Day 346: Dracula: Dead And Loving It

Dracula: Dead And Loving It

His cape is bigger on the inside

I love to laugh and make people laugh. Nothing makes me happier than having a room full of people laugh at a smart, thoughtful, well-timed joke. Some of my favorite funny people include George Carlin, Lewis Black, Patton Oswalt, Demetri Martin, and good friend/former roommate Drew Mayer (follow him at @mayercomedy). My all-time most favorite funnyman, though, has to be Mel Brooks. He always manages to make me laugh, even if it's with a funny look or a goofy voice. His movies have greatly influenced my own sense of humor throughout the years. His combination for smart jokes, slapstick, and visual humor makes for a thoroughly enjoyable watch. You may be wondering why I'm heaping huge praise on a comedian when this is a horror review blog. Well, Mel Brooks is no stranger to horror. His movie Young Frankenstein has become immensely popular over the years and was even made into a Broadway musical. Everyone knows and loves that movie. I'd like to focus on a not-so-beloved Mel Brooks movie featuring another funny man, Leslie Nielsen.

Dracula: Dead And Loving It is a 1995 horror comedy starring Leslie Nielsen (The Naked Gun, Creepshow) as Dracula and Mel Brooks (Blazing Saddles, Robin Hood: Men In Tights) as Abraham van Helsing. The movie spoofs the classic 1931 Dracula film, following the story relatively closely. Solicitor Thomas Renfield (Peter MacNicol, Ghostbusters II, Ally McBeal) travels to Transylvania to meet with Count Dracula to finalize his purchase of Carfax Abbey in England. When he reaches a nearby village, the villagers (Anne Bancroft and Chuck McCann) warn Renfield that Count Dracula is actually a vampire and with the sun setting, they will not take him to the castle. Unconcerned and with a schedule (pronounced “shedule” by Renfield) to keep, Renfield proceeds on foot to Dracula's Castle. Dracula puts Renfield under a hypnotic spell, turning him into a slave that subsists only on bugs. They travel to England and when the boat docks, all the crew have vanished except for Renfield. He is committed to an insane asylum run by Doctor Seward (Harvey Korman, Blazing Saddles, High Anxiety). That night, Dracula visits the opera where he introduces himself to Dr. Seward who happens to be his new neighbor. He also meets Dr. Seward's daughter Mina (Amy Yasbeck, Robin Hood: Men In Tights, The Mask) and her friend Lucy (Lysette Anthony, Krull, The Advocate). That night, Dracula goes to Lucy's room and bites her. The next day, she is inexplicably exhausted and sick, so Dr. Seward calls on Dr. Abraham van Helsing, an expert on obscure diseases. Van Helsing explains that she has been bitten by a vampire and covers her room with garlic. That night, Dracula breaks Renfield out of his asylum to remove the garlic. He is captured and returned to the asylum while Dracula bites Lucy again and turns her into a vampire. Van Helsing and Mina's fiance Jonathan Harker (Steven Weber, Wings, Farm House) kill Lucy with a stake to the heart while Dracula eventually bites Mina. Will Jonathan and van Helsing be able to stop Dracula before it's too late?

I make the same face when I find out the deli is out of knishes

If this movie sounds just like the 1931 Dracula, it's not a coincidence. Other spoofs by Brooks, such as Young Frankenstein and Spaceballs, had managed to create their own stories while poking fun at the originals. Dracula: Dead And Loving It is more faithful to the source material with just a few little asides here and there. It's perfectly fine because the focus of the movie is more to make you laugh than to make you enjoy the story. For those that have seen Dracula, it may be slightly boring to have to sit through a story you already know. The jokes come quickly, with a mixture of physical comedy, word play, clever asides and all the other hallmarks of Mel Brooks' work. There's even the usual sprinkling of Jewish and Yiddish humor which no doubt will leave some gentiles scratching their heads. For those aware of that type of humor, it's highly enjoyable, as always. Still, the jokes are fairly “by the book”. Those accustomed to Brooks' wackiness in movies like History Of The World Part I and Silent Movie may be a little disappointed with Dracula: Dead And Loving It's straightforward nature.

While the story is nothing special and there's no scares to speak of, the performances from the cast help move the film along. Leslie Nielsen is fun and occasionally hammy, but in a good way. Fans of his Naked Gun movies will enjoy him immensely. Mel Brooks is his usual funny self while never hogging the spotlight. Amy Yasbeck is good as well, though I would have liked her to have a bigger role. She was great as Maid Marian, so it's not like she wasn't capable of having a larger role. The same could be said for Steven Weber as Jonathan Harker. Despite being a comedy, there is one scene that contains more blood than many horror movies. When Jonathan kills Lucy, blood literally explodes all over him multiple times. Other than that, there isn't much action of violence to speak of. There are some pratfalls and physical comedy thrown around for good measure just to keep the audience visually stimulated. The sets look OK, but tend to have a fakeness to them that takes away from the overall movie.

"Uhhhhh...she tripped!"

Dracula: Dead And Loving It may not be the best Mel Brooks movie, but it's still very funny. There are many negative reviews out there, but I feel that the movie has gotten better with age. The jokes are still capable of making people laugh which is more than what most new movies can do. I would take this movie over any of those Date Movie, Superhero Movie, Meet The Spartans crapfests. There isn't much story to speak of and if you've seen the 1931 Dracula, you already know what is going to happen. If you need something fun to watch, but still want a touch of traditional horror, Dracula: Dead And Loving It is worth your time.

7.5/10

Day 332: Club Dread

Club Dread

Totally worth the risk

I really enjoy the work of comedy group Broken Lizard. You know them from their movies “Super Troopers” and “Beerfest”. They manage to use a good mixture of sophomoric and clever humor, something easier said than done. Usually, comedy movies go for one or the other. For every dick and fart joke, there's a well-crafted joke that requires some thinking. While the movies may be fun, they're not exactly heavy on plot or story. Both Super Troopers and Beerfest are straight comedy movies, so they can get away with it. What happens, though, when Broken Lizard tries to make a horror movie?

Club Dread is a 2004 comedy slasher movie staring the comedy group Broken Lizard and Bill Paxton (Tombstone, Big Love) as aging rocker Coconut Pete. Pete has created an secluded island paradise where guests are encouraged to get drunk and have sex as much as possible. Lars (Kevin Heffernan, Farva from Super Troopers) is the island's new masseur and immediately hits it off with aerobics instructor Jenny (Brittany Daniel, Joe Dirt, Skyline). They are unaware that a masked murderer has just killed three of their co-workers in the jungle and now stalks the island. The next day, the slashed body of worker Cliff is found inside a human Pac-Man maze. All communication to the mainland is cut off and their boats have been sunk. A message warns the staff that only they are being targeted. They try to continue on as if everything is normal, but the bodies begin to pile up. It is discovered that one of Coconut Pete's songs is being used as a map to kill people. Paranoia begins to spread as everyone is a suspect: Dive instructor Juan (Steve Lemme, Mac from Super Troopers), tennis instructor Putman (Jay Chandrasekhar, Ram from Super Troopers), Pete's nephew Dave (Paul Soter, Foster from Super Troopers), and “party police” Sam (Erik Stolhanske, Rabbit from Super Troopers). Even Lars and Jenny become suspects. Juan fears that the killer may also be Penelope (Jordan Ladd, Never Been Kissed, Grace) a particularly strange guest who is infatuated with him. Will Lars and Jenny be able to uncover and stop the killer before it's too late?

"Get the Windex!"

Balancing comedy and horror is never easy. Usually, comedic horror movies just go straight for the comedy and just have an outline of horror. The Scary Movie series comes to mind. If you focus on comedy too much, the horror will suffer and if you focus on horror too much, the movie isn't very funny. Club Dread focuses more on comedy, but doesn't ignore horror. Like Super Troopers and Beerfest, the comedy in Club Dread is a mixture of good timing, clever one-liners, and goofy humor. There are genuinely funny moments throughout the film which caused some legitimate belly laughs. Because the movie has to focus on horror, some of the jokes are hit and miss in the laughs department. There's nothing eye-roll worthy, but some jokes do fall a little flat. Out of the three Broken Lizard movies, Club Dread is probably the least funny, but that's because the other two are so good.

In terms of actual horror, the story isn't half bad. It's your typical slasher movie with a good dose of mystery. Director Jay Chandrasekhar mixes the genres well enough so that nothing feels out of place. The comedic acting is good throughout and even non-comedic actors like Bill Paxton and Brittany Daniel get some good laughs. Having Kevin Heffernan as the hero was an interesting choice considering how great he was as the ridiculous Rod Farva from Super Troopers. The connection between Jenny and Lars seems a little odd when looking at the two, but both actors managed to make it at least passably believable. The action is decent, but for a slasher, there is very little in the way of blood and gore. In true slasher fashion, the killer is very hard to dispose of to the point of absurdity. I know it was done for comedic effect, but I felt it hurt the horror portion of the movie. Again, it's a difficult balancing act. 

Who wants to play "Human Torch"?

Mixing comedy and horror is not impossible, but it's certainly difficult. The comedy was never a concern for Club Dread, but the horror was. Some of the jokes don't work, but overall, it's still a funny movie. The horror is fairly mediocre and there is a serious lack of blood and gore for a slasher movie. The mystery is interesting enough to keep the audience engaged, though the movie did feel longer than it really was. I applaud Broken Lizard for getting out of their comfort zone and creating a movie in a difficult genre. If you're looking for laughs, Club Dread definitely has them. If you're looking for good horror, you may feel a little disappointed.

6/10

Day 321: Night Of The Creeps

Night Of The Creeps

Aw, I thought this was "Night Of The Crepes"

Everyone loves a good B-movie. We all have a favorite, whether it's Killer Klowns From Outer Space or Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes or Leprechaun In The Hood. There's just something fun about a movie that isn't quite on the same level as something coming from a major studio. It's the lower budgets, the it's the questionable stories, and the the mediocre acting. B-movies take more risks, mostly because they have to. Sometimes we get gems, sometimes we get bombs, and sometimes we get movies that are so bad that they're good. One movie in the 1980's took our love of B-movies and created an homage to the genre by becoming a B-movie itself.

Night Of The Creeps is a 1986 science-fiction zombie movie starring Jason Lively (National Lampoon's European Vacation, Brainstorm) as Chris Romero and Tom Atkins (Creepshow, Maniac Cop) as Detective Ray Cameron. In 1959, an alien aboard a spaceship releases a canister that crashes on Earth. A boy out on a date with his girl comes across the canister just as an escaped mental patient attacks her. Inside the canister is a strange leech-like creature that leaps into his mouth, turning him into a zombie. 28 years later, Chris Romero and his friend James Carpenter “J.C.” Hooper (Steve Marshall, 21 Jump Street, Justice Denied) attend a frat party at Corman University. Chris is smitten with a sorority girl named Cynthia Cronenberg (Jill Whitlow, Twice Dead, Porky's) but is too shy to speak to her. Convinced she'd only be interested in a frat guy, Chris and J.C. Try to pledge with the Phi Omega Gamma. As part of their initiation, both have to bring a cadaver back from a local medical center. Once inside, the boys release a corpse, the boy from 1959, from it's chamber. A doctor catches them and they flee back to their dorm. Detective Ray Cameron, a surly, jaded police officer, investigates and discovers that the corpse is actually missing. The missing body makes it's way to Cynthia's sorority where it's head splits open, releasing the alien leeches. The leeches begin to infect people, turning them into murderous zombies. J.C discovers that fire can kill them, but is soon infected himself. Will Chris be able to stop the zombies and save Cynthia and how does Detective Cameron fit in to the original incident in 1959?

Everyone remembers prom night

This movie sets out to be an homage to B-movies and accomplishes it's goal. It's a silly horror/sci-fi romp with plenty of over-the-top action and snappy one-liners. It's funny watching this movie after seeing Slither because there are some blatant similarities. Alien leeches? Check. Infecting through the mouth? Check. Zombies? Check. Regardless, Night Of The Creeps revels in it's B-movieness as it is full of love for the genre. There are plenty of references throughout, some more obvious than others. A quick look at the list of characters reveals names such as Romero, Carpenter, Cronenberg, Corman, Landis, and Raimi. Certain scenes are reminiscent of other horror movies as well. The difference between this homage to horror movies and, say, Hack!, is that the references aren't thrown in the audience's face. I never felt like I was being bludgeoned over the head with references. The story progresses without having to stop every few minutes to give a nod to another famous horror movie.

We get a decent amount of action throughout the movie and the final battle, complete with Cynthia holding a flamethrower while in her formal dress, is highly entertaining. The zombies look decent, just right for that specific B-movie quality. Tom Atkins, the perennial cop, plays his role unsurprisingly well. He's extra surly, giving snappy, sarcastic answers to stupid questions. Some lines are funny, while a few do fall flat. One scene where he shouts, “It's Miller Time!” is funny for it's initial purpose, but also because it's so dated. It's like seeing a movie ten years from now where some shouts “Just Do It!” Even non-horror aficionados will get some laughs out of the movie, though there's no real gut-busting hilarity. 

He's still having a great hair day, though

Night Of The Creeps is one big love letter to the wonderful world of B-movies. From the characters to the plot, the movie is like an old blanket. It's nothing new and may not impress, but it's still enjoyable nonetheless. The story is decent and gets to the point quickly. The aliens in the beginning are a little funny looking, but they're only around for a minute or too, so it's not a big deal. I guess that's the point, anyway. The movie has it's funny moments, but can feel dates at times. Some jokes do fall flat, but nothing bad enough to send the movie off the rails. The action is good and the zombies have that classic B-movie look to them. Tom Atkins is highly enjoyable as always. While not the best known horror movie from the 80's, Night Of The Creeps is worth searching out.

7.5/10

Day 316: The People Under The Stairs

The People Under The Stairs

I'm more worried about the skull over the roof

The term “master of horror” is thrown around a lot. It's attached to names like George Romero, Dario Argento, Lucio Fulci, John Carpenter, and whoever directed Sex In The City. One person that has almost always received that title is Wes Craven. With a resume including such massive horror movies as A Nightmare On Elm Street, Scream, The Hills Have Eyes, and The Last House On The Left. Craven has also shown a desire to work in a mix horror with comedy, sometimes to mixed results. Movies like Shocker and Vampire In Brooklyn were less than stellar in terms of quality and box office draw. Were they just terrible movies or do people not want to see lighter horror movies?

The People Under The Stairs is a 1991 horror film starring Brandon Adams (The Mighty Ducks, The Sandlot) as Pondexter “Fool” Williams. Fool lives in the slums of Los Angeles with his sick mother. His family are about to be evicted when Leroy (Ving Rhames, Dawn Of The Dead, Pulp Fiction) recruits Fool to help with a robbery. Supposedly, the Robeson house outside of the city contains priceless gold coins. After a failed attempt at getting in the house with Fool dressed as a Boy Scout, Leroy's accomplice Spenser gets in dressed as a utility man. When Spenser doesn't return, both Leroy and Fool break into the house, narrowly escaping a guard dog. The are unaware that this is no normal house and the Robeson's are no normal family. Daddy (Everett McGill, License To Kill, Under Siege 2) and Mommy (Wendy Robie, Twin Peaks, The Glimmer Man) are a deranged, racist incestuous couple who terrorize and abuse their daughter Alice (A.J. Langer, Escape From LA, My So-Called Life). Fool ends up in the cellar where he comes across a group of deformed men. Terrified, he runs back up stairs and finds Leroy. Fool and Leroy discover the house is heavily fortified with unbreakable windows, automatic locks, and electrified door knobs. Daddy shoots and kills Leroy while Fool is able to escape through a labyrinth of tunnels in the house, thanks to Alice. Alice explains that Mommy and Daddy has been kidnapping boys for years and when they disobeyed, they were imprisoned in the cellar, resorting to cannibalism to survive. Will Fool and Alice be able to escape this house of horror?

That's the best tic-tac-toe board ever

On the surface, The People Under The Stairs has a pretty good horror story. A kid, trapped in a house full of homicidal maniacs and cannibals trying to find his way out. It's the movie's execution that takes away a lot of the horror. It's as if Wes Craven saw Home Alone (which came out the year prior) and said “Hey, I want to do that, but with more gore!” While The People Under The Stairs is certainly a horror movie, it's not the horror movie I was expecting. It turns out, the people under the stairs are just abused humans with bad skin. Kind of disappointing. I figured the people under the stairs would play a more prominent role in the movie, but more focus was given on Daddy and Mommy. They are completely deranged, to the point where they can no longer be taken seriously. Seeing Daddy run around the house in a full “gimp” BSDM suit could have been scary and disturbing, but just came off as silly and unexpected. The movie isn't exactly a comedy, but it does have comedic moments, complete with goofy sound effects. The movie still manages to be entertaining, but not in a horror movie sort of way.

The movie has a good amount of action and a surprising amount of gore. If you ever wanted to see Ving Rhames rib cage, this is your chance. The People Under The Stairs goes a different route by having children as the main characters. I feel that making them a little older would have allowed the movie to be more serious in nature and tone. Instead, we get wackiness and nominal scares. The acting is good throughout, with Wendy Robie and Everett McGill putting in the best performances. The house is very cool and you're never sure what is going to happen next. Craven uses many different styles of filming throughout the film, using different angles, extreme close-ups, and sped-up action. The writing occasionally feels like a white person writing for black characters, but it never reaches the level of Mitt Romney saying “Who let the dog's out?” when taking a picture in an urban area. 

"Welcome to the Republican National Committee."

The People Under The Stairs manages to be mostly entertaining even though it favored comedy over horror. I wanted more people under the stairs than what we were given, but Daddy and Mommy were such strong characters that it's a wash. The movie could have been very scary, but it's just too silly thanks to sound effects and over-the-top characters. The acting is very good and the direction is solid. I do have to question the movie using young children instead of teenagers in the main roles. It hobbled the potential for extreme content which would have added to the horror. While the overall themes in the movie are creepy, nothing is particularly scary. If you're looking for something a little different, give The People Under The Stairs a try.

6.5/10

Day 293: Lo

Lo

On the Lo down

Love is a powerful thing. Not powerful enough for me to quote Meat Loaf or Whitesnake, but you get the idea. About 98% of all movies have a love interest and that includes horror movies. Of course, we'd never think of horror and romance mixing together as genres. Horror and comedy is widely accepted, but horror and romance is like water and oil to the majority of movie goers. That's not to say it can't be done and hasn't been done, it's just a very risky venture. You need a good mixture of horror along with the romance for it to work and it doesn't hurt to have an little something extra to keep things moving, like gore, or in today's movie's case, humor.

Lo is a 2009 romance/horror film written and directed by Travis Betz. Justin (Ward Roberts, MANswers, Sick Puppy) reads from a book that looks suspiciously like it is made of skin. He sits inside a pentagram inside his darkened apartment and calls forth a demon named Lo (Jeremiah Birkett, Homeland, Evan Almighty). Justin tells Lo that he has summoned him in order to find his girlfriend April (Sarah Lassez, Mad Cowgirl, The Wicked Within) who was dragged to Hell by a demon. Justin bears an inhuman claw mark on his chest as proof of the struggle. Lo brushes off Justin's demand, citing too many people being in Hell to find her, and begins to refer to him as “Dinner”. Undeterred, Justin orders him to find April and Lo accepts. He asks Justin to describe her and Lo projects the memory on a wall so he could watch as if Justin's memories were a play. April is awkward during their meeting and appears to make up her name on the spot. As the memory ends, Justin meets the demon who captured April, Jeez (Devin Barry, Crashing, Adam & Eve). Jeez tells Justin that he is there simply to see the “mortal who tamed the beast” and to see why “it” when in love with him. Jeez tells Justin, through song, of a demon birthed from the heart of dying soldier. The demon became one of Hell's best killers, but abandoned her post for the love of a human. Justin refuses to believe that April is a demon, but slowly begins to lose his mind the longer he sits in the pentagram. Lo reveals that he had actually helped April escape Hell and his legs were crushed when she was returned. With the powers of Hell against him, will Justin be able to save April and will he even want to knowing that she is actually a demon?

"Ewwww, tuna breath!"

Lo lies on the outer most reaches of the horror genre. True, it has demons in it and is based around the concept of there being a Hell, but you wouldn't compare it to say The Exorcist. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out just how this actually manages to get labeled a horror movie. There isn't any violence or blood in the movie and there are no psychological aspects to it. The movie focuses more on quirky humor, some of which is genuinely funny. Both Jeremiah Birkett and Devin Barry are quite funny and play their roles perfectly. I found Jeez's song entertaining even though it was very out of place and killed any sort of suspense the movie was still grasping. Of course, not all the humor works as we are “treated” to a scene of a bartender doing a goofy dance while making a drink. It's not funny and lasts waaaaaay too long. The makeup used for the demons looks very good, but when you see closeups of Jeez, you can clearly see they didn't completely cover around his eyes. Oops. The movie is an experimental, low-budget indie movie, so it's not like I was expecting Tom Savini-quality work, but that seems like a big mistake.

The story is essentially a take on Faust, with a dash of Orpheus, and the movie makes no bones about that fact. I mean, the story is mentioned in the movie, so it's not a secret. The problem is that the romance between Justin and April feels completely plastic and fake. They are in love because we're told they're in love instead of being shown. The character of April is a little too awkward for my liking and makes their romance that much more unbelievable. The movie doesn't provide good horror, so I was forced to focus on the romance, which wasn't good either. That just left me with the humor. The movie is quite ambitious and I give writer/director Travis Betz credit for creating something fairly unique. The movie was shot in only 3 days and has a creative style and visually different. The movie is laid out like a real play, which is good or bad depending on your personal preference. Some scenes worked very well in this format while others missed the mark.

"This one goes out to all your Hellspawn out there on Lover's Lane."

Lo is a romance wrapped in humor with just a touch of horror. The demons look very good (for the most part) and there are some very funny moments. The movie itself has a unique look that I have never seen before. There isn't a lot to the story and if you're expecting a lot of action or violence, you will be sorely disappointed. If you like Faust, you'll pick up on all the parallels and references. The romance between Justin and April is not believable and it really hurts the rest of the movie. When your romance/horror doesn't contain much horror and not very good romance, what do you have left? Guys making jokes in makeup and costumes.

4.5/10

Day 283: Rocktober Blood

Rocktober Blood

I wanna rock!

Don't you find yourself thinking “Man, there really needs to be a movie about a heavy metal singer going around and murdering people”? Yeah, me neither, but that's the cocaine-fueled 1980's for you. The late 70's and early 80's saw a glut of slasher movies that quickly bled the genre dry. There's only so many holiday-related horror movies you can do, so the slashers began to branch out into other pop culture scenarios at the time. We have slashers movies set around aerobics, malls, small towns, colleges and all sorts of other places. Thanks to the rise of MTV and the international attention of the New Wave Of British Heavy Metal, it was only a matter of time before a slasher movie got it's bloody mitts on this setting. Does it make sense? No, but it happened anyway.

(Today's review goes out to my friend Danny. We watched this movie several years ago on VHS and still quote it to this day. Be sure to check out his great wedding photos here: www.danielaweddings.info)

Rocktober Blood is a 1984 B-movie slasher starring Donna Scoggins as Lynn Starling and Tray Loren (Gatorbait II, American Angels: Baptism Of Blood) as heavy metal singer Billy “Eye” Harper. After a recording session with the band, Lynn stays behind to work on some of her backing vocals. After a few unsuccessful attempts, Lynn goes upstairs to rest in a jacuzzi. At the same time, Billy returns to the studio and kills the engineer and his assistant. He tries to kill Lynn, but is stopped by security guards. We skip ahead two years later and Billy has been executed for the murders while Lynn has become the singer for his band, now named Headmistress. The band is about to embark on their “Rocktober Blood” tour when a man, claiming to be the deceased Billy Eye, begins stalking Lynn. He looks and sounds just like Billy and knows all about Lynn. It was Lynn who identified Billy in court and he is now back for revenge. She flees to a house in the wood but Billy pursues, killing her friends along the way and hiding the bodies so no one will believe her. Will Lynn survive long enough to play her debut show and is Billy really back from the dead?

 Nothing says "metal" like a tropical paradise and a perm

Rocktober Blood easily falls into the “so bad, it's good category”. While the concept is a little strange for a horror movie, it's actually the best thing about Rocktober Blood. The music is really good, sort of a mixture between Judas Priest, Mercyful Fate, and Joan Jett. A real metal band named Sorcery put together the music, which was probably the best decision the filmmakers could have made. In a ridiculous movie like this, at least they didn't skimp on the music. The band has an entertaining stage show, similar to Iron Maiden and Alice Cooper. Of course, the rest of the movie is the epitome of terrible. The story is absurdly bare-bones with little in the way of thought, character development, and general believability. Why is the tour called "Rocktober Blood"? Because drugs, that's why. For the movie's plot to work, the police would have to completely and utterly ignore literally everything they learned in police academy. Little things like facts and evidence hold no sway over the movie. What, was Billy completely alone every time a murder was committed, thus allowing no one to give him an alibi? No one else knew that (spoiler alert) Billy had a twin brother? Not his band, not the police, not his parents? No one noticed him actually killing people on stage?

Uh, I think you may need to explain what happened in the past 2 years

The acting is horrendous, ranging from oak to birch on the wooden scale. You'll find yourself laughing as actors flatly recite lines that were probably written on a cocktail napkin. The final fifteen minutes of the movie is just the concert itself, ending with one of the most ridiculous movie deaths ever. The film quality is terrible as multiple scenes are too dark and dialogue is too quite. I don't think the film every made it to DVD, or if it did it was a direct rip from VHS. Despite being a slasher, there isn't as much gore as you'd expect in a movie like this. Other than one beheading, I can't recall a lot of blood in the movie. In typical slasher fashion, there are a few scenes of unnecessary nudity. The movie does manage to give the villain a few good evil lines and I'm surprised bands haven't taken advantage of it.

Insane Clown Posse: The Beginning

Rocktober Blood is the offspring of too many drugs and not enough ideas. The acting is terrible and the story would make an English professor weep. Common sense is thrown out the window as even the most basic of evidence is completely ignored in order to further the story. There are some good kills, but not as much as you'd think for a slasher in the 80's. There are a few good one-liners and you'll find yourself saying “Rainbow eyes” for no apparent reason. The music in the movie is it's one saving grace, thanks to the real heavy metal band Sorcery. Rocktober Blood is best watched with a group of friends ready to laugh. It's so bad, it's good.

2.5/10

Day 244: Child's Play

Child's Play

Wanna play?

Believe it or not, but I didn't always like horror movies. When I was young, I was actually terrified of scary movies. I specifically remember being scared even when commercials came on for scary movies. Freddy Krueger was very scary with his burnt face and blade-covered hand. There was one other horror icon that scared just as much as Krueger if not more: Chucky. As silly as it sounds now, the thought of a doll coming to life and trying to kill struck a chord with me. I mean, it's an R-rated horror movie sort of geared towards kids. While movies like Toy Story show the fun and lovable side of toys coming to life, Child's Play showed the much darker and scarier side.

Child's Play is a 1988 horror movie starring Brad Dourif (Deadwood, Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers) as serial killer Charles Lee Ray. Charles Lee Ray, also known as “Chucky” and “The Lakeshore Strangler” is being pursued by Detective Mike Norris (Chris Sarandon, The Princess Bride, The Sentinel). Shot by Norris and abandoned by his cohort, Eddie Caputo (Neil Giuntoli, The Shawshank Redemption, Next Of Kin), Chucky breaks into a toy store for cover. Knowing he is about to die, Chucky uses a voodoo ritual to transfer his soul into the plastic body of a “Good Guy” doll. The next day, Karen Barclay (Catherine Hicks, Ryan's Hope, 7^th Heaven) buys a Good Guy doll from a street peddler for her son Andy's birthday. Having to work the night shift, Karen asks her friend Maggie to watch Andy. Andy tells Maggie that his doll told him his name was Chucky and that he wanted to watch the 9 o'clock news. Maggie laughs it off and puts him to bed. Later, she is shocked to find Chucky in front of the television, watching the news. A small figure is seeing toying with Maggie throughout the apartment, eventually hitting her with a hammer and knocking her out a window. Detective Norris speaks with Andy, who is the prime suspect for Maggie's death. Andy insists that Chucky killed Maggie, but no one believes him. The next day, Andy skips school with Chucky and goes to the house of Chucky's former partner, Eddie Caputo. Chucky sneaks into Eddie's house and turns up the gas on his stove, causing it to explode and kill Eddie. The authorities find Andy at the scene and place him in a psychiatric ward for children. Karen is the only one who believes Andy and tries to get Chucky to talk to her. She discovers the doll's batteries had never been used and when she threatens to throw him in the fireplace, Chucky comes to life and attacks her and escapes. Detective Norris is soon attacked by Chucky with a large butcher knife and crashes his car. Norris is able to shoot and injure Chucky, much to the doll's surprise. Chucky visits the man who taught him voodoo and discovers that his transformation is becoming permanent and must find another body. He decides to transfer his soul into Andy's body. Will Karen and Det. Norris be able to stop the killer doll before it's too late?

Becoming a doll was actually an improvement, looks-wise

The killer doll genre is nothing new, but with the Gabage Patch kids craze going on during the 80's, Child's Play struck a current note in the public's eye. Chucky is probably the most famous killer doll in horror thanks to multiple sequels and toy sales. The movie has a good mixture of subtle, “lurking in the shadows” horror and in-your-face slasher horror. Child's Play works so well because, despite being a silly premise, it's treated like a serious horror movie. Sure, it has its over-the-top moments and a fair amount of sick humor, but there is plenty lot of suspense and action to keep things entertaining. The movie reminds me of the “Talking Tina” episode from The Twilight Zone where only the father hears the doll talk about murder. Child's Play uses the same principle of no one believing the doll is alive. We, the audience, know Chucky is alive and are frustrated when the characters don't know. This knowledge allows the movie to play up the fear factor and lead to some good scares. Oringinally, though, the script was more mysterious, stretching out the possibility that Andy is actually the killer. I think that would have been much more interesting to watch with the potential for more scares, but I don't think the movie would have been as fun.

Another factor that helped the movie be entertaining was the acting. Chucky is scary thanks to Brad Dourif, who is no stranger to the horror genre. His style is a mixture of glee and psychotic rage. The movie's usage of a little person to show Chucky in full motion certainly helps him appear more life-like. Both Catherine Hicks and Chris Sarandon play their roles well. My biggest issue with the movie is Andy. Why do all kids in horror movies have to be extremely annoying? On a scale of 1 to 10 on the annoying scale, Andy is an 11. I blame it on a mixture of lazy writing and poor acting. I don't understand why they couldn't just treat him like a normal, if troubled, child. I almost felt like cheering for Chucky to get him just so I wouldn't have to listen to him anymore. The movie has a good amount of blood and violence with a lot of variety. 

Paul Ryan's eyes look exactly the same

Child's Play is a fun horror movie based on a silly premise. It's mixture of horror, action, and off-beat humor created an entertaining experience that spawned a long line of sequels, toys, comic books, and even an appearance in WCW. While the sequels have become a parody of themselves, the original movie was serious enough to be considered a solid movie. The scares are good and there is plenty of violence to go around. Brad Dourif is great, using just his voice to create an iconic horror character. The character of Andy is incredibly annoying, to the point where I didn't really care what happened to him. While not a “thinking man's” horror movie, Child's Play is good fun and highly enjoyable.

8/10

Day 240: Ginger Snaps

Ginger Snaps

What's this all aboot, eh?

It's hard to find a good werewolf movie these days. Sure, you can point to the Lon Chaney Jr. “The Wolfman” or “An American Werewolf In London” as proof that good werewolf movies exist, but those are classics. For every “The Howling” and I can give you ten “Beasts Of Bray Road”. Perhaps werewolf movies are similar to zombie movies in that the great ones are truly great, but it's much easier to just throw some makeup on, splash some blood around, and call it a day. It's far easier to make a bad werewolf movie than a good one. Of course, that doesn't mean good newer werewolf movies don't exist, you just have to look a little harder for them.

Ginger Snaps is a 2000 Canadian werewolf movie starring Emily Perkins (She's The Man, Juno) as Brigitte Fitzgerald and Katharine Isabelle (Freddy vs. Jason, Insomnia) as her sister Ginger. Both girls are social outcasts and obsessed with death, even promising to kill themselves at some point in the future. One day at school, they are overheard making fun of Trina Sinclair (Danielle Hampton) a popular girl at school. Trina takes offense and knocks Brigitte to the ground. Brigitte lands on the bloody remains of a mutilated dog, one of many in town who have been killed by an urban legend named the “Beast of Bailey Downs”. The sisters plan to kidnap Trina's dog one night, but come across another mutilated dog. They are attacked by a large creature and Ginger is dragged off into the woods. Briggit is able to rescue her and they flee into the street where the creature is hit by a van driven by Sam (Kris Lemche, Final Destination 3, My Little Eye), the local drug dealer. Ginger is bitten by the creature and badly hurt, but begins to recover abnormally fast. After a few days, Ginger begins to change, both mentally and physically. She finally gets her period, which appears to be heavier than expected as well as strange hair growing from her wounds. She also becomes more aggressive, forcing a boy at school to have unprotected sex with her. Ginger also starts to grow a tail and fangs. Frightened by Ginger's changes, Brigitte reaches out to Sam to find out what is happening, telling him that she is the one that was bitten. Sam suggests that the creature he hit with his van was a lycanthrope (werewolf). Brigitte pierces Ginger's stomach with a silver ring, but it has no effect. Jason, they boy Ginger had sex with, starts to show signs of lycanthropy as well. Trina goes to the Fitzgerald's house, claiming they took her dog. During a scuffle, she slips and smashes her head on the counter, killing her instantly. The girls bury her in the backyard and Brigitte tries in vain to keep Ginger from going out any more due to her violent behavior. Sam discovers a plant that can reverse the werewolf curse and Brigitte uses it on Jason. With the cure in hand, will Brigitte be able to save Ginger before her transformation is complete?

I've seen uglier people at Canadian Tire

Ginger Snaps is equal parts good horror movie and darkly funny after-school special. There's no question that the movie is a allegory for puberty and high school. It's a pretty sound idea and I'm surprised it hasn't been done more often. The metaphors are pretty transparent, but it's OK because the movie treats the subject with a good deal of dark humor. The sister's mother (Mimi Rogers, Austin Powers, Lost In Space) is delightfully clueless to the entire situation, just trying to do her motherly duties and explain their pubescent changes. Some may find this frustrating, but most will “get” the humor in the parental figures of the movie. Maybe it's because it is a Canadian film, but the movie reminds me a lot of the Canadian school drama, Degrassi. I think the film quality was also similar to that of the aforementioned television show, but it could all just be in my head, thanks to a desire to watch MuchMusic.

The horror is very good, with a slow, but steady build towards Ginger's full transformation into a werewolf. While there is no fantastic transformation scene like in “An American Werewolf In London,” there are enough changes to Ginger to keep things visually interesting. The final incarnation of the Ginger werewolf looks good on a budget. It's not highly-detailed, but far more realistic than a person in a hairy werewolf costume. The film is very much like David Cronenberg's work in this respect. There is a large amount of blood and violence throughout the movie which keeps things fast-paced and entertaining. The movie does wrong a bit too long at almost 110 minutes and the final act drags a bit, but overall the whole story is fun. The ending was actually surprisingly downbeat in comparison to the rest of the movie's tone, but it was still enjoyable.The acting throughout the film is what makes the entire movie come together. Both Emily Perkins and Katharine Isabelle are great in their roles. They have the angsty outcast teenager ideal down well and show good emotion when needed. 

"Ugh. Let's just go to Tim Horton's and watch the Maple Leafs game."

Ginger Snaps is both a great horror movie and a great teenager movie. There is plenty of action and violence with enough blood and gore to keep even the most brutal horror fans happy. I wasn't too happy with all the dead dog shots and references, but I understood no dogs were actually hurt. The effects and makeup used to show Ginger's transformations were good, if simple. Her final werewolf stage looks good and far more realistic than what other werewolf movies try to use. The puberty metaphors are obvious, but still enjoyable thanks to some funny writing and believable performances. Ginger Snaps is highly entertaining and highly recommended.

9/10

Day 236: Bubba Ho-Tep

Bubba Ho-Tep

Don't be cruel

Bruce Campbell is best known for his role as Ash from the Evil Dead/Army of Darkness movies. His role in the USA Network television show Burn Notice has brought Bruce Campbell's brand of wackiness to a wider audience. With a wide array of movies and television appearances, Bruce Campbell has always essentially played “Bruce Campbell” similar to how Tom Cruise always plays “Tom Cruise” in a movie. The situations may change, but you're pretty much getting the same guy in just about every movie. That's OK because Bruce Campbell is so entertaining. Sometimes you forget how good of an actor he actually can be. Today's review is a special request for my dad. If you would like to request a movie for me to review, please leave me a comment or send a tweet to @365DaysofHorror.

Bubba Ho-Tep is a 2002 horror comedy, based on the story by Joe Lansdale, starring Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead, My Name Is Bruce) as Elvis Presley. In the 1970's, Elvis became disillusioned with his fame and wanted a way out. He went down to Texas and met Sebastian Haff, an Elvis impersonator. They agreed to switch places, leaving the real Elvis just enough money to get buy and a contract to switch back if he ever wanted. A barbecue accident led to Elvis's trailer exploding, burning up the contract and any proof that he is the real Elvis Presley. Flash forward to present day, an elderly Elvis is living in an old-age home in eastern Texas. No one believes that he is the real Elvis, save for John F. “Jack” Kennedy (Ossie Davis, Malcolm X, Do The Right Thing) an African-American man who believes that he is the former President. Elvis has very little hope and even less meaning since his ex-wife and daughter don't even know he is there. Residents of the retirement home start to die and one night, Elvis is attacked by a giant scarab. He stabs it with a fork and burns it on an electric heater. The next night, Jack is attacked by a mummy who tries to suck his soul out of his body. Elvis eventually sees the mummy, dubbed Bubba Ho-Tep, and has a strange psychological vision of the mummy's past. All of this mystery and intrigue renews Elvis's interest in life so he and Jack begin investigating. During a museum tour of an Egyptian mummy, thieves stole the bus carrying the artifacts, but crashed it in the river outside the retirement home during a storm. With no one believing who they are or what is going on, it's up to Elvis and Jack to stop Bubba Ho-Tep. Will they be able to survive this soul-sucking monster?

Hell, I'd vote for them

Offbeat and original is probably the best way to describe Bubba Ho-Tep. It is an interesting choice to have an elderly Elvis and an African-American play President Kennedy. By doing so, this allowed the movie to take on a comedic air without resorting to jokes or slapstick. As you can tell, this isn't your typical horror or comedy movie. The horror doesn't pick up until about half-way through the movie, with the first part relying more in introspection and good old-fashioned character development. This extended character development is poignant and quite sad for a horror/comedy movie. The movie does border on depressing at certain points, far more than your average scary movie. The story is balanced by a good amount of comedy, most of which is generally funny. There were a few scenes with workers carrying out dead bodies which were supposed to be funny, but just didn't elicit any laughs. In terms of horror, there are a few flashes of fear, but nothing is particularly scary. If anything, the prospect of dying alone and forgotten in an old-age home is far scarier than any monster. I suppose that's the underlying message of the entire movie, but we could have used some more scares.

The best part about the movie is Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. If you didn't know Bruce Campbell was in this movie, you might actually not know he is playing Elvis. The makeup is good and Bruce is incredibly convincing in his role. After all these years of “Bruce being Bruce,” it's refreshing to see him in an iconic, if unexpected, role. Ossie Davis is great as well, pulling off a good comedic foil to Campbell's Elvis. The action is decent, with the final 15 minutes serving as the main apex. The mummy itself looks good and I actually would have liked to see more of it. Director Don Coscarelli (Phantasm, The Beastmaster) does a good job of capturing Joe Lansdale's story while being able to put it in a believable perspective. Coscarelli captures Elvis's despair very well and even if a soul-sucking mummy wasn't involved, this still would have been a compelling watch. My one complaint with the movie is certain scenes are chopped and sped up. Visually, it's just not pleasing.

Thank you. Thank you, very much.

Bubba Ho-Tep is a fun movie for horror and non-horror fans alike. More emphasis is put on acting and storytelling than action and violence. If you need lots of scares and blood, this movie isn't for you. If you like to think and feel, you'll get a lot of out Bubba Ho-Tep. Bruce Campbell is excellent as Elvis Presley, to the point where you may not even realize it's Bruce Campbell behind the makeup and hair. Ossie Davis is quite good as well, capping off a movie with a sly sense of humor. The horror portion of the movie is decent, but it's not the real focus. Bubba Ho-Tep is a good movie through and through.

8.5/10

Day 235: Class of Nuke 'Em High

Class of Nuke 'Em High

This could easily be a cover for Heavy Metal magazine

Troma Entertainment is an independent film production and distribution company most famous for the Toxic Avenger series of movies. Founded by Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz in 1974, Troma is synonymous with hyper-violent, over-the-top, crude horror movies. While Toxic Avenger managed to break through into the mainstream with a Saturday morning cartoon, toys, and a Nintendo game, most horror fans know Troma for their endless list of gross or insane movies. The people who love Troma love it with a fiery passion. I am not one of those people. Troma gives many independent horror movies a chance to read a wider audience. To paraphrase the Al Pacino movie 'And Just for All', “In theory, what this company is doing is highly commendable, but in practice it sucks.” For every enjoyable Troma movie, there are about 50 that are borderline unwatchable. Two of the worst movies I've ever seen, Unspeakable and Dumpster Baby, come from Troma. Have you ever heard the term “scraping the bottom of the barrel”? Those two movies are below the bottom of the barrel. Thankfully I'm not focusing on movies that could be considered war crimes if they were shown in public. Today comes from the much smaller pile of Troma movies that are actually fun.

Class Of Nuke 'Em High (also known as Atomic High School) is a 1986 horror comedy movie written and directed by Lloyd Kaufman (The Toxic Avenger, Poultrygeist). The movie stars Gil Brenton as Warren and Janelle Brady and Chrissy. Warren and Chrissy are students at Tromaville High School which is only 1 mile away from a nuclear power plant. The power plant is leaking toxic waste, which seeps into the ground, contaminating the area. The school is run by a gang of former Honor Society students turned gutter punks called The Cretins. The Cretins, led by Spike (Robert Pritchard, The Toxic Avenger, Cracking Up), are a violent group that beat people up and sell irradiated pot to the students of the school. At a frat party, Warren and Chrissy smoke the toxic pot and have sex for the first time. That night, both Warren and Chrissy have bizarre and disturbing hallucinations. The next day, Chrissy begins to have stomach pains and runs to the bathroom. Her stomach distends quickly as if she is pregnant and she spits a small, tadpole-like creature out of her mouth into a toilet. The creature is flushed down and ends up in the schools basement, which is full of toxic waste. Warren temporarily transforms into a super-strong monster and kills two of The Cretins for making him and Chrissy sick with their pot. Spike and the rest of The Cretins beat up Warren and are expelled from school. They take over the school and kidnap Chrissy to the basement. Warren goes to save her only to discover a large deformed monster brutally killing The Cretins. How will Warren and Chrissy survive?

Must...get...moisturizer!

Despite Troma's somewhat dubious track record, Class Of Nuke 'Em High is actually a very entertaining movie. The movie has a good mixture of action, violence, horror, and genuinely funny comedy that most modern movies can't even come close to. It's no secret that a lot of early Troma movies revolved around nuclear waste and toxic spills. After all, the fictional town of Tromaville is the “Toxic Capital of the World”. While the fear of nuclear disasters still exists, it's not as prevalent as it was during the 70's and 80's, so the movie does have a slightly dated feel. That's not completely a bad thing because the movie does spoof the typical 80's high school movies that flooded theaters at the time. The goofy party scene, the clothes, and the two main characters worrying about having sex for the first time are all satirized throughout the movie. While not every joke hits the mark, there is a good mix of physical comedy, commentary, puns, and jokes. Another standout is the special effects used throughout the movie. Class Of Nuke 'Em High was made for relatively cheap, but was still capable of using a wide variety of traditional special effects and makeup to create a visually fun movie. I wish they had shown the monster more because it looked great.

One issue with the movie is that it tends to jump around too much. A lot of things happen in a short amount of time. Granted, Class of Nuke 'Em High isn't Citizen Kane, but proper pacing and smoothing out some of the edges would have helped. Warren and Chrissy are the main characters, but the movie goes through extended periods without seeing either one of them. A lot of time was given to The Cretins, but I feel hard-pressed to complain because they were the most entertaining thing in the movie. Robert Pritchard is particularly great as Spike and really should have been in more movies. Lloyd Kaufman does a good job of balancing the humor, horror, and action throughout the entire movie, not an easy task with so much going on.

Prom Night at Tromaville High

Class Of Nuke 'Em High is one of better movies in the Troma library and for good reason. It's mixture of humor and violence, coupled with solid traditional horror makes for an entertaining and fun watch. The movie is genuinely funny and the action is solid. The special effects are great especially with the small budget used. Class Of Nuke 'Em High is a great example of how you don't need a big budget or even an amazing story to put on a solid movie. If you're interested in getting in Troma's movies, this is a great place to start. I can't defend so of their other “films,” but at least this one is good.

7.5/10

Day 177: Cabin In The Woods

Cabin In The Woods

Cabin designed by H.R. Giger

People love Joss Whedon. They love him more than their own blood relatives. They think he's greater than sliced bread. If they could, they would make a sandwich out of him. While that might be much, he's written a lot of great television and movies. I really enjoyed the Buffy The Vampire Slayer television show. I don't know much about Firefly, but search “Firefly petition” on any search engine and you'll see people love that show second only to breathing. Of course, people overlook his involvement in Waterworld and Alien: Resurrection, but you can keep those in your back pocket if you ever want to make a nerd's head explode. His writing credits for movies also include Toy Story, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and Titan AE. How would he stack up writing a full-length horror movie?

Cabin In The Woods is a 2012 horror film, written by Joss Whedon and directed/co-written by Drew Goddard (Cloverfield, Lost), starring Kristen Connolly (The Happening, Guiding Light) as Dana Polk. Dana goes on a trip to a cabin in the woods with her friends Jules (Anna Hutchison, Power Rangers, Wild Boys), Curt (Chris Hemsworth, Thor, The Avengers), stoner Marty (Fran Kranz, The Village, Dollhouse) and newcomer Holden (Jesse Williams, Brooklyn's Finest, Grey's Anatomy), whom Jules is trying to set Dana up with. They stop to get gas at a run down station, where a creepy man warns them not to go ahead. They ignore his warnings and make it to the cabin. Holden discovers a two-way mirror between rooms and Dana covers it with a blanket. Unbeknownst to them, their trip is being closely monitored by a sophisticated group, led by Richard Sitterson (Richard Jenkins, Me, Myself, And Irene, The Visitor) and Steve Hadley (Bradley Whitford, Billy Madison, The West Wing). The group has cameras setup inside and outside the house and are pumping different chemicals into the house, affecting the group's personalities and actions. The group soon falls into horror movie cliches, with Dana acting the virgin role, Jules becoming the whore, Curt becoming the jock, Holden as the brain, and Marty as the fool. They are manipulated into going into the cellar, which is filled with strange artifacts. Dana reads from an old diary belonging to a young girl describing horrible violence and destruction. She reads a Latin incantation, unwittingly raising a family of redneck torture zombies. Soon the group is picked off one by one. Marty discovers a camera in his room and survives the attack along with Dana. They discover an elevator that leads down to the facility that has set up their night of terror. Why were they brought to the cabin and how will they survive?

The prettiest group of victims since Mean Girls

I wasn't sure what to expect when I first started watching Cabin In The Woods. I knew there was some horror genre-bending, but was expecting something like Hack or Hatchet, where there would just be an onslaught of stupid horror references and no story. Thankfully I was wrong, as the story is both creative and entertaining. The movie breaks down into two stories; the cabin portion and the facility portion. It doesn't waste time letting you know that some sort of conspiracy is afoot, which helps increase interest and excitement. The cabin portion is a fun nod to plenty of horror movies such as Evil Dead and Pumpkinhead. The characters slipping into the typical horror cliches is fun to watch as the acting is very good and believable. Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford and both quite enjoyable and funny, despite technically being villains. I was a bit indifferent towards the zombie rednecks. They look good, though, some scenes were a bit too dark for me. Maybe I'm just tired of zombies being in everything. The movie made up for the lack of diversity when the second portion of the movie commences. Horror fans will have a blast catching all the references when we see the other creatures being held in the facility. Both are very good and acknowledge other horror movies without smashing you over the head with references.

The movie balances legitimately funny humor with good action and violence. Fans of Buffy will definitely appreciate how Cabin In The Woods is written and set up. It brought to mind certain episodes of Buffy, such as “Band Candy” “Homecoming” and the whole Riley/Initiative storyline. Whedon and Goddard create clever dialogue that is well executed by the actors. The movie is cast well and even includes a small role by Sigourney Weaver (Alien, Ghostbusters). The movie ends on a fairly big down-note, especially for an American movie, and I think they actually missed out on possible sequels. Also, I'm upset they passed up the ultimate opportunity to have Cthulhu in a movie. I guess it's a compliment to want to see sequels, but maybe it's for the best.

Enjoy the references

Cabin In The Woods is a fun horror movie for both horror buffs and non horror fans alike. The writing is quick and clever with good humor. The love for Joss Whedon is understandable after seeing the movie. There is a good amount of action, blood, and gore with nice touches of mystery and thrills. The special effects look very good and the acting is spot-on, helping to elevate the movie to another level. While there were a few things I would have changed, Cabin In The Woods is a very enjoyable movie and I definitely recommend it.

8.5/10

Day 130: Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror

Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror

Murder was the case that they gave me

Hizzle foshizzle, my bizzle. Yeah, I have no idea what I just said, but Snoop Dogg might. I don't listen to hip hop or rap as I much prefer metal, hardcore, and rock, but Snoop has transcended his genre and become a household name thanks to his “reality” show and his other projects outside of the music world. A fan of comic books and scary movies, he's already stepped into the horror world, starring in the movie Bones. It comes as no surprise that he would star and contribute music to another horror movie in the same vein as Tales From The Crypt and Creepshow.

Hood of Horror is a 2006 trio of horror movies with an urban bent. The movie starts with an animated short that shows Devon (Snoop Dogg) selling his soul to a demon to bring back his dead sister, whom Devon may or may not have killed. In return, Devon becomes a Hound of Hell and narrates our stories. There are animated shorts connecting each story.

Crossed Out

The first story, entitled Crossed Out, stars Daniella Alonso (The Hills Have Eyes 2, Wrong Turn 2) as a graffiti artist named Posie. As a young girl, she saw her father murder her mother, before turning the gun on himself. She is chased by a gang led by Noel Gugliemi (Training Day, The Fast And The Furious). Posie escapes, but is grabbed by the mysterious and deformed Derelict (Danny Trejo, Machete, Con Air). He grants her special powers in order to change the hood for the better, but she uses the powers to cross out the tags of other people, thus killing them in gruesome fashion. Seeing that she is using the power only to kill, Derelict takes the power away and raises her zombified victims to gain their revenge.

The truth about Kool-Aid

The concept for this first story is decent, though for some reason I feel like I've heard it before. Daniella Alonso puts on a good performance and it's fun to see Danny Trejo in just about anything. Even Billy Dee Williams shows up for a brief appearance. The kills are pretty excellent in a horrifyingly funny sort of way. For example, a gang member trips and impales themselves on a 40. Now that's a creative way to kill someone. The makeup and effects used look good and are convincing. The short format did hurt the overall product as we're not really given enough time to connect with the characters and the story is rushed and a bit nonsensical. It's not really clear why Posie is given powers and why she decided to just murder the fuck out of people. It's not great, but it has it's moments.

4.5/10

The Scumlord

The second story is the Scumlord, starring Anson Mount as the racist Tex Woods Jr. and Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters, The Substitute) as Roscoe. Tex has inherited an apartment from his father, whom he murdered. The apartment is inhabited by Roscoe and 3 black veterans. Tex and his girlfriend Tiffany make the veterans' lives hell. Roscoe and crew take out their revenge on their slumlord with bloody results.

"Okay! George W. Bush ISN'T the greatest president of all time!"

This one probably had the most entertaining story with the most disappointing ending. It's not a horror story and I'm not exactly sure what they were thinking. The acting is good and the story has some funny moments, but it's all lost with such a weak ending. It's even more confusing when Snoop Dogg's character just kind of shows up at the end. It comes out of nowhere and is really unnecessary. It's a shame because the story was good only to be ruined by half-assing it on the horror front.

5/10

Rapsody Askew

The final story Rapsody Askew is about the rise and fall of a rapped named SOD (Pooch Hall, Heist, Stomp The Yard 2). He prays to become a famous rapper and meets Quon (Aries Spears, MAD TV). At an awards show party, SOD is confronted by a woman that shows SOD the horrible person he has become since cutting his deal with God. This includes greed, statutory rape, and having Quon murdered by their bodyguard Jersey (WCW's Diamond Dallas Page) in an effort to become more famous. A zombie Quon appears before SOD, taunting him and driving him insane. Jersey comes into the room, but does not see Quon. What will happen?

You got a little something on your...eh, nevermind

Rapsody Askew is more of a psychological horror movie than anything else. It's cool to see Aries Spears in a semi-serious role, though it is a little weird to hear him rapping and dropping the n-word when you're so used to seeing him on MAD TV. It was also fun to see Diamond Dallas Page in a role other than a wrestler. The makeup used for the reanimated Quon is top-notch. The story itself is standard stuff with nothing particularly scary going on. You pretty much know exactly what will happen from start to finish.

4.5/10

The film ends in another animated short where all the main characters are taken down to Hell. Hood of Horrors does not reach the quality of Tales From The Hood, but it's better than Nite Tales. Each story has it's moments, but they're nothing spectacular. They are helped along by including well-known serious actors and some good makeup and effects. The animation is very good and reminds me of Todd McFarlane's Spawn animated series. Overall, the movie is watchable, but not unmissable.

5/10