180: Vampires

Vampires

Gee, I wonder what this movie is about

Another day, another John Carpenter movie. He's been working horror for over thirty years and has been involved with some of the biggest and best horror movies ever. Halloween, The Thing, They Live are some of his best work. Even his non horror movies like Escape From New York and Assault On Precinct 13 are fun. Recently, though, John Carpenter has hit a bit of a rough patch. His return movie, The Ward, was thoroughly mediocre and Ghosts of Mars was just plain bad. Fun, but bad. Sometimes you just have a cold streak and sometimes you just have nothing in the tank. But how about the movie right before Ghosts of Mars, Vampires?

Vampires is a 1998 horror movie starring James Woods (Videodrome, Any Given Sunday) as the vampire hunter Jack Crow and Daniel Baldwin (Attack Of The 50 Ft. Woman, Phoenix) as his partner, Anthony Montoya. Jack leads a group of vampire slayers as they clear out a house, or nest, in New Mexico. That night, the crew parties with a group of hookers, including a pretty blond named Katrina (Sheryl Lee, Winter's Bone, Twin Peaks). A master vampire named Valek (Thomas Ian Griffith, xXx, The Karate Kid Part III) arrives, bites Katrina, and brutally kills most of the crew and the women. He calls Jack by name and goes after him, but Jack is able to escape along with Montoya and a woozy Katrina. Montoya and Katrina hold up in a hotel while Jack visits Cardinal Alba (Maximilian Schell, Joan of Arc, The Brothers Bloom) and Father Adam Guiteau (Tim Guinee, CSI, Iron Man). They explain that Valek was the first vampire, thus the most difficult to kill. Meanwhile, Katrina now has a psychic link to Valek, seeing what he sees. She tries to kill herself, but Montoya stops her from jumping out a window, cutting his arm in the process. Katrina sees the blood and bites his arm. Through Katrina's link, they are able to eventually piece together that Valek has found a mythical black cross, The Berziers Cross. It is revealed that Valek was a priest who became possessed by a demon and the cross was used in his exorcism. The exorcism was never completed, turning him into a vampire. Now that he has the cross, he will be able to complete the ritual, allowing him and his vampires to walk in the sunlight. Will Jack, Father Guiteau, and a bitten Montoya be able to stop Valek and his vampire crew and how is Cardinal Alba involved?

Great band picture

This movie is fun, plain and simple. I watched it many times growing up and even through the years, I am still entertained by it. It is filled with loads of action and some genuine laughs. Most of those laughs could be attributed to clever writing and James Woods. Jack Crow is practically made for Woods; he is loud, crude, and obnoxious. He looks like he is having fun in this role and it shows on screen. Screaming “Die! Die! Die you fuck, die!” isn't exactly Shakespeare, and in fact, may have been written by a 16 year old boy, but it does have a fun ring to it. There is plenty of guns, stakes to the heart, stakes to the head, and exploding in sunlight. The exploding bits could have been executed better because certain scenes just looked like the actors had flares attached to their clothing. There is a good amount of blood and one fantastic scene in the beginning when Valek splits one of the vampire hunters in half. Makes me wish they did more of that.

The story itself isn't particularly original, but its enough to keep things moving along between gunshots and curse words. It feels like there is a vampire movie out ever few years where the main vampire is about to unlock the ability to walk in the day time. It just feels played out, but again, the story isn't the real focus of the movie anyway. Thomas Ian Griffith is good as the brooding Valek and Sheryl Lee does well as Katrina. She is very convincing when she is transitioning to vampire and psychically linking to Valek. Daniel Baldwin keeps up with Woods in the fun department and is a good supporting role.

Give me a "T"!

Vampires is a fun, action-packed vampire movie with a good amount of blood and lots of gun shots. The acting and dialogue play very well in between action sequences, making the movie a complete and enjoyable watch. James Woods is great in his role and looks to be enjoying every minute of it. When an actor is having fun and gets into the role, we the audience benefit. While the story isn't anything special, the one-liners will keep you smiling as well as the gunshots and vampire staking. It's not John Carpenter's best, but he does well enough to craft and entertaining vampire movie.

7.5/10

Day 149: Videodrome

Videodrome

Betamaxdrome was a complete failure

The 80's were a crazy time. The Cold War was still raging, Ronald Reagan was convincing people that greed was good, and cable television began to reach a bigger audience. It seems almost quaint now, but back then, not everyone had 500 channels, computers, and cell phones. Getting cable television was a big deal with specialized programming and movie channels such as HBO. There has always been, and still is, a concern that television will corrupt the youth and will cause them to do all sorts of horrible things. Video games like Grand Theft Auto and music, particularly heavy metal and it's subgenres, get their share of the blame as well, but TV is still the big culprit. Too much violence and sex, they say. It'll rot your brain, they say. It will make you hallucinate and turn you into an assassin. What, they don't say that?

Videdrome is a 1983 Canadian horror movie written and directed by David Cronenberg (The Fly, Scanners) and starring James Woods (Any Given Sunday, Vampires) as Max Renn. Max is the president of a sleazy television station, Channel 83, CIVIC-TV. The channel specializes in sex and violence and Max is looking for the next big thing. He meets with Harlan, the station's satellite pirate who comes across a television feed supposedly from Malaysia that shows people being tortured on a show called Videodrome. He defends himself on a talk show panel across from radio host Nicki Brand (Deborah Harry) and philosopher/television televangelist, Professor Brian O'Blivion. Max begins to see Nicki who, it turns out, is into sado-masochism and is turned on by watching Videodrome. Harlan informs Max that the video feed of Videodrome is actually coming from Pittsburgh, exciting Max with the possibility of acquiring the show for his channel. Nicki tells Max that she is visiting Pittsburgh and, despite his wishes, is going to audition to be on Videodrome. Max contacts Masha, a softcore pornographer, to find out what she can about Videodrome. She discovers that the show is not scripted and is in fact real, and the face of a new philosophy and political movement. She tells Max to speak with Brian O'Blivion to learn more of what Videodrome really is all about. At the Cathode Ray Mission, Max speaks with O'Blivion's daughter, Bianca, who informs Max that her father only speaks to people through video tape and never in person. He later receives a tape from O'Blivion explaining that Videodrome is actually the beginnings of a war to control the minds of the masses. Max begins to have very real and very disturbing hallucinations, including a scar on his stomach suddenly opening up as a gaping wound and a pulsating, throbbing television. He learns from Bianca that these hallucinations are due to a tumor in his brain cause by a malicious broadcast the emanates from Videodrome. Max is contacted by Videodrome's producer and the head of Spectacular Optical Corp, Barry Convex who has been secretly working with Harlan to expose Max to the broadcast, in order to brainwash him and gain control of his station, thus unleashing Videodrome onto the world. Under Convex's influence, Max becomes an assassin, killing his partners at the station. Will he be able to to break free and stop Convex from taking over the world, one television screen at a time.

"I knew I shouldn't have eaten Arby's."

This movie may be one of the craziest things I've ever seen and I mean that in a good way. It is so far out there that I'm not even sure what else to compare it to. Some have described it as “techno-surrealist” and “cyber-violent” but it all adds up to a wild horror/conspiracy movie that keeps the audience glued to the screen for the entire movie. The audience is sucked in to the mystery of what and who is behind Videodrome and is right beside Max when everything goes down. I was concerned that this would be a torture-heavy movie (I don't need to see someone brutalized. I watch these movies to be entertained), but thankfully it's only a small part of the movie and really just serves as a catalyst. There is a good amount of violence and plenty of scary moments. The makeup and effects are impressive and would only be ruined in the CGI era.

David Cronenberg does an excellent job in the director's chair, really capturing the bizarre nature of the entire story. I don't say that lightly because I fucking hated another one of his movies, A History of Violence. FUCKING HATED with the fury of a thousand suns being hit by a thousand nuclear bombs. Seriously, fuck that movie. Regardless, Cronenberg is masterful in Videodrome. James Woods, despite being a dick in real life from what I've heard, is really convincing as Max Renn. The other real star of the movie is the music; a mixture of creepy, steady synth along with a small string section. It fits perfectly with the entire feel of the movie and adds to the overall horror. 

It's rude to point

Videodrome is weird, bizarre, and disturbing, but for all the right reasons. There is a good amount of social commentary, which is an element that brings the movie to a whole new level. There is lots of action and a fun conspiracy combined with great effects and solid music. The directing and acting is spot on, fitting well with such a different story. Videodrome is not for everyone, and certainly not for little kids. It's worth going out of your way to see it, but make sure you buckle in for a strange ride. Long live the new flesh.

8.5/10