The Return
Cataracts are no laughing matter
I remember watching the very first
episode of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer television series and
absolutely loving it. It had the perfect mixture of horror, action,
and genuinely funny comedy. What made the show work so well was the
strong performance of Sarah Michelle Gellar. She was a believable action star that was capable of being serious and quirky. She made
the jump to the big screen with such popular movies as Cruel
Intentions and The Grudge. After that, the movie choices became
questionable and she decided to focus on home life with her husband
Freddie Prinze Jr. Despite her later movies not doing so well, I am
at least aware that they exist, such as the Scooby-Doo movies and
Southland Tales. It was to my surprise that I came across a horror
starring Sarah Michelle Gellar that I never heard of before.
The Return is a 2006 horror thriller
starring Sarah Michelle Gellar (The Grudge, Buffy The Vampire Slayer)
as Joanna Mills. Joanna is a traveling representative for a trucking
company and agrees to take a business trip to her native Texas. She
has avoided the state for years after a troubled youth there.,
brought on by a car accident. There, she reconnects with an old
friend and her father, but begins to suffer from bizarre visions.
Strange occurrences such as hearing a man's voice, recurring music,
and seeing the inside of a bar she's never been to before begin to
effect her. Joanna begins to self-mutilate, or cut herself, to deal
with the visions, but they only become more specific with a man she
does not recognize harassing her. Joanna is able to find that the bar
she is seeing is actually in a small town in Texas called La Salle.
She goes to the town and meets a man named Terry Stahl (Peter
O'Brien, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Casualty) who was suspected of
murdering his wife years ago. They have a strong connection, but
Joanna's visions become more intense and get in the way of their
relationship. Her visions lead her to a mechanic in town and when she
questions him, the mechanic becomes hostile and begins to follow her.
How are the visions connected to Terry and his wife and what does the
mechanic want with Joanna?
Where is Giles, Willow, and Xander when you need them?
There is a good reason why I have never
heard of The Return. The movie tries so hard to be creative , and
while I commend the creators for at least trying to do things
differently, it just doesn't work. It's forced to be creative because
the story is convoluted and confused. The story unfolds in such a
disjointed way that it almost impossible to follow what is happening.
It doesn't help that the pacing of The Return is akin to a death
march through the desert. It's hard to keep interested in a movie
where very little happens and any action that does occur is either
confusing or shot so poorly that you can't focus. A steady camera
would have done wonders for my eyes and my brain. A shaky camera was
probably necessary to convey a real sense of fear since the story
wasn't capable of achieving real emotion. While there are some
elements of horror, the movie is closer to a thriller, albeit with
very little thrills. It goes for psychological, but is never capable
of tapping into the human imagination or psyche.
Sarah Michelle Gellar tries to make the
best of a bad story, but comes off as confused as the audience. I
suppose that's a good thing since we are supposed to be along the
ride with her, but it feels like she's only read 1 page ahead in the
script and has no idea what is going to happen. Peter O'Brien is far
too broody for my liking. The relationship between Joanna and Terry
is far too convenient for the story's purposes and is entirely
unbelievable. Director Asif Kapadia (The Warrior, Far North) does not
capture the horror necessary to make the movie thrilling. Many scenes
look like they were shot in a sepia tone, which I suppose fits in
with the Texas landscape, but is not visually pleasing. The movie has
a little bit of action, but not enough to keep things interesting.
OK, so the movie does one thing right
The Return tries to be a horror
thriller and manages to be neither. The story is too weak and the
pacing is so slow I am surprised moss isn't growing on the screen.
There is very little action to speak of and the suspense in the movie
is countered by the disjointed storytelling and shaky camera work. It
doesn't help that the acting isn't very good and the relationship
between Joanna and Terry is not believable. Like I said, there is a
good reason why most people haven't heard of The Return. Little
advertising combined with a bad story has banished this movie to the
rental shelves where it should stay forever.
2.5/10
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