Day 319: Puppet Master

Puppet Master

Obey your master...master

I've reviewed a few movies courtesy of Full Moon Entertainment, including Demonic Toys, Decadent Evil,  Evil Bong, and Meridian. While all three were different, their similarities were obvious. All were made on the cheap and were completely balls-out insane. I mean, a talking bong that kills people? A Beauty And The Beast knockoff horror movie? Whatever the fuck Decadent Evil is? When a movie with murderous toys is the least batshit insane movie out of the bunch, you know there's something wrong. Full Moon did actually have a breakout hit amongst all their stealing piles of crap: Puppet Master. The Puppet Master franchise has spawned over ten movies, comic books, and toys. If a movie franchise has lasted this long, the original has to be great, right? Of course not, this is Full Moon we're talking about!

Puppet Master is a 1989 direct-to-video horror movie written by Charles Band and Kenneth J. Hall. The movie stars Paul Le Mat (American Graffiti, American History X) as psychic Alex Whitaker. In 1939, puppeteer Andre Toulon (William Hickey, Tales From The Darkside, The Nightmare Before Christmas) is tracked down by two Nazi spies. Toulon had discovered the secret ability to give life to inanimate objects and bestowed the gift on his puppets. As the Nazis are about to break down his door, Toulon shoots himself before they could get his secret. Fifty years later, a psychic named Alex Whitaker begins to have strange, violent dreams involving both the past and the future. At the same time, fellow psychic Dana Hadley (Irene Miracle, Midnight Express, Inferno), has a vision of getting her throat cut. Alex and Dana, along with psychic couple Carissa and Frank are summoned to the Bodege Bay Inn where their former colleague Neil Gallagher (Jimmie F. Skaggs, Cutthroat Island, Leathal Weapon) is staying. They meet Neil's wife Megan who informs them that Neil has killed himself and before his burial, insisted that the four psychics were present. As the day turns into night, Toulon's puppets come to life and begin to wreak havoc on the guests. Soon, only Alex and Megan are left alive. To their shock, Neil turns up alive and well. How is this possible and what does Neil have in store for Alex and Megan?

"Ain't I a stinker?"

As with any killer doll movie, you have to take the plot with a grain of salt. Done correctly, the killer doll genre can be quite scary and very entertaining. Child's Play and the Talking Tina episode of The Twilight Zone are proof. Puppet Master gives us different dolls with unique attributes, like knives for hands and spitting up leeches to keep things interesting. Sure, it's utterly ridiculous to see a plastic doll spit out multiple leeches, but hey, at least it's different. The puppets look good with some nice detail put into each one. The use of stop-motion gives the puppets semi-believable mobility and multiple first-person camera shots for the puppets' point of view is fun and mixes things up. There are some fun kills and the usual amount of violence and nudity expected in a Full Moon movie.

The problem with Puppet Master is that the over-the-top violence and action doesn't come in until the last third of the movie. Instead, we have to sit through a story that must have been dipped on molasses before it was made. I had literally zero interest in the psychics and their screwy dreams. It has very little to do with the killer puppets, which is stupid because the entire point of the movie is to see the puppets kill people! I didn't watch the movie so I can hear about psychics and the barely-their connection to Toulos. The dream sequences were ridiculous time killers that had a high unintentional comedy factor. I didn't care about Alex, which is a problem because he's the fucking main character. If I don't care about him, why should I care about anything else? On top of that, his hair was a ridiculous amalgam of Meatloaf and Dennis Miller hair. The acting is downright painful, though it's not like they had a lot to work with.

Yeah, this makes sense

When I watch a killer doll movie, I want to see killer dolls. I don't want to have to sit through some unnecessary blather about psychic. You wouldn't watch a zombie movie if the focus was on the main character's golf game, would you? The first 40 minutes are painfully dull and almost completely useless. When the dolls finally start killing people the movie actually becomes fun and entertaining. The variety of dolls kept things interesting and the first-person camera shots were a nice touch. The violence was decent and distracted from the plot holes and filming mistakes like an elevator clearly going up while the numbers go down. While I wasn't expecting Citizen Kane, I figured that a movie that spawned 10 sequels would have at least been decent. Demonic Toys was a better movie. DEMONIC TOYS! If you're morbidly curious or a completest, I'd say check out Puppet Master. If you're looking for a good movie, check elsewhere.

3/10

Day 287: Tales From The Hood

Tales From The Hood

Skull-Faced Killah

Horror anthologies are great for many reasons. You get multiple stories in one film. If you don't like one, you have others to look forward to. Don't want a vampire story? Well, wait a few minutes and you'll get a zombie story. Anthologies give short stories a chance to reach a wider audience as well. How many times have you seen a horror movie stretched out over an hour and a half when a 20 minute short would have sufficed? They get to the point because they have to, cutting out all of the filler and going straight to the killer.

Tales From The Hood is a 1995 urban-themed horror anthology written and directed by Rusty Cundieff (Fear Of A Black Hat, Chapelle's Show) and executive produced by Spike Lee (Do The Right Thing, Crooklyn). Broken down into four stories, the movie begins with a trio of drug dealers, Stack, Ball, and Bulldog going to Simms's Funeral Home in South Central Los Angeles. The group is at the funeral home to purchase “found” drugs from the strange funeral home director, Mr. Simms (Clarence Williams III, The Mod Squad, Half-Baked). Before getting down to business, Mr. Simms takes the men through his funeral home, telling them stories of his four recent “customers”.

You won't see any worse at your local bus stop

Rogue Cop Revelation

The first story is a tale of racism, police brutality, and responsibility. On his first night on the job, police officer Clarence Smith (Anthony Griffith, Panther, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle)

witness three white police officers beating on a black man. The man turns out to be famed civil rights activist Martin Moorehouse (Tom Wright, Marked For Death, Barbershop). Moorehouse has been crusaded against police corruption and the three cops are taking their revenge out on him for exposing them. Clarence stops them and is placated when they promise to take Moorehouse to the hospital. After he leaves, the inject Moorehouse with heroin and send his car off the docks, killing him. A year later, Clarence has quit the force and his life has fallen to pieces due to alcohol and the guilt of not saving Moorehouse. He sees a mural of Moorehouse and hears his voice, commanding “Bring them to me!”. Clarence gathers the guilty police men at Moorehouse's grave. As one begins to urinate on the grave, a hand reaches up from the ground and grabs him. Martin Moorehouse has risen from the grave to gain revenge on those who wronged him. Will Moorehouse be able to rest easy or has Clarence not done enough to placate the vengeful spirit?

Traffic in LA keeps getting worse and worse

It's important to remember that Tales From The Hood came out in 1995, not too long after the LA riots. The high-profile case involving Rodney King was still fresh in people's minds around this time. There are still many cases of police brutality and racism, but this case was huge. Rogue Cop Revelation's story is simple and straight to the point. The motivations are all believable and the social commentary is strong while not being too heavy-handed. There is a good amount of violence and some fun and creative kills. The issue of morality and responsibility is also brought up, though it should have been explored a little bit more. Some more inner toil for Clarence would have given his character a bit more depth. The effects look decent, though certain scenes, like flying syringe's, look amateurish. While this story doesn't break any new ground, it's still a fun revenge story with some great violence

7.5/10

Boys Do Get Bruised

The second story follows Walter (Brandon Hammond, Space Jam, The Fan), a young boy with a secret living in his home. His teacher, Mr. Richard Garvy (Rusty Cundieff) notices that Walter has bruises on his face and asks Walter how he got them. Walter just says that “the monster” did it. One day, Mr. Garvy sees Walter drawing pictures of a monster instead of playing outside. Walter explains that if you draw pictures of the things that scare you and then crumple them up or burn them, the monsters will go away. When Mr. Garvy leaves, Walter crumples up a picture of a boy named Tyrone who was bullying him. At the same time, Tyrone falls down the stairs, breaking both arms and legs. Mr. Garvy goes to Walter's house to speak with his mother Sissy, but she refuses to talk about any sort of monster. As he is leaving, Mr. Garvy meets Sissy's boyfriend Carl (David Alan Grier, In Living Color, Blankman). Thinking that Walter has told on him about being a monster, Carl starts beating on both Walter and Sissy, yelling in a monstrous voice. Mr. Garvy tries to stop him, but is overpowered. How will they be able to stop this monster?

He's not a monster. He's just Republican.

This story is probably has the least amount of traditional horror in comparison to the other stories, but that doesn't diminish it's impact. Like Rogue Cop Revelation, the events in Boys Do Get Bruised are very much based on real life issues, which helps lead credence to the story. I'm not entirely sure if Carl is actually a monster or not. Sure, it's hinted at with his scary voice and clawed hand, but conceivably that could have just been Walter's imagination. I would have liked a little more definitive evidence of Carl being a monster. It doesn't change the story, since he is a monster regardless of his looks or origin, but it would have made the story more horror-centric. I really liked David Alan Grier in this story as it was nice to see him in a non-comedic role. Much like Stephen Colbert in his episode of Law & Order, seeing David Alan Grier as a bad guy is quite surprising. Boys Do Get Bruised is a decent story with a good ending, but it does lack in the horror department.

7/10

KKK Comeuppance

The third story follows southerner Duke Metger (Corbin Bernsen, Major League, The Dentist), a former Ku Klux Klan member in the midst of his senatorial campaign. Duke has moved into an old Southern plantation that had a history of violence towards slave. There is a story about the plantation about an old voodoo woman who placed the souls of murdered slaves into little dolls that are supposedly hidden in the house. Duke's assistant is running through campaign talking points when he accidentally falls down the stairs and dies. Duke reviews the film later and finds a little African American doll sitting at the top of the stairs. Later, he notices a spot missing on a mural of the dolls in his house. He is viciously attacked by the same doll that tripped his assistant, but is able to fight it off, spouting racial slurs the entire time. Soon, more spots are missing on the painting, indicating that more dolls have come to life and are somewhere in the house. How will Duke survive and will anyone believe him?

Sir, please don't use the American flag to wipe up your fear piss

This story is probably the most horror-centric of the four. There really isn't much to the story other than a racist fights off slave dolls. The story could have used a little better social commentary as this is pretty basic and does not delve deeper when it should have. Corbin Bernsen is great as the racist Southern senator. You really hate him and want to see him die every time he utters a slur. It's a compliment to his acting ability considering a majority of the story is done by himself. The dolls have a very creepy look to them and combined with their viciousness, can be quite scary. This story also includes some stop-motion animation, which looks OK for the time, but could have been better. There is a decent amount of action and one very gory scene at the end.

7.5/10

Hard-Core Convert

The final story in tells the tale of gang-banger Crazy K (Lamont Bentley, Moesha, The Parkers), an acquaintance of the three men visiting the funeral home. After a life of violence and murder, Crazy K is shot by three unseen assailants and taken to prison. He is offered a chance at getting out early by Dr. Cushing (Rosalind Cash, The Omega Man, Wrong Is Right). The only catch is that he has to go through an experimental rehabilitation program. K is placed in a cell next to a white supremacist who talks about killing blacks. Angered, K punches him in the face only to cause the supremacist to laugh. He asks K what race were the people that he killed, silencing K. Dr. Cushing puts K through a series of borderline-torture exercises, showing him the consequences of his actions. He is forced to watch scenes of gang violence coupled with pictures of lynchings and the KKK. K is put in a sensory deprivation chamber and starts seeing all of his murder victims. He rejects his responsibility and Dr. Cushing warns him that he will not be given a second chance. Will Crazy K own up to his mistakes and how are Stack, Ball, and Bulldog connected to it?

In Europe, people pay good money for this treatment

Hard-Core Convert has a heavy social message and brings up the issue of responsibility in today's society. It's well done and brings up import issues. I can see where some people may be turned off if they're just looking for a simple horror movie. I was very uneasy about seeing the real-life pictures of lynchings, but that's the point of showing them. It does border on shaming the audience, but real-life horrors are far more disturbing than anything a movie can produce. This story does have a fair amount of psychological horror, but not a lot in the way of traditional horror. The social message is the main purpose of the story and some may be turned off by it. It's still a decent story and with an important message.

6.5/10

Overall, Tales From The Hood is a fun horror anthology with a lot of variety. The cast is very strong with some good performances coming from David Alan Grier, Tom Wright, and Clarence Williams III. While some stories are better than others, none are bad and offer the audience something different. There are some fun death scenes and a good amount of violence and gore. The movie has a lot of social commentary which will understandably turn off some viewers. I never felt lectured at and never felt that the movie was geared towards a different audience. I'm surprised that there haven't been any sequels to Tales From The Hood. Other urban horror anthologies have come out, like Snoop Dogg's Hood Of Horror and Nite Tales, but neither hold a candle to Tales From The Hood.

7.5/10

Day 155: Dead Silence

Dead Silence

Is that puppet giving me the finger?

Pediophobia is the fear of dolls. It's a fairly common phobia that can range from small porcelain dolls to electronic baby dolls. Thankfully, I don't suffer from that phobia. Sure, certain dolls can be creepy looking, but I don't fall into a heap of crying flesh whenever I see a Cabbage Patch kid. The “evil doll” subgenre of horror is nothing new. I've even reviewed a few like Demonic Toys and Dolls. They were most famously portrayed by Talking Tina in The Twilight Zone's “Living Doll” and Chucky from Child's Play. Since then, there hasn't been a new doll-based movie to really break out into the mainstream. Maybe it's time for a doll resurgence in horror.

Dead Silence is a 2007 horror movie starring Ryan Kwanten (True Blood, Summerland) as Jamie Ashen. A package containing a creepy-looking ventriloquist dummy named Billy is anonymously dropped off at Jamie's apartment. He briefly leaves and when he returns, he finds his wife Lisa brutally murdered with her tongue ripped out with Billy lying near her. Jamie is questioned by Det. Jim Lipton (Donnie Wahlberg, Dream Catcher, Saw II), but is not arrested. Jamie goes back to his old hometown of Ravens Fair to bury Lisa. He visits his estranged father (Bob Gunton, The Shawshank Redemption, Demolition Man), who has just suffered a stroke) and his new wife, Ella. Jamie confronts his father about ventriloquist Mary Shaw, a local legend who cut out her victim's tongues. Following Lisa's funeral, Jamie comes across Mary Shaw's grave along with the graves of all her dolls. He reburies Billy, but Billy turns up in his motel room, along with Det. Lipton who is still pursuing Jamie. The next morning, Jamie steals Billy and meets with Henry the mortician who tells Jamie about Mary Shaw's history. During a show, Mary was heckled by a young boy named Michael Ashen. Michael disappeared soon after. Mary was killed by his family and townspeople and her tongue was cut out. Mary has now come back, killing the Ashen family and the town of Ravens Fair by ripping out their tongues when they scream. Jamie goes to the old theater where Mary Shaw lived, joined by Det. Lipton. They find the body of Michael Ashen along with 100 of Mary's dolls. Mary is there as well, looking to finish off Jamie. Will he be able to stop her?

And will she use sunscreen?

For being a doll-based movie, there really isn't much action involving the dolls. Sure, they're around, turning their heads and moving their eyes, but that's really it. I expected a doll to chase after people with a butcher knife or trip someone down the stairs. Instead, we really get a ghost revenge story. Why bother have a shitload of dolls if you're not going to have fun with them? It doesn't have to be over-the-top like Demonic Toys or Puppet Master, but you might as well use them if you have them. Dead Silence reminded me a lot of Darkness Falls; the local legend, a nursery rhyme, an adult coming back to the town he left, an old lady seeking revenge from beyond the grave. Even the both town's names are hilariously ominous. The story is pretty uninspired and not particularly original. They try to go for a spooky atmosphere, but every scene has a bland grey wash to it that makes everything look dull and boring.

The movie was touted as being from the creators of Saw. I enjoyed the first Saw movie, but not enough to care about the creators. The doll from the Saw franchise is show in the foreground in one scene, which was a nice touch. The movie doesn't have violence anywhere near the levels of Saw. There is some action, but it's not particularly excited. The dialogue is weak and the characters are boring. The acting is fine, but not enough to carry the movie. There's a few decent effects and the makeup used to show Mary Shaw's victims actually looks pretty scary. The movie goes for a twist ending that falls flat and is completely unnecessary. A movie like this didn't need a twist ending and it really reflects poorly on the rest of the film. Note to filmmakers: If it doesn't need a twist, don't do it. Don't be M. Night Shyamalan.

Laaaaaaaaaaa!

Dead Silence leads you to believe that you are going to be watching a movie with killer dolls and instead gives us a typical and uninspired ghost story. I thought I was getting "Dolls" and ended up with "Darkness Falls". Why bother having all those dolls if you're not really going to use them? The acting is passable, but the dialogue and story just don't work. The movie is brought down especially hard by an unnecessary twist ending. There's a few startling moments and an overall creepiness with the dolls, but it's not particularly scary. If you suffer from pediophobia, you might be terrified, but if not, you'll just shrug your shoulders. What should have been a crazy, violent romp was just a worn-out, tired revenge story with a ghost. We've seen it all before, so there's no need to bother with Dead Silence.

3/10

Day 74: Dolls

Dolls

I'm sticking with G.I. Joes

I remember seeing a box for Dolls in my local video store. That first sentence probably doesn't make sense to anyone under 18. Well, back in the old day, people use to drive to a store that allowed them to rent videos and video games in exchange for money. Movies came on video cassettes and were played in a VCR (or Betamax if you were one of the 10 people to own one) This was before laptops and Netflix, and torrents. Now that I'm done with the old man talk, I remember seeing this movie in the store. It didn't particularly scare me, but it managed to stick with me all these years. It was finally time to watch Dolls.

Directed by Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator, The Pit and the Pendulum), Dolls takes place at an eerie English manor. Young Judy is on vacation with her jerk of a father, David, and nasty stepmother, Rosemary. Their car gets stuck in the mud when a freak thunderstorm occurs and they are forced to take refuge in the old mansion. The mansion is inhabited by an kindly if not strange old couple named Gabriel (Guy Rolfe, Puppetmaster series, Ivanhoe) and Hilary. To Judy's delight, Gabriel explains that he is a doll maker and the house is filled with dolls. Gabriel gives Judy her own doll, named Punch. They are soon joined by friendly Ralph (Stephen Lee, War Games, Quantum Leap) and British punk rockers Isabel and Enid. Ralph is very nice to Judy, far nicer than her parents. Meanwhile, Isabel decides to rob the house of it's antiques and goes off on her own. While she's ransacking the house, she is viciously attacked by the now-animated dolls in the house. Judy sees Isabel being dragged off and tells Ralph. He believes her, but her parents and Enid do not. Soon Enid and Rosemary are both murdered by the dolls. David thinks Ralph is the cause of the murders and tries to kill him. Will Ralph and Judy be able to survive her father and the killer dolls?

I'm cheering for the dolls in this one

With a name like Dolls, you have a pretty good idea of what is going to happen in the movie. It's no secret that dolls are going to come to life and start killing people. It certainly brings to mind other killer doll movies, such as Child's Play, Puppetmaster, and Demonic Toys. The real challenge is to make it an entertaining movie and for the most part, the movie succeeds. Dolls has a fairly good fear factor especially the creepy animated faces of the dolls. The slight grins and moving eyes can make you shudder in their sheer evilness. There is a decent amount of blood and some creative violence. There is some humor to lighten to the mood, but it's not particularly funny. References to Punch and Judy are particularly maddening to me. A movie from 1987 referencing a puppet show with roots tracing back in 1662. 1662! It's even more dated in 2012. That's like a LOLCats reference in a movie made in 2317.

The acting is good for the most part. Guy Rolfe is particularly great and the doll maker, combining an uneasy creepiness with a grandfatherly kindness. Stephen Lee is pretty is pretty lovable in his role as the child-at-heart Ralph. He wins the audience over with his innocence and attention towards Judy. Unfortunately, Dolls does suffer from the curse of the annoying child in horror movies. Judy is supposed to be a sympathetic character because of her awful parents, but she's just too annoying. Most of blame should go to the writers and not the young actress. Horror movies need to learn that not every kid is stupid and not every kid is annoying. 

But references to Madonna are

Dolls may not be on most horror movies lists, but it certainly has some good horror moments. It has a scary atmosphere and enough violence to keep the audience entertained. The story is basic, which can either be a blessing or curse, depending on the viewer. The acting is good, though some characters are overly annoying. The humor can be forced and painful at times. While it's not a must-see movie, it's still worth your time if you're in need of watching something different.

7/10