Day 354: The Mummy

The Mummy

Mummy is the word

As I child, I was really scared of mummies. At the Natural History Museum, I was terrified to go into the mummy exhibit. They may not be the first thing that comes to mind when we think of monsters and things that go bump in the night, but when you think about it, they are actually quite scary. While it's great that there are tons of movies with giant city-destroying monsters, vampires, werewolves, and extraterrestrial clowns, none of them are actually real. Mummies actually exist and can be seen up close. These are actual rotting corpses from thousands of years ago that may or may not be cursed. That's scary as hell! It's no surprise that there has been a slew of mummy-based horror movies.

The Mummy is a 1932 horror film from Universal Studios starring Boris Karloff (Frankenstein, The Mask Of Fu Manchu) as Imhotep. During an archaeological expedition in Egypt, Sir Joseph Whemple (Arthur Byron, Fog Over Frisco, The Man With Two Faces) discovers the mummy, Imhotep and the fabled Scroll of Thoth. His friend and occultist Dr. Muller (Edward Van Sloan, Dracula, Frankenstein) warns that the artifacts he has discovered are cursed and begs him to burn the scroll. During their discussion, Sir Joseph's assistant Ralph Norton (Bramwell Fletcher, Svengali, The Undying Monster) reads an ancient spell that gives life to the mummy behind him. The mummy takes the Scroll of Thoth and, upon seeing the living corpse, Norton is overcome by uncontrollable fits of hysterical laughter. Norton was committed to an asylum after the fateful night and eventually died. Ten years later, Sir Joseph's son Frank (David Manners, The Black Cat, The Death Kiss) and Professor Pearson (Leonard Mudie, Adventures Of Superman, Cleopatra) are approached by a mysterious man named Ardath Bay, an Egyptian with archaeological knowledge. He leads them the location of Imhotep's lover, Princess Ankh-es-en-amon's tomb. After digging, the treasures and mummy are donated to the Cairo Museum. It is revealed that Ardath Bay is in fact the resurrected mummy Imhotep and he intends to bring his love back to life. Bay kills Sir Joseph when he tries to stop his nefarious plans. Using his mystical powers, Bay mesmerizes Helen Grosvenor (Zita Johann) who bears a striking resemblance to Ankh-es-en-amon. Will Frank be able to stop the mummy before it's too late?

Who ordered the Mummy, extra crispy?

It's important to mention that despite being one of, if not the first mummy-based horror movies, there is no shambling mummy chasing after people. That comes in later mummy movies. We only see the actual mummy in the very beginning. Instead, we get Ardath Bay who looks like a raisin covered in mud. Boris Karloff plays the part very well and manages to make the character very creepy with his bass voice and unmoving face. I was disappointed that we didn't get the usual mummy look that I was expecting, but that can be blamed on pop culture. The rest of the cast plays their roles well enough, though David Manners isn't exactly the best leading man from Hollywood at the time. There is a decent amount of action for the time with a few scenes of violence.

The story itself is fairly decent, though it lacks the proper amount of pacing and horror seen in Dracula. The plot moves very quickly and with a run-time of about an hour and ten minutes, things feel very rushed. The scene where Norton sees the mummy alive and is overcome with laughter is quite unnerving even 80 years later. Sadly, this is really where the horror ends. The movie lacks the number of scares even during the Universal era of horror movies. What The Mummy lacks in scares, it makes up for in atmosphere. The movie has good lighting which creates long and unnatural shadows, conveying suspense and fear. The movie manages to squeeze in a little romance between Frank and Helen, but it all feels very convenient for the sake of the story. When looking at the Brendan Frasier Mummy movies, it's easy to see where some of their ideas came from.

Resurrecting your dead lover is serious business

The Mummy is a classic Universal horror movie that spawned countless remakes, re-imaginings, sequels, and adaptations. Thanks to great atmosphere and mood, the movie belongs on the Universal monster's Mt. Rushmore along with Dracula, Frankenstein, and The Wolf Man. Personally, I think the Creature From The Black Lagoon should be on there as well, but he didn't have the impact on movies like The Mummy did. The movie lacks a lot of scares and the absence of seeing a mummy with it's wrappings, shambling around after people is disappointing. Mummies should be scary, but the movie made a mistake by turning the mummy into a man. Boris Karloff is very good as Ardath Bay and the supporting cast is good enough to keep things going. The pacing of the movie is very quick which makes everything else feel rushed. While it is certainly a classic, I feel that Dracula, Frankenstein, and The Wolf Man are far better movies. Still, it's worth your time to see Boris Karloff in another fun monster movie role.

7/10

Day 324: Monster Brawl

Monster Brawl

Where's The Undertaker and Kane?

I admit it. I'm a professional wrestling nerd. I am well aware that the results are predetermined (it's not fake, it's predetermined. Get it right), but I am still wildly entertained by it. I was a huge Hulkamaniac when I was younger, but became disinterested in the mid-90's. It may come as a shock to some that know me, but I pretty much missed the entire “Monday Night Wars”. While professional wrestling was at it's zenith of popularity, I wasn't watching. I felt like it was kid's stuff. I randomly became interested again while flipping through channels and saw that both Mr. Perfect and Big Boss Man, wrestlers from my childhood, were back in the WWE. An occasional watch became a weekly love affair that has extended to this day, going to live events and watching pay-per-views. I know, I'm a dork, but I'm perfectly OK with that. Being a fan things outside the mainstream tend to go together. Comic books, horror movies, heavy metal, wrestling. It was only a matter of time before there was a wrestling horror movie.

Monster Brawl is a 2011 independent horror comedy starring Dave Foley (The Kids In The Hall, Suck) as play-by-play announcer Buzz Chambers and Art Hindle (The Brood, Invasion Of The Body Snatchers) as color commentator “Sasquatch” Sid Tucker. An independent wrestling promoter and self-professed horror nerd has gathered eight monsters from across the globe and through time to compete in the ultimate monster battle. The combatants are seperated into two categories: Undead and Creatures. On the Undead side is Frankenstein, The Mummy, Zombie Man, and Lady Vampire. On the Creatures side is Cyclops, Werewolf, Witch Bitch, and Swamp Gut. The battles take place inside a wrestling ring set amidst an abandoned and cursed graveyard. Jimmy “Mouth Of The South” Hart of WWF/E and WCW fame announces the combatants as we are treated to background clips of each monster. Each clip reveals a little bit of each monster. For example, Zombie Man is the product of the army and managed by the maniacal Colonel Crookshank (Kevin Nash of WWF/E and WCW fame, Punisher). UFC referee Herb Dean referees the match to ensure the rules aren't broken, but he is killed in the first match. Which classic monster will reign supreme and prove once and for all who is the baddest monster in the world?

"Say it's fake again. I dare you."

If the above rundown of the movie felt like it was short on story, character development, and all the other hallmarks of a typical movie, you'd be right. Monster Brawl pulls no punches (sorry for the terrible pun) and makes no bones (sorry, another bad one) about what type of movie it is. Like the SpikeTV show Deadliest Warrior, Monster Brawl takes every 7 year-old's question of “Who would win in a fight?” There was really only two ways of doing this movie: lots of plot and story with a little bit of actual fighting or lots of fighting and no real story. They went with the latter and I'm OK with that decision. If you're looking for an actual movie with story, plot, emotions, and love interests, you're going to be sorely disappointed. The little background clips are fun and help break up the dark monotony of the graveyard and wrestling ring.

"We're the real monsters, baby!"

The fights play out like typical wrestling matches with clotheslines, jumps off the top turnbuckle, and occasional outside interference from managers. Each fighter has skill in the ring, some even better than those in WWE and TNA. The movie obviously had help laying out the matches from professionals which is great because they would be a mess otherwise. They have a good amount of psychology and good back and forth action. Each fighter cuts a promo before their match which are fun, but by no means hysterical. Dave Foley and Art Hindle are funny and have good chemistry. Foley channels his inner Howard Cossell while Hindle, dressed similar to Jim Ross from WWE, is more of a typical veteran color commentator. Lance Henriksen (Pumpkinhead, Millenium) lends his gravelly voice as the narrator during the background segments. Fans of the Mortal Kombat will enjoy the voice-overs during the fight shouting “Excellent!” and “Disturbing!” It's fun to see Jimmy Hart and Kevin Nash, but I would've liked to see more professional wrestlers throughout the movie. I'm sure they could have used the paycheck. Wrestling fans should not be surprised that Nash didn't “do the job” even in a movie. 

What a slobberknocker!

There's not a whole lot to Monster Brawl, but it is still immensely fun to watch. Writer/Director Jesse T. Cook knows exactly what he is going for with this movie. Rather than muddling around with a half-hearted story, he goes right for the action. The final fight is a little long and I felt the ending could have been better in my opinion. The fighting is good as the actors are all skilled and someone with wrestling knowledge clearly helped lay out all the matches. The monsters all look good and there is a nice variety to pick from. If you're not a wrestling fan, you'll still get a kick out of all of the fights, but don't expect much of an emotional connection to any character. For the wrestling dorks out there that also love horror, Monster Brawl is a must see. Regardless of the story (or lack thereof), I was still highly entertained.

8/10

Day 314: Tales From The Darkside: The Movie

Tales From The Darkside: The Movie

Reading is FUNdamental!

While we all love horror movies, horror television shows are just as good, and sometimes better. I'm not talking about The Walking Dead or the horrendous American Horror Story. I mean the old-school horror, that didn't require lots of gore or ghost rape (seriously, fuck American Horror Story). The most famous, of course, is The Twilight Zone. The Twilight Zone is so good that they still show it on television over 50 years later. Other horror shows followed, most notably The Outer Limits. In the 1980's, a second tier of horror television shows came out, including Freddy's Nightmares: A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Series and Tales From The Darkside. Seeing the success from horror anthology movies like Creepshow and The Twilight Zone movie, Tales From The Darkside followed up with a full-length movie of their own.

Tales From The Darkside: The Movie is a 1990 horror anthology containing three stories, plus on wraparound story that runs throughout. The movie begins with a housewife named Betty (Deborah Harry, lead singer for Blondie) preparing for a dinner party. The main course is a little boy (Matthew Lawrence, The Hot Chick, Mrs. Doubtfire) whom she kidnapped and has been feeding cookies to fatten him up. To delay his death, the boy reads three stories from the book Tales From The Darkside.

Call me!

Lot 249

The first story “Lot 249” stars Steve Buscemi (Resevoir Dogs, The Big Leboswki) as Bellingham, a poor graduate student who specializes in antiquities. Bellingham has just lost out on a scholarship to the wealthy and crooked Lee (Robert Sedgwick, Die Hard With A Vengence, Damages). Bellingham has just acquired a large crate labeled “Lot 249” which he opens with the help of Lee and his friend Andy (Christian Slater, Heathers, Interview With A Vampire. Inside the crate is a mummy and later that night, Bellingham is able to reanimate it. In search of revenge, Bellingham uses the mummy to brutally murder Lee for sabotaging his chance at the scholarship. Lee's girlfriend and Andy's sister Susan (Julianne Moore, Boogie Nights, The Big Lebowski) plants a stolen item in Bellingham's room which later gets him expelled. He sends the mummy after her who cuts open her back and stuffs it with flowers, just like in the mummification process. Andy learns that Bellingham has reanimated the mummy and kidnaps him. What does Andy have planned and what will happen to the mummy?

"Whoa! Look at the hieroglyphics on her!"

Lot 249 is an adaptation of a Sir Arthur Conan Doyle story which should come as no real surprise. The story has that old-time feel to it with very little in the way of updating. That's perfectly fine in terms of the story itself. By today's standards, it could be considered tame and even a little bland. It's helped along thanks to good performances by up-and-coming stars like Buscemi and Moore. There are some good scenes of violence and gore throughout the story which keeps things interesting. The ending is very similar to Creepshow's “Something To Tide You Over” in it's execution, but I'm fine with that because I enjoyed that story as well. Overall, Lot 249 is a decent, if tame story with some good acting and fun violence.

7/10

Cat From Hell

The second story is “Cat From Hell,” a Stephen King story adapted by George Romero. Drogan (William Hickey, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Major Payne) is a wealthy eldery man who hires a hit man named Halston (David Johansen aka Buster Poindexter, Scrooged, Freejack). Drogan offers Halston $100,000 to kill a black cat inside his house. He is convinced that the cat killed his sister, her friend, and his servant. Despite his best attempts, he cannot kill the cat himself. Drogan believes the cat is a punishment because the pharmaceutical company he owned tested on cats, killing thousands of them. Surprised at such an easy target, Halston is soon surprised at how difficult killing the cat proves to be. The cat beings to stalk Halston who becomes increasingly scared. Who will win, the hit man or the cat?

"I told you to knock before coming in my room!"

On paper, Cat From Hell seems like a fun horror story. A simple black cat is killing the people around an evil old man. The story presents the killings as possible accidents or from the wild imagination of a deranged man. Unfortunately, the movie shows the cat committing the acts in a very silly way. Drogan talks about cats stealing the breath from a person's body. We then see the cat, put it's paw to a person's lips. OK, it's a little silly, but I can work with it. Then, the cat attaches itself to the person's face as they scream and thrash about. It went for slightly believable to wacky in seconds. The story is a little too long for my liking, which is never good when dealing with short stories. It does have one scene though that is downright impressive in terms of it's shock and gore. I don't want to ruin it for anyone because it is that good, so you'll have to see it for yourself. Cat From Hell is a good story, but it does swerve out of horror and borders on silly at certain times.

6/10

Lover's Vow

The final story is “Lover's Vow” starring James Remar (Highlander, Dexer) as a struggling artist named Preston. One night, Preston witnesses a gruesome murder at the hands of a hideous gargoyle-like monster. The monster speaks to him, making him swear to never speak of the event. Soon after the promise, Preston meets Carola (Rae Dawn Chong, Time Runner, Cyrus) and they soon fall in love. Preston's art career begins to turn around and he builds a happy life with Carola. Ten years later, Preston and Carola have two wonderful children and live life comfortably. The event with the monster has begun to haunt Preston and the guilt of witnessing the murder eats away at him. Will he be able to keep his promise and what are the consequences if he does not?

No amount of concealer will cover that up

Yeeeeesh. What in the bloody hell is this story? It's more like a half-thought than a story. Too much focus is given on the romance between Preston and Carola rather than horror. The monster itself looks like a cross between a gremlin and guacamole. It has a lot of detail, but looks too similar to other monsters we have seen. The end is completely random and raises a lot of questions. I don't like to spoil, but I have to in order to talk about why this story is terrible so SPOILER ALERT. It turns out Carola is actually the monster, who reverts back to her true form after Preston breaks his promise. What? Why did the monster do all of this? Why did the monster kill someone and make Preston promise not to tell anyone? Why did it become a human and fall in love with Preston? Why was it able to have kids that also turned into monsters after the broken promise? WHY? WHY? WHY? The small bright spot is the great transformation scene at the end It's all so incredibly stupid and to top it off, it's too long. That's not a good combination.

1.5/10

Tales From The Darkside: The Movie is considered by some to be the 3^rd Creepshow, but I have to disagree. Both Creepshows are far more entertaining than this movie. It lacks the creativity, humor and good horror that Creepshow contained. Creepshow also had the good sense to keep each story relatively short. The three stories in Tales From The Darkside are all too long and none are particularly good. The movie does have some good gore and violence so that's at least something. The acting is good and the direction is fine. The first two stories are decent. Not great, but decent. The third goes off the rails and crashes into a mountain made of napalm. Ultimately, Tales From The Darkside: The Movie is an OK watch with some good moments, but it is nowhere near the level of Creepshow or The Twilight Zone.

5/10

Day 236: Bubba Ho-Tep

Bubba Ho-Tep

Don't be cruel

Bruce Campbell is best known for his role as Ash from the Evil Dead/Army of Darkness movies. His role in the USA Network television show Burn Notice has brought Bruce Campbell's brand of wackiness to a wider audience. With a wide array of movies and television appearances, Bruce Campbell has always essentially played “Bruce Campbell” similar to how Tom Cruise always plays “Tom Cruise” in a movie. The situations may change, but you're pretty much getting the same guy in just about every movie. That's OK because Bruce Campbell is so entertaining. Sometimes you forget how good of an actor he actually can be. Today's review is a special request for my dad. If you would like to request a movie for me to review, please leave me a comment or send a tweet to @365DaysofHorror.

Bubba Ho-Tep is a 2002 horror comedy, based on the story by Joe Lansdale, starring Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead, My Name Is Bruce) as Elvis Presley. In the 1970's, Elvis became disillusioned with his fame and wanted a way out. He went down to Texas and met Sebastian Haff, an Elvis impersonator. They agreed to switch places, leaving the real Elvis just enough money to get buy and a contract to switch back if he ever wanted. A barbecue accident led to Elvis's trailer exploding, burning up the contract and any proof that he is the real Elvis Presley. Flash forward to present day, an elderly Elvis is living in an old-age home in eastern Texas. No one believes that he is the real Elvis, save for John F. “Jack” Kennedy (Ossie Davis, Malcolm X, Do The Right Thing) an African-American man who believes that he is the former President. Elvis has very little hope and even less meaning since his ex-wife and daughter don't even know he is there. Residents of the retirement home start to die and one night, Elvis is attacked by a giant scarab. He stabs it with a fork and burns it on an electric heater. The next night, Jack is attacked by a mummy who tries to suck his soul out of his body. Elvis eventually sees the mummy, dubbed Bubba Ho-Tep, and has a strange psychological vision of the mummy's past. All of this mystery and intrigue renews Elvis's interest in life so he and Jack begin investigating. During a museum tour of an Egyptian mummy, thieves stole the bus carrying the artifacts, but crashed it in the river outside the retirement home during a storm. With no one believing who they are or what is going on, it's up to Elvis and Jack to stop Bubba Ho-Tep. Will they be able to survive this soul-sucking monster?

Hell, I'd vote for them

Offbeat and original is probably the best way to describe Bubba Ho-Tep. It is an interesting choice to have an elderly Elvis and an African-American play President Kennedy. By doing so, this allowed the movie to take on a comedic air without resorting to jokes or slapstick. As you can tell, this isn't your typical horror or comedy movie. The horror doesn't pick up until about half-way through the movie, with the first part relying more in introspection and good old-fashioned character development. This extended character development is poignant and quite sad for a horror/comedy movie. The movie does border on depressing at certain points, far more than your average scary movie. The story is balanced by a good amount of comedy, most of which is generally funny. There were a few scenes with workers carrying out dead bodies which were supposed to be funny, but just didn't elicit any laughs. In terms of horror, there are a few flashes of fear, but nothing is particularly scary. If anything, the prospect of dying alone and forgotten in an old-age home is far scarier than any monster. I suppose that's the underlying message of the entire movie, but we could have used some more scares.

The best part about the movie is Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. If you didn't know Bruce Campbell was in this movie, you might actually not know he is playing Elvis. The makeup is good and Bruce is incredibly convincing in his role. After all these years of “Bruce being Bruce,” it's refreshing to see him in an iconic, if unexpected, role. Ossie Davis is great as well, pulling off a good comedic foil to Campbell's Elvis. The action is decent, with the final 15 minutes serving as the main apex. The mummy itself looks good and I actually would have liked to see more of it. Director Don Coscarelli (Phantasm, The Beastmaster) does a good job of capturing Joe Lansdale's story while being able to put it in a believable perspective. Coscarelli captures Elvis's despair very well and even if a soul-sucking mummy wasn't involved, this still would have been a compelling watch. My one complaint with the movie is certain scenes are chopped and sped up. Visually, it's just not pleasing.

Thank you. Thank you, very much.

Bubba Ho-Tep is a fun movie for horror and non-horror fans alike. More emphasis is put on acting and storytelling than action and violence. If you need lots of scares and blood, this movie isn't for you. If you like to think and feel, you'll get a lot of out Bubba Ho-Tep. Bruce Campbell is excellent as Elvis Presley, to the point where you may not even realize it's Bruce Campbell behind the makeup and hair. Ossie Davis is quite good as well, capping off a movie with a sly sense of humor. The horror portion of the movie is decent, but it's not the real focus. Bubba Ho-Tep is a good movie through and through.

8.5/10

Day 139: Tale Of The Mummy

Tale Of The Mummy

Mummy dearest

Despite doing over 100 horror movies reviews, I haven't watched a true mummy movie. Even though they fall under the classic monster movie category, I just never found mummies to be scary. Actually, that's not entirely true. I was terrified of the mummy exhibit at Museum of Natural History. Something about seeing corpses on display just didn't sit right with my younger self. When it comes to mummies on the big screen, though, they just don't do it for me. Maybe it's because they just look like a zombie wrapped in toilet paper. Maybe it's because the Brendan Fraiser Mummy trilogy was a fun adventure movie and not horror. Either way, it was time to give them a chance once again.

Tale of the Mummy is a 1998 horror movie starring Jason Scott Lee (The Jungle Book, Soldier) as Detective Riley. A group of archaeologists, led by Sir Richard Turkel, (Christopher Lee, Lord of the Rings, various Dracula movies) digging in Egypt discover the tomb of Talos, a powerful sorcerer/prince (I think, it's not really clear). They open the tomb, breaking the seal and unleashing a mystical wind, disintegrating their bodies. Half a century later, Sir Richard's log book ends up in the hands of his granddaughter Samantha (Louise Lombard, Hidalgo, CSI). Along with a team of archaeologists, Samantha excavates Talos's sarcophogus and puts it on display in London. A series of strange murders occurs throughout the city, with Detective Riley investigating. Each murder victim is found missing a specific body part. Riley teams up with Samantha and discovers that each missing body part was removed from Talos when he was mummified. Talos captures Samantha and it's up to Riley to stop him before the planets align and Talos is resurrected. But things are not what they seem.

"Damn am I dreamy!"

I have to commend the people involved with the movie for casting Jason Scott Lee in the lead role. It's not often you see someone of Hawaiian and Chinese descent in a lead role that isn't some sort of martial arts or historical movie. Kudos to them for going against the grain. They also wisely have Christopher Lee in the movie, though he's unfortunately in it for just a few minutes in the beginning. OK, now that I've gotten the compliments out of the way, I can get to the epic dressing-down that this movie deserves because holy fuck does it suck. This movie is a mess in every sense of the word. The story is half-assed, unclear, and flat-out boring. They tried to give a back story to Talos, but I couldn't follow and, frankly, I didn't care. There's a little side story with another archaeologist being played by Sean Pertwee (Soldier, The Mutant Chronicles) where he can see what Talos sees and then see what Sam sees and some other shit that doesn't really make sense or particularly affect the story.

Another major problem is the special effects. For a majority of the movie, Talos is a computerized mass of used toilet paper, floating through London and attacking people. Even for 1998, the effects used are embarrassingly bad. Remember the screen saver from Windows 95 that looks like a series of pipes going all over the place? That's what Talos looks like. It doesn't get much better when he gains an physical form which looks like a purple rubber alien suit. Didn't they realize that this looked at least a little stupid? The action is laughable and nothing in the movie is particularly scary or even exciting. The acting is fine, perhaps a little over-the-top at certain points, but it's one of the few bright spots in an otherwise black hole of entertainment.

Created in Final Cut Amateur

Mummies can be scary in the right hands. Unfortunately, the hands used to create Tale Of The Mummy must have been firmly jammed up someone's ass when they wrote this because it is incredibly shitty. The story is painfully bad, the special effects were bad even by 1998 standards. I read that there is actually a European version that is actually 20 minutes longer. Europeans already have enough to deal with with the collapse of the euro, they don't need to be tortured more by this terrible movie. Don't waste your time with Tale Of The Mummy.

2/10

Day 117: Waxwork

Waxwork

Hunter S. Thompson's brain on a good day

A friend of mine that reads my blog, who is a big horror fan himself, asked me if a movie quote came from Dolls or Waxwork. I had never seen Waxwork, so I wasn't entirely sure at the time. In fact, I had never even heard of Waxwork. I wasn't sure what to expect, especially since I had no idea what a “Waxwork” was. Would the movie be a mixture of House of Wax and Dolls or something completely different? Judging from the poster art, it looks like it could really be scary! Seriously, look at the poster. That is some crazy shit right there. Let's give it a shot and see if I can figure out where that quote came from.

Waxwork is a 1988 horror/comedy starring Zach Galligan (Gremlins, Infested) as rich student Mark Loftmore. Mark is having trouble in school and his ex girlfriend China is going out with the school jock. China and her friend Sarah are invited to a viewing of a Waxwork museum at midnight by the strange David Lincoln (David Warner, Cross of Iron, Tron) and are told to invite their friends. The group splits up to look at the very life-like displays and two of the friends step beyond the velvet rope and are transported into the living scene. One is a scene involving a werewolf that kills the boy that walked into the scene and the other involves China being attacked by Dracula. The wax scenes alter to make the dead bodies look like they are not real. Mark gets a detective to investigate the waxwork, but Lincoln shoves the detective into the scene containing The Mummy who kills him. Mark and Sarah do some research and find out that Mark's grandfather was murdered and the only suspect was a man that looks exactly like Lincoln. They speak with his grandfather's friend Sir Wilfred, and learn that Lincoln sold his soul to the devil, stolen trinkets collected by his grandfather from the 18 most evil beings who ever lived. By feeding each wax scene a soul, it will bring about the being's resurrection, which will destroy the world. Mark and Sarah go to the waxwork to burn it down, but Mark ends up in a zombie scene and Sarah in a Marquis de Sade. Mark escapes the zombie scene because he does not believe it is real. Sarah does not want to leave de Sade, but Mark convinces her that the scene is not real and they escape back to reality. Unfortunately, Lincoln was able to get 2 other souls to be sacrificed and the 18 beings come to life. Will Mark, Sarah, and Sir Wilfred be able to stop them and save the world?

"Did you eat all the raspberry pie?

This movie has an interesting, if not weird concept. I couldn't get over the fact that of the 18 most evil beings, most of them come from horror and literature. They use zombies, Dracula, the Mummy, the Wolfman, and body snatchers for example. If you're going to use fictional characters, why would you include the Marquis de Sade, who actually existed? I guess they wanted to get across some weird, Cinemax After Dark thing with Sarah (which was incredibly uncomfortable and unnecessary), but why use a real person? They clearly got lazy because we see flashes of unknown, generic beings like some sort of mutant baby and an axe murderer. What, there wasn't enough famous monsters to use? I like the idea, but the execution wasn't very good. Waxwork is also classified as a comedy, and while there are a few scenes worth cracking a smile at, it wasn't particularly funny.

It was weird seeing a movie where the protagonists are rich yuppies. Watching this through 2012 eyes, I can't really think of a reason why they made the characters rich snobs. It just seems odd and unnecessary. There are a few good scenes of violence and plenty of nods to classic movies and literature. The acting is decent, with David Warner putting on the best performance. Mihaly Meszaros (Big Top Pee-Wee, Freaked) is enjoyable in his small role as Hans the butler. The directing is good and makes the best of an odd and sometimes convoluted story.

So...incredibly...uncomfortable

Waxwork is an interesting and fun premise, but unfortunately the execution is poor. The movie doesn't know if it wants to be horror or comedy and achieves neither. The story is a bit confused and jumbled with logic taking a backseat to cramming in different classic horror references. There are some good scenes of violence and decent acting, but not enough to overcome the weak writing. Waxwork is good if you're looking for something from the 80s that you may not have seen before. Otherwise, you can probably skip it. Oh and to answer the question, the quote came from Dolls. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

4/10