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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Day 283: Rocktober Blood

Rocktober Blood
I wanna rock!

Don't you find yourself thinking “Man, there really needs to be a movie about a heavy metal singer going around and murdering people”? Yeah, me neither, but that's the cocaine-fueled 1980's for you. The late 70's and early 80's saw a glut of slasher movies that quickly bled the genre dry. There's only so many holiday-related horror movies you can do, so the slashers began to branch out into other pop culture scenarios at the time. We have slashers movies set around aerobics, malls, small towns, colleges and all sorts of other places. Thanks to the rise of MTV and the international attention of the New Wave Of British Heavy Metal, it was only a matter of time before a slasher movie got it's bloody mitts on this setting. Does it make sense? No, but it happened anyway.

(Today's review goes out to my friend Danny. We watched this movie several years ago on VHS and still quote it to this day. Be sure to check out his great wedding photos here:

Rocktober Blood is a 1984 B-movie slasher starring Donna Scoggins as Lynn Starling and Tray Loren (Gatorbait II, American Angels: Baptism Of Blood) as heavy metal singer Billy “Eye” Harper. After a recording session with the band, Lynn stays behind to work on some of her backing vocals. After a few unsuccessful attempts, Lynn goes upstairs to rest in a jacuzzi. At the same time, Billy returns to the studio and kills the engineer and his assistant. He tries to kill Lynn, but is stopped by security guards. We skip ahead two years later and Billy has been executed for the murders while Lynn has become the singer for his band, now named Headmistress. The band is about to embark on their “Rocktober Blood” tour when a man, claiming to be the deceased Billy Eye, begins stalking Lynn. He looks and sounds just like Billy and knows all about Lynn. It was Lynn who identified Billy in court and he is now back for revenge. She flees to a house in the wood but Billy pursues, killing her friends along the way and hiding the bodies so no one will believe her. Will Lynn survive long enough to play her debut show and is Billy really back from the dead?

 Nothing says "metal" like a tropical paradise and a perm

Rocktober Blood easily falls into the “so bad, it's good category”. While the concept is a little strange for a horror movie, it's actually the best thing about Rocktober Blood. The music is really good, sort of a mixture between Judas Priest, Mercyful Fate, and Joan Jett. A real metal band named Sorcery put together the music, which was probably the best decision the filmmakers could have made. In a ridiculous movie like this, at least they didn't skimp on the music. The band has an entertaining stage show, similar to Iron Maiden and Alice Cooper. Of course, the rest of the movie is the epitome of terrible. The story is absurdly bare-bones with little in the way of thought, character development, and general believability. Why is the tour called "Rocktober Blood"? Because drugs, that's why. For the movie's plot to work, the police would have to completely and utterly ignore literally everything they learned in police academy. Little things like facts and evidence hold no sway over the movie. What, was Billy completely alone every time a murder was committed, thus allowing no one to give him an alibi? No one else knew that (spoiler alert) Billy had a twin brother? Not his band, not the police, not his parents? No one noticed him actually killing people on stage?

Uh, I think you may need to explain what happened in the past 2 years

The acting is horrendous, ranging from oak to birch on the wooden scale. You'll find yourself laughing as actors flatly recite lines that were probably written on a cocktail napkin. The final fifteen minutes of the movie is just the concert itself, ending with one of the most ridiculous movie deaths ever. The film quality is terrible as multiple scenes are too dark and dialogue is too quite. I don't think the film every made it to DVD, or if it did it was a direct rip from VHS. Despite being a slasher, there isn't as much gore as you'd expect in a movie like this. Other than one beheading, I can't recall a lot of blood in the movie. In typical slasher fashion, there are a few scenes of unnecessary nudity. The movie does manage to give the villain a few good evil lines and I'm surprised bands haven't taken advantage of it.

Insane Clown Posse: The Beginning

Rocktober Blood is the offspring of too many drugs and not enough ideas. The acting is terrible and the story would make an English professor weep. Common sense is thrown out the window as even the most basic of evidence is completely ignored in order to further the story. There are some good kills, but not as much as you'd think for a slasher in the 80's. There are a few good one-liners and you'll find yourself saying “Rainbow eyes” for no apparent reason. The music in the movie is it's one saving grace, thanks to the real heavy metal band Sorcery. Rocktober Blood is best watched with a group of friends ready to laugh. It's so bad, it's good.


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