia Bush (Stay Alive, One Tree Hill) as his girlfriend Grace
Andrews. Jim and Grace go on a road trip for spring break across the
American Southwest. On a rainy night, Jim almost hits a hitchiker on
an empty road, but keeps driving. Eventually, the hitchiker, John
Ryder (Sean Bean, Lord Of The Rings, Silent Hill) catches up to them
at a gas stop and asks for a ride. Caught in the awkward position,
Jim agrees. Things quickly turn bad as Ryder is revealed to be a
murderous psychopath, taking Grace hostage and trying to force Jim to
say “I want to die.” Jim thinks fast and is able to kick Ryder
out of his moving car. The next day, Jim and Grace see Ryder inside a
station wagon with an unsuspecting family. They try to warn them, but
are run off the road, crashing Jim's car. They start to walk when
they come across the station wagon which is now covered in blood. The
father is still alive so they drive the station wagon in search of
help, only to be attacked by Ryder in a pickup truck. When things
look grim, Ryder stops the assault and drives off. They reach a
roadside cafe where Grace asks a waitress to call for help, but when
the police arrive, they arrest Jim and Grace. Ryder arrives at the
station, killing the police officers and free Jim from his cell,
allowing he and Grace to escape. Lieutenant Esteridge (Neal
McDonough, 88 Minutes, Walking Tall) investigates the crimscene and
determines that a third suspect, not just Jim and Grace, has killed
the police officers. On the run, Jim and Grace are confronted by
another cop, whom Ryder shoots in an attempt to frame them. A high
speed chase ensues, with Ryder killing all of the police officers in
pursuit. What does he want with Grace and Jim and how can they stop
him?
"I miss my hobbits."
It's important to acknowledge right off
the bat that Michael Bay was a producer for this movie. Normally, I
don't point out who produces a movie, because it usually doesn't
matter. It matters a hell of a lot with this movie because it reeks
of Michael Bay's horrendous style of directing. Despite Dave Meyers
sitting in the director's chair, you would be hard-pressed to
differentiate The Hitcher from some of Bay's other movies like
Transformers and Armageddon. The best way to describe this movie is
“Explosion, explosion, high-speed car crash, gun shots explosion,
pretty girl running, explosion, high-speed car crash, pretty girl
running, more gun shots.” Everything else is just window dressing.
There is a gratuitous amount of violence and blood, but it's not very
thrilling. The movie certainly doesn't lack in the action department.
Unfortunately, the movie forgets that it's a horror movie and
ignores the tension from the first film. The original was engaging
and creepy while this version is made for the MTV generation, down to
the unappropriated choice of music. During a car chase scene, they
actually play Nine Inch Nails “Closer”. It's a great song, but
it's completely out of place with the scene. It's downright insulting
that they chose to use this song, especially considering what this
song is actually about.
The movie follows fairly closely t o
the original material, with one big exception being the inclusion of
Grace. She is simply not in the first Hitcher and I question why they
felt they need to include her. This version does switch things up
with the female character being portrayed as the hero, which is
always good, but this doesn't happen until the last 15 minutes or so.
She can barely keep it together for most of the movie and we're
supposed to believe she is able to escape burning cars and wield a
shotgun? Why bother doing that if you're not going to commit the
entire movie to that notion? Sean Bean puts in the best performance
despite not being on screen all that much. Rutger Hauer was a far
more sinister version of Ryder than Bell, who was more like an
unstoppable, Terminator-like villain. There is not much in the way of
character development, especially in the case of Lt. Esteridge. He
just kind of shows up at certain times and Neal McDonough chews so
much scenery that I'm surprised the sets don't have teeth marks.
This gets the "Michael Bay Erection Of Approval"
Remaking The Hitcher wasn't a bad idea.
It isn't a particularly well-known horror movie from the 80's that
could play well with a modern audience. The original was smart in
it's creepyness, playing on the fears of picking up a stranger. This
version ignored the nuances in favor of lots of explosions and car
chases. Michael Bay's stink is all over this movie, so if you hate
his style of “KABOOM! BLAMMO! POW POW!” storytelling, you'll be
annoyed by this as well. The characters lack the appropriate mount of
development and the inclusion of a new character was unnecessary.
Sean Bean is decent as Ryder, but doesn't get much help from his
fellow cast members. What was once a decent horror movie has now
become another run-of-the-mill action movie for unremarkable
teenagers to watch when Fast and the Furious isn't on.
2.5/10
