Day 361: Poltergeist

Poltergeist

"I love you, TV"

When we think of haunted house movies, we inevitably picture an old, gothic mansion harkening back to the Vincent Price days. There's usually an evil spirit involved making all sorts of scary sounds, but staying hidden for most if not all of the movie. They're all fairly standard affairs with just a few differences thrown in. Even most modern-day haunted house movies still revolve around the same basic haunting tenets. The ones that don't tend to veer off into the exorcism genre. The select few that take place in modern times, but blaze their own trail are far more interesting and entertaining, but also riskier. When you have Steven Spielberg writing and producing with Tobe Hooper directing, you're off to a good start.

Poltergeist is a 1982 horror movie starring Craig T. Nelson (Coach, The Incredibles) as Steven Freeling and JoBeth Williams (Baby M., Dutch) as his wife Diane. The Freelings live in the nice planned community of Cuesta Verde in California with their children Dana, Robbie, and Carol Anne (Heather O'Rourke). Steven is a successful realtor, selling houses in the community while Diane has her hands full with three very active children. One night, while everyone is asleep, Carol Anne wakes up and begins talking to the television which is only transmitting static. The same happens the next night and an apparition leaps from the television and vanishes through the wall behind her. Knowingly, Carol Anne states, “They're here.” Throughout the next day, strange paranormal events occur, such as a glass breaking and chairs in the kitchen inexplicably moving. That night, during an intense storm, an old tree comes to life and grabs Robbie through window. As Steven frees him, a portal opens in a closet and pulls in Carol Anne. With her physically missing, the family is able to hear her through their television calling for help. Steven reaches out to a group of parapsychologists at the local college who investigate the paranormal activity in hopes of finding Carol Anne. They discover that is not one ghost, but many ghosts in the house. Steven meets with his boss Lewis Teague (James Karen, The Return Of The Living Dead, Congo) who reveals that they are planning to build new houses on top of a cemetery. Teague reassures Steven that they will move the bodies down the road before construction. Dana and Robbie are sent away for their safety and Tangina Barrons (Zelda Rubinstein, Picket Fences, Teen Witch) a spiritual medium, is brought in to help rescue Carol Ann. She explains that the spirits in the house are not at rest and are attracted to Carol Anne because of her life force. This attraction is keeping the spirits from crossing over while a demon referred to as the “Beast” is keeping Carol Anne in order to manipulate the spirits. Will The Feelings be able to get their daughter back and what horrible secret does the house hide?

Are we sure she's not from the Village Of The Damned?

Poltergeist is certainly different from most other haunted house movies up to it's release. Gone is the musty and dark mansion with the eccentric owner. Instead we have a healthy and happy family living in a house that oozes 1980's in a cozy suburb. The inclusion of a cute and precocious little girl as the victim makes the horror much more real than, say, an older socialite trying to win money by staying at a haunted house. We see the family in their everyday lives, much like our own, and truly feel along with them when their daughter disappears. Director Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Salem's Lot) is no stranger to scares. The same could be said for Steven Spielberg, though the horror in Jaws and Duel are much more cerebral. Poltergeist gives us a few different things to scare us. The most memorable scene involves a creepy looking clown that comes to life and starts to choke Robbie while his mother is being dragged across the ceiling. I didn't quite understand the scene where the tree comes to life and grabs Robbie. No one else seemed to be concerned that a plant was suddenly moving around and stealing children. It really bothered me that it was never addressed or came up again. Some of the special effects are good for the time while others are embarrassingly cheesy by today's standards. Apparently, they used actual skeletons in the movie rather than plastic ones because it was cheaper. That raises so many questions that I don't even want to know the answers. The movie has occasionally great atmosphere, but it doesn't sustain throughout the entire film. This becomes evident towards the end when it appears to be a happy ending only for the movie to continue an extra 20 minutes with the best scares of the entire movie. They would have been better off switching things around instead of hurting the movie's horror momentum.

"Crap Yourself the Clown"

Despite having two young children in the film, Poltergeist manages to mostly avoid the “annoying child” trope that plagues so many horror movies. JoBeth Williams is great as the loving mother and Craig T. Nelson is solid as the distraught father. One small thing in the movie that I found funny was when he was reading a book in bed about Ronald Reagan. Craig T. Nelson is a staunch conservative and generally made an ass out of himself when on Glenn Beck's show, talking about no one helping him while he received food stamps. Zelda Rubinstein is also very good, exuding a loving confidence that one may not expect in a haunting movie, but will appreciate. Tobe Hooper gets some very good shots throughout the film and Spielberg's hands-on approach is evident. 

Shout! Shout! Shout at the Devil!

Poltergeist took the haunted house genre from the drab far-off mansions and stuck them right into suburban America. It was risky move, but for the most part, it paid off. We still see references to Poltergeist in pop culture today. Whether it's in South Park, the Scary Movie franchise, or The Simpsons, iconic lines and scenes always manage to spring up. It's even the subject of The Misfit's song "The Shining". The story in Poltergeist is decent, if a bit predictable. There are elements of tradition haunted house movies as well as some fresh takes. There are some good scares, but the movie's momentum is frequently cut off. What should have been a pulse-pounding thrill ride was instead a disjointed and occasionally jumping ghost movie. The movie has a lot of special effects, some very good and some laughably bad. The acting is good throughout and the direction is fairly solid. Some like to shower praise on Poltergeist, but I feel there were some things that could have and should have been better. Overall, it's a decent horror movie with some fun scares and good acting.

7/10

Day 357: Drag Me To Hell

Drag Me To Hell 

This poster is one dragon away from being a heavy metal album cover

Sam Raimi's career is quite impressive when you look at it. From humble beginnings directing low-budget horror movies like Evil Dead and Army Of Darkness, Sam Raimi has become a household name by directing summer blockbusters like Spider-Man and Oz: The Great and Powerful. Not content with just directing, Raimi writes, produces, and even acts in a myriad of movies. His career helps legitimize the horror genre and shows young directors that anything is possible. While he has moved onto other genres, Raimi is most beloved for his work in horror. His incorporation of humor, special effects, and old-school style scares have created multiple classics. After his work on the Spider-Man movies, no one would have blamed him from staying away from horror movies. That's why a roar of approval came from the horror community when Raimi announced that he was writing and directing a new horror movie.

Drag Me To Hell is a 2009 supernatural horror movie written and directed by Sam Raimi (Evil Dead, Spider-Man) with writing help from his brother, Ivan Raimi. The film stars Alison Lohman (Gamer, Beowulf) as loan officer Christine Brown. Christine lives a fairly normal life in Los Angeles with her boyfriend Clay (Justin Long, Jeepers Creepers, Dodgeball) while trying to get a promotion as the bank she works in. Christine is insecure about her humble farm upbringing as well as her previous weight. One day, an elderly woman named Sylvia Ganush (Lorna Raver, The Caller, Breaking Waves) comes into the bank and asks Christine for another extension on her mortgage. Christine informs Ganush that she has already received two extensions, but asks her boss Jim Jacks (David Paymer, Mr. Saturday Night, State and Main) what he thinks. Jim leaves the decision up to Christine and, knowing her promotion depends on it, denies Ganush the lone. She makes a scene, begging Christine to reconsider. Scared, Christine calls security and Ganush is deeply shamed and insulted. That night, when Christine gets into her car, Ganush is waiting in the backseat and a fight ensues. She rips a button off Christine's coat and places a curse on her. After the attack, Christine and Clay meet with a fortune teller named Rham Jas (Dileep Rao, Avatar, Inception) to get her fortune read. Rham sees that she is haunted by an evil demon spirit and asks her to leave. Over the next few days, Christine is haunted by the demon known as the Lamia who is now after her soul. Christine goes to Ganush's house to try get her to remove the curse, but it is revealed that she has died. Desperate to stop the attacks, Christine kills her pet kitten to appease the demon, but it does not work. With the help of Rham, Christine has a séance with Shaun San Dena (Adriana Barraza) who has tried and failed to defeat the Lamia once before. The séance does not work and San Dena is killed in the process. Rham informs Christine that the only thing to save her now is to give her cursed button to someone else, passing the curse onto them. Will Christine be able to free herself before she is dragged to hell?

Robbing graves is still more respected than being a banker

Drag Me To Hell may be the first movie during this entire year where I was legitimately conflicted about my feelings. The movie had plenty of things I liked, but a good amount of things that I didn't. Normally, when there's something I don't like in a movie, whether it's a plot hole or a stupid scene, I can just write it off and move on. With Drag Me To Hell, the scenes I didn't like were actually done well and I couldn't just say “Oh that's stupid” and continue watching. A lot of these scenes revolve around the movie's humor. Some label the movie as a “horror comedy” but I think calling it a comedy is too far of a stretch. The jokes in the movie are very much in line with the humor from the Evil Dead series: gory over-the-top violence with improbably situations and clever one-liners. My problem with the humor in the movie is in the execution. The jokes tend to pop up out of nowhere, killing the actual horror. One good example is during the séance when the demon spirit is put into a goat. The evil goat then proceeds to talk and say dirty words. It's kind of funny, but not exactly a kneeslapper. More importantly, it renders the fear in the scene useless. It's a good, scary scene that turns into a goof off. Then there's scenes that are just plain silly, like when Christine's nose starts to bleed and then sprays all over her boss. It was just too random and unnecessary for my tastes, but it was still executed well. The movie takes a decidedly Evil Dead-esque turn towards the end which will delight fans of those movies, but may confuse the casual viewer. A scene in a graveyard has a strange cheapness to it unseen in the rest of the movie, using an obvious set with a green screen as the background? Again, it's not a bad scene, it's just jarring for the movie to just change like that.

The story itself is good, if a bit predictable. A gypsy is wronged and places a horrible curse on someone. Sound like another movie that I reviewed? How about Stephen King's Thinner? Sure the details are different, but the basic premise is similar. Even the big surprising ending reminded me of Thinner. Speaking of the ending, I found it a little disappointing and rather bothersome. It would have actually been nice to get the happy ending we were teased with. Instead, we get an ending that felt rushed and convenient. Raimi gets to flex his horror muscles once again, creating a spooky atmosphere and using lots of old and new tricks to get scares. The movie properly mixes current special effects and traditional effects that will entertain all types of horror fans. Alison Lohman is a good scream queen and would do well in other horror movies. Justin Long is fine though I still prefer him in comedy roles. Lorna Raver is very creepy as the gypsy Sylvia Ganush and helps make the movie far more scarier than you would expect. 

You complete me

Overall, Drag Me To Hell is a fun horror movie with a few problems. The humor feels out of place to me which really kills the horror. It's not bad humor, it just doesn't feel right. It's always difficult to balance horror and humor, but I think Drag Me To Hell should have just stuck with the horror. The acting is good and the directing is solid. Fans of Raimi's work will have a lot of fun from start to finish. Those unaccustomed to his brand of horror and humor will still enjoy the movie, but may be a little put off by how the movie jumps from horror to humor too quickly. The special and traditional effects are both good and the horror is fairly enjoyable. It's a good watch, but with a few tweaks, it could have been great.

7.5/10

Day 343: The Unborn

The Unborn

Evil is such a perv

Happy Hanukkah everyone! Even if you don't observe the Festival Of Lights, 'tis the season for joy, happiness and all that other good stuff. Light the candles, spin the dreidel and enjoy some tasty latkes. The thing about the holiday season and horror is that there are a ton of Christmas movies and zero about Hanukkah. Honestly, how many times can you make a movie about a murderous Santa Claus? Don't worry, I'll be reviewing some of those as we get closer to Christmas. While there are no Hanukkah horror movies, there are a few that focus on Judaism and Jewish mysticism. There's The Keep, The Golem, The Possessed, and today's movie, The Unborn. L'chaim!

The Unborn is a 2009 supernatural horror movie starring Odette Yustman (Cloverfield, October Road) as Casey Beldon. Casey has a bizarre dream in which a deceased-looking little boy with blue eyes is following her. The boy then turns into a dog which leads her into the woods where she discovers a fetus buried in the ground. The dream disturbs her, but she tries to forget about it. That night while babysitting her neighbor's kids, Casey finds the young son Matty holding a mirror up to the baby. He then hits Casey with the mirror before telling her “Jumby wants to be born now”. She is shocked by the strange incident and she has trouble trying to move on from what Matty said. She begins to have strange and very real hallucinations of the boy from her dream coming to get her. One day at school, Casey's friend Romee (Meagan Good, Stomp The Yard, D.E.B.S.) notices that one of Casey's eyes is changing color. She visits a doctor who says her condition is common among twins despite Casey being an only child. When she confronts her father, he reveals that she did indeed have a twin brother who died in the womb and that her mother had nicknamed him Jumby. While going through her mother's thing (her mother committed suicide some years ago), she discovers an article about a Holocaust survivor named Sofi Kozma (Jane Alexander, The Great White Hope, Testament) who has experience with the supernatural. After initially rebuffing Casey, Sofi reveals that she is Casey's grandmother. When she was a little girl, Sofi and her twin brother were experimented on at Auschwitz during World War II. The Nazis were trying to turn brown eyes blue when Sofi's brother was killed, only to arise two days later. Sofi believed her brother was now possessed by a dybbuk (a malevolent spirit) looking to cross over into the world of the living. She killed her brother, but the dybbuk continued to haunt her, trying to come into our world through her daughter, Casey's mother. Casey reaches out to Rabbi Sendak (Gary Oldman, Air Force One, Batman Begins) to perform an exorcism and rid the world of the dybbuk. At the same time, the dybbuk begins to kill those around Casey including Sofi and Romee. Will Casey and Rabbi Sendak be able to perform the exorcism before it's too late?

Dybbuk needs braces and a good cleanser

Exorcism movies tend to blend together because of their strong Christian/Catholic themes and overtones. There are crucifixes, holy water, “The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost” and usually a priest suffering from some sort of crisis of faith. You've seen one exorcism movies, you've seen them all, right? The Unborn has none of that, though, instead focusing on Jewish mysticism, Hebrew prayers, and symbols such as the Hand Of Miriam. Just by being different, The Unborn manages to be at least semi-interesting for most of the time. Of course, once you get beyond the Judaism angle, it's pretty obvious that The Unborn is still your typical exorcism movie. The movie does try to be different by throwing in a little bit of history with Sofi and the Nazi experiments in Auschwitz, but it actually makes the story messier. Not enough time is given to the experiments as they're quickly glossed over. The movie has an almost too-fast pace, rushing from scene to scene where a little more introspection and background would have created more likable characters and a better story. Writer/director David Goyer (Blade, Man Of Steel) has some good ideas and a fairly decent grasp on what he is writing about, the execution is off. The revelation of a twin brother came within the first 20 minutes when it should have been dragged out much further. And what's the deal with the nickname “Jumby”? At first, I thought they were talking about Jambi from Pee Wee's Playhouse. “Mecca Lecca High, Mecca Hiney Ho” indeed.

The Unborn relies mostly of jump-at-you moments and quick sound swells for scares. It's good for a few jolts, but since the movie is PG-13, don't expect anything particularly shocking or horrifying. The most effective scares are when people (and one animal) have twisted body parts and move in an inhuman way. Like the spider walk and the head turning in The Exorcist, it's these unnatural movements that stick with you the most. There are some decent special effects and the movie has a slick look to it, thanks in part to being produced by Michael Bay and his Platinum Dunes production company. There's some action throughout, but nothing major. The acting in the movie is passable with no one putting in a particularly great performance. Jane Alexander and Gary Oldman are both fine, but aren't in the movie for very long. Odette Yustman is OK and I have no real complaints, although it would have been nice if the main role went to a Jewish actress, just from a story standpoint. 

"Shabbat Shalom, you evil dybbuk bastard!"

It was refreshing to see a supernatural exorcism movie focusing on Judaism instead of Catholicism. It breaks from the usual cliches and creates something different for the audience to focus on. Despite the different background, though, The Unborn is just your typical exorcism movie. There are some cheap scares and some decent special effects, but the PG-13 rating keeps the movie from being truly scary. The movie has some believability issues and the rushed background information makes the story messier than it has to be. The acting is fine and the story has some good ideas, but it's just not enough to pull everything together. The subject matter for The Unborn is suited for a slightly more mature crowd, but the movie itself is better off at a teenage slumber party than with hardcore horror fans.

5/10

Day 334: Onibaba

Onibaba

Where's Giant Baba?

And now for something completely different. When you plan to watch over 300 horror movies, you start to run out of movies you want to see. It's not like there's a shortage of horror movies out there, it's just that there's only so many good ones to go around. I've checked off many classics and must-sees on my list and there's a few more outstanding ones still to be watched. I've taken to looking at “best of” to make sure I haven't missed any major movies. Most of the lists tend to have the same movies, just in different order. I did manage to find with with a slew of lesser-known European and Asian movies. Today's movie caught my eye just for being so completely different: a Japanese horror movie from the 1960's that takes place in the 14^th century. Yeah, that's something different, alright.

Onibaba (translated as Demon Hag) is a 1964 historical horror drama written and directed by Kaneto Shindo (The Naked Island, Tree Without Leaves). The movie stars Nobuko Otowa (A Last Note, The Naked Island) as Older woman and Jitsuko Yoshimura (The Insect Woman, Pigs and Battleships) as Younger woman. In 14^th century feudal Japan, a civil war has erupted between fiefdoms. Through the ravages of war and famine, both woman survive by killing lost soldiers who wander near their home. They hide in fields and when the soldiers come buy, they viciously stab them to death. The women strip the soldiers of their armor and weapons and trade them with a merchant for food. Hachi (Kei Sato, The Human Condition, The Ceremony), a neighbor to the women, returns from war and informs the older woman that her son was killed. Her son was also the husband of the younger woman. Hachi helps the women kill two soldiers and soon beings to seduce the younger woman. She begins to sneak out of her hut at night to have sex with Hachi. The older woman follows her one night and discovers their secret relationship. Afraid that the younger woman will leave her and make killing soldiers too difficult, the older woman begs Hachi to end the affair, but he refuses. One night, a lost samurai wearing a demon masks comes across the older woman and asks her for directions. He refuses to remove his mask, saying he is the most handsome man in Kyoto and that the older woman would be overcome by his good looks. She leads him through a field and he falls into a large gaping hole where the women dump the bodies of their victims. She climbs down and, after struggling mightily, removes his mask, revealing a hideously disfigured face. She dons the mask nightly and terrorizes the younger woman, preventing her from seeing Hachi. What will happen between the women and why was the mask so difficult to remove?

"Touch Of Death, do your thing!"

Onibaba is a beautifully stylistic and artistic movie, rarely if ever seen in horror. Scenes are visually striking thanks to pretty scenery and Kaneto Shindo's incredibly skillful eye. There is a variety of shots at different angles throughout the film which help convey the emotion of each scene. The black-and-white film helps give the movie a more classic look. The movie does have some good social commentary, questioning motives and instinct of survival. The horror of war and the horror of loss are two strong themes in the movie and make you really feel for both woman. The older woman dons the mask, becoming a demon herself. Her selfishness and jealousy has twisted her priorities and her love for the younger woman. It's interesting that both main characters are never actually named. Perhaps that is to allow the audience to project their own tags to them? It's not to lessen or demean them because they are both strong female characters, a constant in Shindo's films.

To be fair, Onibaba isn't a traditional horror movie. While there are sinister hints and questionable actions, the true horror doesn't come in until the last 20 minutes. Prior to that, we have a historical drama focusing on emotions and the struggles of war. It's good, no question, but horror fans will feel very antsy waiting for things to happen. There are a few too many extended scenes of ravenous eating and there is a surprising amount of nudity. The mask used has a traditional look, but it still manages to be unsettling, creating a look of sinister sadness, perfect for the older woman. While it's no Akira Kurosawa film, there is some action and violence in the movie. The main excitement comes from the end when Onibaba actually becomes horror.

"But Halloween hasn't even been invented yet!"

Onibaba would fit in with the art house crowd as well as fans of traditional horror. The movie looks great thanks to beautiful locations and great direction. The acting is very good and makes the story very believable. If there is one problem it's that the movie is very slow and takes a long time to get to any excitement. The blood-splattered horror fans will grow frustrated, but the movie deserves the right amount of patience and thoughtfulness. Onibaba is a good movie if you're looking for something a little different and a little special. It's not for everyone, but to those that appreciate the art of filmmaking and a good overall story, it's a hidden gem.

7.5/10

Day 310: The Last Exorcism

The Last Exorcism

Twister: Satanic Edition

There have been possession/exorcism movies before and after but none come close to the sheer terror and quality of The Exorcist. It is the alpha and the omega of possession horror. Many have tried to emulate it and many have failed. It's almost unfair to compare other movies to The Exorcist. It is a movie unto itself. All that being said, it's hard not to do so because the themes that run through that movie are identical to all others. The heavy religious imagery, religious commentary, the questioning of faith, and some scary violence. Those things could describe countless possession movies. Because of this, newer movies are required to come up with new ideas, new twists, and new gimmicks to differentiate themselves from the standard bearer of exorcisms in horror. One of those gimmicks is my old “favorite,” found footage.

The Last Exorcism is a 2010 found footage-style exorcism movie starring Patrick Fabian (Bad Ass, Providence) as Reverend Cotton Marcus. Cotton is followed be a small documentary crew to expose exorcism as a fraud. He has performed exorcisms in the past, but does not believe in demons or possessed individuals. Along with the crew, Cotton travels to a small town in Louisiana after receiving a letter asking for his help in performing an exorcism. The letter is written by Louis Sweetzer (Louis Herthum, True Blood, JAG) claiming that his daughter Nell (Ashley Bell, The Day, United States Of Tara) is possessed. After meeting with Nell, Cotton tells her father that she is possessed by a demon called Abalam. Cotton uses a myriad of tricks and props to make it appear that he is casting a demon out of Nell, to the satisfaction of her father. That night, Nell randomly appears in Marcus's hotel room in a disheveled state. They take her to a hospital to get checked out and everything comes back normal. Cotton visits the Sweetzer's former pastor, Joseph Manley (Tony Bentley, Cadillac Records, From The Rough), who explains that he hasn't been in contact with the family in a few years. After his wife's death, Louis became ultra religious and pulled his family out of the church and homeschooled his children. Nell inexplicably cuts her brother's face and Louis chains her to her bed. Cotton and the film crew free her, but her strange actions continue. A doctor from the hospital leaves a message, stating that Nell is in fact pregnant. Convinced that Louis raped her, Cotton and the crew wait for him to come home. Tempers flare and Nell attacks Cotton. He agrees to perform another exorcism, but things are not what they same. Is Nell really possessed or is there something else going on and how is Pastor Manley involved?

Power slide!

As with every other exorcism movie, religion does play a large part of the movie, but not in the typical way. The Last Exorcism puts a twist on the “loss of faith” theme. The movie doesn't focus on Cotton's return to faith and allows the movie to progress. The movie doesn't feel too preachy and doesn't rely heavily on Christian imagery. That was quite a relief as other movies tend to bash the audience over the head with crosses and Jesuses (Jesusi?). By not being as straight-forward as other exorcism movies, The Last Exorcism is free to craft better characters without having to force cliches and stereotypes. Both Patrick Fabian and Ashley Bell put in good performances, making both of their characters likable and believable. This likability is important because it makes the audience care about what is going on. The story itself is on the fairly mundane side with a few twists and turns that didn't really work for me. Things felt rushed and convenient with the express purpose of getting to the “shocking” ending with about 3 minutes left in the film. The movie lacked the proper amount of foreshadowing to be believable and felt too random. The final few seconds were straight out of the Blair Witch Project and I hated that movie.

The main gimmick of this movie is the use of found footage. As I've said in other reviews, I'm not really a fan of this style. It does allow for quicker scares, but it really isn't necessary for a movie like The Last Exorcism. Beyond the fast jolts, there really aren't many scary things about the film. I can't stand the shakiness of the camera and the phony focusing that occurs. Personally, I think a few quick scares are not a good tradeoff for a good story. There is a bit violence, though most is directed at a cat, which I didn't care for. The movie is rated PG-13 which blows my mind. Why would you handcuff your movie and take out the necessary and desired violence from the horror crowd? Do you really want a 14 year old to see a movie talking about rape and incest and demonic possession? By going soft on the violence and language, the movie becomes watered-down and generic. It doesn't have to be a splatterfest, but a few more scenes of violence and some real-life dialogue would have improved the movie immensely.

All the kids are doing the "Possessed" at the dance clubs

The Last Exorcism has a few good things going for it, but it tends to blend in with all the other exorcism movies. The story is fairly mediocre and the twists are too convenient and not very surprising. The ending feels very rushed and a lack of foreshadowing made it appear to come out of nowhere. The found footage may appeal to some, but I found it unnecessary and occasionally nauseating. The acting in the movie is good and there is solid character development. I truly think the PG-13 rating held the movie back and made it too bland for your average horror fan. While it's not a terrible movie, there were just too many thing in it that I didn't like.

5.5/10

Day 296: The Devil's Rock

The Devil's Rock

The Angel's Roll

I've said it before, but it is worth repeating: There just aren't that many war-based horror movies. Sure, they exist, but compared to something like “babysitter slashers”, it's not even close. When it comes to war horror, most tend to be set during World War II. While I'd like to see a horror movie take place during the American Revolution or, say, The Peloponnesian War, WWII does offer a lot more room for creativity and variety. You can have various nationalities and locations in the movie without being historically inaccurate. Of course, these movies tend to blend together, so it's important to separate them with the horror itself. Some of these WWII horror movies have had zombies, ghosts, and for today's review, a shape-shifting demon.

The Devil's Rock is a 2011 supernatural horror movie from New Zealand. The movie stars Craig Hall (30 Days Of Night, The Water Horse) as Captain Ben Grogan, a New Zealand soldier on a sabotage mission one day before the Allied invasion of Normandy. Joined by Sergeant Joe Tane (Karlos Drinkwater), the two soldiers land on Forau Island to destroy a bunker and distract Nazi forces while the invasion begins. They hear a woman screaming inside the bunker and are surprised to see a Nazi soldier coming towards them, asking for help. Ben stabs him in the back and makes his way into the bunker. They are surprised to find the bunker empty except for the mutilated corpses of German soldiers. Joe discovers book of black magic and while he is distracted, is shot. Ben hears the gunfire and when he reaches Joe, he is knocked out. He awakens to discover that he has been bound by Colonel Meyer (Matthew Sunderland, Out Of The Blue, Stringer), who begins torturing him for information. Eventually, Ben escapes and chases Meyer through a series of tunnels and shoots him. He discovers a room covered in occult symbols and finds the source of the screams. He is shocked to discover that the woman screaming is his dead wife, Helena (Gina Varela, The Market, Xena: Warrior Princess). An injured Meyer shoots Ben in the leg and then shoots Helena in the head. He explains that she is really a shape-shifting demon, conjured up by the Nazis to use as a weapon. As proof, Meyer offers a still-alive Helena the leg of a dead German soldier. As she begins feasting, she reverts to her true demonic form. Can Ben trust Meyer in order to rid the world of this demon, before she manages to free herself?

"Do I have something in my nose?"

Zzzzzzzzzz. Oh, I'm sorry. I could barely keep my eyes open typing out that plot. If you couldn't tell, I found The Devil's Rock to be very boring. If I wanted to be lazy, I could have easily written just 3 sentences for the entire story and it would have essentially been just as good as the previous paragraph. There isn't much to the story beyond soldier finds demon who looks like his wife and can he trust this Nazi. The movie lacks any suspense, making the hour and a half feel like a marathon to watch. Without the suspense, what's the point of watching? Having a small cast doesn't help either. We know neither Ben nor Meyer can die too early, otherwise where is the conflict or the character foil? I never completely buy the demon's ability to persuade Ben other than just looking like his wife. Speaking of looks, when the demon's true form is revealed, I almost laughed out loud. Quick, think of what a cartoon devil looks like. That's how the demon in The Devil's Rock looked like. Of course, she was naked, but still, a cliché down to the rubber horns and bright red skin.

Seriously, where's your plastic pitchfork?

There is some action in the movie, but not as much as you'd expect from a movie set the day before D-Day. Most of the movie is filled with talking which was often too quite for me to fully hear, despite cranking up the volume. I was rewarded for my efforts to hear by having my eardrums blasted with insanely loud screams intermittently placed throughout the movie. I will say that the movie did put more effort into being historically accurate than most war-based horror movies. There is quite a lot of gore and blood, though we only see the aftermath of violence. Why not show us the goods? I mean, the makeup and prosthetics look great, but it would have made the movie far more entertaining to see the demon inflict violence on the Nazis. Everyone can enjoy that. There are references to actual events during the war and the movie is sure to include facts of New Zealanders fighting in the war. I can't say that I've ever seen a movie from New Zealand (Lord Of The Rings doesn't count) so it was neat to see a horror movie from a different perspective. Unfortunately, this movie is neither scary nor entertaining. 

No thanks. I already ate.

The Devil's Rock is a mediocre story that lacks that suspense to make it a good watch. There is not much in the way of character development or story progression. It lacks the proper amount of violence, especially considering the amount of gore we see. Seeing the violence would have made the movie more entertaining and would have created more suspense. Instead, we get a lot of dialogue, some of which is inaudible, and some screaming. The demon's true form looks ridiculous and would have been far more effective if they only hinted at what it looked like. It's nice that they made the effort to be historically accurate and to mention the efforts of New Zealanders during the war. Beyond being a horror film from New Zealand, The Devil's Rock has nothing else going for it.

3/10

Day 290: The Shrine

The Shrine

Shrine on, you crazy diamond

Don't go to a foreign country. Don't leave your state. Don't even leave your couch. The world of horror has taught us that going anywhere is a recipe for a disaster. Help is not coming and no one will ever find you. That's being a little dramatic, but it does occasionally happen in real life, which makes these movies more plausible. Granted, you're not going to be horribly murdered visiting the Hockey Hall Of Fame in Toronto, although that would be an awesome horror movie. Most of these travel horror movies take place in remote locations and require the main characters to be incredibly dumb. It's a a tried and true horror recipe.

The Shrine is a 2010 horror movie starring Cindy Sampson (Swamp Devil, Supernatural) as journalist Carmen and Aaron Ashmore (Smallville, Warehouse 13) as her boyfriend and photographer Marcus. Carmen gets wind of a story where a young American man named Eric Taylor disappeared while traveling in Poland and wants to investigate. She also mentioned that his luggage showed up in the Czech Republic despite never traveling there. Her boss does not give her permission to go and instead gives her a story covering bees that have gone missing. Carmen and her intern Sara (Meghan Heffern, Chloe, The Fog) visit Eric's mother and borrows his journal. Ignoring her boss, Carmen takes Sara and Marcus to Eric's last known whereabouts: a small village in Poland called Alvania. The find the villagers to be extremely secretive and unwelcoming. They talk to a little girl and show her a picture of Eric. She shows shock and fear at the picture, but a farmer named Henryk (Trevor Matthews, Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer, Teen Massacre) stops her from speaking to the group. Walking around, they take note that the villagers all treat their religious leaders like royalty. The walk out to the woods where a strange, unmoving fog hangs over the land. Sara disappears into the fog and Carmen goes in to find her. She comes across a large statue of a demon holding a heart. The statue's eyes begin to bleed and the heart starts to beat. Both Carmen and Sara escape the fog and begin to hear strange whispering. As they head for their car, the little girl from before brings them to a hidden tomb that contains the bodies of several people, including Eric. Each body has a white robe on and a strange mask that cannot be removed. They are locked in the tomb by the little girl and have to pry the door open to escape. They are attacked by the villagers who capture both Sara and Carmen while Marcus is forced to dig a grave. The girls are taken to a sacrificial tomb and Sara is strapped to an altar. Her wrists and Achilles' heels are slashed and one of the masks is forcibly placed on her face, killing her. While trapped, Carmen begins to see demonic faces on the villager's bodies. Marcus is able to escape his captor and rescues Carmen, fleeing into the woods. Will they be able to escape, what really happened in that fog, and why are the villagers killing people?

Making her wear white after Labor Day? You monsters!

Have you ever watched a movie and picked out scenes that were similar to 4 or 5 other movies? I kept doing that while watching The Shrine, more so than any other horror movie to date. It doesn't help that they remind me of much better horror movies that I'd rather be watching. The general torture of Americans in a foreign land, combined with the Achilles cutting scene reminded me of Hostel. The foreign land with a weird , archaic religion is like The Wicker Man. On top of not being completely original, the movie's biggest problem is that the story is just not very good. There are a lot of holes in the plot that really stuck with me. If the villagers know that going into the fog is a bad idea, why don't they warn anybody? Put a sign up, erect a road block, tell foreigners not to go in there. Something, anything to avoid this apparently constant problem. Another issue I had was the character of Sara. It was blatantly obvious from the beginning that she was there just to be killed. She didn't have a lot of development or even a love interest. A good amount of dialogue in the movie is in another language (I'm assuming Polish). Normally, I much prefer movies taking place in another country to be in it's native tongue. The problem is, there are no subtitles, so I have no clue what is going on. If giving away part of the plot is an issue, just rewrite things to keep the story vague.

I kept waiting for the story to lead to something important and that only happened in the last 10 minutes or so. There is a decent twist in the movie, you just have to wait an absurdly long time for it to happen, which is a shame because the twist was far more interesting that a majority of the movie. The movie touches on a few too many horror subgenres, including torture, possession, and exorcism, which leave the movie without a solid identity. There is a good amount of action and violence, with the final scene upping the ante in terms of blood and gore. If the rest of the movie had been like the last 10 minutes, I would have enjoyed it a lot more. The acting is fine with no real complaints. Composer Ryan Shore actually received a Grammy nomination for the soundtrack, but I honestly don't remember anything about the music in this movie.

"Sup, baby. What's a demon gotta do to get your number?"

A lot of things in The Shrine just feel forced and rushed. The story progresses only because the characters make terrible decisions. There are a lot of plot holes and general annoyances that are too much to ignore. The story is all over the place and hard to focus on, especially since a lot of the dialogue is not in English. There is a good amount of violence and some great gore at the end, but it's just not enough to make you want to sit through everything else. The Shrine desperately wanted to be all sorts of different horror movies and we end up with something unoriginal and not terribly fun to watch.

4.5/10

Day 262: Mirrors

Mirrors

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the Kieferiest of them all?

Using a mirror in a horror movie is one of the oldest tricks in the book. They're always good for a quick scare and fun special effect. Some say that mirrors are a window into the soul. Personally, I think they're just a shiny surface that occasionally get covered in toothpaste when you don't close your mouth during brushing. Either way, the mirror is a useful horror tool, whether it was in Prince Of Darkness or A Nightmare On Elm Street or Stir of Echoes or The Ring. One can even say that the use of mirrors in horror is a cliché. Would an entire horror movie based on mirrors fit or break the mold?

Mirrors is a 2008 horror movie, based off ideas from the South Korean movie Into The Mirror, starring Kiefer Sutherland (24, Phone Booth) as former NYPD Detective Ben Carson. After an accidental shooting, Ben was suspended from the police force and fell into a downward spiral of alcohol and depression. His wife Amy (Paula Patton, Precious, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol) left him and tries to limit his visits with their children Daisy and Michael. Ben is reduced to living in an apartment with his sister, Angela (Amy Smart, Road Trip, Crank) and has to take a job as a night security guard. His post is at Mayflower, a luxury department store that was gutted by a fire which killed many people. Unknown to Ben, the previous guard, Gary Lewis, was killed by supernatural means after his own reflection cut his throat. On his first night of guard duty, Ben sees all the mirrors in the building covered with hand prints, but the prints are on the reflected side of the glass facing out. Over time, he begins to see and feel visions of people on fire and begging for help. Ben actually receives a package sent from Gary, the now dead guard, with newspaper clippings about the fire and how a previous guard murdered his family, blaming their deaths on something in mirrors. As Ben begins to research the incident, Angela is viciously killed when her reflection rips pulls her jaw apart. In a fit of rage, Ben tries to break the mirrors in Mayflower, but they cannot be damaged. He asks the mirror what is wants and the name “Esseker” appears on the mirror's surface. By using his detective skills, Ben discovers that the department store was built on top of St. Matthews Hospital which housed a room full over mirrors used to treat mental patients. The name Esseker belonged to a young schizophrenic patient named Anna Esseker who had escaped a mass suicide at the hospital before it closed. Ben is able to find Anna who has since become a nun. She explains that she was not schizophrenic, but had some sort of demon inside her that escaped into the mirrors. With his family in terrible danger, with Ben and Anna be able to stop the mirrors in time?

And you think you had a bad day

I don't know if I've ever seen another movie that started out so strong and ended with such a thud. The first twenty-five or so minutes of Mirrors is a great mixture of suspense, mystery, and horror. The story is set up properly, giving us a bit of action in the very beginning and then filling in all the details of Ben's personal life. His story plays out like the typical “fired cop” character, complete with alcohol problem and shattered family life. It's so clichéd that I half-expected him to report to an irate chief and work with a partner that's “too old for this shit”. The beginning of the movie has a great horror atmosphere with the burned-out department store as the perfect setting. Everything is broken and burnt except for the immaculate mirrors. The special effects used to show the spirits in the department store look very good and Amy Smart's death scene is incredibly violent and disturbing. The inclusion of the evil being able to reach his loved ones was quite smart as it forced Ben to solve the problem. Many horror movies are lazy and keep characters in a haunted spot with no good reason not to leave. It's when the movie is taken out of the department store that things begin to fall apart.

The movie focuses too much on uncovering the mystery and gets far too complicated for it's own good. The addition of the hospital, a demon and Anna Esseker takes the story into a strange and unnecessary direction. One would think that the spirits (or demon, whatever it is) inside the mirrors were trapped souls looking for some measure of peace or something along those lines. It's far easier and entertaining to just have Ben looking for the real culprit of the fire than sending him on a wild goose chase. The department store was such a good setting that taking him out of it takes away from the horror of the movie. It doesn't help that the movie spends a good 20 minutes focused on Amy trying to save her kids while Ben tries to convince Anna to help him. These scenes just drag on for way too long and force the movie into a run-time of 111 minutes. That's unnecessary and it brings down the entire movie. Kiefer Sutherland is good, channeling a healthy dose of his Jack Bauer character from 24. Paula Patton does well enough, but like a lot of horror movies, the children are just too annoying for me to handle. Director Alexandre Aja (Piranha, The Hills Have Eyes) has some good moments, but doesn't get the most out of what should have been easy scares.

"I'm sorry, I got lost in my handsomness for a second."

Mirrors is a convoluted story that fizzled far quicker than it should have. What started out as a promising and fun horror movie became a complicated and boring supernatural mystery that was neither exciting nor thrilling. There are a few good scenes of violence and gore, but not enough to sustain the extra long run-time. It makes you wonder, if they're capable of showing extreme violence, why only settle for one or two scenes? The acting is decent and certainly helps make the movie more tolerable than if it were done by less-skilled actors. It's a shame that the movie turned out the way it did, because it really had a lot of potential, but potential can only take you so far.

4.5/10

Day 242: Paranormal Activity

Paranormal Activity

The least sexy bedroom scene ever

When the general public loves something, I tend to ignore it. Be it music, television, or movies, if the majority of people like it, that means I should stay away. It's not some subconscious angst-ridden “I hate the world” feeling, I just don't trust the majority's taste. Take a look at the Top 100 on Billboard. Nothing but horrendous pop and toothless hip-hop. Good music is out there, it's just not what's on the radio and what's consumed by the masses. I have never heard that “Call Me Maybe” song, but I know I don't have to. I already know it's an audio piece of shit thanks to all the attention it's been given. When a horror movie gains popularity among non-horror fans, I avoid it at all cost, knowing that I am not going to like it. Paranormal Activity is a prime example of this practice. Well, enough time has passed for me to give it a shot.

Paranormal Activity is a 2007 supernatural horror movie written and directed by Oren Peli (Chernobyl Diaries, Area 51). The movie stars Katie Featherston (Mutation, The River) as Katie and Micah Sloat (Paranormal Activity 2) as her boyfriend Micah. Katie and Micah live together in a nice townhouse in San Diego, California. Katie claims to have been haunted by an evil presence ever since she was a young child. Fearing that the presence has returned in their new home, Micah purchases a fancy new camera to document any paranormal activities in the house. He also mounts the camera in their bedroom to catch any happenings while they sleep. The first night, footsteps are heard, but nothing else happens. A psychic named Dr. Fredrichs visits the house and determines that Katie is haunted by a demon, not a ghost. Micah does not take him serious and inquires about using a Ouija board to contact the demon. Dr. Fredrichs implores them not to use the board because contacting the demon could be seen as an invitation. Out of his depth, he advises the couple to contact a demonologist , Dr. Johann Averies. Over the next few nights, the camera picks up minor activity such as lights turning on and off and the bedroom door moving. As the days pass, Micah begins to taunt the demon and goof on Katie who is becoming more and more frightened. On the thirteenth night, the are awoken by an unearthly screech and loud bang. Two nights later, Katie gets up In the middle of the night and stands in front of the bed for hours before Micah finds her sitting outside with no recollection of what has happened. Micah gets out a Ouija board despite Dr. Fredrichs's warning, infuriating Katie. When they leave, the board catches fire and leaves a strange message. On the seventeenth night, Micah leaves powder on the floor to leave a trail for anything that might walk through it. When they wake, they see non-human footprints in the powder leading to the attic. In the attic, Micah finds an old picture of Katie that she thought had been lost in a childhood fire. They ask Dr. Fredrichs for help, but he quickly leaves, citing the great evil in the house being too strong. With the paranormal activities becoming more and more violent, what will Katie and Micah do?

Thrilling

It's no surprise that Paranormal Activity reminds me so much of The Blair Witch Project. Both films found major success thanks to a viral advertising campaign based on it's “found footage” and usage of unknown actors. While found footage allows movies to have a more realistic feel (as well as a much cheaper budget), it also takes away from the storytelling aspect of horror. Thanks to the found footage style, Paranormal Activity connects with the audience on a more personal level. Rather than being set in a haunted house, the movie takes place entirely in a nice suburban townhouse. This real-world setting allows the audience to identify with the characters as we've all heard strange bumps in the night at one point or another. When you take a step back, though, there really isn't much of a story in Paranormal Activity. It was a smart touch to have Katie be haunted rather than the house, solving the all-to-common problem of ghost movies where people just don't move out of the house. By creating this past, though, it leaves a big gap in the movie for potential story interest and character development. We never really find out why she is haunted or by what? We don't need complete answers, but a little something would have gone a long way.

There are some frightening moments in the movie thanks to implied horror and fear of the unknown. Most of these scenes are accomplished through good old-fashioned horror tricks and movie making. Sound is an important part of the movie as there is no music to give the audience warning that something is about to happen. The problem with the movie is that it's just a series of events with minor things in between. By the time we get through half of the movie, we already know the pattern, making the movie predictable. A thump here, a bang there, some chit chat, more sounds etc. The movie also lacked in character development. I would have liked Katie to have been more sympathetic than how she was portrayed. Micah is incredibly annoying and unnecessarily douchey, making me almost cheer for the demon to get him. This also makes the movie like The Blair Witch Project because by the end of that movie I was also cheering for the villain to kill the main characters. It's never good when you want the main characters to meet a horrible end. 

Douche activity

Paranormal Activity is a great testament to how an independent movie with good execution can become a success. I can understand how a movie like this would become popular among the masses. The same thing happened for The Blair Witch Project 20 years ago. That being said, my initial feelings towards avoiding a horror movie popular among the masses were right. The story is very basic and tends to become predictable and boring at times. At the end of the day, Paranormal Activity is just a series of brief scary moments. The scares are decent for the most part and the found footage style fit well with what Oren Peli was going for. I would have liked a little more back-story and more action to make the movie a more complete watch. It's not a bad movie, it's just not as special as some people made it out to be. I don't know if it was worth all the sequels (and horrible ripoffs like “Paranormal Entity”), but there is money to be made, so the studios will milk that cash cow dry. Ignore the hype because it is not the scariest movie ever made. I fully expect another found footage horror movie to become popular in about 10 years or so. You can thank The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity for that.

5/10

Day 181: Inkubus

Inkubus

Spelling was always his worst subject

I don’t go to horror conventions. I have nothing against them, they just don’t appeal all that much to me. Buy some movies, get your picture with Kane Hodder, see some people dressed up as movie characters. There’s nothing wrong with that, I just have little desire to see trailers for upcoming movies or listen to a panel discussion from the crew working on Saw 19: This Time It’s Personal. Also, I don’t feel like driving long distances to be around sweaty nerds (love you guys, keep visiting the site!). Such wasn’t the case though, when the people involved with the Independent horror movie Inkubus came literally within walking distance of me to talk about the movie. Oh, and Robert Englund was going to be there. ROBERT ENGLUND! They played a trailer for the movie and answered questions from the group. To my disappointment, Mr. Englund could not make it, but his co-star William Forsythe was there and was kind enough to take a picture with me. It was time to finally see Inkubus.

Your favorite blogger with Mr. William Forsythe

Inkubus is a 2011 independent horror movie starring Joey Fatone (My Big Fat Greek Wedding, being in freaking N’SYNC) as Detective Tom Caretti, William Forsythe (Raising Arizona, The Rock) as retired Detective Gil Diamante, and Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street, 2001 Maniacs) as Inkubus. The movie is told mostly in flashback told by a committed Det. Caretti. A small crew is working the final shift in their closing police station in Wood Haven, Rhode Island when a young man arrives named Mikes, covered in the blood of his decapitated girlfriend. He claims to have seen a man covered in shadow in his room before blacking out. As Miles is being questioned, a man named Inkubus walks into the police station holding a woman’s severed head. He surrenders freely, making his phone call via magic to retired Detective Diamante, beckoning to come to the station so he could confess. Diamante was the closest to capturing Inkubus and was eventually committed after the murder of his wife and disappearance of his son. Inkubus reveals that he has committed numerous murders over the centuries and is closing in on being 100 years old. To continue his survival, he must be reborn in a new body. Using his powers, Inkubus begins to play mind games with the officers and killing them in brutal fashion. Will Diamante finally confront his demon and why is Officer Jen Cole, Caretti’s girlfriend, suddenly in such much pain?

Even evil demons need nap time

Independent horror movies are a real mixed bag. Usually low in budget and star power, indie horror has to rely on creative ideas, good storytelling, and innovative tricks to set themselves apart from bigger Hollywood productions. Inkubus is the exception to the rule because it has established actors involved. Robert Englund, one of the kings of horror, is great as Inkubus, relishing in the character’s evil malevolence. On paper, lines like “Abra-fucking-cadabra” and “Killing is magic” may seem clichéd, but uttered by Englund, it takes on a serious and sinister feel. William Forsythe is enjoyable as the broken and emotionally fragile Diamante. His soft demeanor creates an air of sympathy from the audience and really makes us want to see him defeat Inkubus. Joey Fatone is OK, it’s just hard to talk him seriously as an authority figure. The performances by the supporting cast range from passable to questionable.

The story itself has a few good moments, but overall, doesn’t feel particularly thrilling or interesting. It pretty much boils down to “evil supernatural being fucks with some cops.” There are a few good moments and a decent idea or two, but it just misses the mark in terms of being a complete movie. Making the story told in flashback by Joey Fatone while he’s in an insane asylum is clichéd and unnecessary. Adding this little bit is pointless and adds nothing to the movie other than seeing the guy from N’SYNC in a straight jacket in the world’s brightest white room. The movie tries to compensate with some questionable special effects and a surprising amount of blood and gore. I mean, one person’s spine gets ripped out. Spine. Gets. Ripped. Out. It’s unexpected to say the least and is unintentionally funny when you see Robert Englund just holding a spine in his hand. Another poor effect occurs when Officer Cole gives birth to a demon baby. It look so silly and the movie would have been better served implying the baby is a demon than showing a Cabbage Patch doll with horns covered in red food coloring. Sometimes less is more.

Inkubus has some good moments and lots of gorey violence, but it’s just not enough to get over a mediocre story that doesn’t really go anywhere. Robert Englund and William Forsythe put on strong performances and actually make the movie far more tolerable than it would have been if unknown actors had the lead roles. I liked that the film took place in Rhode Island, a state full of scary places and colonial history. As far as independent horror goes, Inkubus isn’t that bad. I have seen much, much worse. It’s heart was in the right place, it just needed a head to follow.

5.5/10 

Day 168: The Rite

The Rite

Give me a 'T'!

Quick, think of a movie where the Devil possesses someone and it's up to 2 priests, one suffering from a crisis of faith, to exorcise it. You're probably thinking The Exorcist, right? That's the problem with just about every possession/exorcism horror movie; they all sound like The Exorcist. It's almost unfair to compare anything that came after The Exorcist because they're just not going to come close. People were convinced that Satan was actually imprinted onto the film and people legitimately fled theaters in horror. You can't beat press like that. It's up to newer movies to set themselves apart and be special, not just rehash the same old thing. It helps to have Anthony Hopkins.

The Rite is a 2011 horror movie starring Colin O'Donoghue (The Tudors, Proof) as Michael Kovak and Anthony Hopkins (Silence Of The Lambs, Thor) as Father Lucas Trevant. Michael is disillusioned as a mortician, following in his father's (Rutger Hauer, Blade Runner, Hobo With A Shotgun) footsteps and decides to go to seminary school. He does not feel a true connection with God and even questions his existence. After being ordained, Michael writes a letter of resignation that is rejected by his superior. He is warned that his scholarship would be revoked and he would owe $100,000 in loans. After giving last rites to a woman dying after an accident, Michael is sent to Rome to study exorcisms in exchange for loan payments. In class, he meets a reporter named Angelina (Alice Braga, City of God, Predators) who is writing about exorcisms. Still an unbeliever, Michael is sent to see Father Lucas, a Welsh priest experienced in exorcisms. They meet with a young pregnant girl named Rosaria who appears to be possessed. Despite witnessing strange events, like Rosaria coughing up nails, Michael remains skeptical. A possessed Rosaria beings to address Michael and ask him very specific questions about his father and his faith. Her condition worsens and she is committed to a hospital where she eventually dies. Father Lucas is distraught and begins to act strangely. Michael learns that his father has had a stroke. He speaks to his father on the phone, but it interrupted by a doctor saying his father died earlier in the day. Michael begins to hear various voices torturing and testing him. Along with Angelina, Michael goes to Father Lucas only to find that he himself has become possessed. Will Michael be able to save Father Lucas and himself?

"Made in China"? What the Hell?!

The Rite is based on “actual events” from the book The Making of a Modern Exorcist. I'm not really sure what their definition of actual events are, but it gives an interesting perspective to the movie. Like I said, it's hard to not compare The Rite to The Exorcist. Both movies are very similar with the main difference being which character has a crisis of faith. This is your standard exorcism movie with very little in the way of actual horror. The spiritual journey of the characters is fine, if not a tad bit predictable. Sure, there's a few jolts here and there, but nothing particularly scary. If you're the religious type, you may find yourself frightened and affected with all the demon talk, but your average horror fan won't find much terror. The cinematography is very eerie and the shots of Rome give the movie an air of authenticity not seen in some other religious-heavy horror movies.

Anthony Hopkins really carries the movie. He can't act in a McDonald's commercial and make it compelling. He essentially plays two roles in the movie, one as Father Lucas and one as a demonic possession. He does both well, but some of the lines he is given as the demon are unintentionally hilarious. I almost feel bad that Sir Anthony had to say some of these ridiculous things. It's not the content that's bad, it just sounds like a 15 year old wrote them. Colin O'Donoghue gives a tepid performance, almost unsure of what he should be doing or feeling. Rutger Hauer is only briefly in the movie, which is a shame, but he does well enough. Despite some very good acting, the movie is way too long at almost 2 hours and the pace is far too slow. There's some action, but it's not enough for such a long movie. The effects and makeup are good, but I could have used more.

Does this collar make me look fat?

Based on the story, The Rite is very similar to The Exorcist. The Rite tries to become it's own movie with a more polished Hollywoodification of the whole exorcism genre. It's stylish and looks pretty, but lacks any real action or horror. Anthony Hopkins is great, but can only carry a movie so far. It's too long and the pacing is off, muting any real sense of dread. The Rite is by no means a bad movie, it's just OK and could have been much better. If you want to see a good acting performance, The Rite worth your time. Otherwise, no need to rush out and see it.

5.5/10