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Friday, January 13, 2012

Day 13: Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday
Contains trace amounts of Jason and Hell

Happy Friday the 13th everyone. What better way to celebrate than to watch a movie starring our favorite killing machine, Jason? At least that's what I thought until I watched Jason Goes To Hell. I must've broken a mirror while walking under a ladder made of black cats because this was a big mistake.

Jason Goes To Hell starts with an FBI sting operation to kill Jason. They don't just kill him, the blow him up into little pieces. Of course, even that won't stop Jason and his essence or aura or whatever you want to call it travels from person to person, leaving a bloody swath across the country, heading towards Crystal Lake. Bounty hunter Creighton Duke knows how to dispatch Jason for good; Jason can only be killed by another Vorhees. It just so has it that the surviving Vorhees, Diana, Jessica and her baby are conveniently still in Crystal Lake. You'd think with a name like Vorhees you'd want to get as far away from the site of gruesome mass murders or at least change your name, but no. That would make sense. Ultraviolent murders ensue and it's up to Jessica to kill Jason and finally send him to hell.

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Jason Goes To Hell is the 9th film in the series, following the disastrous Jason Takes Manhattan. It's labeled as The Final Friday, but we all know that's not true. Kane Hodder returns as Jason, but it doesn't matter all that much because Jason is barely in this movie. He's shows up in the beginning and about 15 minutes before the end. In between, Jason's spirit possesses other people. I watched this movie because I want to see Jason murder the shit out of people, not a assortment of random people. Where's the fun in that? All of this makes me feel like the story was written to be a separate movie and they just slapped Jason and Crystal Lake on top of it and called it a day.

One of the biggest problems with Jason Goes To Hell is that the average movie viewer will have no idea what's going on. Usually sequels take a few minutes to catch you up to speed and reintroduce characters. Not this one. We are never given a good explanation to who these people are and why should we care about them. It doesn't help that some of the acting is weak. The movie does have a solid amount of gruesome and creative kills. Good detail is given to the gory makeup and blood. Cannibal Corpse would be proud to display some of these scenes on their album covers. There are a few references to Evil Dead and A Nightmare On Elm Street which should make horror fans smile.

Slipknot has seen better days

When you watch a Friday the 13th movie, you expect to see an unkillable murder machine in a hockey mask tearing through sexy teenagers. Jason Goes To Hell gips you out of seeing the main character for almost the entire movie. That's like watching Predator and having him show up with 5 minutes to go. Good kills and plenty of gore are not enough to cover up the poor acting and messy story. There are worse in the Friday the 13th series, but there are much, much better.


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