Day 338: Dog Soldiers

Dog Soldiers

Sup, dog?

Today's movie is a special request from Julian of the super catchy band Glory Days. You should go listen to them now and follow them on Twitter. I'll wait. If you're on Twitter follow Julian at @juliandimagiba and Glory days at @weareglorydays. Now that we're all done swooning, back to the horror. I have had a few requests spread out over the course of this past year. Most people pick a movie that they think I'll like or may have missed. Not so much with this request. I was given this movie to watch with the knowledge that the movie was not good. A quick search on Rotten Tomatoes shows that it actually had a pretty high rating. Who would be right?

Dog Soldiers is a 2002 British werewolf movie starring Kevin McKidd (Grey's Anatomy, Trainspotting) as Private Cooper and Sean Pertwee (Soldier, Event Horizon) as Sergeant Harry Wells. An unnamed young couple are camping in the woods when they are viciously attacked by an unknown beast. Private Cooper has a tryout to join an elite military unit. In order to pass, Captain Richard Ryan (Liam Cunningham, Safe House, Game Of Thrones) commands Cooper to shoot a dog. Cooper refuses and Ryan shoots the dog himself, failing Cooper in the process. A month later, a group of British soldiers, including Cooper, drop into the Scotish highlands for a training mission with the elite unit. The find the unit savagely murdered with Captain Ryan wounded, but alive. He mentions being attacked by someone or something, but doesn't make much sense. The group is attacked by a pack of large werewolves and they try to fight back. Sgt. Wells is badly injured Their guns prove relatively useless and they make a run for it. The find a road and are picked up by a woman named Megan (Emma Cleasby, Doomsday, F). She takes them to an empty house where they tend to Wells' wounds and fortify their positions. They fight off the werewolves, but ammunition begins to run low. Surrounded, the group decides to plan for an escape. Will they be able to survive and are both Megan and Captain Ryan hiding something?

Awoooo werewolves of Scotland

This may be one of the few times where I've watched a movie in English and desperately needed subtitles. It's even worse than in Dead Cert. The combination of thick accents, foreign slang, fast talking, and a sprinkling of military terms left me utterly lost and confused in certain scenes. It didn't make much of a difference in terms of the story, but it would have been nice to know just what people are saying. Speaking of the story, it's a fairly predictable werewolf movie with more gun play than some war movies. There are plenty of guns and explosions which is all well and good except they don't really stop the werewolves. What's the point of wasting the ammo when it's not really doing anything? The movie tries to go with a few surprises, but they were pretty obvious. The movie also makes it a point to inject humor into many scenes. Some are funny, but others are eye roll worthy.

Dog Soldiers knows it's a low budget B-movie and revels in it. Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing. The camera work was a little shaky and erratic during the action scenes making it hard to focus on what's happening. About 80% of the movie is action scenes so you can see how that would get old fast. The werewolves actually look good, but a little stiff. It's a shame the camera never really focuses on them as we get quick shots and individual body parts instead. What the movie lacks in story and logic it makes up for in loads of blood and gore. Sgt. If you like the color red, you're really like this movie. Wells actually has his guts spilling out yet manages to push them back in and get patched up for a majority of the movie. Come one, really? Injuring him makes sense, but don't eviscerate the guy and play it off like he's fine. Some may think this is nitpicking for a cheap horror movie, but it's just too hard to ignore. The direction is fine and the acting is good. 

Plunker! Tallywhacker! Wanker! Uh...Loo!

Between Julian requesting Dog Soldiers because it was terrible and online reviews saying it was great, I have to side with Julian and not just because we're both wrestling nerds. While the violence is good and there's plenty of blood and gore, it wasn't enough to keep me from slipping into bored annoyance. The accents were so thick that I was reminded of the scene in Austin Powers: Goldmember where he and his father speak “English” English. I know it's supposed to be a B-movie, but I found it too hard to ignore plot holes and predictable twists. The werewolves look good, but the film doesn't really focus on them. If you look at a movie like The Wolfman or An American Werewolf InLondon, we see plenty of werewolf. Why hide them? There are better werewolf movies out there and I suggest you find them before settling for Dog Soldiers.

4.5/10

Day 302: The Wicker Tree

The Wicker Tree

Make like a Wicker Tree and leaf

I've reviewed a lot of movies over the past year. I've watched originals, sequels, prequels, remakes, sequels to remakes, re-imaginings, and all other sorts of movies. I didn't think there was anything else left and then I saw today's movie, The Wicker Tree. Now, you may see the title and think, “Hey, that must be a sequel to The Wicker Man.” Nope. “Oh, OK. It must be a prequel.” Nu-uh. “Hmm. Remake? Re-imagining? Sequel to the prequel to the remake?” No, no, and no. The Wicker Tree is classified as “companion piece” to The Wicker Man. A companion piece, in regards to film, is a movie that is similar in nature and themes to that of a previous movie. Or if you want to put it another way, a movie that is pretty much the same as another one, just not as good.

The Wicker Tree is a 2011 horror film written and directed by Robin Hardy (The Wicker Man, The Wrath Of The Gods). The film is adapted from the Robin Hardy novel, Cowboys For Christ. The movie stars Brittania Nichol as pop country singer Beth Boothby and Henry Garret (Red Tails, Re-Kill) as her cowboy fiance, Steve Thompson. Both are evangelical Christians from Texas, wearing purity rings and belong to a group called “Cowboys For Christ”. They travel to Scotland to do missionary work, bringing Jesus to a group of people who have abandoned Christianity. They are welcomed by Sir Lachlan Morrison (Graham McTavish, Colombiana, Rambo), the leader of the town, who has arranged their trip. Beth performs a concert at the local church and we later learn that at one point in her career, her songs were all about promiscuity. The people of the town are not interested with Beth and Steve's teachings, rejecting Christ in favor of the Celt goddess Sulis. We learn that a terrible ecological accident occurred in the town, seeping into the water and forcing the community to not have children. The May Day celebration is approaching and Lachlan insists on having both Beth and Steve partaking in their events. Unbeknownst to them, the town plans to sacrifice both to Sulis in order to help increase fertility and restore their population. Will Beth and Steve realize what is happening before it is too late?

Close your eyes and think of the Queen

Despite being written and directed by Robin Hardy, who directed the original The Wicker Man, The Wicker Tree lacks what made The Wicker Man so great. In The Wicker Man, a strong sense of urgency and suspense rings throughout the entire movie. There, we want Sgt. Howie to find the missing girl as all the events lead up to his fateful meeting with the wicker man. In The Wicker Tree, we already know what is going to happen since the movies are so similar in nature. This kills any possible suspense, even though there isn't much to begin with. We know that everything is leading up to the May Day event, but nothing of real consequence happens to get us excited or interested. When you don't have suspense, all you're left with is a middling and boring story. I found myself constantly checking how much time was left just so I could be finished. There's a small side story with a police officer and a local woman, but I failed to see the point. There is a little bit of action towards the end, but it doesn't have the great shock and horror as The Wicker Man's final scene.

The movie also lacks the same strong characters and performances as The Wicker Man. Both Beth and Steve are far too naive and goofy to be considered likable and therefore, the audience has no real interest in what happens to them. Apparently, this is Brittania Nicol's first full-length film and it shows. She's not horrendous and delivers her lines well enough, she just lacks the appropriate emoting needed for such a role. That's partly due to the poor dialogue and lack of character progression. There is a very, very brief scene with Christopher Lee, which caused many to believe that The Wicker Tree was in fact a sequel. In it's original form, The Wicker Tree was going to be titled Cowboys For Christ and had Sean Astin, Christopher Lee, Vanessa Redgrave, and LeAnn Rhimes in major roles. Unfortunately, the project lacked funding and was never picked up. It's a shame, because having a stronger cast would have helped the movie greatly. Also, being under a different name would have reduced expectations. When you hear the word “wicker” in a horror movie title, you have a certain frame of mind when watching and you're bound to be disappointed.

Kids, say no to drugs and companion pieces

 

Though not a true sequel, The Wicker Tree does have the same elements and ideas as The Wicker Man. The stories are very similar and the brief inclusion of Christopher Lee connects the movies even further. Sadly, The Wicker Tree is nowhere near the quality of The Wicker Man in almost every way. The characters are not as good and the acting is nowhere near the quality of The Wicker Man. There is some action, but nothing great. The movie actually has a lot of humor in it, though I didn't really find myself laughing. If the movie was under a different night, I might have been more forgiving, but that is not the case, and I found myself very disappointed with The Wicker Tree.

3/10