Day 169: Creepshow

Creepshow

It's like a peepshow, but scary for a good reason

Happy Father's Day everyone. I hope you got something special for you dad or if you're a dad yourself, I hope you had a good day. And even if you didn't celebrate the day, I hope you enjoyed yourself because you should. My love of horror was passed down to me from my dad and it all started with a VHS copy of Dawn Of The Dead. “It has zombies in a mall,” he said and I have been hooked ever since. The wonderful world of horror allows people to come together and bond. It also has a great tradition of having stories based off holidays. While I'm still waiting for a Hannukah-based horror movie, a story in Creepshow gives me an excuse to review it.

Creepshow is a 1982 horror anthology written by Stephen King (The Shining, It) and directed by George Romero (Night Of The Living Dead, Monkey Shines). The movie consists of five stories and include an ensemble cast of actors and actresses. Tom Savini (Dawn Of The Dead, The Burning) handled the makeup and special effects. The movie begins starts with young Billy, a young fan of the comic book Creepshow. His father, Stan (Tom Atkins, The Fog, Lethal Weapon) slaps him for reading such “crap” and throws the comic in the garbage. That leads into our first story.

“Father's Day”

Father's Day stars Jonathan Lormer (Star Trek, The Twilight Zone) as Nathan Gratham, the miserly patriarch of a rich, spoiled family that has been involved in illegal operations. On Father's Day, Nathan's daughter Bedelia, who had become emotionally unstable for putting up with her father's demands for so many years, finally snapped and smashed his head in. Years later, several of Nathan's descendants, granddaughter Sylvia, great grandchildren Richard and Cass, and Cass's husband, Hank (Ed Harris, The Rock, Enemy At The Gates) gather on Father's Day for dinner. Bedelia arrives late to pay respect to her dead father at his grave. Nathan's rotten corpse rises from the grave in search of his traditional Father's Day Cake. Will the family be able to survive the zombified Nathan or will he finally get his cake?

I think he needs more than just cake

This story is a good first start for the movie. It starts off a little slow establishing characters, but things really pick up once Nathan rises from the grave. There is some internal conflict from the audience because on the one hand, we kind of hate Nathan because he's a mean, old bastard and now he's a murderous zombie. On the other hand, he was murdered and his descendants are all terrible people. Regardless, the story is fun, if a little simple, with good action and makeup. It may not be the best story in the bunch, but it has it's moments.

7.5/10

“The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill”

The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill (originally titled Weeds) stars Stephen King himself in the title role. Jordy is a simple country bumpkin who discovers a meteorite. He believes that the local college will pay him money for it, which would take care of his bank loan. The meteorite begins to ooze a strange glowing substance which Jordy unfortunately touches. A strange green plant-like organism begins to grow on Jordy's skin and in his home. It grows rapidly and itches him terribly The apparition of his dead father warns him not to take a bath, but the itching is too great and Jordy submerges himself in water. What will happen to Jordy after the bath and is there rain in the forecast?

Green is definitely your color

This is probably the shortest of the five stories, which is fine because there is not much to tell. That's not to say it isn't good, it's just one helpless man's story. While being simple, it creeps up on your (see what I did there?) and is actually far heavier than you'd expect. There is some humor and Stephen King actually plays the part very, very well. If you didn't know he was the writer, you'd think King was a full-time actor. The plant-like alien looks pretty good, especially when it covers the house. One complaint was his father appearing in a vision. It really came out of nowhere and was never really alluded to before or after. Also, I didn't like that the slow, goofy character was named Jordy. That's my name!

8.5/10

“Something To Tide You Over”

Something To Tide You Over stars Leslie Nielsen (The Naked Gun, Spy Hard) as Richard Vickers and Ted Danson (Cheers, Curb Your Enthusiasm) as Harry Wentworth. Richard's wife, Becky (Gaylen Ross, Dawn Of The Dead) has been cheating on him with Harry and Richard plans to take revenge on them. Despite his downright upbeat manner, Richard has snapped and wants to kill them both. Richard forces Harry at gunpoint into a hole on the beach and commands him to fill it with sand up to his neck. Richard puts a television in front of Harry so he can watch Becky, who is in the same predicament, drown when the tide rolls in. Richard, done with the deed, returns to his home to unwind. He is soon attacked by the seaweed-covered reanimated corpses of Harry and Becky. He loses his mind as his attempts to kill them fail. How can you kill something that is already dead?

Frank Drebin gets real

This is probably my favorite story in Creepshow and that is based almost solely on the performance of Leslie Nielsen. I loved his comedy work, so it was great to see him play a really evil character, all while doing it with a smile. It's a really interesting take on the character and it may not have worked if it wasn't done by Nielsen. He is extra awesome when he runs from the zombies and starts to lose his mind. Ted Danson also does a really good job. The story is pretty creative in that sick and twisted sort of way. There is a decent amount of action and a nice amount of fear. The makeup for the zombies could have been a bit better. Maybe it was all the seaweed on them. Regardless, it's still a good story with some great acting.

9.5/10

“The Crate”

The Crate stars Fritz Weaver (Marathon Man, Black Sunday) as Professor Dexter Stanley. A custodian discovers a 148 year-old crate beneath a stairwell at the college. He notifies Dexter and they decide to open the crate, unwittingly releasing a vicious, blood-thirsty creature. The creature, which is small and fur-covered, kills Mike and a graduate student who came to help. Stanley, unstable and hysterical tells his story to his friend and college, Professor Henry Northrup (Hal Holbrook, Into The Wild, The Fog). Mild-mannered Henry has been abused and embarrassed by his alcoholic wife, Wilma (Adrienne Barbeau, Escape From New York, The Fog). He sees this creature as a way to finally get rid of her once and for all. Henry concocts a story about Dexter beating up a girl to convince Wilma to come to the school and look underneath the stairs. What will happen to Wilma and how will the creature be contained?

Cheese!

This is another fun story aided by good performances. Hal Holbrook does very well as the beaten-down Henry looking to escape from his terrible wife. Adrienne Barbeau is great as the drunk and abusive Wilma. You really want her to be attacked by the creature and don't feel much remorse. The creature, which was like a cross between a mini-Yeti with a baboon face, looked too goofy for my taste. It's only show a few times, so it didn't kill the story, but it should have been a lot better. There is a good amount of violence and blood to keep us watching during the longest of the stories. At least it felt long because they had to establish Henry and Wilma's relationship before getting to the final act. It's necessary, but because they showed that in the middle of the story, it killed a little momentum. The acting really helped make this a good story.

9/10

“They're Creeping Up On You”

They're Creeping Up On You is the fifth and final story in Creepshow, starring E.G. Marshall (Tora! Tora! Tora!, 12 Angry Men) as the ruthless businessman Upson Pratt. Pratt suffers from mysophobia, which is a pathological fear of germs and contamination. He lives in a hermetically sealed apartment which becomes invaded by insects during a thunder storm. At first, he kills off the little bugs, just like the little people he fired and walked all over. He is soon overwhelmed from all sides by various insects. Will he be able to survive.

Donald Trump on a bad day

This is probably my least favorite of the stories. It's not bad, but it just doesn't have the same feel as the others. It comes off more like an episode of Tales From The Darkside than a cinematic story. E.G. Marshall is very good in his role, especially when he doesn't really interact with other actors. It has a few good scares and an overall feeling of dread. If you don't like bugs, you will be extra freaked out because they are literally everywhere. They're Creeping Up On You has good social commentary and some fun moments, but it doesn't measure up to the level of the other stories.

7/10

The movie ends with Billy using a voodoo doll on his father that he got out of an ad from Creepshow, with other ads referencing the previous stories. Stephen King is his usual wonderful self crafty this spooky and creative stories while George Romero does a great job directing. There is plenty of action and some real good scares. The ensemble cast really makes Creepshow something special. There is a little something for everyone in this movie and it is highly recommended. You should also check out the awesome horror punk/psychobilly band The Creepshow here and here Happy Father's Day!

9/10

Day 168: The Rite

The Rite

Give me a 'T'!

Quick, think of a movie where the Devil possesses someone and it's up to 2 priests, one suffering from a crisis of faith, to exorcise it. You're probably thinking The Exorcist, right? That's the problem with just about every possession/exorcism horror movie; they all sound like The Exorcist. It's almost unfair to compare anything that came after The Exorcist because they're just not going to come close. People were convinced that Satan was actually imprinted onto the film and people legitimately fled theaters in horror. You can't beat press like that. It's up to newer movies to set themselves apart and be special, not just rehash the same old thing. It helps to have Anthony Hopkins.

The Rite is a 2011 horror movie starring Colin O'Donoghue (The Tudors, Proof) as Michael Kovak and Anthony Hopkins (Silence Of The Lambs, Thor) as Father Lucas Trevant. Michael is disillusioned as a mortician, following in his father's (Rutger Hauer, Blade Runner, Hobo With A Shotgun) footsteps and decides to go to seminary school. He does not feel a true connection with God and even questions his existence. After being ordained, Michael writes a letter of resignation that is rejected by his superior. He is warned that his scholarship would be revoked and he would owe $100,000 in loans. After giving last rites to a woman dying after an accident, Michael is sent to Rome to study exorcisms in exchange for loan payments. In class, he meets a reporter named Angelina (Alice Braga, City of God, Predators) who is writing about exorcisms. Still an unbeliever, Michael is sent to see Father Lucas, a Welsh priest experienced in exorcisms. They meet with a young pregnant girl named Rosaria who appears to be possessed. Despite witnessing strange events, like Rosaria coughing up nails, Michael remains skeptical. A possessed Rosaria beings to address Michael and ask him very specific questions about his father and his faith. Her condition worsens and she is committed to a hospital where she eventually dies. Father Lucas is distraught and begins to act strangely. Michael learns that his father has had a stroke. He speaks to his father on the phone, but it interrupted by a doctor saying his father died earlier in the day. Michael begins to hear various voices torturing and testing him. Along with Angelina, Michael goes to Father Lucas only to find that he himself has become possessed. Will Michael be able to save Father Lucas and himself?

"Made in China"? What the Hell?!

The Rite is based on “actual events” from the book The Making of a Modern Exorcist. I'm not really sure what their definition of actual events are, but it gives an interesting perspective to the movie. Like I said, it's hard to not compare The Rite to The Exorcist. Both movies are very similar with the main difference being which character has a crisis of faith. This is your standard exorcism movie with very little in the way of actual horror. The spiritual journey of the characters is fine, if not a tad bit predictable. Sure, there's a few jolts here and there, but nothing particularly scary. If you're the religious type, you may find yourself frightened and affected with all the demon talk, but your average horror fan won't find much terror. The cinematography is very eerie and the shots of Rome give the movie an air of authenticity not seen in some other religious-heavy horror movies.

Anthony Hopkins really carries the movie. He can't act in a McDonald's commercial and make it compelling. He essentially plays two roles in the movie, one as Father Lucas and one as a demonic possession. He does both well, but some of the lines he is given as the demon are unintentionally hilarious. I almost feel bad that Sir Anthony had to say some of these ridiculous things. It's not the content that's bad, it just sounds like a 15 year old wrote them. Colin O'Donoghue gives a tepid performance, almost unsure of what he should be doing or feeling. Rutger Hauer is only briefly in the movie, which is a shame, but he does well enough. Despite some very good acting, the movie is way too long at almost 2 hours and the pace is far too slow. There's some action, but it's not enough for such a long movie. The effects and makeup are good, but I could have used more.

Does this collar make me look fat?

Based on the story, The Rite is very similar to The Exorcist. The Rite tries to become it's own movie with a more polished Hollywoodification of the whole exorcism genre. It's stylish and looks pretty, but lacks any real action or horror. Anthony Hopkins is great, but can only carry a movie so far. It's too long and the pacing is off, muting any real sense of dread. The Rite is by no means a bad movie, it's just OK and could have been much better. If you want to see a good acting performance, The Rite worth your time. Otherwise, no need to rush out and see it.

5.5/10

Day 167: YellowBrickRoad

YellowBrickRoad

Oh, it has an ending...

I don't like The Blair Witch Project. I had very little interest in it when it came out. Why I applaud their ability to get a huge buzz and “go viral” before going viral meant having lots of people watch a Youtube video of something getting hit in the balls, it just didn't appeal. I didn't understand what the big deal was about people getting lost in the woods and “found footage”. Come on, they're not going to show a movie in theaters across the country if people actually died. When the movie came to cable, I finally watched it and all my feelings towards the movie were confirmed. It was boring, rudderless, and annoying. By the end, I was cheering for the witch to kill them before someone screamed about that goddamn map again. Perhaps if the movie had a bigger budget, a deeper story and, you know, actors, maybe I would have liked it. Today's review explores just that; Does a bigger budget, story, and proper acting make a “lost in the woods” movie better?

YellowBrickRoad is a 2010 horror movie starring Michael Laurino as Teddy Barnes and Anessa Ramsey (The Signal, Footloose) as his wife Melissa. In the 1940's, the entire population of Friar, New Hampshire left town and walked up a winding trail leading into the woods. They left everything behind and were never found, leaving one survivor who was left a rambling, incoherent madman. Teddy and Anessa decide to find the trail in hopes of discovering new evidence and shedding light on what happened to the town. They are joined by their friend and colleague Walter, mappers Erin and her brother Daryl Luger, Jill the intern, and Cy Banbridge, a local forester. Their information about the trail falsely leads them to a movie theater, where a worker named Liv agrees to bring them to the trail if they let her come along. Liv takes them to the trail, marked by a rock with “Yellow Brick Road” written on it. The trip starts off well enough as the group travels deep into the woods. Walter is videotaping each crew member to ensure they still have their mental faculties. As the trip progresses, they begin to hear big band music blaring from an unknown source. At first, the group enjoys it, but it begins to wear on them. The group begins to break down and things come to a head when Daryl brutally murders his sister Erin all because she took a hat that he found. Death follows the group along with the inexplicable music. Will they reach the end of the trail and what will be waiting for them?

This would be considered an "action" shot

It's easy to compare YellowBrickRoad with The Blair Witch Project, but YBR has an interesting back story, better acting, and some creative ideas. The audience is interested in seeing what happens because the initial story of the townspeople disappearing is legitimately interesting. The first half of the movie holds our attention because of this, but unfortunately it's not enough to keep us interested. The movie stretches on for far too long with very little happening. Sure there are a few scenes of violence, but any true horror fan won't bat an eye at the killings or gore. The acting is good considering nothing really happens for most of the movie. In The Blair Witch Project, I was cheering for the witch to kill the annoying characters. In YellowBrickRoad, I was cheering for something to happen.

My biggest issue with the movie (other than being incredibly boring) is the ending. YellowBrickRoad was clearly made on the cheap and emphasizes imagination over action. That only goes so far and isn't enough to sustain an entire movie, especially when the payoff is so bad. They tried so hard to be clever and edgy and failed miserably. It's like they watched one too many episodes of Twin Peaks and said “Hey, the audience has suffered through this, let's totally fuck them over with an ending that makes no sense and will mess with their minds!” While the usage of random music playing is interesting and the weak connections to Wizard of Oz keep us on our toes, there's no real payoff to any of it. It was all a misdirection to keep the audience from walking out of the theater or watching something else.

Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel

Despite having a bigger budget, a more complex story, and better acting, YellowBrickRoad is just another “lost in the woods” movie. The acting is good and the scenery is very nice to look at. The movie has a few good ideas and for the first half, I was legitimately interested in what was going to happen. The movie fell apart when it was apparent that nothing of note was going to occur and I was even going to get some violence to keep me entertained. It became a chore to watch and the ending was infuriatingly bad. It didn't come out of left field, it came out of another park. I feel bad for anyone that paid money to see this movie. YellowBrickRoad is simply not worth your time.

3/10

Day 166: Silent Hill

Silent Hill

At least she doesn't have to go to the dentist

As I've said in my Resident Evil reviews, I'm not much of a gamer. It's not that I don't like video games. I actually like them a lot. I have fond memories of playing Nintendo and Super Nintendo as a kid. It's just one of those things where new systems are always coming out and they're all expensive and blah blah blah. Some people take their gaming very seriously, with their special gaming chairs, headsets, and all sorts of accessories. Many of those same people take their horror movies very seriously. When a famous video game is made into a movie, heads explode in anticipation and usually disappointment. Just ask the Super Mario Brothers movie or the Double Dragon movie. The Resident Evil franchise has done well on the big screen, so why not try a video game that is truly scary.

Silent Hill is a 2006 adaptation of a video game by the same name starring Radha Mitchell (Pitch Black, Man on Fire) as Rose Da Silva. Rose's adopted daughter Sharon suffers from sleepwalking and speaks of a place called “Silent Hill”. Silent Hill is a ghost town, vacated after a coal fire that continues to burn after 30 years. Against her husband Christopher's (Sean Bean, The Lord Of The Rings, Black Death) wishes, Rose drives with Sharon to West Virginia in hopes that visiting the town will bring her some sort of clarity. As they approach Silent Hill, police officer Cybil Bennet (Laurie Holden (The Mist, The Walking Dead) pursues them. Rose speeds towards the town when a little girl appears in the road. She swears to avoid the girl, who disappears, and crashes her car. When she wakes, Sharon is gone and Rose realizes she has made it to Silent Hill. It looks like it is snowing, but it is in fact ashes falling from the sky. Rose meets a woman named Dahlia Gillespie who talks about her own daughter Alessa being abused by the town and alludes that both of their daughters are the same person. Rose tries to get back to her car, but Cybil handcuffs her and they search for the road out of town. They are attacked by an armless, faceless creature that spits black acid out of it's chest. They explore the town in search of Sharon and fight off various deformed monsters while Christopher scours the town with officer Thomas Gucci. Rose and Cybil seek refuge in the town church while the monster Pyramid Head tears a woman apart. The church is home to a religious cult led by Christabella (Alice Krige, Deadwood, Stay Alive). Rose escapes, but Cybil and Sharon are captured It is revealed that Christabella and her followers believed Alessa to be a witch and burned her, which accidentally set the town aflame. Alessa survived, but her pain and rage led the the creation of her dark side while Sharon is the manifestation of the last of her light. Alessa must gain her revenge and enters Rose's body. Will Rose be able to save Sharon and help Alessa gain some measure of peace?

I never miss the Hot Ladies With Short Blonde Hair convention

Video games are becoming more and more like movies, so you might think that a video game actually becoming a movie would be easy. Horror is a good genre for the transition to occur, but it's still hard to pull off. I've never played Silent Hill before, so I'm not going to compare and contrast the differences. While Resident Evil was a zombie movie, it focused more on action scenes and guns. Silent Hill is a crazy monster video game and it's a crazy monster movie. The monsters are very scary looking and unlike typical horror movie creatures. They are the stuff out of nightmares and the entire makeup and effects team deserve a lot of praise. The look completely inhuman and make the film far scarrier. If you're like me and unfamiliar with the video game, you won't know who these monsters are. I don;t think they ever referred to the monster Pyramid Head by name and if they did, I missed it. I only know his name because I've seen clips of the game. I don't need the names and origin stories of every monster, but a little hint now and then would have gone a long way.

Speaking of long, this movie is far too long, clocking in at about 2 hours. There was no need for the movie to be this long. There are a number of scenes that could have been shortened or cut out completely. I like Sean Bean and he acts well, but his character could have been completely eliminated. I read a while ago that the movie was supposed to only have women leads in it, but the studio insisted on adding a husband character. I understand why, but it unnecessarily extended the movie far beyond the point of toleration. There are some good scares and plenty of scenes that will make you feel uncomfortable. There is a good amount of action and the acting is good throughout. The score, taken almost entirely from the video games, sounds great and really stands out. The story itself it just alright, starting out with a good, thrilling mysterious, but crashes and burns when all is revealed. On top of the weak reveal, the ending left me feeling empty and a bit confused. I think I understand it, but I'm not entirely sure.

At least he's not named "Pyramid Balls"

Making a movie based on a video game is never easy. The fans have very specific expectations, but the film must be made in such a way that non gamers can enjoy them. I have no idea if Silent Hill fit gamers' expectations, but as a horror fan I was unsettled by some scenes and bored with others. The movie is far too long and goes off into unnecessary scenes that kill the flow of the movie. Certain scenes definitely feel like a video game, running from building to building and coming up against different “bosses”. The acting is good and the makeup/special effects are great. The story starts out well, but loses steam towards the end. It has it's scary moments and a decent amount of action, but the ending is disappointing and vague. Ultimately, it's a decent horror movie with a few serious flaws that keep is from being great. Expect a sequel some time in 2013 or 2014.

6.5/10

Day 165: Primeval

Primeval

Attack of the gingivitis

It's been a while since I last reviewed an animal-based horror movie and with good reason. Most of them suck. I'm not talking about classics like Jaws or Cujo, I mean the shit avalanche of SyFy Channel movies like ice Spiders and Megashark vs. Crocosaurus. Those movies get a C-level star, spend 5 minutes on a story, and use about $50 to create a terrible CGI monster. It's entirely possible those movie would have been a lot better if the studios invested a little more time, effort, and money. The only way to find out is to watch a movie that does just that.

Primeval (not to be confused with the television show) is a 2007 film based off the true story of Gustave, a 20 foot man-eating crocodile in Burundi, Africa. The film stars Dominic Purcell (Prison Break, Blood Creek) as television news journalist Tim Manfrey and Orlando Jones (Evolution, The Replacements) as his cameraman Steven Johnson. Tim is linked to a falsified story about an elected official and is assigned to a story of a giant man-eating crocodile named Gustave in Burundi. He is joined by Steven and Aviva Masters (Brooke Langton, The Replacements, Sliders), a journalist who focuses on animal stories. When they arrive in the small African nation, they are warned of a dangerous warlord nicknamed Little Gustave. The country has been entrenched in a civil war for years between rival tribes. Their boat is attacked from the shore, but the group survives. They are met in a small village by their guide, Jacob Krieg, and wildlife expert Matthew. Their various attempts to capture Gustave fail with deadly results, but they are able to shoot him with a tracking device. While shooting scenic shots, Steven captures an execution by little Gustave. The guards protecting the group actually work for little Gustave and try to get the footage. Will they be able to survive the warlord and the giant crocodile?

Chew with your mouth closed

As far as creature features go, Primeval isn't that bad. It has a bigger budget, better special effects, and a more talented cast than most animal-based horror movies. The movie reminds me most closely of Anaconda with it's story based in an exotic location, good cast, and computerized giant animal. The movie attempts to include context to the local strife in Burundi which adds depth and danger to the story. It makes for a better viewing experience and doesn't make me want to rip my eyes out with a rusty spork. Usually a creature feature just throws an animal at you for an hour and a half. I could have actually used a bit more of the giant crocodile in Primeval, but I guess the “real” monster is little Gustave. That's fine, because it makes Primeval more of a legitimate movie, but when I watch a movie with a giant crocodile, I want to see that giant crocodile a lot.

Speaking of the giant crocodile, the CGI effects used to create the beast look decent. It's better than your typical animal movie, with more attention to detail, but it still looks heavily computerized. Perhaps that's why we didn't get to see it that often. The action is believable with more violence coming from people than the monster and there is a decent amount of suspense. The acting is good enough and makes for a better viewing experience. Orlando Jones is the comic relief and is able to get the audience to crack a few smiles. He had one line that absolutely baffled me, though. Something along the lines of slavery being a good thing because it got people out of dangerous Africa. WHAT?! How could someone write something like that, even if it is a joke. It's not Jones's fault, but that's just a crazy line and didn't need to be in the movie. 

Make 7 Up Yoursoh shit!

Primeval is proof that a horror movie based on a giant killer animal can be decent as long as it has a good cast, decent budget, and a story. Don't get me wrong, it's not like this movie is great or anything, it's just better than your average creature feature. I appreciate that they acknowledged the local civil war and used it to further the story. The special effects are decent and the acting helps carry the movie. There are some quality action scenes and a few laughs. While it's nothing great, Primeval is a decent watch and a lot better than your average animal movie.

6/10

Day 164: Bug

Bug

Excuse me, you have a face on your face

I'm not really one for conspiracies. Sure, they're kind of fun to read about in their own over-the-top sort of way. I don't believe that there's a group of people controlling the planet, I don't think the government is watching us through our cereal, and I don't think that Elvis was an alien. Like I said, they're kind of funny, but not based in reality. Not that that stops people from writing books, making videos, screaming from the sidewalks, or voting for Ron Paul. Conspiracies play well in fiction because the audience never knows exactly what is going on, which can create an exciting experience. In movies, it's even better because you get explosions, loud music, and in this movie, Ashley Judd.

Bug is a 2006 horror thriller based off a play of the same name written by Tracy Letts, starring Ashley Judd (Kiss The Girls, High Crimes) as Agnes White and Michael Shannon (Revolutionary Road, Boardwalk Empire) as Peter Evans. Agnes is a waitress living in a run-down motel, constantly afraid of her ex-husband Jerry (Harry Connick Jr., Independence Day, Dolphin Tale) who recently got out of jail. They had a son together named Lloyd who went missing years ago and Agnes has never recovered. Her friend R.C. Brings over Peter, who is quite, but is attracted to Agnes. In their loneliness, they connect with each other and make love. It's after having sex that they begin to have a bug infestation in their room. Sores begin to appear on both of their bodies. Agnes goes to the doctor who informs her that they aren't bug bites and in fact may be self-inflicted. Peter studies the bugs under a microscope and believes that they are eating his blood. He reveals that he was in the Army and was a test subject in strange experiments. He went AWOL and believes the government implanted him with the bugs. Peter rips out a tooth which he believes has an egg sack in side of it. When Agnes looks under a microscope, she sees millions of bugs. The descend into hysteria, covering the motel room in aluminum foil and bug zappers and digging deeper into the government conspiracy that they were brought together for a very specific reason. Are the bugs really there or are Agnes and Peter just insane?

"The government is in our elbows! Freedom! Liberty! Constitution! Ron Paul 2016!!11!"

Interesting is a good way to describe Bug. I honestly was expecting a movie about horrible alien bugs infesting a house or something along those lines. To my surprise, the movie is far more deeper than I could have ever expected. It's not your traditional horror movie, with the fear coming more from erratic behavior and the unknown than big, scary monsters. Confusing is another good way to describe Bug. The paranoia is palpable and you begin to question what exactly is going on. Sometimes it become frustrating because you just want to know what's going on. It didn't help that for half the movie, nothing really happens. I appreciate the desire to develop characters, but there were some scenes that devolved into Quentin Tarantino chat fests. I don't need an explosion every 10 minutes, but the movie went from no build in the first half to Noah's Ark in the last 25 minutes.

You're not really supposed to know exactly what is happening or what is true in Bug, thanks in part to the extremely convincing acting by Ashley Judd and Michael Shannon. They're not simply one-dimensional conspiracy nuts, but emotionally damaged and mentally fractured people. Harry Connick also puts in a very good performance as the raging ex-husband. The is brought together by the great direction of Academy Award winner William Friedkin (The Exorcist, The French Connection). It's actually quite impressive that this movie started out as a play, but I can see how it would work in the stage. Almost the entire movie is set in Agnes's hotel and there are only a few actors. There is a difference being on stage and screen and when you're watching a horror movie, you're expecting more action than what most of Bug provides.

Crazy? Do I look crazy?! Oh, I do?

Bug is not your usual type of horror movie. More cerebral and psychological than physical, Bug leads you down the rabbit hole of conspiracies, leaving you unsure of what exactly is going on. The acting is great along with the direction. The movie lacks in action, but tries to make up for it with suspense. The movie starts out too slow, but it speeds up towards the end. I would have liked a little more balance between the character development and story progression. It's intense and there are scenes of drug use and nudity, so it's not for the younger crowd. If you need a lot of action and explosions, Bug isn't for you, but if you like your horror to require some thinking, you might like Bug.

6.5/10

Day 163: Pandorum

Pandorum

Space: The Final Frontaaaaahhhh!!!

Science fiction and horror go very well together. Sci-fi allows horror to go into strange and different places, creating new rules, and allowing for different fears. Some people (read: nerds) prefer to have their sci-fi straight, with no horror or other genres encroaching on their dilithium crystals or borgs. While it's not always necessary, I think even a little bit of horror can make a sci-fi movie that much better. Just look at Alien, The Fly, or Event Horizon. I don't think I have reviewed a movie yet that was so steeped in sci-fi, so what better time then now?

Pandorum is a 2009 science fiction/horror/thriller starring Ben Foster (30 Days of Night, 3:10 to Yuma) as Corporal Bower and Dennis Quaid (Far From Heaven. G.I. Joe) as Lieutenant Payton. In the future, Earth's population has skyrocketed in the billions, using up most of Earth's resources. A 60,000 passenger spaceship named Elysium is created to transport people, resources, and other life forms to colonize Tanis, a planet similar to Earth. Bower wakes up from his hypersleep to a dark, seemingly empty ship. He suffers from amnesia, but is able to recall who he is and why he is there. Lt. Payton also wakes from hypersleep with amnesia. The three-man flight crew they were supposed to relieve is nowhere to be found and, under Payton's direction, Bower begins to explore the ship. He asks Payton about the symptoms of Pandorum, a psychological condition similar to cabin fever. He worries that he may have Pandoum, but keeps it to himself. As he gets further in the ship, Bower encounters strange humanoid creatures. They are super fast and strong, hunting humans on the ship. He is chased by the Hunters and encounters two survivors, a Vietnamese agriculture worker named Manh and a German genetic engineer named Nadia (Antje Traue, Man of Steel). The travel deeper into the ship, heading towards the reactor, which Bower plans to restart in order to gain control. At the same time, Payton discovers another surviving crew member named Corporal Gallo. Gallo is aggressive and confrontational, informing Payton that he killed his previous crew because they were suffering from Pandorum. Bower and his group encounter another survivor named Leland, who tells them of the message sent to the Elysium telling of Earth's destruction and the crew member suffering from Pandorum. That crew member released some of the passengers who had mutated and evolved thanks to an enzyme in their feeding tubes. Now those passengers roam the ship, hunting and eating people. Will Bower and his group be able to get to the reactor and gain control of the ship and how is Gallo connected to Payton?

They still have handheld flashlights in the future?

This movie has a lot of fun and creative ideas that fit well within the science fiction genre. Unfortunately, the execution of said ideas is a different story. Far too many things are crammed into this movie with not enough time given to any of them. The movie is called Pandorum, and what my rundown may lead you to believe, there are good chunks of this movie where the syndrome is never mentioned. If you want to make a movie about people going nuts in space, then go for it. That actually sounds like it could be a crazy and terrifying movie that could be a lot of fun to watch. Instead, they include the Hunters, which look like a cross between Voldemort, the Na'vi, and Plavalaguna from The Fifth Element. If you want the movie to be about them, then have it be about them. I mean there's gaping plot holes as to why they exist, like why isn't everyone a mutant hunter or why no one bothered to check if the feeding tubes would turn them into murderous freaks. Combine that with Payton's side story with Gallo and your head is swimming trying to keep track of everything that's going on. It's too much and too confusing.

While not a true horror movie, there are some instances of fear and a few startling moments. If the movie had more focus, it could have actually been scary. The scenes and grim and dark sometimes making it difficult to discern what exactly is happening. Ben Foster and Dennis Quaid both put on good performances despite the story and some iffy direction. The supporting roles are good as well, though I would have liked a little more development with some of the characters. There's even a brief 2 minute scene with Norman Reedus. The action is pretty good, but just when things start getting interesting, the story shifts to something else. The movie also goes for a big shocking twist ending that actually wasn't that bad, but could have been executed better.

My bloody valentine

Pandorum is a movie filled with potential, but never reaches it. There is too much going on and the hour and 40 minute run time feels much, much longer. If they had chosen to stick with one idea and seen it all the way through, I think Pandorum would have been far scarier and more entertaining. The action is good and there's a few hints of fear, but not a whole lot of horror going on. The acting is good, particularly Ben Foster and Dennis Quaid. This movie is an example of how too good ideas lead to a disappointing end product.

5/10