Day 345: 28 Days Later

28 Days Later

Cheerio!

For years (and I'm talking about decades), zombies were slow flesh-eaters that rise from the grave and whoever they bite, dies and turns into a zombie. For arguments sake, we'll call them “Romero Zombies”. Yes their were zombie movies before Romero, but Night Of The Living Dead popularized them more than any previous movie. There were slight variations in zombies over the years, such as the unkillable brain-eating zombies from Return Of The Living Dead, but by and large, they always retained the same attributes. That all changed with one movie. One single, solitary movie allowed zombies to be super fast infected human beings. Now, most zombie movies are about plagues rather than the dead coming back to life and have sprinting zombies. All because of one movie and I'm not even mad about it.

28 Days Later is a 2002 British zombie movie staring Cillian Murphy (Red Eye, The Dark Knight) as Jim. At an animal testing lab in Britain, animal liberation activists release chimps that are being experimented on. The chimps are infected with a highly contagious virus called “Rage” and as soon as they are released, they attack people, causing the virus to spread among humans. 28 days later (get it?) Jim, a bicycle courier, awakens inside an empty hospital. He was hit by a car and has been in a coma for almost a full month. He manages to stumble through the hospital out into the equally empty streets of London. He wanders into a church which alerts a small group of zombies. They are extremely fast and chase a confused and terrified Jim through the streets. He is saved by two survivors, Selena (Naomie Harris, Skyfall, Pirates Of The Carribean) and Mark (Noah Huntley, Holby City, Snow White & The Huntsman) who hurl Molotov cocktails at the zombies. They retreat to a Metro station where they tell Jim about the virus and how it quickly spread throughout the country. The virus, they say, has even reached Paris and New York City. Wanting to be with his family, Jim and the group travel to his home where they find his parents have committed suicide. That night, two zombies attack the house and Mark is cut badly in the melee. Selena swiftly and brutally kills him, explaining that the virus spreads too quickly to say any goodbyes. As they enter a city, they meet two more survivors, Frank (Brendan Gleeson, Braveheart, In Bruges) and his daughter Hannah (Megan Burns) who have been living in a flat for some time. With supplies running low, the group decide to head to Manchester where a pre-recorded message from a military blockade promising safety and a cure for the infection .has been playing. Along the way, Frank is accidentally infected, but before he attacks, he is killed by a group of soldiers. Jim, Selena, and Hannah join the soldiers at their headquarters. Not is all that is appears though. Is the group safer with the soldiers or with the zombies?

"Crud! Crud! Crud!"

As I've said in other zombie movies review, I much prefer slow zombies. While in the present, a slow zombie is relatively easy to beat. It's when things progress and there are hordes of zombies do things get more difficult. I find those movies to be far more scary because it's a slow, crushing loss of hope from beginning to end. You will eventually run out of weapons and food and no one coming to help you. 28 Days Later forgoes the slow hopelessness for a fast, vicious terror uncommon in horror movies. Director Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, Slumdog Million are) employed ex-athletes as his zombies, using their nature athletic abilities to make the zombies more believable. I don't usually like shaky, erratic camerawork, but during the initial chase scenes through London, they actually work perfectly with the overall fear and tension. The zombies themselves look good though the movie never really focuses on one for too long. They reflect the infected portion of the story rather than rotting corpses. I'm glad the movie took a few minutes to explain why people were zombies as many modern zombie movies just say “Eh, fuck it. There's zombies around just because”. I will say that one disappointment was the lack of destroying the brain. It seems you can kill these zombies like you would a person. I suppose the fact that they are infected with a various rather than undead, a rule change is acceptable, but I still like a good head shot.

Like all good zombie movies, 28 Days Later has solid and clear political commentary throughout. We have man vs. nature, a classic horror and science fiction theme. We have man vs. man, another classic. We also have citizen vs. government, which has become more common in horror over the last few decades. The movie even includes the Romero staple of having one white lead and one black lead. Both Cillian Murphy and Naomie Harris play their parts very well and Brendan Gleeson is enjoyable in just about everything he does. Danny Boyle manages to capture the action perfectly while also giving time for emotion and feeling. All too often, horror movies focus on the guts and gore and forget to make the audience care about the characters. Each character is different and has their flaws, but above all else, they are believable and likable. The music is also good, including an edited version of Godspeed You! Black Emperor's song “East Hastings” which is quite effective.

"Who's ready for a zom-beatdown?!"

28 Days Later is a highly enjoyable zombie movie that managed to completely change how zombie movies are done. One could make the argument that this movie sparked the current zombie craze that we are going through. We're at the point where zombies are on TV and in romantic comedies. That never would have happened without 28 Days Later. The action is fast-paced and harrowing with plenty of blood and gore. The acting is very good and the directing is solid. The movie touches on plenty of social commentary without ever feeling preachy. While I still prefer my zombies undead and slow, I've come to accept them as super-fast plague carriers. That says a lot for a movie to be able to change the way you perceive something your enjoy.

9.5/10

Day 338: Dog Soldiers

Dog Soldiers

Sup, dog?

Today's movie is a special request from Julian of the super catchy band Glory Days. You should go listen to them now and follow them on Twitter. I'll wait. If you're on Twitter follow Julian at @juliandimagiba and Glory days at @weareglorydays. Now that we're all done swooning, back to the horror. I have had a few requests spread out over the course of this past year. Most people pick a movie that they think I'll like or may have missed. Not so much with this request. I was given this movie to watch with the knowledge that the movie was not good. A quick search on Rotten Tomatoes shows that it actually had a pretty high rating. Who would be right?

Dog Soldiers is a 2002 British werewolf movie starring Kevin McKidd (Grey's Anatomy, Trainspotting) as Private Cooper and Sean Pertwee (Soldier, Event Horizon) as Sergeant Harry Wells. An unnamed young couple are camping in the woods when they are viciously attacked by an unknown beast. Private Cooper has a tryout to join an elite military unit. In order to pass, Captain Richard Ryan (Liam Cunningham, Safe House, Game Of Thrones) commands Cooper to shoot a dog. Cooper refuses and Ryan shoots the dog himself, failing Cooper in the process. A month later, a group of British soldiers, including Cooper, drop into the Scotish highlands for a training mission with the elite unit. The find the unit savagely murdered with Captain Ryan wounded, but alive. He mentions being attacked by someone or something, but doesn't make much sense. The group is attacked by a pack of large werewolves and they try to fight back. Sgt. Wells is badly injured Their guns prove relatively useless and they make a run for it. The find a road and are picked up by a woman named Megan (Emma Cleasby, Doomsday, F). She takes them to an empty house where they tend to Wells' wounds and fortify their positions. They fight off the werewolves, but ammunition begins to run low. Surrounded, the group decides to plan for an escape. Will they be able to survive and are both Megan and Captain Ryan hiding something?

Awoooo werewolves of Scotland

This may be one of the few times where I've watched a movie in English and desperately needed subtitles. It's even worse than in Dead Cert. The combination of thick accents, foreign slang, fast talking, and a sprinkling of military terms left me utterly lost and confused in certain scenes. It didn't make much of a difference in terms of the story, but it would have been nice to know just what people are saying. Speaking of the story, it's a fairly predictable werewolf movie with more gun play than some war movies. There are plenty of guns and explosions which is all well and good except they don't really stop the werewolves. What's the point of wasting the ammo when it's not really doing anything? The movie tries to go with a few surprises, but they were pretty obvious. The movie also makes it a point to inject humor into many scenes. Some are funny, but others are eye roll worthy.

Dog Soldiers knows it's a low budget B-movie and revels in it. Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing. The camera work was a little shaky and erratic during the action scenes making it hard to focus on what's happening. About 80% of the movie is action scenes so you can see how that would get old fast. The werewolves actually look good, but a little stiff. It's a shame the camera never really focuses on them as we get quick shots and individual body parts instead. What the movie lacks in story and logic it makes up for in loads of blood and gore. Sgt. If you like the color red, you're really like this movie. Wells actually has his guts spilling out yet manages to push them back in and get patched up for a majority of the movie. Come one, really? Injuring him makes sense, but don't eviscerate the guy and play it off like he's fine. Some may think this is nitpicking for a cheap horror movie, but it's just too hard to ignore. The direction is fine and the acting is good. 

Plunker! Tallywhacker! Wanker! Uh...Loo!

Between Julian requesting Dog Soldiers because it was terrible and online reviews saying it was great, I have to side with Julian and not just because we're both wrestling nerds. While the violence is good and there's plenty of blood and gore, it wasn't enough to keep me from slipping into bored annoyance. The accents were so thick that I was reminded of the scene in Austin Powers: Goldmember where he and his father speak “English” English. I know it's supposed to be a B-movie, but I found it too hard to ignore plot holes and predictable twists. The werewolves look good, but the film doesn't really focus on them. If you look at a movie like The Wolfman or An American Werewolf InLondon, we see plenty of werewolf. Why hide them? There are better werewolf movies out there and I suggest you find them before settling for Dog Soldiers.

4.5/10

Day 322: Witchfinder General

Witchfinder General

That sly come hither stare. That strips my conscience bare. It's witchcraft!

Horror may have the most sub categories of any film genre. We have zombies, vampires, werewolves, monsters, ghosts, possessions, exorcisms, exploitations, blaxploitations, aliens, viruses, fantasy, torture, gothic, lovecraftian, creature features and so much more. In other 300 movies, I've pretty much seen them all. Well, at least I thought I have. Today's movie is a request by Justin which brought me into a subgenre I had yet to experience: historical horror. I don't think I can really name any other historical movies off the top of my head, but the idea makes sense. History is full of atrocities and real-life monsters. After all, man is the scariest villain of all.

Witchfinder General (also known as The Conqueror Worm) is a 1968 historical horror movie based on Ronald Bassett's novel of the same name. The film stars Vincent Price (House On Haunted Hill, The Last Man On Earth) as Matthew Hopkins. In 1645, a civil war is raging throughout England. Amidst all the chaos, witch hunter Matthew Hopkins sees opportunity. With his assistant John Stearne (Robert Russell, Doctor Who, The Avengers), Hopkins travels from village to village, torturing both men and women to coerce confessions out of them of being a witch. Hopkins receives payment from the local magistrates for his work, growing his power and influence throughout the countryside. In the town of Brandeston, a soldier named Richard Marshall (Ian Ogilvy, Return Of The Saint, Death Becomes Her) plans to marry Sara, the niece of the local priest, John Lowes (Rupert Davies, Ivanhoe, Dracula Has Risen From The Grave). Richard leaves for duty just as Hopkins and his men come into the village. They begin to torture Lowes when Sara offers herself to Hopkins in order to spare her uncle. Lowes is thrown in jail as Hopkins has his way with Sara. When Hopkins is called to another village, Stearne rapes Sara. When he learns of what Stearne has done, Hopkins loses interest in Sara, and executes Lowes, along with two other women. Richard returns to Brandeston and is horrified at what has happened to Sara. He marries her in a self-made ceremony and vows to gain revenge on Robert Hopkins. Will Marshall be able to stop the torture-loving man who now calls himself the Witchfinder General?

That hair is clearly the work of Satan

On the surface, some may be quick to dismiss Witchfinder General as a horror movie. Those people would be mistaken. Granted, the movie does not contain anything of the supernatural, be neither does Jaws, and that is unquestionably a horror movie. Much like The Wicker Man, Witchfinder General's horror is out in the open with it's blatant terror. The movie is that much scarier when you know that Matthew Hopkins was a real person and actually committed these atrocities. There are quite a few graphic scenes for the time and the movie was subsequently censored as an “unusually sadistic film experience”. I am certainly no fan of torture, but the movie is tame compared to today's ultra-graphic closeups of cut achilles tendons and snapped bones. The blood used in the movie is actually bright red paint, which comes off as quaint through today's eyes. The violence is quite vicious, especially towards women, so consider this multiple “trigger” warnings. Beyond the action and torture, the movie does have some slow and dry moments.

While the movie may not be entirely historically accurate, I know very little about England's civil war, so it's not like I noticed any mistakes. In a historical context, it is important to bring up the civil war, but it doesn't add a lot to the movie itself. If anything, it takes away from the main focus which is Vincent Price being a sadistic lunatic. Price is as good as always, giving the role of Matthew Hopkins a sinister calmness that other actors would not have been able to pull off. The movie had a small budget, but the acting and direction manages to hide the fact. Having a lot of scenes filmed in the beautiful English countryside certainly helped distract from the rather mundane sets.

Witch: The other white meat

I may not have watched Witchfinder General on my own, but I had a decent time watching it. I enjoyed the historical aspect of it and learned a few new things. Though tame by today's standards, the movie still has a lot of violence and torture, particularly towards women. While there are no graphic or extended scenes of rape, they do exist and are at best uncomfortable. There is a good amount of action, though the time in between does become slow and meandering. Vincent Price is great at Matthew Hopkins, giving the character a cold and calculating feel. The movie does have a creeping sense of terror and uneasiness that is hard to shake, especially with the dark ending. Witchfinder General may not be at the top of any horror list, but it's a sneaky movie that will stay with you long after the credits have rolled.

For your listening pleasure, here is the heavy metal band Witchfinder General with their song "Death Penalty". Special thanks to Justin for the request. If you'd like to request a movie for review, send me an email at 365daysofhorror@gmail.com.

7.5/10

Day 320: The Woman In Black

The Woman In Black

Back in black

It's rare that I watch a movie having absolutely zero knowledge of what is going to happen. Contrary to the belief that someone who has watched one horror movie a day for over three hundred days, I don't sit online watching trailers and researching everything horror. I like the genre, but I just don't hang out on horror forums and websites. Still, I usually have a general knowledge of what movie I am about to watch. I was almost completely in the dark for today's movie. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing doesn't matter, but it put me in an interesting spot as I had no idea what to expect.Today's review is a request by Rob. If you'd like to request a movie for me to review, send me an email at 365daysofhorror@gmail.com.

The Woman In Black is a 1989 British television horror movie based on the novel of the same name by Susan Hill. The movie stars Adrian Rawlins (multiple Harry Potter films) as Arthur Kidd. Arthur is a solicitor in London who is sent to the small coastal town on the east coast of England to attend the funeral of a widower named Alice Drablow. On the train to the town, Arthur meets Sam Toovey, a wealthy landowner who appears to be unsettled at the news of Arthur dealing with Mrs. Drablow's belongings. Arthur attends the funeral with a local solicitor when he notices a lone woman in black at the back of the church. After the ceremony, Arthur once again sees the mysterious woman among the gravestones. He travels to Mrs. Drablow's isolated home, Eel Marsh House, near the coast. As he walks around the home's graveyard, he sees the woman in black. She begins to walk toward him and Arthur flees to the house in terror. He inspects the house, coming across the death certificates of two people and pictures of a woman who looks suspiciously like the woman in black. He also listens to disturbing wax cylinders recorded by the late Mrs. Drablow. While walking on the path outside the home, Arthur hears the horrendous screams and crashing sounds, but cannot find any accident. After visiting Mr. Toovey in town, Arthur returns to the home with Mr. Toovey's dog, Spider. The strange occurrences continue, including strange sounds from upstairs in a room with a locked door. Arthur gets an ax to break it down, but discovers that the door is now open. The room was an old nursery and Arthur begins to hear the voice of a child. After doing some research, Arthur learns that Mrs. Drablow had a sister named Jennet who had a child. The boy was adopted by Mrs. Drablow and her husband, but Jennet took her son and both were killed in an accident on the trail outside the house. Is Jennet the woman in black and what does she want with Arthur?

Stop! She can't see you if you stand perfectly still.

As I said before, I had no idea what to expect from The Woman In Black. The story itself plays out like a mixture of Poe and Lovecraft's non-science fiction work. It's a slow-boil ghost story that trickles out clues throughout the entire film. The big factor that separates this movie from others is that it was created for British television and not for a wider audience. Being on television obviously cut down on the potential for violence and truly horrific scares, but the movie does have a few good jolts. They are old-school horror scares with strange sounds and phenomena. The woman in black is supremely unsettling to look at as she stands very still in the background, watching and waiting. The disembodied screams are also unpleasant, especially considering how loud they are. Be careful watching this at home because a neighbor may call the police on you.

As a boorish Yankee watching this, I did find it occasionally difficult to understand some of the regional words and phrases being used. A lot of the characters had the “stiff upper lip” attitude, which wore on me after a while. Again, boorish Yankee here. The movie is a tad long, especially considering the movie's slow pace and minimal action. The acting is very good as Adrian Rawlins manages to convey a true sense of terror even when he is alone in a scene. The end of the film may be controversial for some. I am still on the fence about it. On the one hand, it was a genuine surprise, but on the other it was too definite in it's scope. I think a little bit of ambiguity could have been scarier.

The forehead in pale

Sometimes it's good not knowing what to expect from a movie. I had no preconceived notions and allowed the movie to progress naturally. The Woman In Black has a good, traditional horror story that many literary fans will enjoy. If you're looking for lots of action and blood, this isn't for you. The movie does have a few genuine scares and plenty of unsettling moments. It's a little long and dry at certain points which slows down the overall horror. The acting is good and the atmosphere is appropriate. The movie is handicapped a bit by being made-for-television, but not to the point where the quality is cut off. While not a perfect horror story, The Woman In Black is still enjoyable.

7.5/10

Day 294: The Wicker Man

The Wicker Man

From the makers of The Chia Pet

I never understood the saying “You need some of that old-time religion.” What exactly does that mean? If the speaker is referencing Jesus or Christianity, then they're way off. If you want to talk about “old-time religion” you better be referencing the god of the harvest a while wearing goat leggings and singing a jig in a long-dead language. The term pagan is thrown around a lot nowadays in reference to many different things, but it's important to remember that there are people still to this day that actually practice the “old-time religion”.

The Wicker Man is a 1973 British horror film starring Edward Woodward as Sergeant Neil Howie (Hot Fuzz, King David) and Christopher Lee (Lord Of The Rings, Dracula) as Lord Summerisle. Sergeant Howie receives an anonymous letter requesting his assistance in the case of a missing girl on the tiny isle of Summerisle. Howie must travel by small plane to get to the island and can only get to shore by rowboat. He begins asking the town people about the girl he is searching for, Rowan Morrison, but the all claim to never have heard of her. The people of the island have a strange way about them and it makes Howie, a devout Christian, incredibly uncomfortable. The sing songs about the harvest, have sex in open fields, discuss the importance of the phallic nature of the maypole, and use old forms of medicine. Howie stays at a local inn while continuing his investigation and notices photographs from the island's yearly harvest. Last year's photo is missing and he is told that someone accidentally broke it. At night, Howie is tempted by the innkeeper's daughter Willow (Britt Ekland, The Man With The Golden Gun, Satan's Mistress), but he refuses, explaining that he is a virgin and doesn't believe in sex before marriage. He travels to the school, where he discovers more evidence that Rowan Morrison did, in fact, live on the island. Howie speaks with the leader of the island, Lord Summerisle, about his investigation. Summerisle tells Howie of the islands history, explaining that his grandfather came to the island and developed a new strain of fruit that he believed could thrive in their climate. He instilled in the population the idea that if they prayed to the old gods, that the crops would grow and they would thrive. With the old ways also came sacrifices to the gods to ensure good crops. Howie discovers Rowan's grave and unearths her coffin only to discover a dead rabbit inside. He also finds that Rowan is in the missing picture of last year's harvest, standing amongst a poor crop. He believes that she will be sacrificed on May Day, which is tomorrow. Will Sergeant Howie be able to save her and is everything on Summerisle as it appears to be?

"As you can see, the Wicker Man is quite roomy and has a lovely view."

Ignore everything you heard about the horrendous remake of The Wicker Man that came out a few years ago starring Nicholas Cage. That movie is an abomination. Thankfully, the original Wicker Man is highly enjoyable thanks to it's great acting, solid writing, and fun mystery. The movie doesn't start out suspenseful, allowing the fear and anxiety to grow over time. Some movies are all suspense all the time and it wears out the audience. The Wicker Man takes it's time while still having an appropriate pace and surprises the audience without resorting to quick “jump at you” moments or gory violence. The audience gets sucked into the mystery of Rowan Morrison and follows along with Sergeant Howie as he traverses this strange island. The story is really, really good, never tipping it's hand until the final act when the movie truly becomes horror. The scene where Howie finally “meets” the wicker man is both terrifying and deflating as we know his fate.

While the story is very good, it's the acting in the movie that really makes it great. Edward Woodward represents the Christian world and, to a lesser extent, the audience. He epitomizes the term “stiff upper lip” trying to keep his composure in a a land full of strange customs and acts. Christopher Lee is equally great Lord Summerisle. While he and the rest of the people are technically the villagers, the conduct themselves with a smile, something that most horror movies do not do. This makes the movie very unnerving the horror that much scarier. They are true believers, committing acts that others would deem barbaric all in the hopes of having a good life. Throughout the movie, we hear various pagan songs from the people and admittedly they are very catchy. Christopher Lee is actually a classically-trained singer and his iconic voice sounds great in the movie. He actually released a symphonic metal metal album and a heavy metal album a few years back. It's not bad, but you have to watch this ridiculous music video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvKRbi2ovDY.

Touchdown!

The Wicker Man is occult horror without the flaming pentagrams and shouts to the devil. The movie doesn't require blood and gore or jump at you moments in order to be scary. The story has a great mixture of mystery and suspense that keeps the audience wanting to see more. The ending is fantastic and comes as quite a shock to the system without having to relying on a major twist. The acting is great with Christopher Lee and Edward Woodward putting in fantastic performances. The movie does bring up the power of religion and beliefs, but you can interpret that in however way you like. Wicker Man is a classic for a reason, but be sure to skip the remake. A “spiritual” sequel was released in 2011 and there is work on a third film entitled The Wrath Of The Gods. If you're thinking of checking those out, be sure to start with the original.

9/10

Day 279: Let Sleeping Corpses Lie

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie

You lie down with corpses, you're going to get...uh...horrible diseases

“We're all automatons: each one of us is a slave to the basic instructions embedded deep within our brains, the instincts enshrined deep down in our DNA. Inexorable logics. Uncontrollable patterns in our behavior; tics and compulsions that we can't avoid; obsessive thought, violence, delusion, paranoia: we're all zombies!” Those are the lyrics to the song “Drive To Destruction” by the awesome British thrash metal/“Zombicore” band Send More Paramedics. Our friends “across the pond” sure do love their zombies. Whether it's 28 Days Later, Shaun Of The Dead, or the television series Dead Set, the UK has a solid history of making good zombie-related entertainment. Most of my examples, though are from the bast 15 years. I felt it was time to go back into horror's past and see a British zombie movie from an earlier time. Well, it's actually filmed in Italy and has mostly Italian actors, but it's supposed to take place in England, so we'll go with that.

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (also known as The Living Dead At The Manchester Morgue and Don't Open The Window) is 1974 Spanish/Italian zombie movie set in the English countryside. The movie stars Ray Lovelock (Almost Human, Fiddler On The Roof) as George and Cristina Galbo (The House That Screamed, From Pink To Yellow) as Edna. On a trip to sell an antique statue, George's motorcycle is accidentally damaged by Edna. Edna gives him a ride to his destination, but insists on stopping at her sister's house first. They get lost on the way and George gets out of the car to ask some men for directions. Some of the men work for the Department of Agriculture who are using an experimental machine that uses ultra-sonic radiation to kill insects before they can destroy crops. While waiting by the car, Edna is attacked by a man who came out of the river, but he disappears before George returns. Meanwhile, Edna's sister Katie, a heroin addict, gets into a fight with her husband Martin and plans on killing him. Before she can complete her plan, she is attacked by the same man who attacked Edna. Katie escapes and runs to her husband who is then attacked by the man. Martin hits the man in the head several times with a rock, but he cannot be stopped and the man, now revealed to be zombie, kills Martin. Edna and George arrive in time to see Katie frantically running from the scene. The police sergeant (Arthur Kennedy, The Sentinel, Champion) accuses Katie of killing Martin, causing her to have a breakdown and be hospitalized. At the hospital, George learns that some of the babies, all from the area they just came from, have been trying to bite people. George and Edna try to exonerate Katie while the sergeant pursues them. Their investigation leads them to the town graveyard where they enter an underground crypt where the man who killed Martin was supposedly buried. There, they are attacked by the man, who brings other corpses to life. They kill and gruesomely eat a policeman sent to trail George and Edna. With the dead coming back to life and the sergeant on their trail, how will George and Edna survive and will they be able to prove Katie's innocence?

"This police officer is going straight to my thighs!"

I didn't know much about Let Sleeping Corpses Lie before viewing it, but had seen it's name pop up on multiple top zombie movie lists. If it can share the same space as Dawn Of The Dead, Planet Terror, and Dead Alive, it must be good. Right? Well, maybe for some people, but definitely not for me. That's right, I didn't like a “cult classic”. I was incredibly bored for most of this movie. I felt that not enough time was devoted to the zombies. Instead, a good chunk of the movie focuses on the asshole sergeant giving George and Edna a hard time like they're a couple of college kids on spring break. The story itself is quite bland for my taste, filled with unlikable characters and mediocre acting. The direction is fine and the graphic violence will make serious horror fans squeal with glee.

I will say that Let Sleeping Corpses Lie does fit in well between Night Of The Living Dead and the gorier Italian zombie movies like Zombie. These are the slow, lurching Romero zombies combined with Fulci's extremley violent zombies. There aren't a lot of action scenes, but the ones that do exist are pretty gory for the time. It's just not enough to keep my attention for very long. Instead of the dead rising from their graves or people turning into a zombie from an infected bite, these zombies reanimate after the lead zombie puts blood on their eyes. That's, uh, new to say the least. It wasn't entirely clear if a bite would change people, so that's just poor story making. By not having zombie bites change people, a lot of danger and excitement is removed from the movie. The zombies all make a constant groaning noise, which makes sense in terms of “science” but it does become annoying over time. The movie does have social commentary in regards to technology and authority, but I would have liked more. Once again, too much focus was given on the quest to prove Katie's innocence.

Just another night at Glenn Beck's house

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie isn't a bad movie, it just didn't entertain me. The pacing was too slow and there was not enough action to keep my attention. The zombies are of the traditional slow variety and the makeup used to create them isn't particularly special. The violence and gore are both very, very good, but they are used sparingly. I appreciated the brief social commentary used in the film. It's more than a lot of other zombie movies are able to muster. The movie is currently on Youtube, so by all means give it a watch. You may like it better than I did.

5/10

Day 225: Black Sabbath

Black Sabbath

Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath

No, this isn't a review of a live DVD of the band Black Sabbath. Geezer Butler is not a werewolf, Tony Iommi, is not a zombie, Bill Ward is not the Blob, and Ozzy Osbourne is, well, Ozzy Osbourne. While that sounds like the best horror movie ever, today's review is actually for the movie from which the famous heavy metal band took their name. I always thought that this movie was British because the band was British, but to my surprise, it is actually from Italy. Originally titled “I tre volti della paura”, Black Sabbath is three unconnected tales of terror. It must be good if the original heavy metal band took their name from it, right?

Black Sabbath is a 1963 horror anthology directed by Mario Bava (Baron Blood, Shock). Dubbed in English from the original Italian, Black Sabbath tells three horror tales. An older Boris Karloff introduces us to each of the stories: “The Drop Of Water”, “The Telephone”, and “The Wurdalak”. In “The Drop Of Water,” Nurse Helen Chester is called to the house of a supposed medium and witch who has recently died. The old woman lays dead on her bed with her eyes wide open and a sickly grin frozen in place. As Helen prepares the body, she steals a sapphire ring off the corpse and hides it on her person. As she does, she knocks over a glass, causing water to drip on the floor. She is also harassed by a fly in the room that lands directly on the finger where the ring used to be. When she returns home, Helen is once again bothered by the fly. Strange events occur, such as flickering lights and the dripping sound of water. She begins to see the dead old woman in her house, her eyes wide and her grin still fixed to her face. What will happen to Helen? The second story, “The Telephone” tells the story of a beautiful woman named Rosy who is harassed by a phone-caller. The caller makes sexual comments and threatens Rosy, saying he will get her before the police arrive. Terrified, Rosy calls her friend Mary to come stay with her. Rosy believes the caller is Frank, her dead husband. As Rosy sleeps, Mary writes her a note begging for her to seek help. She is unaware that the caller is even closer than Rosy thought. What will happen to Rosy and who has been calling her? In the final story based on a story by Tolstoy, “The Wurdalak,” a young nobleman named Vladimir Durfe discovers a beheaded corpse with a sword stuck in it's back. He takes the sword and when he enters a village later that night, a man, Giorgio, recognizes the sword as his father's who had not been seen for five days. Vladimir stays the night with Giorgio and his family who explain their father, Gorca (Boris Karloff, Frankenstein, The Mummy) went to fight the wurdalak (vampire) Ali Beg. At the stroke of midnight, Gorca returns to the home, looking gravely pale and carrying the head of Ali Beg. His unkempt appearance, harsh disposition, and the baying of hounds convince the family that Gorca has in fact become a wurdalak. Gorca picks off the family, one by one, leaving only Vladimir and beautiful Sdenka. What will happen to them?

Ozzy looks terrible!

Black Sabbath is a prime example of how to correctly do a horror anthology. Each story manages to establish the characters and get to the point quickly. Director Mario Bava is able to craft each story well, with a good mixture of different horror styles. All three stories are both visually and psychologically appealing with plenty of fear. Boris Karloff is wonderful introducing each story adding a wry sense of humor not seen in his classic works. All three of the stories are simple, yet effective. If you read scary stories as a child, each of these should sound somewhat familiar. It's important to keep in mind that this movie came out in the early sixties and the stories were based on much older tales, so no need to scream about originality. I never like movies being dubbed as I find it distracting, but thankfully it wasn't too bad in Black Sabbath.

The Drop Of Water is colorful and atmospheric, making for a creepy feel. The woman's distorted face is unnerving and far scarier than any computerized effect. The Telephone is your typical “scary caller” horror story, made most popular by 1973's “When A Stranger Calls” with the addition of a ghost story. If the story doesn't really make sense (why would a ghost call his former wife and then try to kill her?) it's because the English version has been hacked to pieces and reworked. The original Italian version has Rosy and Mary in a lesbian affair and Frank escaping from prison. That makes much more sense than the version I watched. I suppose American/British audiences weren't ready for that type of subject matter. The Wurdalak is the longest of the stories, but probably the best. Karloff is fantastic as the vampire Gorca creating a real sense of dread in the audience. There is a good amount of fear and action in this story with some good sets and costumes. 

Paranoid

Black Sabbath is a fun movie with a set of good, basic stories. There are some good chills and a decent amount of action. There are some changes from the original version, so if you are able to, watch that one instead of the altered version. Boris Karloff is very enjoyable, showcasing his range as an actor, from clever host to terrifying monster. The directorial talent of Bava is on display as well, mixing up different styles, but still capable of delivering the horror goods. Black Sabbath is quite enjoyable and well worth your time.

8/10

Day 218: The Deaths Of Ian Stone

The Deaths Of Ian Stone

Get this guy some moisturizer

We live in a world of regret. Each one of us has a moment in their life they'd like to do over. Maybe say something different or act a different way in the hopes that the outcome would be different. These range from life decisions such as going to a different college or taking a different job. There is always the “what if” in life that invades our minds in those brief moments before falling asleep. These fantasies we have are created from our own minds and turn out the way we want. But what happens when these different lives are not your decision and there is nothing you can do to stop them from happening?

The Deaths of Ian Stone is a 2007 horror movie starring starring Mike Vogel (Cloverfield, The Help) as Ian Stone. Ian is an American living in England. He plays hockey and is very much in love with his British girlfriend, Jenny (Christina Cole, Casino Royale, Hex). One night after losing a hockey game, Ian comes across a man lying in the road. He gets out to check on him, but is attacked by the “corpse.” He is pushed onto nearby train tracks and is hit by an oncoming train. At the point of impact, Ian wakes up at his desk in an office. He is confused and remembers nothing, but tries to go about his day. Outside his office, he sees a man having a heart attack. One of the people attending to the man holds his hand and appears to be pulling the life force out of him. Ian is no longer dating Jenny, but lives with a mysterious woman named Medea (Jaime Murray, Devil's Playground, Botched). The next day, Ian meets an old man who frantically warms Ian that he is in danger and that “they” are coming. The old man is grabbed by something and pulled away. Eventually, Ian is killed by Medea, who is one of these monsters, and instantly starts a new life. The cycle continues with Ian waking up in a new life, but the one constant is that Jenny is in each of these lives. He begins to remember pieces of his previous lives when he runs into the old man from before. He learns that these monsters are called Harvesters who feed on fear and pain. Ian also discovers that he is one of them and rebelled against the colony when he fell in love with Jenny. Will Ian be able to remember his true past and free Jenny and himself from this endless cycle?

Hugs!

The concept of repeating lives in horror and science fiction is nothing new. The Deaths of Ian Stone instantly brings to mind The Time Machine and The Butterfly Effect. It's always fun to see where these movies go when they explore different lives of the main character. This movie does give us a few different lives, such as Ian being a heroin addict, but I feel like they should have really switched things up. Most of the time, he and Jenny were just working a different profession. The story itself is pretty mediocre, giving off the sense that I've already seen this movie before. Where this movie differs is the inclusion of the Harvester monsters who look like a cross between the smoke monster from Lost and Blackheart from the Marvel Super Heroes arcade game. The special effects used to create the monsters are decent and I never felt like the movie was overdoing it. The movie avoids most of the science fiction in favor of monsters and action. There is some blood and gore, but for a horror movie, this wasn't particularly scary or thrilling. The action is pretty much paint-by-numbers, with the last 20 or so minutes focusing solely on Ian fighting the Harvesters. The try to make the movie a love story, but it isn't able to really pull it off.

The character of Ian Stone is supposed to be your typical All-American boy, but Mike Vogel looks so much like Michael DeLuise who played the bully Matt Wilson from Encino Man that I couldn't take him seriously. I also find it strange that they decided to set the movie in the UK and have every other character in the movie be British. Is this supposed to be some fish-out-of-water experience? It just seems random and unnecessary to make the main character American. I also find it weird that they have him play hockey. I love hockey and I'm always happy to see it in movies, it's just not the biggest sport in either the United States or England. The acting and direction in the movie is fine, but nothing spectacular. That pretty much sums up the entire movie. Nothing is offensive or bad. Everything is just “OK”.

Aw, snap

The Deaths of Ian Stone tries to add a horror twist to the life-altering science-fiction genre. The inclusion of the Harvesters makes for an interesting idea and lets the movie have more action and violence. The monsters look good and the special effects are not overdone. I'm glad the movie explained who they are and what they're doing. Plenty of movies get lazy and only give a half-assed explanation. The action is decent with some good blood and violence. As a whole, the movie is pretty mediocre. No new ground is broken which is a shame because they could have made the cycle of lives far more interesting than what they came up with. The Deaths of Ian Stone is a watchable movie and even has a few good moments, but it isn't particularly special.

5.5/10

Day 73: Doghouse

Doghouse

Maybe "Bro Movie" was the original title

Mancaves. Bromance. Mancession. All of these stupid made-up words and concepts annoy me. I mostly see it as insecure men grasping at straws in a vain attempt to reclaim some sort of relevance they once thought they had. It's also a scam to get men to buy expensive grills and put flat screen tvs in their garage. But hey, that's just me. If a horror movie is deeply entrenched in misogyny, much like those ideas, can the movie still be entertaining?

Doghouse tells the story of seven friends, all having trouble in their respective relationships, going on a weekend trip to the small English town of Moodley. Vince (Stephen Graham, Snatch, Boardwalk Empire) is going through a difficult divorce and has become a shell of the man he used to be. Joined by womanizer Neil, nerdy Matt, homosexual Graham, Patrick, and Mikey, they arrive in the town of Moodley to discover the town appears to be abandoned. Their perpetually late friend Banksy is, of course, running late. When they finally see a woman walking down the street, she is attacked by a man in military uniform. The rescue her only to have her stab Neil. They are able to knock her out and see that she is some sort of zombie. Various infected women come out and try to kill the men in various ways. It is revealed that a biological weapon has been released in the town through washing powder and only women are affected. The soldier reveals that he has a secret weapon, a sonic device that can emit a high-pitched sound only women can hear. Unfortunately, it doesn't work and he is soon killed by Mikey's zombified grandmother. Will these men be able to survive this onslaught of bloodthirsty women and be able to survive their midlife crises?

Well, there are more terrible ways to go than this

As if you couldn't tell, Doghouse is very much written by a man for men. Having women in general as your main horror villains comes off as something a pre-teen boy would come up with. I mean, I can laugh at something ridiculous like the Man Show, but this movie felt like it went a bit overboard. When Vince has his big revelation towards the end of this man-centric adventure, you'd think it would be something about acceptance and understanding of women, but no, it's even more misogynistic than before. It's like if at the end of Train Spotting, the characters decide that heroin IS the answer and dive nose-first into a kiddie pool filled with H.

All that being said, it does answer the question of “can it be entertaining?” The answer is “kind of.” The comedy is decent, but it doesn't possess a lot of laugh out loud moments like, say, Shaun of the Dead. Maybe it's because both are horror comedies and both are British, but Doghouse definitely had a strong feeling of being Shaun of the Dead-lite. The comedy just wasn't as good and even the horror parts weren't as scary. Doghouse has far more blood, gore, and creative killing, but its so goofy that you're never actually scared. The acting is good all around and the makeup on the monsters is very well done. 

Just your average day at Super Cuts

Doghouse does have it's entertaining moments both as a comedy and a horror movie. A decent, if not simple, story is complimented by good acting and lots of blood and guts. All that being said, it's still very hard to get around all the woman-bashing. Was the writer treated so horribly by a woman that he needed to pen a full-length movie to bash the entire gender? It's really up to the audience to decide if they can look past all of that and enjoy the movie. If you can do that, Doghouse has it's moments, but you'll still feel very dirty.

6.5/10

Day 39: Deathwatch

Deathwatch

A subsidiary of Corpse Clocks Inc.

There just aren't enough war-themed horror movies. Sure, some do exist, but for such a wide range of locations and stories, war-related horror has only scratched the surface. I'd sure love to see a zombie movie during the Revolutionary War or maybe a werewolf in the Vietnam War. The possibilities are endless. When I saw Deathwatch was set during World War I, I thought it was a good setting for a horror movie that hadn't been done too much.

Deathwatch follows a small company of British soldiers in the German trenches. A low haze covers the company, but what is first feared to be mustard gas turns out to be an inexplicable fog. When the fog lifts, the group come across a trench and capture a German soldier. The soldier informs them that the trench is evil, but they ignore him and hunker down. Strange voices, sounds, and disturbing visions start to play tricks on the British soldiers' minds. The soldiers begin to unravel and the bodies start piling up. Will the soldiers survive, what is happening, and is there something more to this isolated German trench than meets the eye?

You feel a bit warm. Better sit out the rest of the war.

Deathwatch is full of action and suspense. The early battle scenes would fit in with any war movie, with its believable explosions and gunfire. The isolated location of the trench was a good choice, aided by grey skies and a low-hanging fog. You practically feel the dirt and blood under your finger nails as the soldiers sit and wait for help that is never going to come. You can almost smell the gun smoke and mildew. The acting is good all around, each actor playing their part well. Andy Serkis (Lord of the Rings) is especially good as the hulking and brutal Private Quinn, but I can't get over the fact that he was also Golem. It's nice to see him get a chance to be in front of the camera for a change, though.

The story itself, while not wholly unique, does get a nice spin from it's historical and physical location. If you've seen one supernatural movie where people go insane, you've seen them all. There's a bit of blood and a few creative kills, but most of the horror and suspense comes from the fear of the unknown. There is a moral to the story and you can pretty much see where the movie is going from the first 15 minutes or so. It was a bit predictable and that took some of the excitement out of watching the movie all the way through.

That's for falling on my spaghetti and meatballs!

Ultimately, Deathwatch is a typical horror movie with a unique setting and location. The acting really helps the film set itself apart from other psychological supernatural horror movies. Good action keeps you interested and the suspense keeps you fearful. It does feel a bit heavy-handed in the moral department and is fairly predictable. If you like your surprises, you'll be disappointed. Otherwise, Deathwatch has it's merits and is a fairly enjoyable watch.

7/10

Day 1: Dead Cert

Dead Cert

You Think You Know Shitty Moves? Think Again.

What is a Dead Cert? A death certificate? A concert by the Grateful Dead? While the name of the movie may be a common turn of phrase in the Queen's English, the incomprehensible accents make it impossible to tell if it was even used in the movie. The accents were so thick at times that I honestly think they're not speaking English, but Stereotype. I'm reminded of Austin Powers asking his father to speak “English-English”.

Dead Cert is a movie about fighting undead creatures amid the seedy criminal world; or at least that's what they want you to think when you look at the advertisements. Instead, Dead Cert is really 2 separate movies in one: 3/4 of the movie is focused on underground fights, a strip club, Romanian gangsters, and drugs. The viewer needs to make a serious effort to get through the first half, watching unlikable characters plod along in what feels like a generic, gritty gangster movie and not a horror movie. On top of that, it's hard to get emotionally attached to characters when you don't know or care to remember their names. By the time anything starts to really happen, you're cheering for the monsters to kill them just so you don't have to see them anymore. The constant line running through my head while watching is “WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH HORROR?!”

Dead Cert FINALLY picks up in the last 35 minutes, where it actually becomes a horror movie. It closely resembles From Dusk Till Dawn thanks to the vampire strippers attacking the customer plot line. The special effects are passable at best, but at this point, I'm just happy to seem some fangs. There are some lopped off limbs and spurting blood that help you forget about the first half of the movie. The movie does deserve some props for a giant crucifix-to-the-head death and a creative way to dispatch the head vampire baddy.

I was greatly disappointed to find out that this movie had absolutely nothing to do with breath mints. I was hoping for a cool, refreshing dose of horror and was left with the taste of aluminum foil. Maybe Dead LifeSavers or Dead Jolly Ranchers would have been better. The only thing that saved this movie from receiving a 1 is the decent last half hour. I think if they focused more on, you know, actual horror, this movie might have been enjoyable. While I still don't know how they chose the title, I'm dead cert I wouldn't recommend it. Fangs for nothing.

What a way to start off this project. If the next 364 movies are like this, I'll lose my mind.

4/10