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Showing posts with label sci-fi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sci-fi. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Over 20 Years Later, The X-Files Intro Is Still The Creepiest Thing On TV



The X-Files, a science fiction/horror television show that ran from 1993 to 2002, was a pop culture hit that focused on all things paranormal and conspiratorial. A strong focus was given to wide-spanning government conspiracies and aliens, though its strength came from the episodes featuring various monsters, legends, and creatures. The series spawned two full-length films, spin-offs, comic books, toys, and countless parodies. Just this year, a six-episode tenth season was released (don’t spoil it for those that haven’t seen it yet). This announcement piqued my interest in the series and, probably like a lot of people, inspired me to watch the series from the beginning.

It’s interesting going back to watch something that initially scared me as a child. As an adult, I can now appreciate the drama and suspense of the show’s fine pacing, the subtle humor, the strong elements of horror, and the great music in each episode. I like to call this switch from childhood fear to mature enjoyment the “Freddy Krueger Effect”. When you’re young, monsters seem very real. They can hide in your closet, under your bed, down in the basement, anywhere that is unknown. For a kid, Freddy Krueger is terrifying. He’s scary-looking, has sharp knives on his fingers, and can get you where you parents can’t protect you. When you hit a certain age, though, he’s no longer scary and can actually be morbidly funny. The Freddy Krueger Effect works for Tales From The Crypt and can certainly be applied to The X-Files. An individual episode may give you the “willies”, but time and age seems to have muted the unsettling nature of the show. Except for the theme song.

As far as theme songs go, The X-Files theme may be one of the most iconic of the modern television era. So popular was the theme that it actually reached #2 on the UK singles chart. It’s worth noting that The X-Files debuted the same year as The Nanny, Blossom, and Class of ’96. Shows still had lyrics tailored specifically for the show. The X-Files theme was different. Composed by Mark Snow, who also created music for shows like Smallville, Millennium, and La Femme Nikita, the theme is an instrumental that borders on the ethereal. The alien whistling, a combination of a sample from a synth called “Whistling Joe” and Snow’s wife Glynn, effect conveys a sense of otherworldly uneasiness in the viewer while the echoing keyboard serves to focus and prolong feelings of dread. Its sparseness allows the whistling and echoes to breathe, boring deep within the listener’s mind. On its own, the X-Files theme may not seem so powerful. When the music is combined with the original footage from the show’s intro, though, it does.

The X-Files introduction was so effective because it always had a great set-up. Rather than starting the show with the intro, the episode itself would begin with a 1-2 minute setup. The set-up would almost always end with a traumatic experience, usually an unexplained occurrence or violence. Before the show is even technically introduced, the audience is thrust into the violent unknown world of the X-Files. We are not just told, but shown that monsters do exist and they are dangerous.






After the title screen, we are introduced to a photograph of a human pointing at a saucer-like object in the sky. Though partially obscured, we see that the photo is from the FBI and is dated. Nowadays, photo manipulation can be done convincingly in any home around the world. In the early 90’s it was less common. The photo does look real, accentuated by the person in the left corner pointing at the flying saucer. It’s a candid shot that lends the show a sense of credibility.




 The next few shots focus in on the unidentified flying object. The viewer is drawn in to the unknown ship as it gets closer and closer until it practically takes up the entire screen. This makes the “unknown” unavoidable, forcing the viewer to directly confront their fears.



Following the space ship careening into the living room, we see an arm pointing towards some sort of graph or notes. The arm is cloaked in darkness, belonging to a shadowy figure that we will never know. What the arm is pointing at is not clear. Is it a scientific formula? The notes of a madman? Is it even of this planet or this dimension? It is too much for the average mind to grasp, but someone out there knows, and that may be the scariest thing of all.



Now we have a floating orb with electric beams rotating in all directions. Admittedly, this looks like something you’d get at Spencer’s Gifts in the mall.



After seeing the strobe light from your friend’s basement, the audience is then subjected to the image of a face twisting and distorting in agony. We don’t know who this is or why they are being subjected to such obvious pain. It can be a physical or metaphysical pain. That’s left up to the viewer which, once again, allows the mind to fill-in the blanks with all types of horrible ideas. This quick scene is a brief glimpse into the effect that the X-Files world has on humans. The show’s opening scene is usually one of great violence or drama and now we have this helpless, contorting face. All of this before we even see the credits for the two main actors.



The next few seconds, though, are possibly the most interesting and disturbing moments of the show’s introduction. We see what can only be described as two mirroring alien eggs. Something emerges from both at the same time as the words “Paranormal Activity” flashes across the screen. While the previous scenes let the viewer’s mind do the work of instilling confusing and uneasiness, these shots are legitimately confusing. What unspeakable horrors are being born? Where is it from and where is it going? What does it want? Can we stop it?

For years, I had no idea what was going on with this shot and only recently discovered that it was a mirrored seed germinating. It’s interesting that something so simple and normal that occurs all over the world every day can seem so unnatural.


Next we have a ghost-like figure shambling down a hallway. Is it a ghost or perhaps someone trapped between dimensions, appearing only as a shadow of a human being? It’s a little unnerving on its own, but when the words “GOVERNMENT DENIES KNOWLEDGE” appear on screen, a new world of paranoia is opened to the viewer. “They” know what this is and “they” will not tell us. What us do “they” know? It’s a collision of conspiracy and supernatural and we have no good answers to assuage our fear.


We then see the show’s protagonists, Agents Mulder and Scully (both David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson receive credit earlier in the intro) burst into a room with their weapons drawn. Before the scene fades away, we see looks of shock and horror on their faces. What could possibly be in that room to two hardened veterans of the paranormal and the unexplained to react in such a way? Do we, the audience, even want to know?


One of the final scene’s from the X-Files intro is also the one open to the most interpretation. We have a small, featureless all-white being falling toward an enormous blue hand with one small red section on its finger. Is the figure human or is the hand? Are neither? Should this be seen as more of a psychological despair than a physical concern? Why red, white, and blue? Is this a commentary on the show’s conspiratorial views of the government? Is it to show man slipping through the fingers of God and falling into some unknown abyss? This is all pretty deep for a television show.




After a shot of a giant eye and credit to show creator Chris Carter, we have the iconic shot of a quickly moving storm over mountains with the slogan “THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE”. The tagline did occasionally change throughout the show’s run for particular episodes saying things such as “TRUST NO ONE” AND “DENY EVERYTHING”. It is this final image that leaves the most impact. The truth is out there, implying that we do not currently know the truth. We have been and continue to be deceived. The only way to find the truth is to go into the unknown and find it ourselves. The onus is on us (and Mulder and Scully, the avatars for the audience) to find the truth.

The images and messages occur in less than a minute, but they last long after the show itself is over. There have been other show intros with scary music or disturbing imagery that stick with the viewer. Unsolved Mysteries and The Outer Limits come to mind. Modern horror shows may be gorier and have better special effects, but they don’t have the same staying power of the X-Files introduction for the simple fact that they do not use the most powerful fear creator in the world: the mind. A zombie eats someone on a show and that’s it. A ghost is torturing a poor family and that’s it. There is little else to work with beyond the initial jump scare or shock of seeing something violent. The X-files intro allowed things to by implied and inferred, leaving the viewer to try and fill in the blanks. All while an unearthly song plays in the background.

Friday, April 19, 2013

The Worst Of 365 Days Of Horror

A "Worst Of" list from all the movies I have reviewed
Going down
 
I gave you the best, now here's the worst. When you watch 365 horror movies, you're bound to find a whole bunch of duds. When a horror movie is great, it is truly great. It's far easier to make a bad movie than a good one and it's very apparent in horror. Go to your local Wal-Mart, convenience store, or gas station and you'll probably see a pile of cheap horror movies, most of which you've never heard of. This project allowed me to see some truly great classic horror movies. It also allowed me to see some of the worst bits of entertainment committed to film. There were some movies that were so bad that I couldn't even get through them. While I could probably write for days about each terrible movie, below is a comprehensive list of the worst offenders, split into sub genres. Hope you enjoy my hate!


Worst Overall Movie



How can one movie get something things wrong? H.P. Lovecraft is one of my favorite writers, but for whatever reason, most of the movies based off his work are terrible. I can't say that The Tomb falls into this category because it does not follow the Lovecraft story. I mean, at all. The original story is a great work of the macabre. The movie is just a confused, muddled mess of nothingness. I understand that budget constraints make some of his grander stories hard to create. The Tomb doesn't have that problem because there is no budget. I have no idea who the characters are or what is going on in this movie. The acting is horrible and the direction is almost non-existant. The best part of the movie is when I stopped watching it. Easily the worst out of 365 movies.

Runner-Up: The Zombie Diaries

Zombie Movie (Romero)


It's no secret that I love George Romero's original “...Of The Dead” trilogy. They are what got me into a horror. While some of his non-zombie movies have been less than stellar, he is still the godfather of the undead. Like criticizing your favorite band for putting out an album that you don't like, I find it hard to point out the problems in Survival Of The Dead. Not because there aren't any (believe me, there are plenty) it's just that it's almost painful to see where things went wrong. I appreciate that the story connects with Diary Of The Dead as it adds a nice touch of continuity. Unfortunately, the rest of the story feels incredibly forced and, at times, confusing. Why are there two Irish families feuding on some island in America? And more importantly, why do we care? There is some decent action, but nowhere near the level of brutal violence and gore we've come to expect from a Romero zombie movie. Rather than going out with a bang, Survival ends the second zombie trilogy with a sad whimper.

Runner-up: Diary of the Dead

Zombie Movie (non-Romero)


A picture is worth a thousand words. The cover for The Zombie Diaries dvd looks like a fun, action-packed zombie bloodfest. None of that happens in this shaky found-footage borefest. It starts off relatively interesting, but the action never picks up. The story is as excruciatingly slow as the snail-paced zombies. It jumps between different groups of people, whom the audience does not know or care about. I was left bored and confused the entire length of the movie. The ending tries to be shocking, but by the time I reached the end, I just didn't care. It's shocking that they actually made a sequel to this movie considering just how bad the original is. I highly recommend that you stay far away from this movie.

Runner-up: The Quick and the Dead

Vampire Movie


Just about everything in this movie is bad, but what do you expect from Director Uwe Boll. He's the reverse Midas. Everything he touches turns to garbage. I knew that the movie was going to be bad before I watched it, it was just a matter of how bad. The story is moronic, the acting is terrible, and Michael Madsen's wig should be considered a dangerous animal. At least the movie has lots of blood and violence. Stupid, pointless violence, but violence nonetheless. I've never played the video game, so I can't compare and contrast it with the movie. Either way, Bloodrayne is further proof that video games should never be made into movies.

Runner-Up: Against the Dark


Werewolf Movie


There are no werewolves in this movie. None. Zero. Nada. Sure, there are some wolf sounds and some suggestive shadows, but no actual, on-screen shots of werewolves. I regret watching this movie so early into 365 DoH. If I had watched it later on, I would have been able to rip it apart even more. The story is goofy in the made-for-tv sense. It's clearly made on the the cheap and shots of the moon are reused so many times that it deserves top billing. There's no real horror or suspense to speak of. The only redeeming quality for the entire movie is that Elisa Donovan is in it. Beyond that, Wolves of Wall Street is just a pile of terrible.

Runner-Up: The Beast Of Bray Road


Monster Movie


Monster movies shouldn't be complicated. The old Universal monster movies got it right. Nowadays, monster movies need wild gimmicks to separate themselves from the plethora of horror movies that are churned out every day. The first 30 minutes are passable. Not good, but passable. It's not until the story finally kicks in that things fall off the rails, catch on fire, and crash into the side of a mountain. It's a goofy, convoluted legend about a man turning into some sort of alligator. It could have been fun in a SyFy sense, but it's not executed in a way where the story can be enjoyed. There are scenes of incest and sexual assault throughout the movie and neither are portrayed in a negative light. The monster does not look good and there is not as much violence as you'd expect. There's a reason why Creature made the least amount of money ever for a wide-release movie.

Runner-Up: Monsters


Foreign Movie


This one is partially my fault as I thought I would be watching the original Japanese version of The Grudge. I was half-right as there are certain parts of this movie in the American remake. I found the movie really hard to follow, even beyond language and cultural differences. It's relatively short, but still manages to bounce around between characters too much. I could not forge a strong connection to any characters because they would be out of the movie within 15 minutes. There are some unsettling moments and some decent suspense, but the movie lacks the proper amount of action. Most of the violence is implied and while there is a decent amount of blood, some special effects are less than convincing. Ju-On isn't horrendously bad, it's just not good.

Runner-Up: Dead Cert

Slasher Movie


Despite being quite bad, Rocktober Blood has a special place in my heart. I fondly remember watching it (on VHS!) with my friend and laughing at how ridiculous it is. As far as slashers go, it's not suspenseful or scary, just silly. The idea of a killer that comes back from the grave to kill again is not particularly original, but it doesn't matter as the killer is portrayed in such a way that no one anywhere ever could be afraid of him. The one good takeaway is that the music in the movie is performed by the metal band Sorcery. The songs are extremely catchy. Don't believe me? Well check out this song and see if you're not humming it later on. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvB78T2KUFc

Runner-Up: Bloody Birthday

Horror Comedy


Wait, this movie was supposed to be funny? It's the worst type of horror comedy when the movie is neither scary nor funny. Even the Scary Movie series manages to force a chuckle once in a while. Shocker tries to give us some slapstick physical comedy, but it's so hackneyed that the Three Stooges would blush. The story of an executed killer gaining electric super powers and the main character being able to have weird visions doesn't make much sense, even for a horror movie. Things just kind of happen throughout with no regard for continuity or the audience's sanity. The biggest insult of all is that Wes Craven wrote and directed this terrible movie. It would have been scarier to see Rush Limbaugh naked. Funnier too.

Runner-Up: Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes

Demonic Movie


Sometimes you take a chance on the movie, having no prior knowledge to guide your decision. It might lead you to a pleasant surprise, much like when I watched Pontypool. Then again, it might lead you to The Devil's Rock. I was drawn in by the World War II aspect of the movie. I feel that there is a serious lack of good war-based horror movies and always like to give them a chance. Unfortunately, The Devil's Rock is a boring story about some sort of demon being held in a German bunker. The cast is razor thin as I believe there are only 4 people with speaking roles in the entire film. The demon's mind games are as predictable as the characters actions, leaving me bored and annoyed. It doesn't help that the demon looks stereotypical and cartoonish. You might actually find a better demon at your next Halloween party. By the end, I didn't care what happened and just wanted the movie to be over. So much for good war-based horror. You win some, you lose some.

Runner-Up: Blessed

Stephen King Movie


Stephen King is one of the the best horror writers in the modern era. Just about everyone has either read or seen one of his works. Unfortunately, some of his stories have received less than favorable treatments on the big screen. Well, if you want something right, do it yourself. Maximum Overdrive is King's directorial debut. Of course, this was during his coked-up 80's faze and it shows. The killer machine idea is nothing new, but their portrayal in this movie is far too silly to be considered scary. The movie gets stuck in one location and drags on for too long. Emilio Estevez is fine in his role, though not much was required of him. As a first-time director King was passable. Still, the story is better suited for an episode of the Twilight Zone and not a full-length movie. The wailing soundtrack by AC/DC doesn't help, either.

Runner-Up: Graveyard Shift

Sci-Fi Horror Movie


A heroin-addicted sea monster? Check. Cheap mid-90's sets? Check. Mullets? Check. Proteus is your basic science-fiction monster movie complete with ridiculous evil bad-guy plot thrown on top of everything. The hero and his companions are portrayed as a drug smugglers, so it's hard to cheer for them to survive. The dialogue is very bad, but actor Craig Fairbrass manages to do a decent job. His supporting cast does him no favors and bring down the entire movie. The monster itself looks hilariously bad. It actually makes Carnosaur look like it should be in Jurassic Park. If you can't make a good monster, don't make a monster movie.

Runner-Up: Splice

Horror Anthology

 
This movie suckered me in by having Vincent Price in it. Sadly, he's only in a few scenes, but still manages to be the best thing in it. Everything about this anthology is terrible. There are too many stories and none of them are particularly good. The horror is weak and the storytelling is just not there to keep the audience interested. The ideas for the stories aren't bad, just unoriginal. The problem lies in the execution as the acting is poor and the sets are cheap. A little bit of money and effort could have made the movie far more enjoyable. Instead, it's just a painful reminder that I could be watching Creepshow instead.

Runner-Up: Deadtime Stories Vol. 1

Masters Of Horror


Masters of Horror put out plenty of dudes (Dance of the Dead, Haeckel's Tale), but they usually managed to be horror-centric stories. Chocolate doesn't even come close to horror. The idea of seeing horrible violence through another's point of view has been done before (For example, The Eye) and done better. The acting is pretty bad (with the exception of Matt Frewer) and the story is meandering and pointless. There is nothing scary or even exciting about Chocolate. It's all just one big waste of time. I legitimately feel bad for anyone who buys this on a whim. I've seen Disney movies scarier than this.This was painful to sit through.

Runner-Up: Dance Of The Dead, Haeckel's Tale

Remake


I usually question the necessity for remakes, but I can understand the desire to remake the classic 1932 movie “Freaks”. It's old enough where a good chunk of your audience probably have not seen it. It doesn't help, though, when you classify your remake as a “modern retelling” and the only changes you make are nudity and violence. At first, I thought Freakshow was just ripping off Freaks until I did a little research. The original was supremely unsettling while the remake is just boring and uninspired. There's a lot of talk and planning in the movie with very little action until the rushed ending. I'm not a fan of watching torture which is a problem considering the last 10 minutes of the movie are just torture. The scene is painfully slow and unpleasant, just like the rest of the movie.

Runner-Up: The Hitcher

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Day 355: Event Horizon

Event Horizon
Infinite terror comes with your choice of toppings

Space: The Final Frontier. It's cliché, I know, but when it comes to horror, it's true. Despite us knowing more about space than the ocean, the audience has a general idea of what something from the sea will look like. When it comes to outer space, anything and everything is possible. There are no rules which frees up writers and directors to create the movie they want to make. Sometimes it leads to great results like Alien and sometimes it leads to brain-crushing stupidity like Jason X. Either way, you never know what to expect.

Event Horizon is a 1997 science fiction horror movie starring Lawrence Fishburne (The Matrix, Mission Impossible III) as Captain Miller and Sam Neill (Jurassic Park, In The Mouth Of Madness) as Dr. William Weir. In the year 2040, the spaceship Event Horizon disappeared on it's maiden voyage to another star system. Seven years later, a distress signal is received from the Event Horizon. The rescue vessel Lewis and Clark is sent to the rescue the ship which is floating near Neptune. The ship is captained by Miller whose crew includes Lt. Starck (Joely Richardson, The Tudors, Nip/Tuck), pilot Smith (Sean Pertwee, Dog Soldiers, Soldier), engineer Justin (Jack Noseworthy, There's Something About Mary, The Fifth Element), doctor D.J. (Jason Isaacs, The Patriot, Armageddon), medical technician Peters (Kathleen Quinlan, I Never Promised You A Rose Garden, Apollo 13), and rescue technician Cooper (Richard T. Jones, Kiss The Girls, The Wood). The ship's creator, Dr. Weir, joins the mission, revealing that the ship was built to test an experimental form of space travel that generates an artificial black hole. When they enter the ship, they see the remnants of a bloody massacre. As they search for clues as to what happened, the ship's gravity drive starts on it's own, dragging Justin into a portal. When he is released, he is left in a catatonic state. The gravity drive damages the Lewis And Clark, forcing the entire crew onto the Event Horizon. They begin to experience terrifying hallucinations, all surrounding fears and regrets, especially towards lost love ones. Justin wakes from his catatonic state and tries to kill himself, saying that he has seen horrible things inside the portal. Dr. Weir begins to see visions of his wife, who committed suicide, urging him to “join” her. The crew is able to decipher the ship's log, revealing that the crew went insane and horrifically mutilated each other. Miller and DJ believe that the ship's original portal jump led them to another dimension, one of complete chaos and evil. In fact, they believe that the ship has in fact been to Hell. Now, that evil lives on the ship and has taken over Dr. Weir. Weir begins to sadistically murder the crew members while the ship itself causes more hallucinations. Will Miller be able to stop Weir and get back home before it's too late?

And will he join the Ghostbusters?

Writer Philip Eisner (The Mutant Chronicles, Firestarter 2) originally pitched Event Horizon as “The Shining in space” with no actual story planned. Well that may sound like a funny thing to do, Alien was pitched as “Jaws in space” so it's not without merit. It's a pretty apt description of how Event Horizon is laid out, both in story and action. Initially, the audience has an inkling that something bad might happen, but the true horror slowly unfolds, enveloping the characters as well as the audience. The ship has an evil presence, much like the Overlook Hotel in The Shining, coupled with the mental breakdown of one of the main characters. Event Horizon uses the same combination of isolation, depression, and despair to twist characters as well as test the audience. All that being said, Event Horizon isn't on the same level as The Shining. This movie focuses much more on physical action and violence rather than the psychological horror of The Shining. Full of explosions and fight scenes, this movie is made more to frighten you up front rather than terrify within. The hallucinations may make you jump, but they're not on the same level as say, an elevator full of blood rushing towards you. Speaking of blood and gore, this movie has a lot of it. More than lots of slashers, actually. Test audiences and the studio found the original cut to be too gory and scenes were cut, which is a shame. The movie does have religious imagery, like a window shaped like a cross, but it's not overly religious like an exorcism movie would be.

Another major difference is the quality of story. Event Horizon uses an interesting idea and a creative setting to get started, but when it comes down to details and specifics, the movie tends to gloss over them in an effort to get to more visually exciting scenes. It's never entirely clear if the ship actually went to Hell or just a scary dimension. How did the ship create hallucinations? Was the ship alive or did everyone just go nuts? Why are people smoking inside a spaceship? The movie is entertaining enough where you can mostly overlook plot holes, though they may stick with you when the movie is over. The cast is really strong in this movie with everyone playing their part very well. Sam Neill is really good as a villain and should play one more often. Two funny things I noticed while watching the movie. At the beginning, they say that the first colony on the moon started in 2015. Looks like that's not happening. I always get a kick out of things like this in movies that predict something in the not too distant future and get it wrong. I love Escape From New York, but always laugh when they say the year is 1997. Just pick something like 100 years in the future so if you get it wrong, no one will really care by then. The second thing was the crew communicating with each other using what looks like iPads. I think someone should sue Apple for that. Director Paul W.S. Anderson (Resident Evil, Mortal Kombat) captures both the violence and fear well enough to please action fans and horror fans equally. 

You got a little something on...eh, never mind

Event Horizon is an enjoyable science fiction horror movie with a decent amount of scares and some interesting ideas. It's easy to see how the story parallels The Shining, always a good movie to emulate. There is a true sense of isolation and claustrophobia throughout the movie that makes the audience feel what the characters are experiencing. The movie has a lot of blood and gore which may make some people squeamish. The movie uses a large amount of special effects, some good and some clearly from the 1990's. Direct Paul W.S. Anderson does a solid job and the cast manages to make the movie, which could have been silly in the wrong hands, believable and entertaining. There are some issues with the plot as details tend to be rushed or completely ignored, but there's enough going on to keep you entertained. While it didn't do well when it was first released, Event Horizon has gained a cult status among horror and sci-fi fans. It's fun, scary, and different. A winning combination.

8/10

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Day 339: The Dunwich Horror

The Dunwich Horror
I like my Dunwich with the crusts cut off

Why? Why is it so hard for Hollywood to make a good H.P. Lovecraft movie? The stories are there. The built-in audience is there. The merchandise is there. Just get a competent director and actors who can talk without accidentally swallowing your tongue and you're halfway there. Hollywood managed to crank out plenty of Harry Potter and Twilight movies, but we can't get a good “Beyond The Wall Of Sleep” “The Shadow Over Innsmouth” or “Cool Air”? We're getting a freaking 50 Shades Of Grey movie faster than At The Mountains Of Madness. I've reviewed a few Lovecraft-based movies and for the most part, they've been terrible. Like riding a bicycle, sometimes you just have to keep trying with horror, so I might as well try with The Dunwich Horror.

The Dunwich Horror is a 1970 horror movie starring Dean Stockwell (Air Force One, The Langoliers) as Wilbur Whateley and Sandra Dee (Come September, Rose!) as Nancy Wagner. At Miskatonic University in Arkham, Massachussetts, Dr. Armitage (Ed Begley, Sweet Bird Of Youth, 12 Angry Men) is giving a lecture on local history and the very rare book The Necronomicon. He gives the priceless book to his student Nancy Wagner who is to lock it up in the school library. There she meets Wilbur Whateley who asks to see it before she puts it away. His hypnotic gaze overcomes Nancy allowing him to look through the book and discover a certain passage. Dr. Armitage catches him, but Wilbur's gaze also overtakes the doctor and all three end up having dinner together. Nancy, still under Wilbur's power, agrees to drive him to his home in Dunwich where he disables her car, forcing her to stay overnight. At the house, Nancy encounters the strange Old Whateley, Wilbur's grandfather, who warns her that she should not be in the house. When Nancy is not found the next day, Armitage and her friend Elizabeth find her at the Whateley home. Nancy refuses to leave, saying she wants to stay with Wilbur for the weekend. Armitage begins to investigate Wilbur and discovers that his mother Lavinia is still alive and currently living in an asylum. She actually had twins, but apparently one was stillborn. The father was unknown and the birth was so painful and traumatic that Lavinia lost her mind. It is revealed that Wilbur plans to use Nancy in a cult ceremony that would bring the Old Gods back to our dimension. Will Dr. Armitage be able to stop him and what exactly lives in the locked room of the Whateley house?

"Soon, Justin Bieber....very soon!"

Holy crap on crust was this bad. My love of Lovecraft's work is no secret. I even visited his grave at the fantastic Swan Point Cemetary in Providence, Rhode Island. I really enjoy his short story “The Dunwich Horror” and was hoping that the movie would be able to do it justice. While the movie does retain some of the names and some plot details, there's very little connecting it to the story. Instead of mystery, intrigue, and a dark, creeping atmosphere, we get a B-movie with bad acting, goofy special effects, and extended sexuality. It all makes sense when you see that one of the producers was Roger Corman, the king of schlock. I understand that stories need to be tweaked and adjusted for the big screen, but The Dunwich Horror creates the Nancy character and goes off in a completely different direction. Gone are the Lovecraftian touches of horror, replaced with a story that doesn't really go anywhere and super-cheap special effects. We get a multi-colored strobe effect that washes over entire scenes. The first few times it was kind of neat, but then it kept happening. And happening. And happening. It was harsh on the eyes and just plain annoying. When we finally see what is in the locked room it looks like it fell off the set of H.R. Puffinstuff.

It doesn't help the movie that the acting is especially bad. Dean Stockwell gives an awkward, sweaty performance that makes me want to register him as a sex offender. He gives creepier stares than that guy in his 40's going to high school basketball games by himself. Sandra Dee isn't given much to work with as she's essentially hypnotized for most of the film. This was Ed Begley's last film which is a shame. He does his best, but it's just not enough. The direction is shoddy at times and the camerawork could have been better. There is a fight scene in the library that had to have been done in one take it's so bad. Combine the bad fighting with absolutely no music and it's just a trainwreck of epic proportions. Nothing in the movie is scary (well beyond Dena Stockwell's molester stare) which is too bad because Lovecraft can be quite terrifying.

"So...my cult or yours?"

Lovecraft fans will be disappointed with The Dunwich Horror. Hell, horror fans will be disappointed with with The Dunwich Horror. The story only retains a few details from the original story and some basic plot points. The acting is not good and makes the bad story even worse. There is a serious lack of atmosphere or any real horror, replaced by 1960's sex and psychedelia. It also doesn't help that the movie is supposed to take place in Massachusetts, but it's clearly shot in California. It's unintentionally funny and certainly different from a typical movie at the time. If you're morbidly curious, check it out, but if you're looking for a good movie, stay far away.

2/10

Monday, December 3, 2012

Day 338: Dog Soldiers

Dog Soldiers
Sup, dog?

Today's movie is a special request from Julian of the super catchy band Glory Days. You should go listen to them now and follow them on Twitter. I'll wait. If you're on Twitter follow Julian at @juliandimagiba and Glory days at @weareglorydays. Now that we're all done swooning, back to the horror. I have had a few requests spread out over the course of this past year. Most people pick a movie that they think I'll like or may have missed. Not so much with this request. I was given this movie to watch with the knowledge that the movie was not good. A quick search on Rotten Tomatoes shows that it actually had a pretty high rating. Who would be right?

Dog Soldiers is a 2002 British werewolf movie starring Kevin McKidd (Grey's Anatomy, Trainspotting) as Private Cooper and Sean Pertwee (Soldier, Event Horizon) as Sergeant Harry Wells. An unnamed young couple are camping in the woods when they are viciously attacked by an unknown beast. Private Cooper has a tryout to join an elite military unit. In order to pass, Captain Richard Ryan (Liam Cunningham, Safe House, Game Of Thrones) commands Cooper to shoot a dog. Cooper refuses and Ryan shoots the dog himself, failing Cooper in the process. A month later, a group of British soldiers, including Cooper, drop into the Scotish highlands for a training mission with the elite unit. The find the unit savagely murdered with Captain Ryan wounded, but alive. He mentions being attacked by someone or something, but doesn't make much sense. The group is attacked by a pack of large werewolves and they try to fight back. Sgt. Wells is badly injured Their guns prove relatively useless and they make a run for it. The find a road and are picked up by a woman named Megan (Emma Cleasby, Doomsday, F). She takes them to an empty house where they tend to Wells' wounds and fortify their positions. They fight off the werewolves, but ammunition begins to run low. Surrounded, the group decides to plan for an escape. Will they be able to survive and are both Megan and Captain Ryan hiding something?

Awoooo werewolves of Scotland

This may be one of the few times where I've watched a movie in English and desperately needed subtitles. It's even worse than in Dead Cert. The combination of thick accents, foreign slang, fast talking, and a sprinkling of military terms left me utterly lost and confused in certain scenes. It didn't make much of a difference in terms of the story, but it would have been nice to know just what people are saying. Speaking of the story, it's a fairly predictable werewolf movie with more gun play than some war movies. There are plenty of guns and explosions which is all well and good except they don't really stop the werewolves. What's the point of wasting the ammo when it's not really doing anything? The movie tries to go with a few surprises, but they were pretty obvious. The movie also makes it a point to inject humor into many scenes. Some are funny, but others are eye roll worthy.

Dog Soldiers knows it's a low budget B-movie and revels in it. Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing. The camera work was a little shaky and erratic during the action scenes making it hard to focus on what's happening. About 80% of the movie is action scenes so you can see how that would get old fast. The werewolves actually look good, but a little stiff. It's a shame the camera never really focuses on them as we get quick shots and individual body parts instead. What the movie lacks in story and logic it makes up for in loads of blood and gore. Sgt. If you like the color red, you're really like this movie. Wells actually has his guts spilling out yet manages to push them back in and get patched up for a majority of the movie. Come one, really? Injuring him makes sense, but don't eviscerate the guy and play it off like he's fine. Some may think this is nitpicking for a cheap horror movie, but it's just too hard to ignore. The direction is fine and the acting is good. 

Plunker! Tallywhacker! Wanker! Uh...Loo!

Between Julian requesting Dog Soldiers because it was terrible and online reviews saying it was great, I have to side with Julian and not just because we're both wrestling nerds. While the violence is good and there's plenty of blood and gore, it wasn't enough to keep me from slipping into bored annoyance. The accents were so thick that I was reminded of the scene in Austin Powers: Goldmember where he and his father speak “English” English. I know it's supposed to be a B-movie, but I found it too hard to ignore plot holes and predictable twists. The werewolves look good, but the film doesn't really focus on them. If you look at a movie like The Wolfman or An American Werewolf InLondon, we see plenty of werewolf. Why hide them? There are better werewolf movies out there and I suggest you find them before settling for Dog Soldiers.

4.5/10

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Day 304: Creature From The Black Lagoon

Creature From The Black Lagoon
Apparently, the lagoon gives you soft, pouty lips

Dracula. The Wolfman, Frankenstein's monster (Frankenstein is the name of the doctor, people). The Mummy. These classic movie monsters receive lots of love and attention and rightfully so. They've had countless remakes and adaptations, appeared in video games, comic books, and products. To this day, people still get dressed up as these monsters for Halloween. There is one classic monster that always seems to be left out: The Creature from the Black Lagoon. What is it about the creature that doesn't put it on the same level as the others? Is it because the creature doesn't really come from a well-known novel? Is it a lack of sequels and remakes? Is it because it doesn't actually have a name? It's certainly not because the movie is bad.

Creature From The Black Lagoon is a 1954 monster movie starring Richard Carlson (It Came From Outer Space, The Magnetic Monster) as Dr. David Reed and Julie Adams (The Rifleman, Maverick) as his girlfriend, Kay Lawrence. While on an expedition in the Amazon, Dr. Carl Maia (Antonio Moreno, The Searchers, The Spanish Dancer) discovers the skeletal remains of an arm that appears to have a webbed hand. Maia is able to convince his friend Dr. David Reed, an icthyologist, to aid him in the excavation of the skeleton. They are joined by David's girlfriend Kay and Dr. Mark Williams, who funds the expedition. The take the steamer Rita down the Amazon to the camp site, where they find Maia's team brutally murdered by some sort of animal. Unknown to the group, the killer was actually an amphibious humanoid, the same species as the skeleton that Dr. Maia discovered. The group travels into the nearby black lagoon in hopes of finding more of the skeletal remains. The creature, or Gill-man, watches the expedition as the search the lagoon and becomes infatuated with Kay. It eventually kills two of the crew members on the ship. They poison the water and are able to capture the creature for a short time, but it escapes. Will they be able to capture this creature before it takes Kay?

"Has anyone seen my chapstick? I'm feeling chappy."


In classic monster movie fashion, Creature From The Black Lagoon has an equal mixture of mystery, action, romance, and traditional scares. While the movie may be almost 60 years old, it still manages to be quite entertaining. The action starts out almost immediately despite not showing the creature right away. We only see it's amphibious webbed hand, but it's enough to whet the audience's appetite and send imagination's soaring. Gill-man is essentially a man in a rubber suit (technically two different men, one for land shots and one for swimming), it looks far better than other monsters from the same era. Strong detail is given to the suit with authentic looking skin and fins. The face does have some motion to it and actually appears to be breathing when out of water. Many of the underwater scenes look very good, thanks to being shot in a studio rather than an actually body of water.

Originally filmed in 3D, the movie doesn't have the usual hallmarks you see in modern 3D films. There are no blatant scenes where someone is specifically pointing something at the screen for 3D purposes. The horror of the film is helped along thanks to the music in the film, which consisted mostly of blaring trumpets. It serves it's purpose, but tends to be a little grating by the end. Director Jack Arnold has a good eye for capturing both the action and terror in the movie. The acting is good, especially considering the creature is just a guy in a suit. Julie Adams doesn't play the straight damsel in distress role, giving the character more depth. There are just enough characters involved to kill off a few without diluting the story. The movie has a good amount of action, but since it's from the 1950's, of course there is no blood. C'mon, there are kids watching!

"Attica! Attica! Attica!"

Creature From The Black Lagoon is a fun monster movie from an era where a man in a rubber suit was still terrifying. The story movies quickly and has a good amount of action for the time period. The underwater scenes look great and the makeup used for the monster is spot-on. The combination of good acting and directing helps elevate the movie to a better level than other contemporary monster movies. The movie doesn't have the built-in story that other classic monster movies do, but it still manages to be entertaining. Why Gill-man doesn't get as much attention as it deserves, it's still a classic monster from a classic movie. Maybe you should dress up like Gill-man for Halloween tomorrow.

8/10

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Day 281: Phantasm

Phantasm
Choose Your Own Drug-Induced Fever-Dream Adventure

Horror movies are all about taking risks. More than any other movie genre, horror needs to take risks in order to to grab the audience and make an impression. Action movies don't need to take risks. A few explosions here, and few car chases there, and you're all set. The same could be said for comedies. Make a few good jokes and you've got yourself a movie. Horror constantly needs to think outside the box with it's stories, it's characters, and it's effects. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. That's why it's called “risk taking”. When it does work, though, it's a thing of beauty.

Phantasm is a 1979 supernatural horror movie starring Michael Baldwin (Eight Is Enough, Phantasm II) as Mike Pearson and Angus Scrimm (I Sell The Dead, Alias) as The Tall Man. Following the death of his parents, Mike is raised by his older brother Jody (Bill Thornbury, Secrets Of Midland Heights, Phantasm III) in their small, unnamed town. During a funeral, Mike spies the owner of the funeral home, the Tall Man, easily lifting a casket by himself. Mike reaches out to an old fortune teller, relaying his fears of his older brother leaving him and of the Tall Man. The old woman tells him to place his hand in a black box which grips him tightly. Frightened, he desperately tries to get it off, but cannot. She tells him that there is nothing to fear and the box loosens. Mike begins investigating the Tall Man, sneaking into the mausoleum where he keeps dead bodies. The mausoleum is patrolled by a flying silver sphere that has razor-sharp blades protruding out of it. Mike is grabbed by a man, but dodges the sphere and escapes. It is not until Mike is attacked by the Tall Man's minions, hooded dwarves, that he is able to convince Jody that they are in real danger. The Tall Man pursues them, even attacking them in their dreams. They discover that one of the minions is, in fact, one of Jody's recently-deceased friends, only shrunk down in size. Along with their friend Reggie, the boys head to the mausoleum where they discover a white room filled with containers and a strange gateway. What is the truth behind the Tall Man and the gateway and will they be able to stop him in time?

"Oh, man. Someone else peed in my bed while I was sleeping!"

Unique is one of the best ways to describe Phantasm. I mean that in a good way, not in a “has a nice personality” sort of way. The story is very imaginative and unlike anything I have seen in the past. A super-powered undertaker from another world is turning dead people into dwarf slaves? Oh, and he has some killer flying ball with spikes coming out of it? Yeah, that's a new one. Writer/Producer/Director Don Coscarelli (Bubba Ho-Tep, The Beastmaster) crafts an exciting and strange horror movie, throwing in all sorts of cool and different ideas. Phantasm is one of those movies where you legitimately have no idea what is going to happen next. Ultimately, that's a good thing, but there are some things that just kind of happen out of nowhere. The biggest example is the flying sphere. Admittedly, it's a very cool idea that looks good on screen and also for a particularly gruesome death scene. The problem is that it is pretty random in regards to the rest of the movie. It doesn't feature as prominently as it does in the various sequels, so it's not that big of a deal, but I couldn't get over the complete randomness of this thing. Despite some of the silliness of the movie, it still manages to be entertaining.

The atmosphere is what really makes Phantasm so enjoyable. The movie is dark and creepy with flashes of action and terror. The imagery is great and stays with you long after the movie has ended. The movie has a few great lines which have actually be used as samples by a lot of metal bands, including Prophyria and Municipal Waste. When most people think of great horror music, the point to John Carpenter and the music from Halloween. I feel that the music in Phantasm is on par with the music from Halloween. Perhaps it's even better with it's mixture of synth, guitars, and drums, giving the movie a scary, yet steady feel. The movie has a quick pace with some good action and violence. The acting is good and the movie manages to avoid the usual trap of making a young character incredibly annoying or stupid. Angus Scrimm's imposing figure fits perfectly with the character of the Tall Man. One thing in about the movie that I noticed is that there really isn't a female character in the movie. Sure there are a few females in the movie, but none with a lot of screen time or important roles. I mean, there isn't even a real love interest in the movie.

"How's the weather up there, Shaq?"

Phantasm is a fun and scary horror movie that pushes the boundaries of weirdness. The story is certainly unique and a breath of fresh air before the horror genre was inundated in the early 80's with mundane slasher films. Part science-fiction, part adventure, and part action movie, Phantasm has plenty of shocks and scares with a few scenes of gore to keep the audience at the edge of their seats. The directing and acting are good and managed to make sense out of a strange story. Some may find it difficult to follow the story as it grows progressives weirder towards the end. The movie takes a lot of risks, but you should be willing to take a risk and watch it.

7.5/10

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Day 278: Chopping Mall

Chopping Mall
Chop till you drop

Ah, the great American shopping mall. Where else, other than a carnival or flea market, could you ride a carousel, eat a buttered pretzel, and buy clothes? Malls are no stranger to the horror genre. They were most famously used in Dawn of The Dead, but were also used in The Initiation, Hide And Go Shriek, and Phantom Of The Mall. In the 80's the mall was the mecca of consumerism so it's no surprise that they received the horror treatment. This location allows for a lot of possibilities for scares and action, but also good social commentary. Or it's just a big, cheap open space to shoot.

Chopping Mall (also known as Killbots) is a 1986 horror movie starring Kelli Maroney (Night Of The Comet, Not Of This Earth) as Alison Parks and Tony O'Dell (Head Of The Class, The Karate Kid) as Ferdy Meisel. The Park Plaza Mall has just installed a new state-of-the-art security system manned by three robots. Armed with tasers and tranquilizer guns, the robots are programmed to patrol the premises at night, asking any human for identification. One night, lightning strikes the mall, damaging the computer that controls the robots. They come to life, killing the scientist in charge of watching them and begin roaming the mall. At the same time, four teenage couples are partying in one of the stores after hours. While the other couples get down to “business,” shy Alison and nerdy Ferdy (see what they did there?) talk and watch and old horror movie. When one couple leaves the store to go buy cigarettes from a vending machine (hey, it's the 80's), they are killed by the robots. The men and women seperate with the women eventually going to a hardware store and the men going to a sporting good store. The men arm themselves with guns and the women create molotovs using gas cans and rags. When they think they have one of the robots defeated, another one appears, killing one of the girls with laser beams (yes, laser beams). As the night wears on, more of the group are killed eventually leaving only Allison and Ferdy. How will they be able to beat this futuristic killbots and survive?

Apparently, her giant hair is thinking of getting something to eat

When I heard the title “Chopping Mall” I actually expected the movie to be about a serial killer loose in a mall. Sure, it's been done before, but not with such a clever title. Instead, we get a movie about killer robots. Obviously, the name change has something to do with my confusion, but doesn't lessen my disappointment. In fact, I don't think there any significant chopping in “Chopping Mall”. What a bummer! The movie is very much entrenched in mid-80's culture with it's goofy characters and general attitude. It's fun to see things like cigarette vending machines, big hair, multiple pay phones, and all sorts now-antiquated items in the mall. Chopping Mall does reference other horror movies, such as one of the characters saying the phrase “klaatu barada nikto” from “The Day The Earth Stood Still” and “Army of Darkness”. There are also horror movie posters in a pizza shop, including one for Slumber Party Massacre.

I wasn't expecting much when I decided to watch this movie, but it managed to be entertaining. There isn't much to the story and very little in the way of any character development. That's not why you're watching the movie, though. Chopping Mall has a surprisingly good amount of action and violence. Much like Dawn Of The Dead, the protagonists use guns found in a store to fight off their enemies. Of course, these are some heavy-duty guns. I know the 80's were bad, but I didn't think assault weapons were necessary. The movie does try to utilize a few different stores in the mall, but I could have used more variety. When you have lots of options, you might as well use most of them, The robots look decent, though their lasers look like a poor-man's Star Wars effect. The acting is passable since not a lot is required other than running, screaming, and shooting. Kelli Maroney's character is a sweeter, less Valley Girl version of her character in Night Of The Comet and makes for a good heroine.

"Stop! I just wanted a hug!"

Chopping Mall is the epitome of B-horror movies: The idea is over-the-top, the budget is small, and there isn't much of a story, but it's still fun to watch. The robots look decent and there is enough violence and action to keep the audience from thinking about the story. The acting is passable and the direction is fine. I would have liked a little more variety in locations used and more creativity in fighting the robots. Best watched with a group of friends, Chopping Mall manages to be entertaining and ridiculous at the same time.

6/10