Day 360: Black Christmas

Black Christmas

I'm dreaming of a Black Christmas

Merry Christmas to those celebrating and Merry Tuesday to those who are not. Hopefully you're spending time with your loved ones or at least people you can tolerate, having fun and eating good food. If you're working, at least you're getting bonus money while reading a blog about horror movies. That's a win in anyone's book. Since today is Christmas, I had no shortage in horror movies to choose from. As I expressed in my review of “Rare Exports”, there are a lot of Christmas horror movies. While holidays like Passover and Columbus Day are frequently ignored by the horror world. Christmas gets all the love. Granted, a lot of the movies are just slashers with someone dressed up like Santa. Creativity only goes so far for some people. The only way to properly celebrate this day is to watch one of the very first slasher films. Before Freddy, before Jason, before Michael Myers, there was Black Christmas.

Black Christmas is a 1974 holiday slasher film written by A. Roy Moore and directed by Bob Clark (Porky's, A Christmas Story). The movie stars Olivia Hussey (Romeo and Juliet, Virus) as sorority girl Jess Bradford and John Saxon (A Nightmare On Elm Street, Enter The Dragon) as Lt. Kenneth Fuller. During a Christmas party at the Pi Kappa Sigma sorority house, an unknown man climbs up a trellis and sneaks into the attic. Jess receives an obscene phone call from a man the girls have dubbed “the moaner”. The calls have been going on for some time and have gone mostly ignored until tonight. An inebriated Barb Coard (Margot Kidder, Superman, The Amityville Horror) begins to provoke the moaner which causes him to utter “I'm going to kill you!” before hanging up. Another sorority sister, Claire Harrison (Lynne Griffin, Strange Brew, True Identity), goes to her room to pack for a trip and is attacked by the man who snuck into the house and asphyxiated with a plastic sheet. He carries her body to the attic and places her in a rocking chair with a doll in her lap. The next day, Claire's father comes to pick her up only to find her missing. A campus wide search begins to find Claire along with a 13 year old girl that was reported missing. Meanwhile, Jess meets with her boyfriend pianist Peter (Keir Dullea, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Good Shepard) who is preparing for an important audition. She informs Peter that she is pregnant and is getting an abortion. Peter is upset by her decision and ends up failing his audition. Back at the sorority house, Mrs. MacHenry, the house mother, is murdered by the killer who hangs her in the attic with a crane hook. The search party finds the body of the missing girl in the park, so Jess, Barb, and fellow sister Phyllis return to the house and receive more disturbing phone calls. Lt. Fuller puts a “bug” in the phone so the police can listen to the calls and trace them. Peter comes to the house and argues with Jess about the abortion. Soon, another call comes in mimicking the conversation she had with Peter. The police are able to trace the calls and discover that they are actually coming from inside the house. Who is the killer and will the girls be able to survive?

"No, my refrigerator wasn't running. Thanks for the tip!"

Being one of the first of anything allows you enormous amounts of freedom to do what you want. You are not hindered by previous ideas or expectations. This freedom allowed Black Christmas to be incredibly creative and extremely influential on future horror films. Up until Black Christmas, most horror movies were fairly straight forward with a strong hero and a clear, decisive ending. This movie gives us neither, which makes it truly disturbing. While Jess is considered the heroine, she spends most of the movie being harassed, by both her boyfriend and the killer. Even at the end, she is still shown as utterly vulnerable. While there is an ending, the movie does not have a true conclusion. We never see the fully killer or learn why he is there. We only have his disjointed, terrifying phone calls which come in different voices and tones. There's occasional talk about a baby and the line "Agnes? It's me, Billy." is repeatedly, though what it means is never clear. Later slashers focused on silent killers, but there is something truly scary about the incoherent rambling of the killer in Black Christmas.

From the very beginning of the movie, we see the film's creativity, shooting from the killer's perspective. Nowadays, that's fairly common, but in 1974, it was new and daring. What makes these shots so interesting is that they are done so in a disorienting way. The camera is uneven and wobbly with a semi-fish-eye lens, showing that the killer as unstable. There is plenty of suspense throughout the movie as we, the audience, know that the killer is in the house, but the girls don't. Added to the suspense is a dark, creeping atmosphere the never lightens, even at the end. There is some good violence and a decent amount of blood spread through out. While the movie is influential for a lot of good things that horror movies do today, it also had a bad influence in my mind: inept police and characters who ignore common sense. While I don't think either of these were intentional, most of the events in the movie would not have occurred if the police were not terrible at their jobs and the girls weren't completely oblivious. From the very beginning, the police do multiple things wrong and leave the girls in a lot of danger. Even the very ending is capable because of a complete failure to a) do a through check of the house and b) stay with the one surviving witness. The willful ignorance of the girls are also frustrating. Jess is told that the killer is inside the house and to just walk out. What does she do? She screams for her sorority sisters and then goes upstairs. Come on, if the police told you a murderer was in your house, would you make as much noise as possible and go wandering around? These things don't hurt the viewing experience, but it is fairly aggravating.

He must have seen mommy kissing Santa Claus

Black Christmas is a fun and creative horror movie that really set the standard for all future slashers. It's basis comes from real-life murders in Quebec which help give credence to the plot. It's funny how many horror movies involved prank or obscene calls, a plot device that is now moot thanks to Caller ID and cell phones. The acting is good and the direction is really solid. It's funny to think that the director behind such wholesome movies as A Christmas Story and Baby Geniuses also directed such a dark and disturbing movie. I really like that we never see the killer or learn his motives and the ending is quite unsettling. The obscene phone calls are also very uncomfortable and make the movie that much more frightening. There are some good kills and a decent amount of blood in the movie along with a few laughs. Black Christmas's influence can still be seen today in horror movies, an incredible accomplishment for a Canadian horror movie that received mixed reviews. Merry Christmas and Merry Tuesday to all and to all a terrifying night.

8/10

Day 344: The Bleeding House

The Bleeding House

House Party 5

“Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.” Blanche DuBois' famous line from A Streetcar Named Desire is still commonly referenced over 60 years later. It's funny to think about because in today's society, we are explicitly taught to never speak to strangers, never pick up hitchhikers, and to never let a stranger into your house. Kids today even have “stranger danger” yells. I'm not saying it's wrong, it's just the way things are. As we've seen from many horror movies, that hitchhiker wants to wear your skin as a coat and that stranger at your front door wants to eat your face. Despite this knowledge, some people (and movies) never learn.

The Bleeding House is a 2011 horror movie staring Alexandra Chando (The Lying Game, As The World Turns) as Gloria Smith and Patrick Breen (Galaxy Quest, Whole Day Down) as Nick. In a rundown home in small town America, the bizarre Gloria lives in a constant state of tension with her family. Her father Matt (Richard Bekins, One Life To Live, Limitless) is desperately trying to get his job back with a law firm while her mother Marilyn (Law & Order, Margaret) tries to maintain some sense of order and family. Gloria's older brother Quentin (Charlie Hewson, Awake, White Collar) is considering leaving home with his secret girlfriend Lynne (Nina Lisandrello, Beauty and the Beast, Nurse Jackie). A violent tragedy befell the family in the past which caused them to fall apart and be shunned from the town, but it is unclear at first. One night, a stranger named Nick arrives at the door asking if he can stay the night since his car broke down. At first, they refuse, but after some though, Marilyn allows him to stay. He is a soft-spoken Southern gentleman who manages to charm the family. He notices the tension between Gloria and her mother and believes that both he and Gloria are very similar. The tension between mother and daughter boils over when a bird that Gloria had been keeping escapes from it's box. When Marilyn asks her to hand over the bird, Gloria kills it and leaves. While she is gone, Nick reveals his true nature, knocking out both parents and hooking them up to a strange machine. The machine starts to drain the blood from Matt as Nick begins to question Marilyn about the violent incident. Marilyn says that she was having an affair with another man and accidentally started a fire in his house, killing his family. Nick reveals that he has been traveling do different towns, dispensing a type of religious justice to those who have sinned. Quentin and Lynne home and Nick slits his throat while Lynne and Gloria escape towards town. They are picked up by police and brought back to the house where Nick kills both policemen. What does Nick have planned for Gloria and was Marilyn's confession just a cover for something more sinister?

"Life is pain. Take me to Hot Topic."

The Bleeding House isn't your typical horror movie. It manages to be completely focused on the story it wants to tell while remaining rather directionless in purpose. It starts out relatively interesting with the broken family and the seemingly-pleasant stranger. Even when the killing began, I remained interested in what was happening, but the story became muddled and confused when questions began to receive answers. It was never entirely clear just why Nick was at their house specifically other than something about going into town and hearing people speak badly about the family. So, what, does he just go around the country waiting to hear people shit talk families that have done something wrong? We're supposed to believe he's a methodical professional serial killer, but we seen him make plenty of mistakes, leaving his finger prints everywhere, and having trouble killing a teenage girl. Granted, we learn that she's just as bad as he is, but it's a bit too much to believe. There are too many twists and turns and most fail to surprise. When Gloria's true nature is revealed, it left me with a feeling of “So what?” It makes it incredibly hard to cheer for her and hope she survives when all is revealed. Combine that with her relatively unlikable family and I end up cheering for Nick instead. Her character's secret was very similar to the daughter in the Kevin Costner's film “Mr. Brooks” which came out 4 years prior to The Bleeding House.

If there's one thing that the movie does right, it's atmosphere. The movie has a constant uncomfortable and eerie atmosphere to it that helps increase interest when the story fails to do so. There are a few jolts and maybe a scare or two, but not much. Like I said, it's not your typical horror movie. I was half-expecting Nick to be some sort of demon or vengeful spirit or something deeper than just a guy going from town to town killing people. I figured the title of the movie might mean that the house itself would bleed. That would have been much cooler. In terms of blood, yes there is a lot of it, but not in the way you expect. Nick drains Matt and Marilyn, filling up jugs with their blood. There's also some typical slashing and stabbing, but there's not much gore coming from those scenes. Patrick Breen is good in his charming, but murderous role. Alexandra Chando spends most of the movie with her hair in her eyes, looking angsty and weird. The dialogue in the movie feels very self-serving as every line tries to be deep and important, but fails to stick. It feels like writer/director Philip Gelatt was writing with one hand and fondling himself with the other, mumbling “I'm so great. I'm so great.”

"I must have a case of the vapors!"

The Bleeding House starts with a moderately decent mystery that eventually leads to nothing. The story itself is rather pedestrian and reminds me of “Mr. Brooks” which is not good because that movie was terrible. The acting is decent, but I am not a fan of the verbal masturbation that is the dialogue. There's violence and plenty of blood, but the movie isn't really a slasher. There's a serious lack of excitement, even during the more active scenes. Nick's motivation for killing is somewhat unclear and it's hard to believe he hasn't been caught yet considering all of his mistakes. I wasn't really expecting a lot from The Bleeding House, but I was expecting more than what I got. The lesson in The Bleeding House is to never let strangers in and never let your child be a murderous psycho. The end.

4.5/10

Day 335: A Nightmare On Elm Street

A Nightmare On Elm Street

I hope that's just sweat in the bed

When I was young, I was scared of Freddy Kruger. I mean, he's get the messed-up face, the glove with blades on the fingers, and a horrific cackle. What kid wouldn't be afraid of that? The Freddy Kruger character was revolutionary for horror films. Up until he came out, most slasher villains were unstoppable hulking monsters, hacking and slashing their way through a group of unsuspecting teens. Freddy is different, though, frequently speaking and even toying with his victims. He also went after people with a purpose rather than a random group of people. But what separated Freddy the most was how he killed you; in your dreams. I have previously reviewed the remake to A Nightmare On Elm Street, but I thought I should give the original it's due.

And give Johnny Depp's hair it's due too

A Nightmare On Elm Street is a 1984 slasher film written and directed by Wes Craven (Scream, Last House On The Left). The movie stars Robert Englund (Urban Legend, Wishmaster) as serial killer Freddy Krueger and Heather Langenkamp (Growing Pains, Just The Ten Of Us) as Nancy Thompson. Both Nancy and her friend Tina Gray (Amanda Wyss, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Silverado) have intense nightmares about a man with razor-sharp knives on his hand chasing them. Tina even wakes up with slashes through her nightgown, but her mother blows it off as her having long fingernails. The next night, the girls go over to Nancy's boyfriend Glen's (Johnny Depp, Pirates Of The Caribbean, Edward Scissorhands) house. Tina's boyfriend Rod also shows up and they sleep together while Nancy and Glen sleep in separate rooms. Tina has another nightmare where she is once again stalked by the hideous figure. In her dream, he finally catches her while in reality, her body begins to levitate around the room and slam into the walls. She calls out the name “Freddy Krueger” before dying. Rod is the only person in the room when Tina is called, and is taken to jail for her murder. While at school, Nancy has another nightmare about the man who taunts her as he stalks. That night she asks Glen to stay awake while she sleeps just in case she looks like she's in trouble. Through her dream, Nancy sees the man go into Rod's jail cell and kill him, making it look like a suicide. Glenn falls asleep and Nancy is almost killed. Terrified of her dreams, Nancy goes to a sleep clinic to be evaluated. She has another dream of the man and is actually able to pull the fedora he wears out of her dream and into reality. Nancy's mother reveals that Freddy Krueger was a child murderer who escaped imprisonment due to a technicality. The enraged parents took the law into their own hands and killed Krueger by fire. Somehow, Krueger has risen from beyond the grave and is now killing the children of the town through their dreams. How will Nancy be able to stop something that isn't even real?

It's the Silly Puddy Killer!

A Nightmare On Elm Street is a special horror movie because it took a popular genre of horror and injected it with new life. It is something completely different from what had been done prior while still being true to the basic tenants of slashers. Like other slashers, the victims are helpless teens and two are killed after having sex. Typical slasher movie with an atypical twist. Rather than just having a faceless, speechless monster as the villain, A Nightmare On Elm Street employs Freddy Krueger. Krueger loves to speak, taunting his victims and playing with their minds. We also see his face for extended periods, something not too common in slashers, even if it is disfigured. Ultimately, the roll works because Robert Englund is just that good. He captures the sinister evil of the character while still showing a deranged flair for his “work”. Other slasher icons like Jason and Michael Myers kill because that is what they do. There is no real purpose, people just happen to get in their way. Freddy kills with a purpose, making the kids pay for the sins of their fathers, so to speak.

Paging Dr. Freud

The movie manages to blur the line between reality and dreams which make the shocks more shocking and the scares scarier. Craven does a good job of never allowing the audience to know just what is real and what is dream. The various kills in the movie are incredibly entertaining in their creativity and variation. With the large amount of violence comes an even larger amount of blood. One scene can accurately be described as a “blood geiser”. Craven captures both the violence and the horror very well, never shying away from either. Krueger is still scary before he became watered down in subsequent sequels, cracking wise and spouting bad puns. Heather Langenkamp is very good as a believable heroine. It's also fun to see a young Johnny Depp before he became life partners with Tim Burton.

"Gimme five!"

A Nightmare On Elm Street is highly imaginative and creative when slasher movies were just about out of gas. It's a smart horror film that doesn't require the audience do dumb themselves down in order to enjoy. There is a good amount of fear and suspense throughout the movie thanks to Craven's solid writing, good pacing, and competent direction. Robert Englund is fantastic as Freddy Krueger giving the character a sadistic glee to his murderous intent. There is a wide variety and creativity in the kills doled out by Krueger, keeping the movie from lapsing into a generic slasher. A Nightmare On Elm Street is well-made and incredibly fun. It's no wonder it's considered a classic.

9.5/10

Day 332: Club Dread

Club Dread

Totally worth the risk

I really enjoy the work of comedy group Broken Lizard. You know them from their movies “Super Troopers” and “Beerfest”. They manage to use a good mixture of sophomoric and clever humor, something easier said than done. Usually, comedy movies go for one or the other. For every dick and fart joke, there's a well-crafted joke that requires some thinking. While the movies may be fun, they're not exactly heavy on plot or story. Both Super Troopers and Beerfest are straight comedy movies, so they can get away with it. What happens, though, when Broken Lizard tries to make a horror movie?

Club Dread is a 2004 comedy slasher movie staring the comedy group Broken Lizard and Bill Paxton (Tombstone, Big Love) as aging rocker Coconut Pete. Pete has created an secluded island paradise where guests are encouraged to get drunk and have sex as much as possible. Lars (Kevin Heffernan, Farva from Super Troopers) is the island's new masseur and immediately hits it off with aerobics instructor Jenny (Brittany Daniel, Joe Dirt, Skyline). They are unaware that a masked murderer has just killed three of their co-workers in the jungle and now stalks the island. The next day, the slashed body of worker Cliff is found inside a human Pac-Man maze. All communication to the mainland is cut off and their boats have been sunk. A message warns the staff that only they are being targeted. They try to continue on as if everything is normal, but the bodies begin to pile up. It is discovered that one of Coconut Pete's songs is being used as a map to kill people. Paranoia begins to spread as everyone is a suspect: Dive instructor Juan (Steve Lemme, Mac from Super Troopers), tennis instructor Putman (Jay Chandrasekhar, Ram from Super Troopers), Pete's nephew Dave (Paul Soter, Foster from Super Troopers), and “party police” Sam (Erik Stolhanske, Rabbit from Super Troopers). Even Lars and Jenny become suspects. Juan fears that the killer may also be Penelope (Jordan Ladd, Never Been Kissed, Grace) a particularly strange guest who is infatuated with him. Will Lars and Jenny be able to uncover and stop the killer before it's too late?

"Get the Windex!"

Balancing comedy and horror is never easy. Usually, comedic horror movies just go straight for the comedy and just have an outline of horror. The Scary Movie series comes to mind. If you focus on comedy too much, the horror will suffer and if you focus on horror too much, the movie isn't very funny. Club Dread focuses more on comedy, but doesn't ignore horror. Like Super Troopers and Beerfest, the comedy in Club Dread is a mixture of good timing, clever one-liners, and goofy humor. There are genuinely funny moments throughout the film which caused some legitimate belly laughs. Because the movie has to focus on horror, some of the jokes are hit and miss in the laughs department. There's nothing eye-roll worthy, but some jokes do fall a little flat. Out of the three Broken Lizard movies, Club Dread is probably the least funny, but that's because the other two are so good.

In terms of actual horror, the story isn't half bad. It's your typical slasher movie with a good dose of mystery. Director Jay Chandrasekhar mixes the genres well enough so that nothing feels out of place. The comedic acting is good throughout and even non-comedic actors like Bill Paxton and Brittany Daniel get some good laughs. Having Kevin Heffernan as the hero was an interesting choice considering how great he was as the ridiculous Rod Farva from Super Troopers. The connection between Jenny and Lars seems a little odd when looking at the two, but both actors managed to make it at least passably believable. The action is decent, but for a slasher, there is very little in the way of blood and gore. In true slasher fashion, the killer is very hard to dispose of to the point of absurdity. I know it was done for comedic effect, but I felt it hurt the horror portion of the movie. Again, it's a difficult balancing act. 

Who wants to play "Human Torch"?

Mixing comedy and horror is not impossible, but it's certainly difficult. The comedy was never a concern for Club Dread, but the horror was. Some of the jokes don't work, but overall, it's still a funny movie. The horror is fairly mediocre and there is a serious lack of blood and gore for a slasher movie. The mystery is interesting enough to keep the audience engaged, though the movie did feel longer than it really was. I applaud Broken Lizard for getting out of their comfort zone and creating a movie in a difficult genre. If you're looking for laughs, Club Dread definitely has them. If you're looking for good horror, you may feel a little disappointed.

6/10

Day 327: Thankskilling

Thankskilling

Let's talk turkey

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Even if you're not an American, Happy Thanksgiving. As is Thanksgiving tradition, today we post on Facebook about what we're supposedly thankful for and then take part in the American tradition of eating too much. This is followed by going to stores and trampling people to buy a flat-screen television for $20 cheaper. If I'm thankful for anything, it's that I have loyal readers that enjoy reading my reviews. If it wasn't for you, I would have stopped doing this a long time ago.

There are plenty of holiday-related horror movies that have come out over the years. We have Halloween, April Fool's Day, Black Christmas, My Bloody Valentine, New Year's Evil, and Easter Bunny Kill! Kill!. Soon, we're going to have to make movies about smaller holidays like Arbor Day, President's Day, and Flag Day. The one major holiday missing from the list is Thanksgiving. The holiday itself doesn't seem to lend much to a horror story. It's not a religious holiday and is spent mostly eating and watching football. Terrifying to a select few, but it's not a lot to work with. When the double feature-length movie Grindhouse hit theaters, it included previews of other fake horror movies such as "Machete" and "Don't". One of those previews was Eli Roth's "Thanksgiving". That was the closest thing we had for a Thanksgiving horror movie until a few kids took some initiative and made their own Thanksgiving-themed horror movie.

Lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllladies

Thankskilling is a 2009 independent horror movie written, produced and directed by Jordan Downey and Kevin Stewart. A group of five friends head home from college on their Thanksgiving break when they run into car trouble. The group includes Johnny the jock, Kristen the good girl, Darren the nerd, Billy the redneck, and Ali the slut. They decide to camp out for the night and Darren tells them the story of a killer turkey, creatively named Turkie. During the first Thanksgiving, a powerful Native American shaman created the murderous, filthy-mouthed Turkie to kill any white people in it's path during the time around Thanksgiving. Kristen thinks she sees Turkie in the woods, but the rest of the group laugh her off. Turkie, is in fact in the woods and kills the dog of a vagrant named Oscar The Hermit. Oscar swears revenge and tries to track down Turkie. As the group makes their way home, Turkie follows by hijacking a car. He kills Johnny's parents and (sigh) has sex with Ali before snapping her neck. He then kills Kristen's father and wears his face as a mask. The group makes it to Kristen's house where they are unable to see through Turkie's disguise as they look for a book that may help defeat the evil bird. Will they be able to stop Turkie before it's too late?

The creators of Thankskilling dub their movie "the ultimate low budget experience" and boy are they not lying. The movie was made on a shoestring budget of about $3,500 plus a small investment from a distribution company. I can't fault the movie for having little money to work with and I truly do applaud two young filmmakers for having fun and created the film they wanted to make. What I can fault them for is making an unfunny movie. I'm sure this will chap a few asses from the chattering internet-class, but I barely laughed throughout the entire movies. A few chuckles here and there, but nothing really stood out to me as being genuinely hysterical. Some will claim that the movie has a "so bad it's good quality" and sure, I can see that, but I don't agree with it. Turkie itself is just a cheap demented-looking plastic puppet. I wasn't expecting anything special and they delivered. The 12 year-old in me still finds cursing funny, but their comes a point when Turkie just says filthy words just because. It gets old and forced very quickly. Some of the jokes are non sequiturs or have no segways, as if they come out of nowhere. For every half-funny joke, there are about 15 that are not funny at all.

I almost feel bad criticizing the movie, like calling double-dribble on your dog during a game of basketball. I can look past the nonsensical story, I mean, fine a talking turkey that kills people. I've seen crazier things. For all it's ridiculousness, the plot doesn't bother me. The story itself doesn't make much sense and their are some forehead-slapping scenes throughout. I couldn't believe they actually showed the turkey puppet raping Ali. It wasn't funny and really made me dislike the entire movie. To my surprise, the acting is actually passable for such a low-budget film and the direction is fine. There is plenty of violence and blood with a few good kills here and there. As far as horror villains go, Turkie isn't that bad. He's a remorseless killing machine with a sick sense of humor. I suppose it's better than a non-talking killer turkey.

This picture broke my brain

Thankskilling would fit in perfectly with the Troma family of insane movies like Poultrygeist, Dumpster Baby, and Butt Crack. It's cheap and ridiculous which is perfect for some people. Not me, though. I found a lot of the jokes unfunny and sophomoric. Maybe surrounded by drunk friends making fun of it would have made it more enjoyable, but that wasn't the case. What I'm thankful for is that the movie was only about an hour long. The killings are decent and there is a good amount of blood. The jokes aren't too funny and the turkey rape-scene still bothers me. I thought the necrophilia scene in Masters of Horror: Haeckel's Tale was bad, but this may equal it. If you're looking for something crass and full of nonsense, you may actually enjoy Thankskilling. Beyond that, what can I tell you? It's a movie about a killer turkey puppet. What do you expect?

2.5/10

Day 305: Halloween

Halloween

Who wants pumpkin pie?

C'mon, like I was going to review any other movie on Halloween. Sex In The City did cross my mind, but even I can't handle that type of unspeakable horror. While not the first in the slasher genre (Both Black Christmas and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre predate it), Halloween propelled the idea to the next level, spawning countless knock-offs, remakes, and sequels. It also helped make John Carpenter a household name in the world of horror. While Halloween was not intended to be a franchise based on Michael Myers, the character proved to be so popular that when the third Halloween had nothing to do with the killer, audiences reacted negatively. Rather than randomly picking a movie out of the franchise and possibly suffering through the one with Busta Rhymes, I figured it's best to start at the beginning.

Halloween is a 1978 slasher horror film written and directed by John Carpenter (They Live, The Thing). The movie stars Jamie Lee Curtis (Trading Places, True Lies) as teenager Laurie Strode and Donald Pleasance (Escape From New York, Prince Of Darkness) as Dr. Sam Loomis. On October 31, 1963 in Haddonfield, Illinois, a young boy named Michael Myers brutally murders his sister with a butcher knife. Michael is sent to Smith's Grove Sanitarium where he is placed under the care of Dr. Loomis. For almost fifteen years, Michael remains in an almost catatonic state, showing no emotion and never speaking. The night before Halloween, Michael escapes the sanitarium and Dr. Loomis desperately tries to track him down, believing he will head back to his childhood home. The next day, high school student Laurie Strode continuously has the feeling that she is being watched and followed. She is unaware that Michael Myers is the one stalking her. That night, Laurie babysits a young boy named Tommy Doyle (Brian Andrews, Halloween II, The Great Santini) while her friend Annie (Nancy Kyes, Assault On Precinct 13, The Fog) babysits a young girl named Lindsay Wallace. Tommy is constantly afraid that the boogeyman is going to get him, but Laurie reassures him that there is no boogeyman. Dr. Loomis combs the streets with the local sheriff, searching in vein for Michael, who is going around the neighborhood killing people. Annie goes to see a boy and drops Lindsay off with Laurie, but is soon murdered by Michael. Will Dr. Loomis be able to stop Michael in time before he gets to Laurie and the kids?

It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a JESUS, LOOK AT THAT KNIFE!

This is the movie that started it all for slashers and it did so on the strength of it's story, not with a big budget or fancy effects. Made for around $325,000, Halloween manages to be scary and thrilling without the use of gimmicks. Carpenter weaves a story that is entirely realistic which helps give the movie a scary credibility. Setting the events in the suburbs and in people's homes brings the fear straight to the audience. The atmosphere is dark without drifting off into fantasy. The music is probably one of the most lasting parts of the movie. Everyone knows the classic theme music, but it's the simple 2-note piano throughout the film the truly creates tension. We know something is going to happen, just not what or when or where. The movie has a good amount of action with some fun and unique kills. There is a decent amount of blood, but nothing compared to today's movies. There are some truly great scenes like when Laurie continuously finds bodies in the house and when she fights Michael at the end.

The character of Michael Myers is the manifestation of all our fears. He is unstoppable in his singular goal of murder. There is no reasoning with him, no pleading for your life. He does not speak and his featureless mask (a modified Captain Kirk mask) allows the audience to project whatever they want onto the killer. Carpenter does a great job of drawing the audience in at the beginning and then paying off when it comes to the action. Jamie Lee Curtis is very good in her role and comes off as a believable heroine at the end. The movie does run into a little bit of trouble with the “annoying kid” factor, but so much is going on that it's easy to ignore. Donald Pleasance is great as Dr. Loomis, exuding an air of urgency while still remaining level-headed. It's his steely resolve that makes his mission seem all the more important. If he was frantic and terrified, it would have made the movie cartoonish and silly. Thanks to Carpenter's writing, the characters are all believable and enjoyable to root for.

Paper beats rock, gun beats giant butcher knife

While it wasn't the first slasher, Halloween may be one of the most important horror movies. It is proof that you don't need a big budget to make a lot of money and have an impact on future generations. The story is highly enjoyable and treats the audience as equals. Donald Pleasance and Jamie Lee Curtis are both very good in their roles and help make the movie more complete. The action is solid and the kills are fun to watch. The movie has the right kind of atmosphere, thanks largely to the great, simple music. While a little tame compared to today's standards, Halloween still has a lot of frights and a genuine feeling of horror. Once you're done trick or treating and partying, turn off the lights, curl up on the couch and watch the horror classic.

10/10

Day 303: Terror Train

Terror Train

“If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again”

I hope all of you are safe and sound if you're dealing with Hurricane Sandy. If you're not, I hope you're having a lovely day, possibly watching cartoons and eating tacos. Either way, stay safe and hopefully the power stays on so I can keep posting my reviews. During the height of the slasher boom of the late 70's and early 80's, horror movies were forced to get a little creative. I mean, not too creative, it was the 80's after all. There's only so many movies you can make based at a summer camp or in a house. We have slashers set in high schools, college, malls, aerobics gyms, boats, and, of course, trains. Well, at least this movie has Jamie Lee Curtis in it.

Terror Train is a 1980 slasher starring Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween, Trading Places) as college student Alana Maxwell. During her freshman year, Alana played a prank on awkward fraternity pledge Kenny Hampson (Derek McKinnon, Family Motel, Breaking All The Rules), making him think she wanted to have sex with him. Instead, he finds a woman's corpse inside their bed and is so scarred by the incident that he is committed to a psychiatric hospital. Three years later, Alana and the frat members who arranged the prank are taking a having a costume party on a moving train. As the train moves through the snowy wilderness, an unknown killer moves throughout the cabins, killing everyone involved with the fateful prank. Alana thinks something is amiss, but bodies keep getting moved. The train conductor Carne (Ben Johnson, The Wild Bunch, The Getaway) tries in vain to track down the murderer while keeping the party goers unaware of what is happening. The killer continuously switches costumes, making him difficult to capture. Will Alana survive and just who is the killer?

"I'm sorry about the "train of thought" pun!"

Terror Train is your run-of-the-mill slasher movie. You pretty much know exactly what is going to happen, but it's OK, because you know what you're getting into. Beyond taking place on a train, the movie doesn't offer much in the way of creativity. The train setting does give a small sense of claustrophobia that other slashers lack. It takes away the option for the characters to just “run away”. There are some good long hallway shots and the special lighting in the train. I do also like that the killer continuously switches costume, adding a bit of shock and surprise to certain scenes. Unfortunately, the movie goes to the well a few too many times and the music swells and jumps become tiresome. Terror Train spends a large amount of time focusing on both Carne and a magician that is performing on the train. The movie is almost unsure if Carne should be the hero or not, never fully committing to the character. The magician is a misdirect, but still gets way too much screen time.

For being a slasher in the early 1980's, the movie has a surprising lack of blood and gore. The kills are nothing special and there doesn't appear to be a central weapon used either. While over the top gore and blood isn't necessary for a slasher, it's odd that the movie decided not to go all out like similar slashers. When you take away the fun violence, you're just left with a mediocre train mystery. Jamie Lee Curtis plays her role well and has far more emotion than in Prom Night. The rest of the cast is fine and the direction is good enough to keep the movie going. The movie includes a lot of different characters, which is great for upping the kill count, but it's hard to keep track of who is who. It also cuts down on the attachment level and the audience no longer cares since they have interest in who is being killed. 

Hey, it's 80's era Mick Jagger, complete with bloody cocaine-nose!

Terror Train does have it's place in the slasher heyday of the late 70's and early 80's, but is ultimately a second-tier movie. It lays out like most other slashers with just a change in location. The acting is fine and it's always fun to see Jamie Lee Curtis in a slasher film before she really hit it big. Probably the biggest disappointment with the movie is the lack of blood and gore. It would have made the movie much more interesting than it was. Terror Train isn't a bad movie, it's just nothing special. If you've seen a slasher movie before, you've pretty much seen Terror Train. It's nice for a nostalgic factor and good to mark off on your checklist, but don't expect to be blown away.

5/10

Day 297: Urban Legend

Urban Legend

Stop me if you've heard this one before

We've all heard a few urban legends. There are classics like the guy waking up in a bathtub full of ice with his kidney missing. Then there's story of the escaped convict with a hook for a hand terrorizing a parked car in the woods. And who could forget the girl who said “Bloody Mary” while looking into a mirror. These stories have their variations, but the main points stay the same and get passed on from person to person, town to town. Everyone knows someone who knows someone that swears the story is true. Even to this day, I still check the back seat of my car to make sure there's no one back there. That's just being safe and totally not at all paranoid. Since these stories are widespread and well-known it seems like a no-brainer that they would be the basis for a teen slasher flick. That doesn't mean they'll be good, though.

Urban Legend is a 1998 slasher movie starring Alicia Witt (88 Minutes, Four Rooms) as Natalie Simon and Jared Leto (Panic Room, Requiem For A Dream) as Paul Gardner. The movie beings with a Pendleton University student named Michelle Mancini stopping at a gas station. The gas attendant (Brad Douriff, Child's Play, Deadwood) tells her that her credit card company is on the phone, but when she picks it up, no one is there and the attendant locks the door. Afraid, she breaks a window and drives away, unaware that the attendant was just trying to warn her that someone was hiding in her back seat. Michelle is then killed by the hooded figure in the car. At Pendleton, Natalie and her friend Brenda (Rebecca Gayheart, Jawbreaker, Scream 2) listen to their friend Parker (Michael Rosenbaum, Smallville, Batman Beyond) discuss various urban legends. Paul, the school reporter, laughs off Parker's stories. The girls, along with Parker and his friend Damon (Joshua Jackson, Dawson's Creek, The Mighty Ducks), attend a class on urban legends taught by Professor William Wexler (Robert Englund, Friday The 13^th, Inkubus). When Natalie hears of Michelle's death, she is shaken and Damon offers to take her to somewhere private so they can talk. When he exists the car, Damon is attacked by the same hooded figure who killed Michelle. When Natalie hears pounding on the hood of the car, she drives away, unaware that Damon is hanging from a tree. By driving away, she pulls the rope, which was connected to the car by the killer, thereby hoisting Damon high in the air. Soon, people close to Natalie start dying in mysterious ways, eerily similar to various urban legends. Who is behind the murders and what do they have to do with Natalie?

The pale and the restless

The mid to late 1990's were full of slasher flicks geared towards the younger crowd. The most obvious were Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and Final Destination, with Urban Legend bringing up the rear. The movie feels like a patchwork of other teen slashers from the same time period and could easily be mistaken for one of them. Essentially, it's pretty white people with flawless skin being attacked by a hooded figure. Despite having a huge cast of popular actors at the time (seriously, we have Jared Leto, Joshua Jackson, Michael Rosenbaum, Rebecca Gayheart, and Tara Reid all in the same movie), the movie has little else going for it. The initial idea of having a series of murders based around various urban legends is fun, but only if you're reading a Batman comic book. It's the type of idea that a 14 year old would come up with and then promptly forget by the time something good comes on TV. Set in the real world, the idea is convoluted and unnecessary, especially when we find out why the killer is committing the murders. The rest of the story is a strictly by-the-book slasher fest, giving us plenty of forgettable characters just to kill them off. I will give the movie credit for cramming in a whole lot of urban legends, including some I had never heard before. Of course, by doing so, the movie felt crowded and rushed at times.

The movie isn't excruciatingly bad or anything, it's just not very good. It's certainly watchable and if you've never seen a slasher movie, you might actually enjoy it. It has the usual music swells and jump at you moments that we've come to expect. The acting is fine for what is required. Rebecca Gayheart puts in a scene-chewing performance worthy of Tommy Lee Jones in Batman Forever and I mean that in the best way possible. It's highly entertaining and it's a shame it only comes at the end. The movie also includes horror veterans Robert Englund and Brad Douriff (Chucky from Child's Play), but only uses them briefly. If you have two great horror actors in your movie, wouldn't you want to use them as much as possible? There is a decent amount of violence in the movie and some blood, but nothing too over-the-top or gory.

"Ah! That jacket is so out of style!"

Urban Legends is a boiler-plate slasher film with only a gimmick that separates it from similar films. Logic and reason is thrown out the window in an effort to include various means of killing people through urban legends. It keeps things interesting, but requires the audience to not think. The violence is decent and the acting is good enough to keep things moving. The soundtrack for the movie is probably the best part, including music from Stabbing Westward, Monster Magnet, Ministry, and Motorhead. There have been a few sequels, but apparently they are far worse than the original. If you're feeling nostalgic, Urban Legend is fun to watch while wearing Jncos and drinking a Surge cola. It's your standard slasher and there are far better ones out there.

4/10

Day 291: Sleepaway Camp

Sleepaway Camp

Yeah, stabbing a shoe makes complete sense

The term “cult classic” is given to many horror movies, perhaps more than any other genre of film. It's important to remember that just because a movie is a cult classic, that doesn't mean that it is classic. It's cult for a reason. Sometimes it's because the movie is obscure or too strange or eccentric for the mainstream. Other times it's because the movie is utterly terrible and people like to laugh at it. Then there are those few films that gain cult status due to one or two memorable scenes. These scenes are so shocking that just uttering the name of the movie will cause be to go, “Oh, that's the movie where...”. Sleepaway Camp is one of those movies.

Sleepaway Camp is a 1983 slasher horror movie starring Felissa Rose (Return To Sleepaway Camp, Satan's Playground) as Angela Baker. Angela's father and brother Peter, were killed in a boating accident and she was sent to live with her eccentric aunt and cousin, Ricky (Jonathan Tiersten, Return To Sleepaway Camp, The Perfect House). After the accident, Angela has become introverted and rarely speaks. Ricky and Angela are sent to Camp Arawak for the summer. Due to her shy nature, Angela is bullied by some of the campers and her counselor, Meg. Ricky tries to protect Angela and actually saves her from the head cook Artie who tries to molest her. While Artie is boiling water, and unseen person knocks him off a chair, sending boiling water all over his body. The teasing continues and Ricky, along with his friend Paul, get into a fight with some other boys. Angela begins to open up to Paul and a relationship slowly starts to build between the two. Meg continues to torment Angela, asking why she refuses to shower with the other girls and why she never goes swimming. At the same time, the body count beings to rise around camp, although they all appear to be accidents. Mel, who runs the camp, suspects that it's Ricky behind all the “accidents” and is determined to catch him. Who is really behind the murders and is Angela really who she says she is?

"I left the oven on! My pies will burn!"

This movie came out during the slasher heyday of the early 1980's, but it's general concept was nothing new. By 1983, we already had multiple “youth at a camp” slashers including the far-more popular Friday The 13^th, The Burning, and Madman. I will give Sleepaway Camp credit in focusing more on the actual campers than the counselors, which does make the killings more disturbing. This would have been a great chance for the movie to really separate itself from the “camp site” slasher pack, but unfortunately, nothing of real interest occurs. It's not that the movie directly ripped-off previous slashers, it's just kind of lazy. The kills are actually creative and fun to watch, but when Sleepaway Camp focuses on anything else, the movie comes to a grinding halt. We get that Angela is bullied, we don't need to see it for an hour. Her relationship with Paul is barely-there and just serves to get to the shock ending. The acting is pretty bad and some of the character's motivations are questionable.

Now, I normally don't like to give away major twists, but I feel it's necessary to discuss in order to properly review the movie. While most know what it is, if you've never seen Sleepaway Camp, I suggest you skip over this paragraph. Needless to say, SPOILER ALERT. The big twist ending is that Angela is in fact, Peter, who we previously thought was killed in the boating accident. For whatever reason, her aunt decided to raise her as a girl. Other than being nuts, there's no real reason given as to why she did this and why Angela went along with it. I guess we can chalk it up to being traumatized, but come on. While that information is fairly surprising, it's how we learn that Angela is actually a boy: a full-frontal naked shot of a blood-covered Angela, penis and all. To top that all off, the final scene has a naked Angela with an insane look on her face that lasts an unnaturally long time. Seriously, look at that picture below. Keep looking at it for at least 15 seconds. That's the end of the movie which was incredibly unsettling. Weird and pointless, but unsettling. The twist is quite shocking, though it doesn't really add that much to the story itself. Why does Angela go on a killing spree now? Has she killed anyone before? Why bother exposing herself now after hiding for so long? I don't know, I'm probably thinking too much on a movie who's main purpose is to shock the audience by showing a wang.

"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Welcome back, those of you who wanted to keep the ending a secret. Sleepaway Camp is a fairly mundane slasher film with a real mediocre story. There are a lot of holes in the story and the poor acting is hard to ignore. You're better off watching several other “camp site” horror movies. There are some interesting kills, though the movie lacked the blood and gore that was prevalent in other slashers from the same time. The movie has gained cult status thanks to it's truly shocking ending, having been immortalized in multiple songs and even parodied in the stop-motion show Robot Chicken. Just because something is cult status doesn't mean it's good. There's no real need to see the entire movie since the last 5 minutes are the only interesting and disturbing part.

4/10

Day 289: Maniac Cop

Maniac Cop

At least Maniac Cop has a sense of humor

The 1980's were a special time. A B-level actor was president for 8 years, Madonna and Michael Jackson had not yet become complete freaks, and the slasher craze ballooned and then popped. Every writer, director, and studio wanted to have the next Friday The 13^th or Halloween. Every holiday got their own slasher film. Almost every profession had a slasher movie whether it was a janitor or a teacher or a doctor. By the time the late 80's rolled around, the genre had already run it's course, and had settled back to a more even level in terms of volume and quality. One also included a young Bruce Campbell.

Maniac Cop is a 1988 slasher starring Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead, My Name Is Bruce) as NYPD Officer Jack Forrest and Tom Atkins (The Fog, Creepshow) as Detective Frank McCrae. A man in a police officers uniform begins killing civilians in brutal fashion, sending the city into a panic. Detective McCrae begins investigating the case, discovering that the killer is incredibly strong. Jack Forrest is a young officer that constantly works the night shift. Jack has a strained relationship with his wife Ellen, who suspects that he might actually be the cop behind all the murders. One night, she follows him to a seedy hotel only to find him in bed with Theresa Mallory (Laurene Landon, Airplane II, The Ambulance) a fellow police officer. Ellen pulls a gun on Jack, but leaves the hotel in a hurry. She is murdered by the maniac cop and Jack is taken into custody. Things don't add up and McCrae continues the investigation, leading him to a former police officer Matt Cordell (Robert Z'Dar, Tango & Cash, The Summoned). Cordell was a hero police officer, known for shooting first and asking questions later. When he started going after the mob, Mayor Killium (Ken Lerner, Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Series, The Running Man) set Cordell up and had him sent to prison. In prison, he was viciously stabbed all over his body and was pronounced dead. Jack discovers that Cordell did in fact survive and escaped prisoner, thanks to the help of a female police officer in love with him. Will McCrae and Jack be able to stop this maniac cop form continuing his reign of terror?

"I am the law!"

My initial reason for watching Maniac Cop was because I believed that Bruce Campbell was going to be the villain. Most movies I have seen starring Campbell have portrayed him as the hero and I was a little disappointed that he wasn't the maniac cop. Having a police officer as your killer is certainly different, but unfortunately, the movie does not continue with a trend of originality. They portray Cordell as a nigh-invulnerable killing machine, similar to Jason from Friday The 13^th. We see him shot in the chest several times and Theresa even claims to have shot him in the head twice. There is no reason to explain why this is. Is he magical? Is she just an incredibly terrible shot with horrible eyesight? If they wanted to go the supernatural route, they should have made it clear how this happened and perhaps give him more abilities. If they wanted the story based in reality, just say he had a bullet-proof vest on or something to that effect. The character is stuck somewhere in the middle and just left me confused. I will say that the movie did a great job of hiding the killer's face for almost the entire movie. It allowed the audience to portray whatever image they wanted onto the killer, similar to what John Carpenter did with Michael Myers in Halloween. When they finally showed Cordell's face, it was nothing scary or shocking. They clearly didn't have Tom Savini doing makeup.

There is a decent amount of violence in Maniac Cop with some fun and creative kills. There is some blood, but not much in the way of gore or extreme violence. The problem is that they kind of forget about the slashing in the middle of the film. The movie focuses way too much on the actual investigation instead of the horror. In the beginning we have a few kills and at the end we have a lot. What about the middle? Instead, we get a rather bland and typical cop drama. Tom Atkins is the quintessential police officer, playing one in multiple movies. Bruce Campbell is good in his role, but doesn't get to flash any of his trademark charm and wit. The rest of the cast is fine, but the problem lies with the story, not the production. Nothing unexpected happens and the story runs it's course exactly as how you would expect. 

"Boomstick says what?"

Maniac Cop is a decent slasher in the beginning and end, but is lost in a mediocre mystery for most of the time. The villain had a lot of potential, but the movie doesn't deliver. It's never clear how he is so strong or why bullets don't hurt him. I really would have liked Bruce Campbell in the role because the added personality would have made the movie far more interesting. There are some good scenes of violence, but they're mostly lumped together, leaving long stretches free of killing. Maniac Cop had a lot of potential, but missed too many opportunities. It's still watchable and has a few good moments, but it's nothing special.

6/10

Day 283: Rocktober Blood

Rocktober Blood

I wanna rock!

Don't you find yourself thinking “Man, there really needs to be a movie about a heavy metal singer going around and murdering people”? Yeah, me neither, but that's the cocaine-fueled 1980's for you. The late 70's and early 80's saw a glut of slasher movies that quickly bled the genre dry. There's only so many holiday-related horror movies you can do, so the slashers began to branch out into other pop culture scenarios at the time. We have slashers movies set around aerobics, malls, small towns, colleges and all sorts of other places. Thanks to the rise of MTV and the international attention of the New Wave Of British Heavy Metal, it was only a matter of time before a slasher movie got it's bloody mitts on this setting. Does it make sense? No, but it happened anyway.

(Today's review goes out to my friend Danny. We watched this movie several years ago on VHS and still quote it to this day. Be sure to check out his great wedding photos here: www.danielaweddings.info)

Rocktober Blood is a 1984 B-movie slasher starring Donna Scoggins as Lynn Starling and Tray Loren (Gatorbait II, American Angels: Baptism Of Blood) as heavy metal singer Billy “Eye” Harper. After a recording session with the band, Lynn stays behind to work on some of her backing vocals. After a few unsuccessful attempts, Lynn goes upstairs to rest in a jacuzzi. At the same time, Billy returns to the studio and kills the engineer and his assistant. He tries to kill Lynn, but is stopped by security guards. We skip ahead two years later and Billy has been executed for the murders while Lynn has become the singer for his band, now named Headmistress. The band is about to embark on their “Rocktober Blood” tour when a man, claiming to be the deceased Billy Eye, begins stalking Lynn. He looks and sounds just like Billy and knows all about Lynn. It was Lynn who identified Billy in court and he is now back for revenge. She flees to a house in the wood but Billy pursues, killing her friends along the way and hiding the bodies so no one will believe her. Will Lynn survive long enough to play her debut show and is Billy really back from the dead?

 Nothing says "metal" like a tropical paradise and a perm

Rocktober Blood easily falls into the “so bad, it's good category”. While the concept is a little strange for a horror movie, it's actually the best thing about Rocktober Blood. The music is really good, sort of a mixture between Judas Priest, Mercyful Fate, and Joan Jett. A real metal band named Sorcery put together the music, which was probably the best decision the filmmakers could have made. In a ridiculous movie like this, at least they didn't skimp on the music. The band has an entertaining stage show, similar to Iron Maiden and Alice Cooper. Of course, the rest of the movie is the epitome of terrible. The story is absurdly bare-bones with little in the way of thought, character development, and general believability. Why is the tour called "Rocktober Blood"? Because drugs, that's why. For the movie's plot to work, the police would have to completely and utterly ignore literally everything they learned in police academy. Little things like facts and evidence hold no sway over the movie. What, was Billy completely alone every time a murder was committed, thus allowing no one to give him an alibi? No one else knew that (spoiler alert) Billy had a twin brother? Not his band, not the police, not his parents? No one noticed him actually killing people on stage?

Uh, I think you may need to explain what happened in the past 2 years

The acting is horrendous, ranging from oak to birch on the wooden scale. You'll find yourself laughing as actors flatly recite lines that were probably written on a cocktail napkin. The final fifteen minutes of the movie is just the concert itself, ending with one of the most ridiculous movie deaths ever. The film quality is terrible as multiple scenes are too dark and dialogue is too quite. I don't think the film every made it to DVD, or if it did it was a direct rip from VHS. Despite being a slasher, there isn't as much gore as you'd expect in a movie like this. Other than one beheading, I can't recall a lot of blood in the movie. In typical slasher fashion, there are a few scenes of unnecessary nudity. The movie does manage to give the villain a few good evil lines and I'm surprised bands haven't taken advantage of it.

Insane Clown Posse: The Beginning

Rocktober Blood is the offspring of too many drugs and not enough ideas. The acting is terrible and the story would make an English professor weep. Common sense is thrown out the window as even the most basic of evidence is completely ignored in order to further the story. There are some good kills, but not as much as you'd think for a slasher in the 80's. There are a few good one-liners and you'll find yourself saying “Rainbow eyes” for no apparent reason. The music in the movie is it's one saving grace, thanks to the real heavy metal band Sorcery. Rocktober Blood is best watched with a group of friends ready to laugh. It's so bad, it's good.

2.5/10

Day 273: Friday The 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan

Friday The 13^th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan

I heart movies that actually take place where they say they do

As I expressed in my review of Resident Evil: Retribution, it becomes increasingly difficult for a movie franchise to stay fresh and entertaining the longer it continues. While the Resident Evil franchise has managed to stay relevant and fun, others have not been so lucky. Friday The 13^th is a prime example of what happens when studios become lazy and crank out a horror movie in hopes of making a quick buck based on villain recognition. Hellraiser has done the same thing, only on a much more franchise-ruining level. When you get to a certain point in a franchise, you're bound to run out of ideas so you just throw the main character into different locations or situations. While I'm still holding out for Friday The 13^th Part 11: Jason's Super Fun Slumber Party, today we'll have to settle for Manhattan.

Friday The 13^th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan is a 1989 slasher movie starring Kane Hodder (Jason X, Hatchet) as Jason Vorhees and Jensen Daggett (The Single Guy, Major League: Back To The Minors) as Rennie Wickham. One year after the events of Friday The 13^th Part 7: The New Blood, a boat's anchor rips through an underwater power cable, reviving the previously defeated Jason Vorhees. The next morning, the senior class of Lakeview High School boards the SS Lazarus and heads to New York City for their graduation. Rennie's uncle, biology teacher Charles McCulloch (Peter Mark Richman, Naked Gun 2 ½, Beverly Hill 90210) chaperones the trip, ensuring that no one causes any trouble.

Unbeknownst to the passengers, Jason has climbed aboard the ship. He kills some of the students and the ship's captain as the boat heads towards New York City. Jason throws one of the students onto the ship's control panel, sparking a fire. Rennie, Charles, the captain's son Sean (Scott Reeves, General Hospital, The Young and the Restless), and a few others are forced to abandon ship, taking a small row boat to New York City. There, Rennie is kidnapped by two thugs and injected with heroin. They attempt to rape her, but Jason, who followed the group to the city, kills them both. Jason than chases Julius, a boxer, to the roof of a building. Julius unloads a flurry of punches to no effect, tiring himself out. Jason throws an uppercut that literally knocks Julius's head off his body. With Jason on the loose in the dangerous city, how will Rennie and her friends survive?

I can make it anywhere!

Full disclosure, I watched this movie because I knew it wasn't going to be good. For those that don't know (or couldn't tell) most of the movie takes place on a boat instead of Manhattan. Time and budgetary constraints forced the majority of the movie to not be shot in New York City. I can understand why you would want to have Jason running around in New York during the 1980's. It was dirty, scary, and dangerous. Times Square wasn't the family destination it is now with Disney Stores and restaurants. By having Jason in New York, you can add a lot more kills to the movie, having him take out thieves and drug dealers, sort of like a horror version of Death Wish. That's the entire point of interest for anyone picking up this movie. Sadly, this is not the case and instead we're forced to sit through Jason Takes A Dingy.

The plot is very, very predictable as by now the series had just become “Let Jason kill lots of people”. By now, we all know who Jason is, but the movie does attempt to talk about his origins. Rennie's weird visions of a young Jason asking for help and her connection to Crystal Lake at least try to make sense of things. On paper it's a half-decent idea, but on screen it's a hot mess. The characters are not predictably interesting and it's tedious having to sit through mindless dialogue with barely-there development. There's some sub plot about Rennie and her uncle, not approving of her life, but it has no relevance other than to kill time until Jason shows up. Another reason why I watched this movie was to see the incredibly ridiculous fight scene on the roof. It is so funny for all the wrong reasons. Take a look for yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQov9F8t4rM. As a former boxer, I have to say that Julius is carrying his left hand way too low and leaves himself open for a counter-punch.

The acting is fine for what's required, but that's not saying much. If you ever wanted to see a young Kelly Hu (X2, The Scorpion King) in her first movie role, this is your chance. There are a variety of creative kills throughout the movie and the audience ends up cheering for Jason by the time he gets to New York. The portrayal of Manhattan is very silly even by 80's standards. If your only knowledge of the island came from this movie, you'd think the city was made up of bums, thieves, steam-spewing pipes, and toxic waste. Yes, I said toxic waste. For whatever reason, there are barrels of toxic waste just hanging out in alleys, just waiting for Jason Vorhees to dunk someone in them. You didn't know that the city flushes toxic waste in their pipes? Well now you do! In the 80's, New York City was grittier and more dangerous than now. The movie, though, makes the city look like a cartoon version of itself. I can only imagine what someone from say Kansas thought of New York if they saw this movie.

This is awkward. We're wearing the same thing!

I knew Friday The 13^th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan was going to be bad and I wasn't disappointed. That's losing while still winning. Most of the movie doesn't take place in New York and when it finally gets there, we're bombarded with one ridiculous scene after another. There is plenty of violence and creativity in the killing, but nothing we haven't come to expect. There isn't much in the way of plot or character development as most of the movie is just a vehicle for Jason to kill people. You can't expect much by the time you've gotten to the eighth of anything, let alone the eighth movie in a horror series. Jason Takes Manhattan is good for a laugh and for some over-the-top violence. Other than that, you're better off with the original.

4/10