Day 350: Dawn Of The Dead

Dawn Of The Dead

You should really get that thing look at

Today's review is one of my most requested movies and it was a long time coming. Believe it or not, I wasn't always a fan of horror. Even with this blog, I'm not your typical horror fan. I don't go to conventions, I don't adorn my walls with movie posters, and I don't have a picture with Kane Hodder or Robert Englund. Like any normal child, I was pretty scared of horror movies. I'd shut my eyes real tight when a horror movie commercial would come on during Saturday morning wrestling. The first horror movie I remember really enjoying was Dawn Of The Dead. In a video store (remember those?) my dad bought the VHS and said, “It has zombies in a mall. You'll like it.” He was right.

Dawn Of The Dead is a 1978 zombie movie written and directed by George Romero (Night Of The Living Dead, Day Of The Dead). The movie stars Ken Foree (The Dentist, The Devil's Rejects) as SWAT team member Peter and David Emge (Basket Case 2, Hellmaster) as television worker Stephen. Building upon the events from Night Of The Living Dead, a pandemic of unknown original has caused deceased human beings to reanimate as zombies that crave the flesh of the living. Chaos reigns as the government tries to enforce martial law and people try to escape populated areas. Francine (Gaylen Ross, Creepshow, Madman) is working at the WGON television station which is broadcasting a debate on what to do about the zombies. With the station going off the air at midnight, Francine leaves with her boyfriend Stephen. There plan is to steal the station's helicopter and fly to a remote area in hopes of riding out the zombie pandemic. At the same time, a SWAT team raids an apartment complex in Pennsylvania that refuse to give up their sick and dead. SWAT member Roger (Scott Reiniger, Knightriders, The Other Victim) helps in the raid and tries to subdue a fellow team member who has decided to go on a killing spree. When Roger is unable to stop him, Peter shoots and kills him. Zombies begin to escape out of the apartments and a bloodbath ensues. Roger and Peter escape and meet up with Francine and Stephen in the helicopter. They eventually make their way to an abandoned mall in Monroeville, PA. To make the mall safe from more zombies, Roger and Peter steal trucks and park them in front of the mall's doors. By this point, Roger has become erratic in his actions, throwing caution to the wind. While hotwiring a truck, he is bitten in the leg by a zombie. With the entrances blocked, the group goes through the mall clearing out all the zombies. Peter notices that Francine looks sick and Stephen reveals that she is pregnant. The group enjoys the now empty mall, wearing fancy clothes, playing arcade games, eating decadent food, and simply enjoying themselves as the world around them collapses. The fun only lasts so long as they soon begin to feel imprisoned in their little utopia. Roger eventually turns into a zombie and is put down by Peter. One night, the group receives a radio call from people claiming to be survivors. They are in fact a group of raiders looking to loot the mall. The raiders open up the mall, allowing the zombies to get in. Between the raiders and the zombies, how will the group survive?

Well, that's one way to do it

Dawn Of The Dead is thoroughly and entirely enjoyable, something most movies cannot claim. The movie has so much to like in it that it's almost hard to nail down what it does best. It touches on all the important points of any good horror movie, whether it's a believable story, sustainable action, immense violence and gore, likable characters, and a strong message. Dawn Of The Dead builds upon the initial story from Night Of The Living Dead as the zombie pandemic spreads exponentially throughout the country. Romero keeps things local by keeping the movie in Pennsylvania, mostly filming in Pennsylvania and Monroeville. This helps ground the story and the audience rather than putting it in say New York City or Los Angeles. The events mostly take place in rural America where most can identify with the general surroundings. Most people want to escape the carnage, but there are those, referred to as rednecks, who are having a blast, shooting zombies and drinking beer. It's a funny juxtaposition to the utter chaos spreading throughout the country and perhaps world.

"Huuuuuuuuuugggggsssssss!"

That joy and bliss is revised when the group runs through the mall, enjoying what the mall has to offer. The scene creates some levity in the film and gets the audience to smile and let down their guard. Who among us wouldn't want to be in the same scenario. Just like those rednecks, the group has fun while the world around the collapses. Like all good things, it comes to an end, first by their own feelings and then by the raiders. There comes a point where you just can't have fun anymore and cabin fever begins to set in. It's hard to party when there is nothing to look forward to on the horizon. Romero gives us a heaping dose of social commentary with the raiders breaking into the mall. Zombies are eating people and the raiders just want to steal things. They have forsaken safety in the pursuit of stuff. Like those before them, the raiders have their fun, stealing jewels from zombies and literally slamming pies into their faces. Man's hedonistic desire is on full display in this movie. Romero also manages to take shots at the military, the police, and television talking heads. He manages to capture both the horrific violence and humor over the course of the movie, something that's easier said than done. The acting is good throughout and the diverse cast keeps things interesting. 

"OK. First we hit The Gap, then Hot Topic, then the Food Court."

“When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the earth.” It's one of the most famous in lines in all of horror cinema and is still chilling to the bone. It has shown up on t-shirts, in video games, in other movies, and even songs like the Murderdolls "Dawn Of The Dead". The line encompasses our fear of going to Hell, not resting in piece, and of course, having to deal with the living dead. Makeup wizard Tom Savini uses his skill to create some incredibly violent and gory scenes throughout the movie. There's plenty of guts and exploding heads and enough blood to fill a pool. The zombies look good with a believable pale bluish tinge to their skin. Romero manages to inject some humor into the movie by having a wide variety of zombies including a nun, a baseball player, and a Hari Krishna. The movie was shot in about four months with most of the mall scenes shot at night. The music played over the loudspeakers was the mall's actual music, which is kind of ridiculous if you listen to it. I don't think the mall is still there, which is a shame. There are multiple versions, alternative endings, a recut by Dario Argento, and of course, a great remake. The movie is quite long, so be prepared, but the movie never really lags.

"Dude, did you wash your hands?"

Dawn Of The Dead is probably my favorite horror movie. It just does so much right that any flaws can be ignored. Despite it's long run time, I never felt bored or complacent. There is a lot of action and an extreme amount of blood and gore. Tom Savini is at his best with the variety in violence and sheer amount of exploding heads. There is plenty of social commentary as one would expect from Romero or any zombie movie worth their salt. The acting is good and the direction is spot on. If you haven't seen Dawn Of The Dead, stop what you're doing and watch it now. And yes, I still have the original VHS.

10/10

Day 285: Day Of The Dead

Day Of The Dead

I can't wait for Afternoon Snack Time Of The Dead

It's no secret that I love zombie movies, particularly ones by George Romero. There is just something special about them with their mixture of violence, gore, believable characters, and social commentary that speaks to me. Say what you will about his recent efforts, but you will find yourself hard pressed to find anyone that hates Night Of The Living Dead and Dawn Of The Dead. It's the third movie in the “Dead” series that doesn't always receive universal praise. Is there something so wrong with the movie for it not to be as beloved as the first two?

Day Of The Dead is a 1985 zombie movie written and directed by George Romero (Monkey Shines, Bruiser) and serves as the third movie in the “...Of The Dead” series. The movie stars Lori Cardille (Tales From The Darkside, Ryan's Hope) as Dr. Sarah Bowman and Joseph Pilato (Pulp Fiction, Wishmaster) as Captain Rhodes. A short time after the events in Dawn Of The Dead, the world has been overrun with zombies. A small group of soldiers and scientists have holed-up in an underground military base in Florida. Sarah, along with helicopter pilot John (Terry Alexander, Conspiracy Theory, Deadline) mechanic McDermott (Jarlath Conroy, True Grit, Law & Order) and emotionally-fragile solider Miguel explore a city in hopes of finding any survivors but are only met by zombies. The lead scientist, Dr. Logan (Richard Liberty, The Crazies, Flight Of The Navigator), believes that the zombies can be trained to become docile and has been experimenting on undead specimens. Tensions grow between the scientists and soldiers as Logan's results fail to impress Captain Rhodes. During a mission to capture more zombies, two soldiers are killed and Miguel is bitten in the arm. Sarah amputates his arm, but is unsure if she stopped the infection in time. Rhodes calls for the experiments to be stopped, but Dr. Logan has been working with his prized experiment, whom he named Bub. Bub has show more progress than any other zombie, showing his ability to remember things from his life and learn new things. To reward bub, Dr. Logan has been feeding him body parts from deceased soldiers. When Captain Rhodes learns what has been happening, he takes his revenge out on the doctor, Sarah, John, and McDermott. Between the psychotic Rhodes and the swarms of killer zombies, how will they survive?

Aaahhh! Cold hands! Cold hands!

The third movie in a trilogy is always the most difficult one to pull off. People have fallen in love with the first two movies and expectations are sky-high for the final movie. Originally, George Romero wanted Day Of The Dead to be the “Gone With The Wind” of zombie films, but due to the budget being halved, the story had to be scaled back significantly. What we get instead is a zombie movie with a lot of talking, but still plenty of violence. When I say a lot of talking, I mean a lot of talking. The points made and the character development are all necessary, but they drag on a little too long in certain parts. The movie is only 100 minutes long but it feels much longer. The movie has plenty of Romero-style commentary on subjects ranging from sexism and racism to the military and the selfishness of man. Every good zombie movie requires social commentary and Day Of The Dead provides plenty. One difference I noticed between Day and the two previous films as that it was set in an unfamiliar place. Night Of The Living Dead took place in a house and Dawn Of The Dead took place mainly in a mall. Day, though was in a drab underground bunker. The first two movies had a familiarity in it's settings and allowed the audience to relate to the characters' situation. Here, we have scientists and soldiers safe underground. The struggle for survival is reduced because the characters are not the “everyman” like in the previous films.

Possibly the biggest success in the movie is the extreme violence and gore thanks to makeup and effects guru Tom Savini. Savini is at the top of his game with realistic blood and organs being strewn about like party decorations. The final half hour is full of incredible death scenes and show why CGI and computer effects can never replace traditional horror makeup. The zombies all look great and Romero manages to include some funny ones like a bride and a member of a marching band. Romero's direction is very good, capturing every emotion, every nuance, and every bit of disturbing violence. The acting is pretty good throughout, though I can see where some may dislike some of the soldiers. They can be seen as too over-the-top and goofy, but one could attribute their actions to their hopeless situation. If anything, they don't look like soldiers at all and you can even surmise that they are, in fact, not soldiers at all, though that is never actually implied. 

Zombie with a gun: The ultimate killing machine

Despite not being quite as good at Night and Dawn, Day Of The Dead is still a really, really good horror movie. There is a reason why the movie has a sequel and a remake as well as multiple references in music and pop culture. George Romero does a great job directing and the acting is good as well. The social commentary is solid and the story is enjoyable enough, though not as relatable as the first two movies. Tom Savini does a fantastic job with his makeup and effects. The zombies look great and the gore is still impressive to this day. The movie does tend to be a bit wordy and can feel much longer than it is, but overall, it's an extremely entertaining zombie movie.

8/10

Day 245: The Burning

The Burning

So the killer's head is a volcano? The Sun? What the hell am I looking at?

A group of horny teenagers are brutally murdered by an unseen killer. Sound familiar? During the “slasher boom” of the mid-70's and early 80's, a lot of horror movies followed this simple formula. Black Christmas is widely considered to be the first true slasher film, followed by Silent Night, Bloody Night and Savage Weekend. Thanks to successes like Halloween and Friday The 13^th, studios desperately tried to cash in on slasher movies, amping up the gore while keeping the same basic story. Despite being a subgenre, slashers are one of the most popular and best-known styles of horror. Does it matter if a slasher is generic as long as there's lots of gore?

The Burning is a 1981 slasher starring Brian Matthews (The Young And The Restless, Days Of Our Lives) as Todd. When he was a teenager, Todd and a group of campers played a prank on Cropsy, the camp's caretaker. They placed a rotting skull with candles in it's eye sockets on Cropsy's table, hoping to scare him. When Cropsy woke up, he inadvertently knocked the skull onto his bed, setting himself on fire. He managed to survive, though he was permanently scarred and disfigured. 5 years later, Cropsy was released from the hospital and Todd has become a counselor at a summer camp. Alfred (Brian Backer, Fast Times At Ridgemont High,The Money Pit), an outcast camper, is caught peeping on one of the girls at camp and is threatened with expulsion. He tells Todd that he was just playing a prank to get back at another camper, a meathead named Glazer, for giving him a hard time. That night, Alfred sees someone outside his cabin, but no one believes him. Todd and his girlfriend Michelle (Leah Ayres, Bloodsport, The Brady's) take a group of campers down river for a few days. Unknown to them, Cropsy is out in the woods, stalking them. When their canoes go missing, a small group builds a raft to get back to camp. They spot one of the canoes and head towards it. When they reach it, Cropsy jumps out, brutally hacking and slashing them to death with garden shears. Cropsy kills more of the group, killing Glazer and his girlfriend Sally. Alfred sees this and grabs Todd. When they find the bodies, they are attacked by Cropsey. How will they survive and how will they get back to camp?

"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

If this story sounds familiar, it's not your imagination. Friday The 13^th came out in 1980 and it's sequel came out the same year as The Burning. The then new company Miramax Films was looking to cash-in on the slasher craze of the time. Harvey and Bob Weinstein (Gangs of New York, Kill Bill) wrote and produced the movie and put about $1.5 million into making it, a much higher budget than some of it's slasher brethren. They also hired makeup and special effects wizard Tom Savini (Dawn Of The Dead, Friday The 13^th) away from Friday The 13^th Part 2 to provide all the gore and makeup. Slasher movies rarely require much in the way of story, but it's so similar to the Friday The 13^th series that it feels like I'm watching the same movie. There are oversexed teen counselors being murdered by a sharp metal object in the woods. That's not “like” Friday The 13^th, that is Friday The 13^th. Despite essentially being the same movie, The Burning has a lot more bloody violence and gore, some of which got them in trouble with the Motion Picture Association. While the scenes are tame by today's standards, they were pretty shocking for 1981. The violence is pretty entertaining thanks to Savini's creative makeup and effects. The violence is pretty entertaining thanks to Savini's creative makeup and effects.

Speaking of effects, the makeup used for Cropsy's disfigurement looks less like a burn victim and more like a pink California Raisin. Apparently, Savini only had about 3 days to work on the makeup giving Crospy a melted look instead of burns. We go through most of the movie never seeing him and it was disappointing when his face is finally revealed. The film uses the first-person perspective from Cropsy's point of view when he is stalking his victims. Friday The 13^th did the same exact thing. The movie's final scene takes place in a mine shaft, reminiscent of My Bloody Valentine, which came out in the same year. Either these are incredible coincidences, or the Weinsteins just didn't care and took from other movies. The acting is decent throughout, though Brian Backer is a little annoying. His delivery is a little too desperate and sweaty. Part of that is the writing because he's supposed to be a somewhat sympathetic character, but still comes off like a creep. The Burning has smaller roles played by future stars like Jason Alexander (George from Seinfeld) and Holly Hunter (Raising Arizona, O, Brother Where Art Thou?) and it's fun to see them before they got their breaks. 

At least you can still do the "I'm talking on the phone" hand gesture 

The Burning is a by-the-numbers slasher movie very similar to other slashers. It's not terribly original, but what it lacks in creativity, it tries to make up with blood and gore. The violence is very entertaining and quite messy for the time period. Tom Savini works his magic with some very good effects, though his makeup for the villain is lacking. The acting and directing are fine and it's fun to pick out some famous actors in smaller roles. The Burning is by no means a bad slasher movie. It gives the audience what it wants: blood and guts. While some scenes in the movie are cliché or don't make sense, like why Cropsy killed a random prostitute in the beginning, the movie's quick pace tries to erase lingering questions. It's not a classic and doesn't have great name recognition, but The Burning is still worth a watch if you're feeling nostalgic or want to catch a lesser-known movie from the slasher boom.

6.5/10

Day 195: Friday The 13th

Friday The 13^th

It's Friday, Friday

Happy Friday the 13^th everyone! This day is considered unlucky in Western culture dating back to the 1800's. Nowadays, though, Friday the 13^th is more closely related to the unkillable murder machine, Jason. This day is sort of a holiday for horror fans with only Halloween topping it. Just today, I saw donuts with powdered sugar in the shape of Jason's iconic hockey mask. Friday the 13^th is one of the longest running slasher series. I had a wide array of movies to choose from for this special day, but I thought the only way to truly honor it would be to watch the original.

Friday The 13^th is a 1980 slasher movie starring Adrienne King (Saturday Night Fever, Friday The 13^th Part 2) as Alice. In 1958, two camp counselors at Camp Crystal Lake snuck away from their group to fool around. They are caught by an unseen assailant and murdered. Flash forward to the present day where the camp has been reopened by Steve Christy. Annie (Robbi Morgan), a new counselor hitches a ride halfway to the camp and is warmed by the driver about all the mysterious murders that have occurred at the lake over the years. She gets a ride from an unseen driver who speeds past the camp. Afraid, Annie leaps from the speeding car only to be captured by the driver and killed with a hunting knife. Back at the camp, several of the counselors (including a young Kevin Bacon, Footloose, Tremors) being refurbishing the camp while Steve heads to town. The counselors drink and do drugs and even play strip Monopoly, unaware that a killer is slowly picking off members of the group one by one in brutal and gruesome fashion. When Steve returns to the camp, he is also murdered by the unseen killer. Alice and another counselor, Bill, discover that the phone lines have been cut. Bill goes to check on the generator and when he doesn't return, Alice goes searching for him and discovers his corpse pinned to a door with arrows. Fearing for her life, Alice tries to flee and runs into a middle-aged woman, named Pamela Vorhees (Betsy Palmer, Penny Dreadful, Knots Landing). Alice tells her of the murders, but the woman interrupts her to tell the story of her son Jason Voorhees, a camper at Crystal Lake who drowned when the counselors weren't looking. Enraged, Mrs. Vorhees lunges at Alice with a knife. How will Alice be able to survive?

Go ask Alice

Friday The 13^th came about based off the success of Halloween a few years earlier. There are some similarities such as the quiet killer, scenes shot from the first person perspective, the use of knives, and the focus on teens as victims. The movie does a great job of keeping the identity of the killer a secret. The most we ever see is just a hand and some flannel clothing and the killer is only addressed in pronouns. We are never tipped off as to who the killer is and don't even know the killer's gender. When Mrs. Vorhees is finally revealed, it is extra terrifying to think that a middle-aged mother is capable of such carnage. Betsy Palmer is just great in her role and is very convincing as a deranged mother seeking vengeance for her dead son. The movie has plenty of action and loads of bloody gore, thanks to Tom Savini (Dawn Of The Dead, Creepshow). There are a few scares, but not as much as you would expect from a “classic” slasher movie. There are various kills and some good creative uses of common items. There was one scene where a snake is killed and from what I can tell, they actually did kill a snake. This bothered me and I really wish they had not killed the creature. Animals should never be hurt for entertainment purposes. To make things worse, it's not like it added anything to the movie and could have easily been implied. I'm not going all PETA on the movie, I just feel it was cruel and unfortunate.

Where the movie succeeds in classic horror mayhem and violence, it fails in storytelling. The pace is dreadfully slow at times and is only tolerable thanks to killings sprinkled throughout the hour and a half. The movie doesn't give much motivation to the characters other than “be teenagers”. There is little in the way of character development which is painfully clear when only Alice is left. All she does is scream. And scream. The audience is not cheering for her to survive because we know very little about her. She's just one of the counselors and has no unique connection with the viewers. There is not much story to go on other than “people are killed” and not enough time is given to explaining Jason and Mrs. Vorhees' motivation. The ending is a pretty good twist, but could have and should have been far better.

I've seen that look at many Black Friday events

Friday The 13^th spawned many sequels, a crossover with Freddy Krueger from A Nightmare On Elm Street and a remake (which I completely forgot existed). It also inspired countless other slasher movies and video games, some good and plenty bad. The killings throughout the movie are fun and bloody with a good amount of creativity thrown in to the mix. The movie does a good job of hiding the killer and Betsy Palmer is great as the deranged Mrs. Vorhees. The story lacks a lot of depth and there is little in the way of character development. There are some scares, but not as many as you might expect. Friday The 13^th is still an important movie in the horror and slasher genres and is a fun, if not a sometimes boring, watch.

6/10

Day 179: Maniac

Maniac

Aw, he got raspberry jam all over his shoes

The 1970's and early 80's were a crazy time, especially in New York City. The economy was in the dumps, racial tension was high, crime and drug use was rampant, and disco was popular. It was the perfect setting for plenty of great movies such as Taxi Driver, The Godfather, Death Wish, Raging Bull and Dog Day Afternoon. The grim and gritty backdrop was perfect for movies in need of a “real” setting. It's only natural that a horror movie would use that same setting to create fear and terror.

Maniac is a 1980 horror serial killer film co-written by and starring Joe Spinell (The Godfather Part II, Rocky) as Frank Zito. Frank is a homicidal schizophrenic, killing women, scalping them, and fixing the scalps to the heads of mannequins that he keeps in his tiny apartment. We see him carrying on conversations with his long-dead, abusive mother. The body count rises and police are unable to pinpoint who the killer is. One day, Frank sees a fashion photographre named Anna take his photo in the park. He finds her bag and is able to track her down. He controls himself long enough to appear normal and intelligent, even going out to dinner with Anna. While visiting her on the set of one of her shoots, Frank becomes enamored with one of her models, Rita. He steals her necklace and uses it as a reason to go to her apartment. Once she lets him in, Frank ties her up and speaks to her as if she is his mother and he has finally been reunited with her. He stabs her to death before scalping her and dismembering her body. Frank takes Anna to his mother's grave where his grip on reality completely slips as he tries to attack Anna. She is able to hit Frank with a shovel and runs. Frank weeps at his mother's grave and hallucinates that she is now a zombie and is trying to kill him. Will Anna be able to survive and who, or what, can stop Frank?

I love what I've done with your hair

The biggest problem with Maniac is the story, or lack thereof. Maniac is essentially a combination of real-life killers Ed Gein and Son of Sam. There is no real story to speak of until the last 30 minutes of the movie. Prior to that, we basically watch Frank stalk and murder a few different women. Any female character that is introduced is just killed by Frank, so it's not like we have any connection or feelings towards these characters. What compounds the problem is that these killing scenes are far too long. They all have good suspense because we know what is going to happen and are just waiting. And waiting. And waiting. I actually lost suspense, if that's even possible. There are some jolts, mostly due to the makeup and effects by Tom Savini (Dawn of the Dead, From Dusk Till Dawn), who even makes an appearance in the movie. That appearance is cut short when Frank blows his head off with a shotgun in a scene that is both gruesome and impressive as Savini's “head” explodes like a paint-filled melon.

The movie mostly focuses on Frank's schizophrenic conversations which, admittedly, are very terrifying. It's like being part of a peepshow, peering in to the cracked psyche of a madman. Joe Spinell does a superb job convincing me that he was insane, especially since many of his scenes are by himself. It also helps that he looks like a sweatier version of Ron Jeremy. His transition from seething lunatic to polite, even charming man is very impressive, but it comes out of nowhere and was unexpected. Why not start the movie with his relationship with Anna instead of waiting until the very end? The movie really goes off the rails in the last 10 minutes with the addition of Frank's mother and victims appearing as zombies. Zombies?! Where did this come from? For a movie that went for gritty and “real”, the ending did a complete 180 and crashed into a cliff made of “Huh?!”

F-F-fuck

Maniac does fit in with the other dirty New York City movies of the era, but goes more for shock and blood than story or feeling. It focuses far too much on stalking and violence for the first hour, leaving the last act to feel rushed and out of place. It would have been better if this was reversed because for a majority of the movie, there is no plot other than Frank killing women because he's nuts. Joe Spinell puts on a great performance, both visually and emotionally. Tom Savini's makeup and effects are as good as always with lots of blood and gore. Ultimately, Maniac has a few good things about it, but it's not enough to make it a complete watch.

6/10

Day 169: Creepshow

Creepshow

It's like a peepshow, but scary for a good reason

Happy Father's Day everyone. I hope you got something special for you dad or if you're a dad yourself, I hope you had a good day. And even if you didn't celebrate the day, I hope you enjoyed yourself because you should. My love of horror was passed down to me from my dad and it all started with a VHS copy of Dawn Of The Dead. “It has zombies in a mall,” he said and I have been hooked ever since. The wonderful world of horror allows people to come together and bond. It also has a great tradition of having stories based off holidays. While I'm still waiting for a Hannukah-based horror movie, a story in Creepshow gives me an excuse to review it.

Creepshow is a 1982 horror anthology written by Stephen King (The Shining, It) and directed by George Romero (Night Of The Living Dead, Monkey Shines). The movie consists of five stories and include an ensemble cast of actors and actresses. Tom Savini (Dawn Of The Dead, The Burning) handled the makeup and special effects. The movie begins starts with young Billy, a young fan of the comic book Creepshow. His father, Stan (Tom Atkins, The Fog, Lethal Weapon) slaps him for reading such “crap” and throws the comic in the garbage. That leads into our first story.

“Father's Day”

Father's Day stars Jonathan Lormer (Star Trek, The Twilight Zone) as Nathan Gratham, the miserly patriarch of a rich, spoiled family that has been involved in illegal operations. On Father's Day, Nathan's daughter Bedelia, who had become emotionally unstable for putting up with her father's demands for so many years, finally snapped and smashed his head in. Years later, several of Nathan's descendants, granddaughter Sylvia, great grandchildren Richard and Cass, and Cass's husband, Hank (Ed Harris, The Rock, Enemy At The Gates) gather on Father's Day for dinner. Bedelia arrives late to pay respect to her dead father at his grave. Nathan's rotten corpse rises from the grave in search of his traditional Father's Day Cake. Will the family be able to survive the zombified Nathan or will he finally get his cake?

I think he needs more than just cake

This story is a good first start for the movie. It starts off a little slow establishing characters, but things really pick up once Nathan rises from the grave. There is some internal conflict from the audience because on the one hand, we kind of hate Nathan because he's a mean, old bastard and now he's a murderous zombie. On the other hand, he was murdered and his descendants are all terrible people. Regardless, the story is fun, if a little simple, with good action and makeup. It may not be the best story in the bunch, but it has it's moments.

7.5/10

“The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill”

The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill (originally titled Weeds) stars Stephen King himself in the title role. Jordy is a simple country bumpkin who discovers a meteorite. He believes that the local college will pay him money for it, which would take care of his bank loan. The meteorite begins to ooze a strange glowing substance which Jordy unfortunately touches. A strange green plant-like organism begins to grow on Jordy's skin and in his home. It grows rapidly and itches him terribly The apparition of his dead father warns him not to take a bath, but the itching is too great and Jordy submerges himself in water. What will happen to Jordy after the bath and is there rain in the forecast?

Green is definitely your color

This is probably the shortest of the five stories, which is fine because there is not much to tell. That's not to say it isn't good, it's just one helpless man's story. While being simple, it creeps up on your (see what I did there?) and is actually far heavier than you'd expect. There is some humor and Stephen King actually plays the part very, very well. If you didn't know he was the writer, you'd think King was a full-time actor. The plant-like alien looks pretty good, especially when it covers the house. One complaint was his father appearing in a vision. It really came out of nowhere and was never really alluded to before or after. Also, I didn't like that the slow, goofy character was named Jordy. That's my name!

8.5/10

“Something To Tide You Over”

Something To Tide You Over stars Leslie Nielsen (The Naked Gun, Spy Hard) as Richard Vickers and Ted Danson (Cheers, Curb Your Enthusiasm) as Harry Wentworth. Richard's wife, Becky (Gaylen Ross, Dawn Of The Dead) has been cheating on him with Harry and Richard plans to take revenge on them. Despite his downright upbeat manner, Richard has snapped and wants to kill them both. Richard forces Harry at gunpoint into a hole on the beach and commands him to fill it with sand up to his neck. Richard puts a television in front of Harry so he can watch Becky, who is in the same predicament, drown when the tide rolls in. Richard, done with the deed, returns to his home to unwind. He is soon attacked by the seaweed-covered reanimated corpses of Harry and Becky. He loses his mind as his attempts to kill them fail. How can you kill something that is already dead?

Frank Drebin gets real

This is probably my favorite story in Creepshow and that is based almost solely on the performance of Leslie Nielsen. I loved his comedy work, so it was great to see him play a really evil character, all while doing it with a smile. It's a really interesting take on the character and it may not have worked if it wasn't done by Nielsen. He is extra awesome when he runs from the zombies and starts to lose his mind. Ted Danson also does a really good job. The story is pretty creative in that sick and twisted sort of way. There is a decent amount of action and a nice amount of fear. The makeup for the zombies could have been a bit better. Maybe it was all the seaweed on them. Regardless, it's still a good story with some great acting.

9.5/10

“The Crate”

The Crate stars Fritz Weaver (Marathon Man, Black Sunday) as Professor Dexter Stanley. A custodian discovers a 148 year-old crate beneath a stairwell at the college. He notifies Dexter and they decide to open the crate, unwittingly releasing a vicious, blood-thirsty creature. The creature, which is small and fur-covered, kills Mike and a graduate student who came to help. Stanley, unstable and hysterical tells his story to his friend and college, Professor Henry Northrup (Hal Holbrook, Into The Wild, The Fog). Mild-mannered Henry has been abused and embarrassed by his alcoholic wife, Wilma (Adrienne Barbeau, Escape From New York, The Fog). He sees this creature as a way to finally get rid of her once and for all. Henry concocts a story about Dexter beating up a girl to convince Wilma to come to the school and look underneath the stairs. What will happen to Wilma and how will the creature be contained?

Cheese!

This is another fun story aided by good performances. Hal Holbrook does very well as the beaten-down Henry looking to escape from his terrible wife. Adrienne Barbeau is great as the drunk and abusive Wilma. You really want her to be attacked by the creature and don't feel much remorse. The creature, which was like a cross between a mini-Yeti with a baboon face, looked too goofy for my taste. It's only show a few times, so it didn't kill the story, but it should have been a lot better. There is a good amount of violence and blood to keep us watching during the longest of the stories. At least it felt long because they had to establish Henry and Wilma's relationship before getting to the final act. It's necessary, but because they showed that in the middle of the story, it killed a little momentum. The acting really helped make this a good story.

9/10

“They're Creeping Up On You”

They're Creeping Up On You is the fifth and final story in Creepshow, starring E.G. Marshall (Tora! Tora! Tora!, 12 Angry Men) as the ruthless businessman Upson Pratt. Pratt suffers from mysophobia, which is a pathological fear of germs and contamination. He lives in a hermetically sealed apartment which becomes invaded by insects during a thunder storm. At first, he kills off the little bugs, just like the little people he fired and walked all over. He is soon overwhelmed from all sides by various insects. Will he be able to survive.

Donald Trump on a bad day

This is probably my least favorite of the stories. It's not bad, but it just doesn't have the same feel as the others. It comes off more like an episode of Tales From The Darkside than a cinematic story. E.G. Marshall is very good in his role, especially when he doesn't really interact with other actors. It has a few good scares and an overall feeling of dread. If you don't like bugs, you will be extra freaked out because they are literally everywhere. They're Creeping Up On You has good social commentary and some fun moments, but it doesn't measure up to the level of the other stories.

7/10

The movie ends with Billy using a voodoo doll on his father that he got out of an ad from Creepshow, with other ads referencing the previous stories. Stephen King is his usual wonderful self crafty this spooky and creative stories while George Romero does a great job directing. There is plenty of action and some real good scares. The ensemble cast really makes Creepshow something special. There is a little something for everyone in this movie and it is highly recommended. You should also check out the awesome horror punk/psychobilly band The Creepshow here and here Happy Father's Day!

9/10