Black Roses

Black Roses

Not to be confused with Guns n Roses, Black Veil Brides, or The Rosie Black Chronicles

Heavy metal is the Devil’s music, right? I mean, that’s why the world has been plunged into a thousand years of darkness ever since the release of Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid”. Oh, wait. That didn’t happen did it?

Every few years, groups of people with too much time on their hands get their dander up about the “evils of rock music”. The majority of people know this is ridiculous, but it certainly doesn’t help when a few goobers throw out a few lyrics from a metal band before committing heinous acts. No, a song isn’t going to flip a switch inside your brain commanding you to give your soul to the Dark One. But it’s not a bad idea for a movie.

Black Roses is a 1988 horror movie starring John Martin (General Hospital, One Life To Live) as high school English teacher Matthew Moorhouse. Black Roses, an up-and-coming heavy metal band, has decided to come to a small town to play 4 shows as a warm-up act before heading out on the road. Parents and school officials are both concerned with the lyrical content and the imagery put forth by the band’s music. While most of the adults want to shut down the shows, Mr. Moorhouse urges for the group to have an open mind. Students excitedly pack the auditorium to watch Black Roses and they adults sit in the back. One inoffensive power ballad later and the adults leave the show, safe in the knowledge that the band, while a bit too loud, is nothing to be afraid of. As soon as they leave, the concert kicks off in earnest with loads of sexual imagery and devilish music. The next day, Mr. Moorhouse reaches out to Black Roses lead singer Damian (Sal Vivano, The Jitters, Law & Order) who assures him that the band has no ill intentions towards the kids or the town. Even Mr. Moorhouse’s prize student Julie (Karen Planden in her only acting role of note) shows a marked change. Soon, the behavior (and clothing choices) of the high-schoolers begins to change. It is revealed that Black Roses are, in fact, demons corrupting young people with their music in an effort to turn them into fellow demons. Students start killing their parents and other adults in gruesome fashion. When Mr. Moorhouse confronts Julie about her change in behavior, she transforms into a hideous demon and tries to kill him. How will Mr. Moorhouse be able to stop Black Roses before it’s too late?

And what secrets does his mustache contain?

With an idea like this, there’s only two ways the movie could have gone: extremely serious or extremely goofy. The general concept isn’t bad and if done seriously, it at least had the potential to be a good horror movie. Of course, this was made in 1988, the same year that gave us tons of horror sequels like Friday the 13^th part VII, A Nightmare On Elm Street 4, Halloween 4, Hellraiser II, and Howling IV or lots of not-serious horror like Killer Klowns From Outer Space, Hobgoblins, Scarecrows, and Waxwork. For the most part, Black Roses is goofy. I say that because there are some scenes of violence in the movie that take an extremely dark turn compared to the tone of the rest of the film. A student shooting his father repeatedly in the head, another beating her perverted step-father to death, and Julie slitting someone’s throat are a stark departure from the lighthearted beginning of the movie. It kind of took the fun out of the movie’s initial camp. It’s hard to laugh when you’re cringing.

I said "No crusts"!

 So what makes Black Roses silly? Beyond the general tone of the movie, one has to look towards the flow and pacing of the movie as well as the continuity. The movie tends to slow down at various points just when you think it should be ramping up. Every time we get some action, the story veers off into different places, such as Mr. Moorhouse’s love life. Not enough time is really given to his personal life for us to care, so it’s just wasted minutes. I would have liked more attention spent on the band themselves. It would have been nice to have had a clearer motive for their actions or even some of a back-story. The movie just presents them as some sort of magical demons and that’s about it.

Danzig still looks pretty good for his age.

 When we are first introduced to Black Roses at the beginning of the movie, their demonic look is completely different from their look at the end of the movie. Why? I actually thought their original costumes, why obviously cheap masks, still looked good. Compare that to the embodiment of rubber bodysuit embarrassment we see at the end. That costume looks like it should be handing out overpriced rubbery pizzas at Chuck E. Cheese, not corrupting the innocent and turning them into monsters. In fact, I think he’s a little shorter than Mr. Moorhouse. Mr. Moorhouse should have just put his hand up, keeping the monster at bay while flinging it’s arms wildly.

Bring it on, short stack!

 When the movie first began, I thought the main character was a male student. About 20 minutes in, he is pretty much forgotten about as the focus shifts towards Mr. Moorhouse. I thought it was a bit odd that the hero of the movie was a teacher instead of one of the students. Wouldn’t it have been better and more cohesive to have a student save the day, resisting the pull of the evil metal music? It probably doesn’t help that some of the students are clearly in their late 20’s. But hey, we get famous metal drummer Carmine Appice (Ozzy Osbourne, Vanilla Fudge) in all his 80’s sleaziness as the band’s drummer. They get points for that at least. The acting throughout the movie is passable with no one being particularly bad or good. We do get a small scene with Vincent Pastore (Big Pussy from The Sopranos) as the father of one of the students. I’ll bet he doesn’t put Black Roses on too many resumes. In a bit of a funny coincidence, director John Fasano also directed Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare.

Whoops. Sorry, fellas. I’ll come back later.

 In a movie about heavy metal, how does the music hold up? It’s not bad actually, with real musicians such as Appice and Mark Free (King Kobra, Unruly) recording the songs. It’s your typical late 80’s mixture of rock and hair metal. Kind of catchy in that typical glittery cheesey 80’s way. The movie also features music from Lizzy Borden, Bang Tango, and Tempest. The sound track was released by Metal Blade, proud home of bands such as the Goo Goo Dolls, Viking, and Austrian Death Machine. Oh, and some other well-known metal bands too.

I’ll bet this demon was shoved into a lot of lockers as a teenager.

 Black Roses manages to have some fun moments, but doesn’t seem capable of pulling it together. The main message of the film does in fact seem to be that heavy metal is evil, though it’s not entirely clear given that the main character encourages people to have an open mind. The dark, intense nature of the movie’s violence takes away from the fun, leaving the movie in a weird sort of limbo between serious and silly. It also doesn’t help that the demons look like the leftovers from a Halloweentown store on November 1^st. The music is probably the best part thanks to the filmmakers wisely relying on established bands to provide it. While it’s not a particularly good movie, it can still be fun to laugh at with a group of friends.

4.5/10

Day 352: Jacob's Ladder

Jacob's Ladder

"Uh, Mr. Robbins. Could you not be so blurry for just a second?"

War is Hell. Everything about war is Hell. The build up, the politics, the violence, the stress, the heartbreak, and the aftermath are all terrible and scarring. I've reviewed a few war-based horror movies, but the subgenre isn't particularly popular. There are plenty of war movies, some of the best ever made. Same with horror. But for whatever reason, the two rarely meet and when they do it's rather disappointing. Maybe horror movies don't have the proper budget to make a full-blown war movie. Maybe by injecting things like supernatural elements into the story take away from the horrors of war. Either way, most war-based horror movies leave a lot to be desired. Most, but not this one.

Jacob's Ladder is a 1990 psychological horror movie starring Tim Robbins as Vietnam veteran Jacob Singer. Jacob suffers a flashback from the war after falling asleep on the subway. When he gets off at his stop, he realizes he is on the wrong side of the platform and has to cross over the tracks. He is almost hit by a subway and when he looks into the last car, a faceless monster is looking back at him. He tries to ignore the incident and go about his life as a mailman, living in a small apartment in Brooklyn with his girlfriend Jezzie (Elizabeth Pena, batteries not included, Rush Hour). Jacob's ex-wife Sarah sent over a bunch of his old pictures, including one of his son Gabe (Macaulay Culkin, Home Alone, My Girl), who died in an accident. His chiropractor Louie (Danny Aiello, Do The Right Thing, The Godfather Part II) gives him some advice about death and acceptance. He says that “if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.” As the days go by, Jacob's hallucinations begin to intensify as hideous monsters begin to appear. During a party, he sees Jezzie dancing and appears to turn into a monster herself. He contracts a fever and has hallucinations of his ex wife and kids. As the halluciations become more bizarre and terrifying, Jacob's old army buddy Paul (Pruitt Taylor Vince, Identity, Constantine) asks to meet with him. Paul has also been suffering from hallucinations and is convinced that he is being followed. When they part ways, Paul's car blows up. Jacob is saved by a man in glasses whom he has repeatedly seen in recent days. At Paul's funeral, Jacob meets with the rest of his Army friends (Ving Rhames, Eriq La Salle, Anthony Alessandro) who confirm his suspicions: they all suffer from hallucinations and the army may be the cause of them. The reach out to a lawyer named Geary (Jason Alexander, Seinfeld, Pretty Woman) to see if they have a case, but the rest of the soldiers are threatened into backing out. Jacob is grabbed by men in a car and threatened to stay quite, but he manages to escape. After more hallucinations, he meets with the man with glasses, a former army chemist named Michael Newman (Matt Craven, Crimson Tide, Disturbia). Newman tells Jacob that he developed a chemical called “The Ladder” that would increase aggression in soldiers. Jacob and his group were administered the drug, turning them into vicious killers, but also leaving them with horrible side effects. With the hallucinations becoming unbearable, will Jacob be able to find stop The Ladder from destroying his mind?

"Aw, jeez. Did I drink Peppermint Schnapps again?"

I can't remember the last time I saw a good reality-warping horror movie like Jacob's Ladder. Like most movies that blur the lines of reality, Jacob's Ladder constantly makes you question what you are seeing. Did that person not have a face? Is that a giant tail? Did what just happen really happen or is what's happening now really happening. This happens quite frequently throughout the movie and it's a lot to wrap your head around. Why there is an element of confusion and deflection, this all adds to the overall sense of horror and terror which grows as the movie progresses. The hallucinations start off relatively small and build thanks to some truly scary looking monsters. In fact, they're are so scary, they were actually the inspiration for the monsters in the Silent Hill video game series. I felt that the various featureless monsters were the scariest. There was something primal and unnatural to them that just makes the audience feel uncomfortable.

There is a strong sense of mystery and suspense in the movie, which compels the audience to push onward, much like Jacob in search of the truth. We never quite not what is real or not, and even when the answers are finally revealed, the audience still not 100% convinced. Director Adrian Layne (Fatal Attraction, Indecent Proposal) manages to impress, especially since Jacob's Ladder is so different from everything else he worked on. Tim Robbins is very good as Jacob, serving as a good avatar for the audience. We are just as lost as he is and are searching for the truth. The movie has an impressive supporting cast featuring many well known actors. The list includes Danny Aiello, Ving Rhames, Jason Alexander, Eriq La Salle, a young Macaulay Culkin, and even a young Lewis Black in a “blink and you'll miss it” moment. There is a good amount of action and violence throughout the movie, keeping people interested when the hallucinations get to be too confusing. There is a good balance between quite scenes and harsh ones. The scenes during the Vietnam War look good, almost worthy of being in a movie like Hamburger Hill or even Platoon.

Your eyes are a beautiful shade of...uh...flesh

Jacob's Ladder is an intensive thrill ride that has plenty of action and even more scares. The monsters are quite unsettling while never being too “in your face” about scaring you. We are never sure what is real and what is not, making the movie that much more suspenseful. There is a good mystery throughout which keeps the audience interested. Both Tim Robbins and Elizabeth Pena are very good and it's fun to see who pops up in the supporting cast. There is some social commentary in the movie, questioning the government and dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder, but there are no massive revelations. Jacob's Ladder is a good movie if you're in need of a strange mystery and a seriously good freakout.

8.5/10

Day 331: Wishmaster

Wishmaster

More like Pissmaster

What would you ask for if you were given three wishes? Besides infinity White Castle, I'd have to say I'm still mulling over my choices. Winning Mega Millions would be pretty nice also. But what if those wishes came with a price? The “evil genie” character appears more in literature than in the movies. Why is that? If anything, having a magical being in your movie allows for almost limitless potential. You can have all sorts of creatures and situations, giving you a freedom that many other horror movies would kill for. Of course, maybe the reason why there are more evil genie horror movies is because of Wishmaster.

Wishmaster is a 1997 supernatural horror movie from executive producer Wes Craven. The film stars Tammy Lauren (The Young And The Restless, Home Improvement) as appraiser Alexandra Amberson. In a prologue, we learn of creatures called the Djinn, creatures who lived in the void between worlds. When one wakes a djinn, they are granted three wishes. Once the third wish is granted, the djinn is freed. In 1127 AD Persia, a djinn (Andrew Divoff, Toy Soldiers, Air Force One) grants the wishes of the emperor, twisting his wishes into hideous monstrosities. The emperor's wizard traps the djinn inside a jewel which is then hidden inside a statue. In present day, collector Raymond Beaumont (Robert Englund, A Nightmare On Elm Street, Inkubus) is receiving the statue when a freak accident causes the statue to fall on his assistant (Ted Raimi, Midnight Meat Train, Spider-Man) and shatters. A worker steals the jewel containing the djinn and it ends up being appraised by Alexandra Amberson. She takes the jewel to her friend josh to analyze it and he unwittingly releases the djinn, who kills Josh by granting him a wish to “release his of his pain”. The djinn grows stronger by granting wishes and taking people's souls. Alexandra shares a connection with the djinn and is able to see his murders. He takes the form of a man, calling himself Nathaniel Demerest and continues his reign of terror until he finds Alexandra and forces her to ask for her three wishes. Will Alexandra be able to stop the all-powerful djinn and send him back to the void before he destroys the world?

"Somebody stop me!"

It's important to mention that Wishmaster is directed by Robert Krutzman, an award-winning make-up and effects artists. His work includes Cabin Fever, Vampires, Night Of The Creeps, and Army Of Darkness. That's an impressive group of movies without a doubt. The monsters and creatures in Wishmaster continue Krutzman's run of great makeup and traditional effects. There is a wide variety of creatures that keep the action interesting when the story fails to do so. One thing I found funny was that characters acted shocked when they saw the djinn's true form. Truthfully, he looked like Jim Carey from The Mask with a little more detail. Beyond the make-up, there is a myriad of special effects, some decent and some clearly steeped in mid-90's computerization.

Of course, the problem then lies with Krutzman's directing abilities and the story itself. The story is all over the place while still managing to go absolutely nowhere. The movie has a lot glaring plot holes that are hard to ignore. In the very beginning, we learn that there are more than one djinn. Shouldn't these things be popping up all over the place? And why can't they get someone to ask for three wishes? It shouldn't be that hard. Why did the djinn bother to take human form? It's not like he was having a problem getting people to wish for things before? The acting is absolutely horrendous and downright painful at times. Tammy Lauren is really miscast as she seems out of place in almost every scene. Andrew Divoff is hilariously over-the-top, practically gnawing on the scenery. It's nice to see Craven stalwarts like Robert Englund and Tony Todd in small roles, but if you're going to have them in your movie, give them more than just 2 or 3 scenes. For a horror movie, there is not a lot of atmosphere and almost no subtlety. 

"You love the 90's? No way! Me too!"

When I decided to watch Wishmaster, I was expecting something at least halfway decent. I knew there were a few sequels, so, like Hellraiser and Puppet Master, I figured the original movie would be great. How wrong I was. Other than some good make-up and a few scenes of violence, Wishmaster has very little going for it. The acting really stands out as being particularly horrendous. The story is pretty boring and the ending seems pretty obvious. I think I've decided on another wish; to erase watching Wishmaster from my memory.

2.5/10

Day 329: In the Mouth Of Madness

In The Mouth Of Madness

Give a hoot. Read a book.

What is reality? Is it what we think and feel or is it something tangible that we can touch and mold? I don't know, I'm not a psychology major. What I do know is that a lot of horror movies like to ask that question. It's mostly used as an excuse to shoot all sorts of crazy things and get away with it? Want the walls to melt? Question reality! Want your main character to rip his own face off? Question reality! Want to see another show staring the Kardashians? Punch yourself in the face AND question reality! Regardless of how you feel in regards to the esoteric questions of life and reality, you have to admit, it allows for some crazy things to happen in a movie.

In The Mouth Of Madness is a  1995 horror movie written by Michael De Luca (Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, Judge Dredd) and directed by John Carpenter (The Thing, Prince Of Darkness). The movie stars Sam Neill (Jurassic Park, Event Horizon) as private investigator John Trent. Trent is committed to an insane asylum where he is visited by Dr. Wrenn (David Warner, Titanic, Tron) to recount his story of how he ended up there. After solving a case, Trent is attacked by an ax-wielding maniac who asks him if he reads horror author Sutter Cain's (Jurgen Prochnow, Das Boot, Beverly Hills Cop II) work before being shot by police. Trent was hired by Arcane Publishing director Jackson Harglow (Charlton Heston, Planet Of The Apes, The Ten Commandments) to track down the now-missing Cane. Cane's work is immensely popular, garnering a rabid fan-base. Fights and riots have broken out by people pre-ordering his latest book, In The Mouth Of Madness. Harglow assigns Cane's editor Linda Styles (Julie Carmen, True Women, Fright Night Part 2) to join Trent in his search. After reading Cane's books, Trent begins to experience very intense and very realistic nightmares of deformed monsters coming after him. Styles explains that Cane's work is known to cause hallucinations and paranoia among his more "unstable" readers. Trent discovers that the covers to Cane's work are actually a map of New Hampshire and show the way to Hobb's End, a supposedly fictional town. Trent and Styles somehow manage to find the town which is laid out exactly how Cane wrote it, complete with a strange black church to the east which Cane described as being the source of all evil. The briefly see Cane who sicks his dogs on angry townspeople who claim that Cane turned their children evil. Trent thinks this is all a publicity stunt and refuses to believe what is happening. Soon, even stranger events occur as people, including Styles, mutate into hideous monsters. Trent tries to escape, but is caught in an endless loop, always returning to Hobb's End. Cane finishes writing his new novel and after reading it, Styles goes insane. Cane gives his novel to Trent so he can distribute his mind-altering masterpiece to the world. What is reality and what is fiction and will Trent be able to stop Sutter Cane?

Taking the Elephant Walk to strange, new places

When movies decide to mess with reality and the audience's perception, they run the risk of being utterly confusing. In The Mouth Of Madness has enough action and scary looking monsters to hide the fact that the story is all over the place. It's essentially a story within a story within a story. Just writing that makes my head hurt. To make matters worse, the story is mostly told in flashback. The story is fairly entertaining, the parts you can follow anyway. The way the story bounces around and messes with the characters can be confusing and tiresome by the end. It's funny how the movie precedes the rabid fans of Harry Potter,Twilight, and now Fifty Shades Of Gray. It can best be described as "Lovecraftian" with it's focus on hideous creatures and man's helplessness to their whims. In The Mouth Of Madness is part of Carpenter's "Apocalypse Trilogy" and fans of The Thing and Prince Of Darkness will appreciate how good the monsters in the film look. They are a heaving mass of twisted and distorted flesh with realistic features and movements. The movie does have it's physical as well as psychological scary moments. The ending is fairly depressing, though the inexplicable rock music over the credits might have you believe otherwise. Carpenter does the music for the rest of the film, giving scenes the proper atmosphere they deserve.

I don't think I've seen a movie with such a big difference in acting quality from the lead to the main support. Sam Neill is great and that's no surprise. He's entertaining in just about everything he does. He gives John Trent the cool confidence needed in the beginning as he is the audience's "eyes" so to speak. We are just as skeptical as he is when he visits Hobb's End. His terror and slow descent into madness is both believable and unsettling. Though he's not in the movie a whole lot, Jurgen Prochnow is quite entertaining as the god-like Sutter Cane. The scene where he appears next to Trent on a bus, telling him his favorite color is blue is very well executed. The problem lies with Julie Carmen. Plain and simple, she is just not good. She just played her part all wrong and really brought down the quality of the film. John Carpenter brings his usual style to the film, capturing some great monster scenes and a lot of emotion.

Gimme a "T"!

Overall, In The Mouth Of Madness is a fun horror movies with some hard-to-ignore flaws. The story is all over the place and may be hard for people to focus on. That's what happens when you have a movie all about twisting reality. The monster look great and their are some genuinely scary scenes, but it's not really enough to get past the meandering story. Sam Neill and Jurgen Prochnow are both very good in their roles, but Julie Carmen is just terrible. If you enjoy John Carpenter's previous work or H.P. Lovecraft, you should be able to enjoy In The Mouth Of Madness for what it is: a mind-bending monster movie.

7/10

Day 324: Monster Brawl

Monster Brawl

Where's The Undertaker and Kane?

I admit it. I'm a professional wrestling nerd. I am well aware that the results are predetermined (it's not fake, it's predetermined. Get it right), but I am still wildly entertained by it. I was a huge Hulkamaniac when I was younger, but became disinterested in the mid-90's. It may come as a shock to some that know me, but I pretty much missed the entire “Monday Night Wars”. While professional wrestling was at it's zenith of popularity, I wasn't watching. I felt like it was kid's stuff. I randomly became interested again while flipping through channels and saw that both Mr. Perfect and Big Boss Man, wrestlers from my childhood, were back in the WWE. An occasional watch became a weekly love affair that has extended to this day, going to live events and watching pay-per-views. I know, I'm a dork, but I'm perfectly OK with that. Being a fan things outside the mainstream tend to go together. Comic books, horror movies, heavy metal, wrestling. It was only a matter of time before there was a wrestling horror movie.

Monster Brawl is a 2011 independent horror comedy starring Dave Foley (The Kids In The Hall, Suck) as play-by-play announcer Buzz Chambers and Art Hindle (The Brood, Invasion Of The Body Snatchers) as color commentator “Sasquatch” Sid Tucker. An independent wrestling promoter and self-professed horror nerd has gathered eight monsters from across the globe and through time to compete in the ultimate monster battle. The combatants are seperated into two categories: Undead and Creatures. On the Undead side is Frankenstein, The Mummy, Zombie Man, and Lady Vampire. On the Creatures side is Cyclops, Werewolf, Witch Bitch, and Swamp Gut. The battles take place inside a wrestling ring set amidst an abandoned and cursed graveyard. Jimmy “Mouth Of The South” Hart of WWF/E and WCW fame announces the combatants as we are treated to background clips of each monster. Each clip reveals a little bit of each monster. For example, Zombie Man is the product of the army and managed by the maniacal Colonel Crookshank (Kevin Nash of WWF/E and WCW fame, Punisher). UFC referee Herb Dean referees the match to ensure the rules aren't broken, but he is killed in the first match. Which classic monster will reign supreme and prove once and for all who is the baddest monster in the world?

"Say it's fake again. I dare you."

If the above rundown of the movie felt like it was short on story, character development, and all the other hallmarks of a typical movie, you'd be right. Monster Brawl pulls no punches (sorry for the terrible pun) and makes no bones (sorry, another bad one) about what type of movie it is. Like the SpikeTV show Deadliest Warrior, Monster Brawl takes every 7 year-old's question of “Who would win in a fight?” There was really only two ways of doing this movie: lots of plot and story with a little bit of actual fighting or lots of fighting and no real story. They went with the latter and I'm OK with that decision. If you're looking for an actual movie with story, plot, emotions, and love interests, you're going to be sorely disappointed. The little background clips are fun and help break up the dark monotony of the graveyard and wrestling ring.

"We're the real monsters, baby!"

The fights play out like typical wrestling matches with clotheslines, jumps off the top turnbuckle, and occasional outside interference from managers. Each fighter has skill in the ring, some even better than those in WWE and TNA. The movie obviously had help laying out the matches from professionals which is great because they would be a mess otherwise. They have a good amount of psychology and good back and forth action. Each fighter cuts a promo before their match which are fun, but by no means hysterical. Dave Foley and Art Hindle are funny and have good chemistry. Foley channels his inner Howard Cossell while Hindle, dressed similar to Jim Ross from WWE, is more of a typical veteran color commentator. Lance Henriksen (Pumpkinhead, Millenium) lends his gravelly voice as the narrator during the background segments. Fans of the Mortal Kombat will enjoy the voice-overs during the fight shouting “Excellent!” and “Disturbing!” It's fun to see Jimmy Hart and Kevin Nash, but I would've liked to see more professional wrestlers throughout the movie. I'm sure they could have used the paycheck. Wrestling fans should not be surprised that Nash didn't “do the job” even in a movie. 

What a slobberknocker!

There's not a whole lot to Monster Brawl, but it is still immensely fun to watch. Writer/Director Jesse T. Cook knows exactly what he is going for with this movie. Rather than muddling around with a half-hearted story, he goes right for the action. The final fight is a little long and I felt the ending could have been better in my opinion. The fighting is good as the actors are all skilled and someone with wrestling knowledge clearly helped lay out all the matches. The monsters all look good and there is a nice variety to pick from. If you're not a wrestling fan, you'll still get a kick out of all of the fights, but don't expect much of an emotional connection to any character. For the wrestling dorks out there that also love horror, Monster Brawl is a must see. Regardless of the story (or lack thereof), I was still highly entertained.

8/10

Day 264: The Resurrected

The Resurrected

Is this a horror movie or an antacid advertisement?

H.P. Lovecraft is one of my favorite writers. His ability to craft creative horror and science fiction that is still scary almost 100 years later is second to none. For whatever reason, almost every adaptation of his work on the big screen is terrible. Some movies draw strongly from the source material and some use the basic premise, but the end result is usually the same: horrendous movies. It's also not uncommon for a movie to use Lovecraft's name and his titles only to trick people into watching their celluloid bowel movement. The Tomb is a perfect example of this act. I'll never understand why it's so difficult to make a good movie based on H.P. Lovecraft's work. Maybe it's because I have such high expectations and I'm setting myself up for disappointment. What better way to explore this theory than by watching a movie I didn't initially know was a Lovecraft adaptation?

The Resurrected is a 1992 direct-to-video horror movie adapted from the H.P. Lovecraft short story “The Case Of Charles Dexter Ward”. Directed by Dan O'Bannon (Alien, The Return Of The Living Dead), the movie stars John Terry (Full Metal Jacket, 24) as private investigator John Marsh. The movie is told mostly in flashback from Marsh's recollection. John is hired by Claire Ward (Jane Sibbett, Friends, The Second Arrival) to look into the increasingly strange behavior of her husband, Charles Dexter Ward (Chris Sarandon, Dog Day Afternoon, Child's Play). Charles has moved from his spacious house in Providence, Rhode Island to a small bungalow in the rural Pawtuxet Valley region. He receives deliveries of long, wooden crates at all hours of the night and is very secretive of it's contents. The deliveries are followed by the overpowering stench of rotting meat or animal carcasses. Charles also begins to surround himself with undesirables, including the mysterious Dr. Ashe. Claire tells John that Charles had recently inherited the belongings of a long-dead relative named Joseph Curwen. Curwen was a shipping magnate and alchemist in the 1700's, eventually earning the reputation as a grave robber. Through his research, Curwen was able to unlock the secrets of immortality with the usage of “essential saltes” and fresh corpses. Charles' personality has changed so much that he now speaks in an antiquated style and is eventually committed to an insane asylum. John, along with Claire and his partner Lonnie, break into the bungalow and discover and underground laboratory which is filled with the ashes of other known occultists and alchemists. It is revealed that Curwen has in fact come back to life as Dr. Ashe and intends to bring back others. Along with the lab, there are a series of tunnels and the group encounter hideous half-human monsters and abominations, including one that kills Lonnie. How will John be able to stop the resurrected Curwen and is it too late to save the true Charles Dexter Ward?

Today's weather: Partly cloudy with a chance of grease

Initially, I didn't know The Resurrected was going to be an H.P. Lovecraft story. It became pretty obvious once the story took place in Rhode Island (a Lovecraft staple) and the name “Charles Ward” was mentioned. Of course, this raises the question, “Why did they not just named the movie 'The Case of Charles Dexter Ward'?” I, along with other Lovecraft fans, would have discovered this movie much sooner if the connection was more obvious. The title “The Resurrected” is fine, but it's so generic that it could be about anything. I mean, “The Resurrected” is probably the name of a local metal band. Or hardcore band. Or punk band. See what I mean? As far as Lovecraft adaptations go, this movie actually fairs better than most other attempts. It's updated to the early 90's (which is apparent in the furniture, clothes, and greasy “professional” mullets) with some extra characters and situations added, but it's essentially the same story. Lovecraft himself didn't like the story and it was published posthumously, but I enjoy it immensely. The original story has a good mixture of mystery and suspense with a healthy dose of old-fashioned horror. The film version fairs well-enough in trying to incorporate all of these elements into a cohesive film. One funny thing I noticed in the movie is when John tells someone that he drove two hours to get from Providence to Pawtuxet Valley. In reality, it's about a 15 minute drive and the area is neither rustic nor remote. When Lovecraft wrote the story, that might have been more true, but today it's a silly mistake. It was also disappointing to see that the movie was actually filmed in British Columbia and not actually in Rhode Island.

Despite having an obviously low budget, The Resurrected manages to use some pretty good special effects and makeup. I was actually surprised at how good some of the monsters looked in the movie as the prosthetics look quite scary. There is also a good amount of blood and gore which was completely unexpected. Despite writing scary stories, Lovecraft's work was never particularly gruesome or graphic. The problem is that these scenes are too few and far between. The movie is about 20 minutes too long and tends to drag in the beginning. For this type of story, a fast, steady pace would have been better than the slow drips we got. The acting is decent, but some of the dialogue is too cheesy for me to handle. Chris Sarandon puts on the best performance in The Resurrected, but not until about halfway through when his personality changes. It's a whole lot of scenery chewing, but in a fun way, and fits in well with the new character. I do question why they set the movie in modern times when they competently show flashbacks to pre-Revolutionary times. I think the movie would have had a more authentic horror feel if it had taken place in the early 1900's instead of the 1990s.

"Does my throat look red? It feels sore."

The Resurrected is a decent adaptation from a lesser-known H.P. Lovecraft story. While it may not be the first Lovecraft movie that deserves a shot at the big screen, it is a fun and exciting story, that in the right hands, could have been great. The movie has some good moments, mostly from gory violence and good prosthetic work. The pacing is a little slow and the movie runs about 20 minutes too long. Chris Sarandon is great with the rest of the cast pulling up the rear. If you're a Lovecraft fan, you'll enjoy the references and effort, but may be disappointed in the end product. Still, The Resurrected isn't a bad watch and some may enjoy it as a starting point to get into Lovecraft's work.

6/10

Day 226: Monsters

Monsters

Looks like a fun horror movie, right? WRONG!

Political commentary is an important part of horror. Most movies have it, even the classics, though you may not notice it. This commentary can range from social issues such as women's rights and racial equality to political issues like healthcare and immigration. Most movies use this commentary as an undercurrent for the story itself, helping, but not overshadowing the horror itself. Dawn Of The Dead is a prime example of making many social points while still putting on an entertaining and fun zombie movie. Other movies, though, put the commentary front and center with less focus on horror.

Monsters is a 2010 science fiction horror movies starring Whitney Able (Remarkable Power, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane) as Samantha Wynden and Scoot McNairy (Bones, My Name Is Earl) as Andrew Kaulder. A few years ago, a NASA deep-space probe crash landed in Mexico, exposing the area to alien life forms. These life forms, which look like a giant octopus with insect legs, spread throughout the area, leading the United States to build a giant wall and quarantining the northern half of Mexico. Andrew is a photographer taking pictures in Mexico of the monster's devastation when he is hired by his wealthy employer to help his daughter Samantha escape Mexico. At first Andrew resists, but is pressured into taking the journey by Samantha's father. Samantha is engaged to be married, but has serious reservations about the man who is to be her husband. Andrew has a young son whom he loves, but rarely gets to see. Samantha plans to take a ferry back to the United States, but after forking over $5,000, they realize that their passports have been stolen. She gives her engagement ring in exchange for help crossing the border. Samantha and Andrew have to take various illegal means to get close to the border while dodging dangerous terrain and the monsters. As their journey continues, they grow close together, confiding in each other. When they reach the border, they find it deserted. As the cross into the States, they find an empty town that appears to have been hit by an air raid. Have the monsters made it across the wall and what will happen to Andrew and Samantha.

Smile! Your life has been ruined!

Monsters is probably more closely associated with science-fiction than horror, but there are just enough horror themes and tropes for it to make the cut. As I said before, it's important for a horror movie to have social commentary. Monsters decides to take that social commentary, shove entertainment out of the way, and bash the audience over the head with it. Believe me, I like social commentary. I studied political science and have worked in politics. I get it and appreciate it when it is done properly. The commentary in the movie is smart and well-thought out, but presented in such a way that made it difficult to sit through. I know what Writer/Director Gareth Edwards was going for, remarking on such things as immigration, the Drug War, Homeland Security, and the U.S. Government, but it's in such a heavy-handed way that professional wrestler Ronnie “Hands of Stone” Garvin should have gotten a production credit.

All of this commentary takes away from most of the scares in the film. The movie was made incredibly cheap which may explain why we rarely see the monsters. They look good, but we really should have seen them a lot more. I mean, the movie is called “Monsters”. Beyond the clever little commentary via the title, I want to see some fucking monsters, not skinny white people talking about their feelings. Most of the movie is just Samantha and Andrew wandering around, almost like a road/buddy movie without the humor. The scenery is pretty fantastic allowing the audience to at least look at something pretty while they're waiting for something to happen. It doesn't really occur as there is very little in the way of action. I found the characters of Samantha and Andrew fairly unpleasant, but not too annoying. Their blossoming love was far too convenient and not particularly believably. On the acting side, both Whitney Able and Scoot McNairy were fine. Not great, but fine.

Hey, put 'Jersey Shore' on!

Monsters is the type of movie other filmmakers love; All talk and very little action. I wish the budget had been bigger for this movie with more scenes of the monsters. It lacked the proper amount of action necessary for it to be entertaining. There are a few scary scenes and some suspense, but not nearly enough. The social commentary is smart, but there is just way too much of it. You are constantly slammed on all sides at all times by the messages. If you're not politically active, you may miss some of the references and ideas, but I don't have that luxury. As far as the story itself goes, it's nothing special and should have had more action. If you're a film school student, you'll probably appreciate it, but if you're looking for good horror and science fiction, look elsewhere.

4.5/10

Day 218: The Deaths Of Ian Stone

The Deaths Of Ian Stone

Get this guy some moisturizer

We live in a world of regret. Each one of us has a moment in their life they'd like to do over. Maybe say something different or act a different way in the hopes that the outcome would be different. These range from life decisions such as going to a different college or taking a different job. There is always the “what if” in life that invades our minds in those brief moments before falling asleep. These fantasies we have are created from our own minds and turn out the way we want. But what happens when these different lives are not your decision and there is nothing you can do to stop them from happening?

The Deaths of Ian Stone is a 2007 horror movie starring starring Mike Vogel (Cloverfield, The Help) as Ian Stone. Ian is an American living in England. He plays hockey and is very much in love with his British girlfriend, Jenny (Christina Cole, Casino Royale, Hex). One night after losing a hockey game, Ian comes across a man lying in the road. He gets out to check on him, but is attacked by the “corpse.” He is pushed onto nearby train tracks and is hit by an oncoming train. At the point of impact, Ian wakes up at his desk in an office. He is confused and remembers nothing, but tries to go about his day. Outside his office, he sees a man having a heart attack. One of the people attending to the man holds his hand and appears to be pulling the life force out of him. Ian is no longer dating Jenny, but lives with a mysterious woman named Medea (Jaime Murray, Devil's Playground, Botched). The next day, Ian meets an old man who frantically warms Ian that he is in danger and that “they” are coming. The old man is grabbed by something and pulled away. Eventually, Ian is killed by Medea, who is one of these monsters, and instantly starts a new life. The cycle continues with Ian waking up in a new life, but the one constant is that Jenny is in each of these lives. He begins to remember pieces of his previous lives when he runs into the old man from before. He learns that these monsters are called Harvesters who feed on fear and pain. Ian also discovers that he is one of them and rebelled against the colony when he fell in love with Jenny. Will Ian be able to remember his true past and free Jenny and himself from this endless cycle?

Hugs!

The concept of repeating lives in horror and science fiction is nothing new. The Deaths of Ian Stone instantly brings to mind The Time Machine and The Butterfly Effect. It's always fun to see where these movies go when they explore different lives of the main character. This movie does give us a few different lives, such as Ian being a heroin addict, but I feel like they should have really switched things up. Most of the time, he and Jenny were just working a different profession. The story itself is pretty mediocre, giving off the sense that I've already seen this movie before. Where this movie differs is the inclusion of the Harvester monsters who look like a cross between the smoke monster from Lost and Blackheart from the Marvel Super Heroes arcade game. The special effects used to create the monsters are decent and I never felt like the movie was overdoing it. The movie avoids most of the science fiction in favor of monsters and action. There is some blood and gore, but for a horror movie, this wasn't particularly scary or thrilling. The action is pretty much paint-by-numbers, with the last 20 or so minutes focusing solely on Ian fighting the Harvesters. The try to make the movie a love story, but it isn't able to really pull it off.

The character of Ian Stone is supposed to be your typical All-American boy, but Mike Vogel looks so much like Michael DeLuise who played the bully Matt Wilson from Encino Man that I couldn't take him seriously. I also find it strange that they decided to set the movie in the UK and have every other character in the movie be British. Is this supposed to be some fish-out-of-water experience? It just seems random and unnecessary to make the main character American. I also find it weird that they have him play hockey. I love hockey and I'm always happy to see it in movies, it's just not the biggest sport in either the United States or England. The acting and direction in the movie is fine, but nothing spectacular. That pretty much sums up the entire movie. Nothing is offensive or bad. Everything is just “OK”.

Aw, snap

The Deaths of Ian Stone tries to add a horror twist to the life-altering science-fiction genre. The inclusion of the Harvesters makes for an interesting idea and lets the movie have more action and violence. The monsters look good and the special effects are not overdone. I'm glad the movie explained who they are and what they're doing. Plenty of movies get lazy and only give a half-assed explanation. The action is decent with some good blood and violence. As a whole, the movie is pretty mediocre. No new ground is broken which is a shame because they could have made the cycle of lives far more interesting than what they came up with. The Deaths of Ian Stone is a watchable movie and even has a few good moments, but it isn't particularly special.

5.5/10

Day 196: The Descent

The Descent

Brought to you by Sepia Tone

I'll never understand thrill seekers that go jumping off mountains or diving out of planes chasing after their parachute. The real world is scary enough. If you don't believe me, just read the ingredients used in a Boston Cream donut. You'll never look at a Dunkin Donuts the same way again. I don't need to go spelunking to have a good time. I understand enjoying the great outdoors, but you won't crash into the ground at 300 miles per hour watching a movie on your couch. Of course, that doesn't make for an entertaining horror movie.

The Descent is a 2005 horror movie starring Shauna Macdonald (The Mutant Chronicles, Silent Night, Deadly Night) as Sarah. After a trip whitewater rafting with her friends in Scotland, Sarah's family gets in to a car accident, killing her husband and daughter. One year later, Sarah is reunited with her friends Juno (Natalie Mendoza, Moulin Rouge, Surviving Evil), Beth, Sam, and Rebecca at a cabin in the Appalachian Mountains. They are joined by Juno's new friend and “protege” Holly. The next morning, the group goes caving and Juno apologizes to Sarah for not being there for her after the accident. Sarah is distant and aloof, often thinking about her daughter celebrating her birthday. The group descends down into the cave and through a tight passageway. It collapses, trapping the group. They try to get their bearings when Juno reveals that they are in a different, unchartered cave than the one they expected to explore. She believed it would be a bonding experience for the group to discover a new cave and even suggested naming it after Sarah. The group discovers cave paintings suggesting there is a way out and descend deeper into the darkness. Holly believes she sees daylight and falls down a hole, fracturing her leg. As they help her, Sarah spots a humanoid creature in the darkness. The group is attacked by these creatures and Holly is killed. Juno fights them off and accidentally stabs Beth. Sarah is separated from the group and watches the creatures feed on Holly. She escapes the feeding pit with a pickaxe and comes across a mortally wounded Beth who asks Sarah to kill her. The group is slowly picked off by the monsters, leaving only Sarah and Juno. Will they be able to survive and what else has Juno been keeping from Sarah?

Red is totally your color

The first half of the movie focuses mostly on the group's relationship as the deal with being stuck in the cave. While it is slow at times, the first half does have some thrills and a good amount of tension. In all honesty, the movie could have just been about being stuck in a cave. It wouldn't have been a horror movie in the traditional sense, but I think it still would have been scary. If James Franco can make a movie about having his arm pinned against a rock, they could have done it first. It's the second half where the action picks up and becomes a more traditional monster movie. The creatures look good as they still look vaguely human, but monstrous enough to be unsettling. The movie has a good amount of blood and gore, but doesn't rely on it to tell the story.

I am not afraid of small spaces, but The Descent made me feel completely claustrophobic. The movie is very dark, which serves to create a greater sense of fear and atmosphere, but also made it difficult to tell just who was who in the group. I couldn't really keep track of which character was being killed and it led to some confusion. The movie has many great clean shots, like Sarah running up a hill of bones or ascending from a pool of blood. I particularly liked that scene as it is a metaphor for her spiritual rebirth. When she rises from the pool of blood, she is no longer the shell of a person she had been after her daughter's death and goes on a monster killing spree. Shauna Macdonald is very good in both her roles and is a very convincing action hero. Natalie Mendoza also does well in her action sequences.

For the last time, I wasn't The Master from Buffy!

There were two things in the movie that really bothered me. First, I was disappointed that a movie with an all-female cast came down to a fight over a man. There was no need for it and it cheapened the entire experience. Why thrown in a story of adultery when it really adds nothing to the movie? It also forces the hero of the movie to do something very unheroic, which didn't sit well with me. The second was the ending. Apparently, I watched the U.S. version of The Descent which had a different ending from the UK version. The U.S. Version ended so abruptly that I legitimately thought there was something wrong with my version. This version also makes all the scenes involving Sarah's daughter completely moot. You can actually view the UK ending on Youtube which is far better and makes much more sense. There is supposed to be a sequel to The Descent and that is my only guess as to why the altered the ending.

The Descent is a good monster movie with a few fatal flaws. The monsters look good and the action is fast-paced and really entertaining. It takes some patience to get there, but it's worth the wait. There is a good amount of blood and gore, but nothing too over-the-top. The acting is good and the direction is particularly great with some really cool shots and scenes. It was really good to see an all-female cast involved in a horror movie, but disappointing that they had to reduce the story to a fight over a man. The altered ending is abrupt and confusing made all the worse because it makes previous scenes in the movie pointless. If you want to see The Descent, do yourself a favor and find the UK version. It really makes a big difference because the ending in the US version brings down the entire movie.

7/10

Special thanks to reader Camie (@silvershamrockd) for helping me figure out the differences in the UK and U.S. Version.

Day 177: Cabin In The Woods

Cabin In The Woods

Cabin designed by H.R. Giger

People love Joss Whedon. They love him more than their own blood relatives. They think he's greater than sliced bread. If they could, they would make a sandwich out of him. While that might be much, he's written a lot of great television and movies. I really enjoyed the Buffy The Vampire Slayer television show. I don't know much about Firefly, but search “Firefly petition” on any search engine and you'll see people love that show second only to breathing. Of course, people overlook his involvement in Waterworld and Alien: Resurrection, but you can keep those in your back pocket if you ever want to make a nerd's head explode. His writing credits for movies also include Toy Story, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and Titan AE. How would he stack up writing a full-length horror movie?

Cabin In The Woods is a 2012 horror film, written by Joss Whedon and directed/co-written by Drew Goddard (Cloverfield, Lost), starring Kristen Connolly (The Happening, Guiding Light) as Dana Polk. Dana goes on a trip to a cabin in the woods with her friends Jules (Anna Hutchison, Power Rangers, Wild Boys), Curt (Chris Hemsworth, Thor, The Avengers), stoner Marty (Fran Kranz, The Village, Dollhouse) and newcomer Holden (Jesse Williams, Brooklyn's Finest, Grey's Anatomy), whom Jules is trying to set Dana up with. They stop to get gas at a run down station, where a creepy man warns them not to go ahead. They ignore his warnings and make it to the cabin. Holden discovers a two-way mirror between rooms and Dana covers it with a blanket. Unbeknownst to them, their trip is being closely monitored by a sophisticated group, led by Richard Sitterson (Richard Jenkins, Me, Myself, And Irene, The Visitor) and Steve Hadley (Bradley Whitford, Billy Madison, The West Wing). The group has cameras setup inside and outside the house and are pumping different chemicals into the house, affecting the group's personalities and actions. The group soon falls into horror movie cliches, with Dana acting the virgin role, Jules becoming the whore, Curt becoming the jock, Holden as the brain, and Marty as the fool. They are manipulated into going into the cellar, which is filled with strange artifacts. Dana reads from an old diary belonging to a young girl describing horrible violence and destruction. She reads a Latin incantation, unwittingly raising a family of redneck torture zombies. Soon the group is picked off one by one. Marty discovers a camera in his room and survives the attack along with Dana. They discover an elevator that leads down to the facility that has set up their night of terror. Why were they brought to the cabin and how will they survive?

The prettiest group of victims since Mean Girls

I wasn't sure what to expect when I first started watching Cabin In The Woods. I knew there was some horror genre-bending, but was expecting something like Hack or Hatchet, where there would just be an onslaught of stupid horror references and no story. Thankfully I was wrong, as the story is both creative and entertaining. The movie breaks down into two stories; the cabin portion and the facility portion. It doesn't waste time letting you know that some sort of conspiracy is afoot, which helps increase interest and excitement. The cabin portion is a fun nod to plenty of horror movies such as Evil Dead and Pumpkinhead. The characters slipping into the typical horror cliches is fun to watch as the acting is very good and believable. Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford and both quite enjoyable and funny, despite technically being villains. I was a bit indifferent towards the zombie rednecks. They look good, though, some scenes were a bit too dark for me. Maybe I'm just tired of zombies being in everything. The movie made up for the lack of diversity when the second portion of the movie commences. Horror fans will have a blast catching all the references when we see the other creatures being held in the facility. Both are very good and acknowledge other horror movies without smashing you over the head with references.

The movie balances legitimately funny humor with good action and violence. Fans of Buffy will definitely appreciate how Cabin In The Woods is written and set up. It brought to mind certain episodes of Buffy, such as “Band Candy” “Homecoming” and the whole Riley/Initiative storyline. Whedon and Goddard create clever dialogue that is well executed by the actors. The movie is cast well and even includes a small role by Sigourney Weaver (Alien, Ghostbusters). The movie ends on a fairly big down-note, especially for an American movie, and I think they actually missed out on possible sequels. Also, I'm upset they passed up the ultimate opportunity to have Cthulhu in a movie. I guess it's a compliment to want to see sequels, but maybe it's for the best.

Enjoy the references

Cabin In The Woods is a fun horror movie for both horror buffs and non horror fans alike. The writing is quick and clever with good humor. The love for Joss Whedon is understandable after seeing the movie. There is a good amount of action, blood, and gore with nice touches of mystery and thrills. The special effects look very good and the acting is spot-on, helping to elevate the movie to another level. While there were a few things I would have changed, Cabin In The Woods is a very enjoyable movie and I definitely recommend it.

8.5/10

Day 166: Silent Hill

Silent Hill

At least she doesn't have to go to the dentist

As I've said in my Resident Evil reviews, I'm not much of a gamer. It's not that I don't like video games. I actually like them a lot. I have fond memories of playing Nintendo and Super Nintendo as a kid. It's just one of those things where new systems are always coming out and they're all expensive and blah blah blah. Some people take their gaming very seriously, with their special gaming chairs, headsets, and all sorts of accessories. Many of those same people take their horror movies very seriously. When a famous video game is made into a movie, heads explode in anticipation and usually disappointment. Just ask the Super Mario Brothers movie or the Double Dragon movie. The Resident Evil franchise has done well on the big screen, so why not try a video game that is truly scary.

Silent Hill is a 2006 adaptation of a video game by the same name starring Radha Mitchell (Pitch Black, Man on Fire) as Rose Da Silva. Rose's adopted daughter Sharon suffers from sleepwalking and speaks of a place called “Silent Hill”. Silent Hill is a ghost town, vacated after a coal fire that continues to burn after 30 years. Against her husband Christopher's (Sean Bean, The Lord Of The Rings, Black Death) wishes, Rose drives with Sharon to West Virginia in hopes that visiting the town will bring her some sort of clarity. As they approach Silent Hill, police officer Cybil Bennet (Laurie Holden (The Mist, The Walking Dead) pursues them. Rose speeds towards the town when a little girl appears in the road. She swears to avoid the girl, who disappears, and crashes her car. When she wakes, Sharon is gone and Rose realizes she has made it to Silent Hill. It looks like it is snowing, but it is in fact ashes falling from the sky. Rose meets a woman named Dahlia Gillespie who talks about her own daughter Alessa being abused by the town and alludes that both of their daughters are the same person. Rose tries to get back to her car, but Cybil handcuffs her and they search for the road out of town. They are attacked by an armless, faceless creature that spits black acid out of it's chest. They explore the town in search of Sharon and fight off various deformed monsters while Christopher scours the town with officer Thomas Gucci. Rose and Cybil seek refuge in the town church while the monster Pyramid Head tears a woman apart. The church is home to a religious cult led by Christabella (Alice Krige, Deadwood, Stay Alive). Rose escapes, but Cybil and Sharon are captured It is revealed that Christabella and her followers believed Alessa to be a witch and burned her, which accidentally set the town aflame. Alessa survived, but her pain and rage led the the creation of her dark side while Sharon is the manifestation of the last of her light. Alessa must gain her revenge and enters Rose's body. Will Rose be able to save Sharon and help Alessa gain some measure of peace?

I never miss the Hot Ladies With Short Blonde Hair convention

Video games are becoming more and more like movies, so you might think that a video game actually becoming a movie would be easy. Horror is a good genre for the transition to occur, but it's still hard to pull off. I've never played Silent Hill before, so I'm not going to compare and contrast the differences. While Resident Evil was a zombie movie, it focused more on action scenes and guns. Silent Hill is a crazy monster video game and it's a crazy monster movie. The monsters are very scary looking and unlike typical horror movie creatures. They are the stuff out of nightmares and the entire makeup and effects team deserve a lot of praise. The look completely inhuman and make the film far scarrier. If you're like me and unfamiliar with the video game, you won't know who these monsters are. I don;t think they ever referred to the monster Pyramid Head by name and if they did, I missed it. I only know his name because I've seen clips of the game. I don't need the names and origin stories of every monster, but a little hint now and then would have gone a long way.

Speaking of long, this movie is far too long, clocking in at about 2 hours. There was no need for the movie to be this long. There are a number of scenes that could have been shortened or cut out completely. I like Sean Bean and he acts well, but his character could have been completely eliminated. I read a while ago that the movie was supposed to only have women leads in it, but the studio insisted on adding a husband character. I understand why, but it unnecessarily extended the movie far beyond the point of toleration. There are some good scares and plenty of scenes that will make you feel uncomfortable. There is a good amount of action and the acting is good throughout. The score, taken almost entirely from the video games, sounds great and really stands out. The story itself it just alright, starting out with a good, thrilling mysterious, but crashes and burns when all is revealed. On top of the weak reveal, the ending left me feeling empty and a bit confused. I think I understand it, but I'm not entirely sure.

At least he's not named "Pyramid Balls"

Making a movie based on a video game is never easy. The fans have very specific expectations, but the film must be made in such a way that non gamers can enjoy them. I have no idea if Silent Hill fit gamers' expectations, but as a horror fan I was unsettled by some scenes and bored with others. The movie is far too long and goes off into unnecessary scenes that kill the flow of the movie. Certain scenes definitely feel like a video game, running from building to building and coming up against different “bosses”. The acting is good and the makeup/special effects are great. The story starts out well, but loses steam towards the end. It has it's scary moments and a decent amount of action, but the ending is disappointing and vague. Ultimately, it's a decent horror movie with a few serious flaws that keep is from being great. Expect a sequel some time in 2013 or 2014.

6.5/10