Day 209: Vampires

Vampires

Their waffles are to die for

I don't want to say that the Twilight series has ruined the horror genre (mostly because I haven't and will not read it), but it certainly has made it harder for the genre. Vampires have always had a romantic quality to them, but Twilight dumbed it down for the tween population so they could swoon over a monster that sparkles in the sunlight. Yeah, it sounds pretty hideous. Vampire movies now need to up the ante and present themselves in a different light. Some movies try found footage, or telling the story from the vampire's point of view or, like in the case of vampires, an amalgam of both. (And yes, I have already reviewed a movie called “Vampires,” but this is a different film.)

Vampires is a 2010 Belgian horror movies starring Carlo Ferante as Georges. The Belgian vampire community invites a film crew to follow one of their families. After two attempts in which the crew were eaten by vampires, ground rules are set and a third crew is able to film the family. Georges is the patriarch, Bertha the mother, Samson the son, and Grace the daughter. They also share their cellar with two other vampires who are relegated to a small space because they do not have children. They explain what it is like to live as a vampire, having a young woman they call The Meat stay in their house as their food. The also immigrants delivered to their house for eating as well. We see them picking out coffins to sleep in and going to school to learn how to properly be a vampire. Despite being vampires, the family has problems similar to that of a human family, though with a twist. Grace is unhappy and desperately wants to become human. She wears pink clothes, puts on makeup to appear tan, and even has a human boyfriend. She even goes as far as trying to kill herself through various human methods, but her vampirism keeps her alive. Samson is rebellious and sleeps with the community leader's wife, the only taboo in the vampire community. The penalty is death, but Samson is able to go to London and speak with an elder who is able to stay the execution. The family is exiled to Canada. Will they be able to adjust to their new life in a new country?

Cheers, Big Ears

This film is not your typical vampire movie. It is shot in the documentary style of interviews which captures some intimate moments of the vampires' lives. It gives a unique perspective on the vampire genre as well. The movie also brings up the “vampire code,” written by Count Dracula himself, which all vampires must live by. This was something new to me and I'm not sure if it exists in other forms of entertainment, but it added a sense of realism to the movie. The vampires live without fear of disease or violence, but still must live within the code. I am hesitant to compare it to other mockumentaries such as This Is Spinal Tap and Fear of A Black Hat because while it does have humorous moments, it is not a total spoof on vampires.

The movie is well written with some clever dialogue that really help things move along. The acting is good all around and make the movie believable. Made for relatively, the movie focuses more on character development than action. It has a few scenes of violence and some blood, but nothing extreme or gorey. There is some good social commentary throughout, such as the differences in lifestyle for the family. Life is easy in Belgium and they are fat and comfortable. When they move to Canada, they are forced to work and interact with humans. This all can be compared to the hardships that human immigrants must endure. Vampires does have some differences in other vampire movie, such as fire not killing them, but it didn't bother me much. Little changes are ok. Vampires sparkling in sunlight are not. 

Let me stand next to your fire

Vampires is a smart and witty take on the vampire genre. It wisely uses the documentary style to develop characters in a way that straight forward movies can not. The interview segments are windows in the character's minds and emotions and you just don't get that from a regular vampire movie. There is a bit of action and blood, but not enough for your typical horror fan. The movie has some genuinely funny moments and is enjoyable for people that like to pick up on small nuances. If you enjoy good writing and dialogue and can live without lots of violence, you'll like Vampires.

7/10

Day 26: Rabid Grannies

Rabid Grannies

Grandma what was it like to be on that holiday sight?

Titles are very important, especially for movies. The title can be smart, creative, and make you think. Sometimes the title can be so ridiculous that you avoid the movie at all costs, just because it sounds silly. Sometimes you can figure out what an entire movie is about just in the title. This is one of those times.

Rabid Grannies (originally Les Mémés Cannibales) is a Belgian horror movie from the late 80's. The story revolves around an extended family attending the birthday of their two grandmothers. Most of the family is generally reprehensible and feign love for the grandmothers in order to get their inheritance. A strange present from the devil-worshiping black sheep of the family arrives and transforms the grandmothers into maniacal cannibalistic monsters. Escape seems to be impossible and weapons have no effect. How will the family survive and how will they stop their rabid grannies?

The Belgians have a terrible dental plan

Rabid Grannies has a simple story and gets it out of the way quickly. Most of the characters are pretty detestable, so you're happy to see them get snapped in half, gored, or eaten alive. This was done before heavy computer animation, so it's nice to see the creative use of makeup and prosthetic. Nowadays, the grannies would be shot with full motion suits on green-screens. The makeup is very good and the grannies look especially terrifying. The acting is ok, but since it is dubbed, I can't really give it a complete grade.

I don't know much about the Belgians besides their delicious waffles. This is the first Belgian horror movie I have ever seen and, boy, they do not hold back. The movie is not just violent, it's ultraviolent. Apparently, there is an unrated European version of Rabid Grannies with even more gore and violence. This version had plenty, so no need to rush out to find it. There is a strong undercurrent of black humor to go along with the violence, so its not a total shock and awe bloodbath. One problem I do have is the quality of the film itself. While I wasn't expecting HD quality, the footage feels like it was shot in the 70s, not the late 80s. It made watching a bit difficult at times and hard to focus in darker scenes.

If Wolverine and Freddy Krueger had a baby...and then puked on it

With a name like Rabid Grannies, you're not going to get high culture entertainment. You're going to get demonic old ladies ripping about people while gleefully cackling. The 80's were a crazy time. Just look at Budweiser spokesdog Spuds MacKenzie and Rambo being marketed as a toy for kids. You can practically hear the writers and director doing lines of coke off a Belgian discotheque toilet while WHAM! plays in the background. Its hyper violent and super gorey. If you're looking for bloody kills and some sick humor, this is your movie. If you want story, pacing, and a well-planned plot, Rabid Grannies, shockingly, is not for you.

6.5/10