Over 20 Years Later, The X-Files Intro Is Still The Creepiest Thing On TV

The X-Files, a science fiction/horror television show that ran from 1993 to 2002, was a pop culture hit that focused on all things paranormal and conspiratorial. A strong focus was given to wide-spanning government conspiracies and aliens, though its strength came from the episodes featuring various monsters, legends, and creatures. The series spawned two full-length films, spin-offs, comic books, toys, and countless parodies. Just this year, a six-episode tenth season was released (don’t spoil it for those that haven’t seen it yet). This announcement piqued my interest in the series and, probably like a lot of people, inspired me to watch the series from the beginning.

It’s interesting going back to watch something that initially scared me as a child. As an adult, I can now appreciate the drama and suspense of the show’s fine pacing, the subtle humor, the strong elements of horror, and the great music in each episode. I like to call this switch from childhood fear to mature enjoyment the “Freddy Krueger Effect”. When you’re young, monsters seem very real. They can hide in your closet, under your bed, down in the basement, anywhere that is unknown. For a kid, Freddy Krueger is terrifying. He’s scary-looking, has sharp knives on his fingers, and can get you where you parents can’t protect you. When you hit a certain age, though, he’s no longer scary and can actually be morbidly funny. The Freddy Krueger Effect works for Tales From The Crypt and can certainly be applied to The X-Files. An individual episode may give you the “willies”, but time and age seems to have muted the unsettling nature of the show. Except for the theme song.

As far as theme songs go, The X-Files theme may be one of the most iconic of the modern television era. So popular was the theme that it actually reached #2 on the UK singles chart. It’s worth noting that The X-Files debuted the same year as The Nanny, Blossom, and Class of ’96. Shows still had lyrics tailored specifically for the show. The X-Files theme was different. Composed by Mark Snow, who also created music for shows like Smallville, Millennium, and La Femme Nikita, the theme is an instrumental that borders on the ethereal. The alien whistling, a combination of a sample from a synth called “Whistling Joe” and Snow’s wife Glynn, effect conveys a sense of otherworldly uneasiness in the viewer while the echoing keyboard serves to focus and prolong feelings of dread. Its sparseness allows the whistling and echoes to breathe, boring deep within the listener’s mind. On its own, the X-Files theme may not seem so powerful. When the music is combined with the original footage from the show’s intro, though, it does.

The X-Files introduction was so effective because it always had a great set-up. Rather than starting the show with the intro, the episode itself would begin with a 1-2 minute setup. The set-up would almost always end with a traumatic experience, usually an unexplained occurrence or violence. Before the show is even technically introduced, the audience is thrust into the violent unknown world of the X-Files. We are not just told, but shown that monsters do exist and they are dangerous.

After the title screen, we are introduced to a photograph of a human pointing at a saucer-like object in the sky. Though partially obscured, we see that the photo is from the FBI and is dated. Nowadays, photo manipulation can be done convincingly in any home around the world. In the early 90’s it was less common. The photo does look real, accentuated by the person in the left corner pointing at the flying saucer. It’s a candid shot that lends the show a sense of credibility.

 

 The next few shots focus in on the unidentified flying object. The viewer is drawn in to the unknown ship as it gets closer and closer until it practically takes up the entire screen. This makes the “unknown” unavoidable, forcing the viewer to directly confront their fears.

 

Following the space ship careening into the living room, we see an arm pointing towards some sort of graph or notes. The arm is cloaked in darkness, belonging to a shadowy figure that we will never know. What the arm is pointing at is not clear. Is it a scientific formula? The notes of a madman? Is it even of this planet or this dimension? It is too much for the average mind to grasp, but someone out there knows, and that may be the scariest thing of all.

 

Now we have a floating orb with electric beams rotating in all directions. Admittedly, this looks like something you’d get at Spencer’s Gifts in the mall.

 

After seeing the strobe light from your friend’s basement, the audience is then subjected to the image of a face twisting and distorting in agony. We don’t know who this is or why they are being subjected to such obvious pain. It can be a physical or metaphysical pain. That’s left up to the viewer which, once again, allows the mind to fill-in the blanks with all types of horrible ideas. This quick scene is a brief glimpse into the effect that the X-Files world has on humans. The show’s opening scene is usually one of great violence or drama and now we have this helpless, contorting face. All of this before we even see the credits for the two main actors.

 

The next few seconds, though, are possibly the most interesting and disturbing moments of the show’s introduction. We see what can only be described as two mirroring alien eggs. Something emerges from both at the same time as the words “Paranormal Activity” flashes across the screen. While the previous scenes let the viewer’s mind do the work of instilling confusing and uneasiness, these shots are legitimately confusing. What unspeakable horrors are being born? Where is it from and where is it going? What does it want? Can we stop it?

For years, I had no idea what was going on with this shot and only recently discovered that it was a mirrored seed germinating. It’s interesting that something so simple and normal that occurs all over the world every day can seem so unnatural.

 

Next we have a ghost-like figure shambling down a hallway. Is it a ghost or perhaps someone trapped between dimensions, appearing only as a shadow of a human being? It’s a little unnerving on its own, but when the words “GOVERNMENT DENIES KNOWLEDGE” appear on screen, a new world of paranoia is opened to the viewer. “They” know what this is and “they” will not tell us. What us do “they” know? It’s a collision of conspiracy and supernatural and we have no good answers to assuage our fear.

 

We then see the show’s protagonists, Agents Mulder and Scully (both David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson receive credit earlier in the intro) burst into a room with their weapons drawn. Before the scene fades away, we see looks of shock and horror on their faces. What could possibly be in that room to two hardened veterans of the paranormal and the unexplained to react in such a way? Do we, the audience, even want to know?

 

One of the final scene’s from the X-Files intro is also the one open to the most interpretation. We have a small, featureless all-white being falling toward an enormous blue hand with one small red section on its finger. Is the figure human or is the hand? Are neither? Should this be seen as more of a psychological despair than a physical concern? Why red, white, and blue? Is this a commentary on the show’s conspiratorial views of the government? Is it to show man slipping through the fingers of God and falling into some unknown abyss? This is all pretty deep for a television show.

 

After a shot of a giant eye and credit to show creator Chris Carter, we have the iconic shot of a quickly moving storm over mountains with the slogan “THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE”. The tagline did occasionally change throughout the show’s run for particular episodes saying things such as “TRUST NO ONE” AND “DENY EVERYTHING”. It is this final image that leaves the most impact. The truth is out there, implying that we do not currently know the truth. We have been and continue to be deceived. The only way to find the truth is to go into the unknown and find it ourselves. The onus is on us (and Mulder and Scully, the avatars for the audience) to find the truth.

The images and messages occur in less than a minute, but they last long after the show itself is over. There have been other show intros with scary music or disturbing imagery that stick with the viewer. Unsolved Mysteries and The Outer Limits come to mind. Modern horror shows may be gorier and have better special effects, but they don’t have the same staying power of the X-Files introduction for the simple fact that they do not use the most powerful fear creator in the world: the mind. A zombie eats someone on a show and that’s it. A ghost is torturing a poor family and that’s it. There is little else to work with beyond the initial jump scare or shock of seeing something violent. The X-files intro allowed things to by implied and inferred, leaving the viewer to try and fill in the blanks. All while an unearthly song plays in the background.

Day 320: The Woman In Black

The Woman In Black

Back in black

It's rare that I watch a movie having absolutely zero knowledge of what is going to happen. Contrary to the belief that someone who has watched one horror movie a day for over three hundred days, I don't sit online watching trailers and researching everything horror. I like the genre, but I just don't hang out on horror forums and websites. Still, I usually have a general knowledge of what movie I am about to watch. I was almost completely in the dark for today's movie. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing doesn't matter, but it put me in an interesting spot as I had no idea what to expect.Today's review is a request by Rob. If you'd like to request a movie for me to review, send me an email at 365daysofhorror@gmail.com.

The Woman In Black is a 1989 British television horror movie based on the novel of the same name by Susan Hill. The movie stars Adrian Rawlins (multiple Harry Potter films) as Arthur Kidd. Arthur is a solicitor in London who is sent to the small coastal town on the east coast of England to attend the funeral of a widower named Alice Drablow. On the train to the town, Arthur meets Sam Toovey, a wealthy landowner who appears to be unsettled at the news of Arthur dealing with Mrs. Drablow's belongings. Arthur attends the funeral with a local solicitor when he notices a lone woman in black at the back of the church. After the ceremony, Arthur once again sees the mysterious woman among the gravestones. He travels to Mrs. Drablow's isolated home, Eel Marsh House, near the coast. As he walks around the home's graveyard, he sees the woman in black. She begins to walk toward him and Arthur flees to the house in terror. He inspects the house, coming across the death certificates of two people and pictures of a woman who looks suspiciously like the woman in black. He also listens to disturbing wax cylinders recorded by the late Mrs. Drablow. While walking on the path outside the home, Arthur hears the horrendous screams and crashing sounds, but cannot find any accident. After visiting Mr. Toovey in town, Arthur returns to the home with Mr. Toovey's dog, Spider. The strange occurrences continue, including strange sounds from upstairs in a room with a locked door. Arthur gets an ax to break it down, but discovers that the door is now open. The room was an old nursery and Arthur begins to hear the voice of a child. After doing some research, Arthur learns that Mrs. Drablow had a sister named Jennet who had a child. The boy was adopted by Mrs. Drablow and her husband, but Jennet took her son and both were killed in an accident on the trail outside the house. Is Jennet the woman in black and what does she want with Arthur?

Stop! She can't see you if you stand perfectly still.

As I said before, I had no idea what to expect from The Woman In Black. The story itself plays out like a mixture of Poe and Lovecraft's non-science fiction work. It's a slow-boil ghost story that trickles out clues throughout the entire film. The big factor that separates this movie from others is that it was created for British television and not for a wider audience. Being on television obviously cut down on the potential for violence and truly horrific scares, but the movie does have a few good jolts. They are old-school horror scares with strange sounds and phenomena. The woman in black is supremely unsettling to look at as she stands very still in the background, watching and waiting. The disembodied screams are also unpleasant, especially considering how loud they are. Be careful watching this at home because a neighbor may call the police on you.

As a boorish Yankee watching this, I did find it occasionally difficult to understand some of the regional words and phrases being used. A lot of the characters had the “stiff upper lip” attitude, which wore on me after a while. Again, boorish Yankee here. The movie is a tad long, especially considering the movie's slow pace and minimal action. The acting is very good as Adrian Rawlins manages to convey a true sense of terror even when he is alone in a scene. The end of the film may be controversial for some. I am still on the fence about it. On the one hand, it was a genuine surprise, but on the other it was too definite in it's scope. I think a little bit of ambiguity could have been scarier.

The forehead in pale

Sometimes it's good not knowing what to expect from a movie. I had no preconceived notions and allowed the movie to progress naturally. The Woman In Black has a good, traditional horror story that many literary fans will enjoy. If you're looking for lots of action and blood, this isn't for you. The movie does have a few genuine scares and plenty of unsettling moments. It's a little long and dry at certain points which slows down the overall horror. The acting is good and the atmosphere is appropriate. The movie is handicapped a bit by being made-for-television, but not to the point where the quality is cut off. While not a perfect horror story, The Woman In Black is still enjoyable.

7.5/10

Day 288: Remains

Remains

You'll never win with that hand

It's not always choosing which horror movie to watch. Sometimes you're not in the mood to watch a slasher or a vampire movie. Maybe you want a violence-filled splatter fest or perhaps something a little more psychological and slower. I'm sure many of you would get a laugh out of watching me try to decide which movie to watch, flipping through various DVDs and websites, trying to find something I'd enjoy. When I'm stuck, I'll take a look at the specifics of the movie like who is acting in it, or directing it or who wrote it. Today's movie is based off the work of famed horror comic book writer Steve Niles, who's work includes 30 Days Of Night and Criminal Macabre. Unfortunately the increase in price and decrease in quality has put a stop to my comic book reading some years back. I had never heard of Niles's book “Remains” but I have enjoyed his other work in the past, so I figured I would give this a shot.

Remains is a 2011 zombie movie based off the 5-issue comic book of the same name. The movie stars Grant Bowler (Ugly Betty, True Blood) as Tom, a blackjack dealer in a Reno, Nevada casino. Tom sneaks into storage room with Tori (Evalena Marie, Serena And The Ratts, Exhumed), a cocktail waitress at the casino, for a little “alone” time. While they are in the heavily-shielded room, a large experiment goes wrong, releasing large amounts of radiation into the world. The power goes out and both Tom and Tori are stuck in the room. When the power finally returns, they escape only to find the casino in ruins. When they try to help an old woman sitting at the slots, she turns out to be a zombie and tries to bite them. A well-placed walker-shot to the face kills her and they meet Jensen (Miko Hughes, Rosewell, Full House), a magician who worked in the casino. They fight off zombies in the hotel, trying unsuccessfully to save a woman stuck in a room with zombies. ON security cameras, they see Victor (Anthony Marks, Celebrity Ghost Stories, Blood Night: The Legend Of Mary Hatchet) fighting off zombies with a biker. He shoves the biker to the zombies and makes it into the casino. Over the course of the next few days, they try various means of escape from the casino. They try to sneak past the zombies when they sleep (yes, zombies sleep in this movie for some reason), but the plan fails. Tom's fingers are bitten, but Tori chops them off in case you become a zombie if bitten. They are saved by a group of soldiers and go back to the casino. Cindy (Tawny Cypress, Rescue Me, Heroes), the daughter of the soldier in charge, tends to Tom's wound and makes a connection with him. At the same time, the soldiers raid the casino's pantry, leaving the group with no food. Jensen tries to stop them, but is killed. With no food, corrupt soldiers, and zombies outside, how will they survive?

"Sorry, I'm new at this zombie thing."

It's important to mention that this movie was made for the Chiller TV network, a cable network specializing in horror movies. While the idea for the channel is great, for whatever reason, a lot of the movies they show are edited for content, language, or nudity. It seems kind of weird to me to create an entire network for a genre known for it's violence and nudity. The movie does have that “made-for-television” quality to it in regards to the quality of film used to shoot it and star power. There are multiple fade-to-black scenes, indicating commercial breaks, which does get tiresome. The story itself is your standard zombie-survivalist horror movie. You already have a pretty good idea of what is going to happen. None of the survivors are particularly likable, which I suppose does give the movie a dose of reality, but makes it hard to cheer for some of them. In most zombie movies, the survivors are at least moderately sympathetic characters, but not these ones. Cindy and the soldiers come into the movie with about 40 minutes left, falling somewhere in between too early and too late to make a real impact and create drama.

Thankfully, Remains does have the appropriate amount of violence and gore that is required in a zombie movie. The movie doesn't reach Romero-style violence, but it's enough to keep you entertained. The makeup on the zombies look good, though I did have multiple problems with how the zombies acted. I know they just used a lot of extras as their zombies, but there was too much variety in how they moved. Some ran, some staggered and then sprinted, and some even moved like chimps. One zombie even barked at another to get him away from a corpse. BARKED! Eventually the zombies start eating each other. Again, that's a new one. If that's the case, why not just wait the zombies out in hopes they kill each other? And since when do zombies sleep?! It does help separate the movie from other zombie films, that's too much for me. I'm a traditionalist when it comes to zombies and sleeping is just unacceptable, especially when the survivors still can't escape when the zombies are asleep.

Who ordered the extra pepperoni pizza face?

Remains is a fairly unremarkable zombie movie. I have never read the comic book, so perhaps the story is laid out in a better way, but on the screen it's standard and mundane. There were plenty of options for creativity setting the story in Reno, but it never really comes up. Why not kill a zombie with a roulette wheel or shove a slot machine on top of one? The acting is fine considering the lack of star power. There is a decent amount of violence and some gore which was more than I expected coming from Chiller. I didn't like some of the changes made to zombies as they are unnecessary and silly. Zombies are usually in the “if it ain't broke, don't fix it” category and this is a good example of why. There are worse zombie movies out there, but there are also far better ones.

4.5/10

Day 228: Shocker

Shocker

It's electric, boogie-woogie-woogie!

Do horror and comedy ever truly mix well? I'm hard-pressed to find a movie that fits both genres well. The closest I can think of are spoofs of well-known horror movies such as Repossessed and the Scary Movie series. Those movies are really just comedies with some horror tropes and references, so I suppose they don't really count. The character of Freddy Kruger is funny throughout the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, but they are certainly not comedic in nature. Scream had it's funny moments, but they were more self-aware clever remarks than straight comedy. Comedy is a science, needing the right amount of wit, timing, and delivery. Horror is broad with lots of variables that can make a movie disturbing or scary. For whatever reason, the two genres are like water and oil, but that doesn't stop people from trying to mash them together.

Shocker is a 1989 horror comedy written and directed by Wes Craven (Scream, The Last House On The Left). The movie stars Peter Berg (Cop Land, Fire In The Sky) as Jonathan Parker and Mitch Pileggi (The X-Files, Sons of Anarchy) as Horace Pinker. A series of brutal murders has gripped a small California suburb with no clues as to who is committing the crimes. Jon Parker is a college football player who has a strange dream-like vision of a bald man murdering his mother, brother, and sister. He see's the man's van outside the house, revealing he is a TV repair man named Horace Pinker. Jon tries to stop the killer by when he lunges at him, he awakens in bed with his girlfriend, Allison (Camille Cooper). When he returns home, Jon discovers that his family has in fact been murdered. His father, Lt. Don Parker (Michael Murphy, X:Men:The Last Stand, Batman Returns) had been working on the serial killer cases, and the killer murdered his family when he got too close. The police go to arrest him, but he escapes, and kills Allison. Jon uses his strange connection to Pinker to help his father and the police force find him again. Pinker kills a few police officers before being arrested and given the electric chair. Before dying, Pinker reveals that he is Jonathan's biological father and that, as a child, Jonathan shot him in the leg to stop him from murdering his mother. Pinker also reveals that he sold his soul to the devil and when the switch is flipped, Pinker becomes pure energy. His new powers allow him to travel through electricity as well and possess people. Pinker, through other people, tries to kill Jonathan through various means, murdering his friends along the way. How will Jonathan be able to stop this supernatural serial killer who can become anyone at any time?

Being executed by the state is a laugh riot. Well, at least in Texas

I really wasn't sure if Shocker was supposed to be a comedy or not because it is simply not funny. It tries some slapstick with Jonathan running into the goalpost during football practice and tries to have funny one-liners ala Freddy Krueger. Both fail miserably. If the movie wanted to be a comedy, it should have focused on that because the horror is not much better. The basic premise of the story is fine with Jonathan having a supernatural connection to a supernatural killer. Unfortunately, the execution of the events in the movie is so clunky that nothing really makes sense. Nothing is ever really explained with things getting progressively weirder. Why are the police so inept? Why does Jonathan continue to run head-long into danger? How is Jonathan able to have the weird visions of both Pinker and his dead girlfriend? Pinker can now jump from person to person, even though he's supposed to be made of energy? And he can now jump out of televisions? What? How? Why? When? It's amazing that this was written by Wes Craven who has a long track record of great horror movies. It's like he took 10 ideas for different movies, threw them in a blender, and then spit it out onto the screen while giving everyone the finger.

While the movie lacks in humor and logic, it does have a good amount of violence. It has lots of gun play, stabbings, and a few explosions. There is nothing particularly gory about the violence, which is surprising considering it's a movie about a supernatural serial killer. The acting throughout is very questionable. Both Peter Berg and Mitch Pileggi have had long careers in show business, so it's not like they didn't know how to act. I chalk up their bad performances to terribly written dialogue and poor direction. Pinker's lines mostly revolve around horrendous one-liners and and curse words. Jonathan spends most of the movie running and looking shocked, but in the last 10 minutes or so, he is all sorts of confident in knowing how to fight Pinker. The special effects used in the movie are decent for the time, but many scenes are obviously in front of a blue screen. The movie is entrenched in the 80's, complete with it's own theme song performed by Paul Stanley from Kiss with members of Def Leppard, Whitesnake, Van Halen, and Motley Crue. It also had an unintentionally funny cover of Alice Cooper's “No More Mr. Nice Guy” performed by Megadeth.

Comedy!

Shocker has very little in the way of comedy and the horror portion of the movie is poorly done. There is nothing particularly funny in the movie, and if there was, I completely missed it. The story is all over the place, leaving logic and reason by the wayside in favor of 80's special effects and chase scenes. It's amazing that Wes Craven was at the helm of this movie and downright shocking (sorry, couldn't help it) that he actually believed this movie would be the start of a series. The dialogue is horrendous and the acting is pretty bad. If you're looking for something to laugh at instead of laugh with, Shocker is your movie.

3/10

Day 190: 13B

13B

The views are great, but the rent will kill you

Part of the fun of doing 365 Days of Horror is to watch horror movies that I have been meaning to see for a long time, but just haven't found the time. The other part is discovering new movies that I may not know about. With unknown movies also comes foreign horror movies. The United States and Japan have been the biggest exporters of horror, but other countries are starting to catch up. I have reviewed horror from South Korea, Italy, and Norway. Now how about a movie from a country better known for their musical numbers and bright costumes than horror. I'm talking about India.

13B (originally known as Yavarum Nalam, with a slightly different cast) is a 2009 Indian horror film. There are two versions, one in Tamil and one in Hindi. The movie stars R.Madhaven as Manohar, an upper-middle class man who has just spent his life savings moving his entire family into a new condominium numbered 13B. Little things go wrong in the apartment, such as curdling milk and Manohar's cell phone taking warped pictures, but they are mostly ignored. The women in the house love their serial soap operas and become hooked on a new show called Sab Khairiyat (Everyone Is Well, or Everything's Fine depending on which version you watch). The show is eerily similair to Manohar's family, down to the same number/gender of family members. As the show unfolds, Manohar realizes that the show is mirroring and even predicting his life. As bad things occur in the show, such as the main character's wife having a miscarriage, so do does Manohar's wife Priya have a miscarriage. He receives help from his friend Shiva, a police officer, in trying to unravel what is going on. Manohar visits the television station that broadcasts the show, but the show being filmed under the same name is completely different. He discovers a photo album that was buried outside the condominium containing pictures of the family acting in the show. With Shiva's help, Manohar discovers that the family had been brutally massacred with a hammer and their mentally handicapped brother had been arrested. They seek the help of Dr. Shinde, the same doctor that saved Manohar's mother. Shinde believes in ghosts and the spiritual world and tries to help him out. Manohar witnesses the next episode of the serial, showing a man carrying a hammer. The man is revealed to be Manohar himself. What does this all mean and what will happen to his family?

Just because you have a haunted house doesn't mean you should wear a pink shirt

I don't know much about Indian cinema beyond Bollywood movies. They are certainly different from what Westerners are used to, but they have a certain fun charm that we seriously lack. The fun part about watching foreign horror is to see all the cultural differences. In 13B, there is focus on the apartment's prayer room, where pictures mysteriously cannot be hung. That is not a common thing in American homes, but I was still able to pick up on it's importance. The movie doesn't go too in-depth with cultural information or rituals, so I never felt lost or out of place. One thing I did find funny was that the characters spoke in Hindi, but occasionally American slang or entire sentences in English would be uttered by the actors. I know this is common, but it's still funny to hear. There are two music numbers in the movie and one during the credits. From their perspective, they probably fit perfectly, but from an American perspective, they are a little out of place. There were no extravagant dance scenes, so I should be thankful.

What 13B lacks in scares it more than makes up for in suspense. Much like the soap operas it is poking fun at, 13B has many cliff hangers, keeping the audience at the edge of our seats. The mystery of the condominium is solid and kept me interested throughout the 2 plus hour run-time. The movie has good social commentary on our love of television. Some Americans may think that we do not get obsessed with silly television, but just look at garbage like Jersey Shore or Real Housewives of Whatever. The people involved with those shows have no talent, but they're all celebrities because people watch their terrible “reality” shows. I did get a laugh out of the serial's title and it's theme music, repeatedly saying “Everything's fine.” It was a clever touch. The acting is good and while there is little in the way of action, it still has thrills and twists. The movie's premise and story would fit in well with The Twilight Zone.

Happy birthday!

It's refreshing to see a different country put out a quality horror movie. 13B is told in it's own voice without catering to Western horror movies. It has loads of suspense, aided by good acting and solid horror music. It has a few jolts, but it isn't very scary. The story, while not completely original, is creative enough to keep things interesting with it's old-school horror feel. I wouldn't be surprised if 13B gets remade for an American audience in the near future. It would be a good fit. Well, maybe not the singing and dancing.

7.5/10

Day 149: Videodrome

Videodrome

Betamaxdrome was a complete failure

The 80's were a crazy time. The Cold War was still raging, Ronald Reagan was convincing people that greed was good, and cable television began to reach a bigger audience. It seems almost quaint now, but back then, not everyone had 500 channels, computers, and cell phones. Getting cable television was a big deal with specialized programming and movie channels such as HBO. There has always been, and still is, a concern that television will corrupt the youth and will cause them to do all sorts of horrible things. Video games like Grand Theft Auto and music, particularly heavy metal and it's subgenres, get their share of the blame as well, but TV is still the big culprit. Too much violence and sex, they say. It'll rot your brain, they say. It will make you hallucinate and turn you into an assassin. What, they don't say that?

Videdrome is a 1983 Canadian horror movie written and directed by David Cronenberg (The Fly, Scanners) and starring James Woods (Any Given Sunday, Vampires) as Max Renn. Max is the president of a sleazy television station, Channel 83, CIVIC-TV. The channel specializes in sex and violence and Max is looking for the next big thing. He meets with Harlan, the station's satellite pirate who comes across a television feed supposedly from Malaysia that shows people being tortured on a show called Videodrome. He defends himself on a talk show panel across from radio host Nicki Brand (Deborah Harry) and philosopher/television televangelist, Professor Brian O'Blivion. Max begins to see Nicki who, it turns out, is into sado-masochism and is turned on by watching Videodrome. Harlan informs Max that the video feed of Videodrome is actually coming from Pittsburgh, exciting Max with the possibility of acquiring the show for his channel. Nicki tells Max that she is visiting Pittsburgh and, despite his wishes, is going to audition to be on Videodrome. Max contacts Masha, a softcore pornographer, to find out what she can about Videodrome. She discovers that the show is not scripted and is in fact real, and the face of a new philosophy and political movement. She tells Max to speak with Brian O'Blivion to learn more of what Videodrome really is all about. At the Cathode Ray Mission, Max speaks with O'Blivion's daughter, Bianca, who informs Max that her father only speaks to people through video tape and never in person. He later receives a tape from O'Blivion explaining that Videodrome is actually the beginnings of a war to control the minds of the masses. Max begins to have very real and very disturbing hallucinations, including a scar on his stomach suddenly opening up as a gaping wound and a pulsating, throbbing television. He learns from Bianca that these hallucinations are due to a tumor in his brain cause by a malicious broadcast the emanates from Videodrome. Max is contacted by Videodrome's producer and the head of Spectacular Optical Corp, Barry Convex who has been secretly working with Harlan to expose Max to the broadcast, in order to brainwash him and gain control of his station, thus unleashing Videodrome onto the world. Under Convex's influence, Max becomes an assassin, killing his partners at the station. Will he be able to to break free and stop Convex from taking over the world, one television screen at a time.

"I knew I shouldn't have eaten Arby's."

This movie may be one of the craziest things I've ever seen and I mean that in a good way. It is so far out there that I'm not even sure what else to compare it to. Some have described it as “techno-surrealist” and “cyber-violent” but it all adds up to a wild horror/conspiracy movie that keeps the audience glued to the screen for the entire movie. The audience is sucked in to the mystery of what and who is behind Videodrome and is right beside Max when everything goes down. I was concerned that this would be a torture-heavy movie (I don't need to see someone brutalized. I watch these movies to be entertained), but thankfully it's only a small part of the movie and really just serves as a catalyst. There is a good amount of violence and plenty of scary moments. The makeup and effects are impressive and would only be ruined in the CGI era.

David Cronenberg does an excellent job in the director's chair, really capturing the bizarre nature of the entire story. I don't say that lightly because I fucking hated another one of his movies, A History of Violence. FUCKING HATED with the fury of a thousand suns being hit by a thousand nuclear bombs. Seriously, fuck that movie. Regardless, Cronenberg is masterful in Videodrome. James Woods, despite being a dick in real life from what I've heard, is really convincing as Max Renn. The other real star of the movie is the music; a mixture of creepy, steady synth along with a small string section. It fits perfectly with the entire feel of the movie and adds to the overall horror. 

It's rude to point

Videodrome is weird, bizarre, and disturbing, but for all the right reasons. There is a good amount of social commentary, which is an element that brings the movie to a whole new level. There is lots of action and a fun conspiracy combined with great effects and solid music. The directing and acting is spot on, fitting well with such a different story. Videodrome is not for everyone, and certainly not for little kids. It's worth going out of your way to see it, but make sure you buckle in for a strange ride. Long live the new flesh.

8.5/10