Day 339: The Dunwich Horror

The Dunwich Horror

I like my Dunwich with the crusts cut off

Why? Why is it so hard for Hollywood to make a good H.P. Lovecraft movie? The stories are there. The built-in audience is there. The merchandise is there. Just get a competent director and actors who can talk without accidentally swallowing your tongue and you're halfway there. Hollywood managed to crank out plenty of Harry Potter and Twilight movies, but we can't get a good “Beyond The Wall Of Sleep” “The Shadow Over Innsmouth” or “Cool Air”? We're getting a freaking 50 Shades Of Grey movie faster than At The Mountains Of Madness. I've reviewed a few Lovecraft-based movies and for the most part, they've been terrible. Like riding a bicycle, sometimes you just have to keep trying with horror, so I might as well try with The Dunwich Horror.

The Dunwich Horror is a 1970 horror movie starring Dean Stockwell (Air Force One, The Langoliers) as Wilbur Whateley and Sandra Dee (Come September, Rose!) as Nancy Wagner. At Miskatonic University in Arkham, Massachussetts, Dr. Armitage (Ed Begley, Sweet Bird Of Youth, 12 Angry Men) is giving a lecture on local history and the very rare book The Necronomicon. He gives the priceless book to his student Nancy Wagner who is to lock it up in the school library. There she meets Wilbur Whateley who asks to see it before she puts it away. His hypnotic gaze overcomes Nancy allowing him to look through the book and discover a certain passage. Dr. Armitage catches him, but Wilbur's gaze also overtakes the doctor and all three end up having dinner together. Nancy, still under Wilbur's power, agrees to drive him to his home in Dunwich where he disables her car, forcing her to stay overnight. At the house, Nancy encounters the strange Old Whateley, Wilbur's grandfather, who warns her that she should not be in the house. When Nancy is not found the next day, Armitage and her friend Elizabeth find her at the Whateley home. Nancy refuses to leave, saying she wants to stay with Wilbur for the weekend. Armitage begins to investigate Wilbur and discovers that his mother Lavinia is still alive and currently living in an asylum. She actually had twins, but apparently one was stillborn. The father was unknown and the birth was so painful and traumatic that Lavinia lost her mind. It is revealed that Wilbur plans to use Nancy in a cult ceremony that would bring the Old Gods back to our dimension. Will Dr. Armitage be able to stop him and what exactly lives in the locked room of the Whateley house?

"Soon, Justin Bieber....very soon!"

Holy crap on crust was this bad. My love of Lovecraft's work is no secret. I even visited his grave at the fantastic Swan Point Cemetary in Providence, Rhode Island. I really enjoy his short story “The Dunwich Horror” and was hoping that the movie would be able to do it justice. While the movie does retain some of the names and some plot details, there's very little connecting it to the story. Instead of mystery, intrigue, and a dark, creeping atmosphere, we get a B-movie with bad acting, goofy special effects, and extended sexuality. It all makes sense when you see that one of the producers was Roger Corman, the king of schlock. I understand that stories need to be tweaked and adjusted for the big screen, but The Dunwich Horror creates the Nancy character and goes off in a completely different direction. Gone are the Lovecraftian touches of horror, replaced with a story that doesn't really go anywhere and super-cheap special effects. We get a multi-colored strobe effect that washes over entire scenes. The first few times it was kind of neat, but then it kept happening. And happening. And happening. It was harsh on the eyes and just plain annoying. When we finally see what is in the locked room it looks like it fell off the set of H.R. Puffinstuff.

It doesn't help the movie that the acting is especially bad. Dean Stockwell gives an awkward, sweaty performance that makes me want to register him as a sex offender. He gives creepier stares than that guy in his 40's going to high school basketball games by himself. Sandra Dee isn't given much to work with as she's essentially hypnotized for most of the film. This was Ed Begley's last film which is a shame. He does his best, but it's just not enough. The direction is shoddy at times and the camerawork could have been better. There is a fight scene in the library that had to have been done in one take it's so bad. Combine the bad fighting with absolutely no music and it's just a trainwreck of epic proportions. Nothing in the movie is scary (well beyond Dena Stockwell's molester stare) which is too bad because Lovecraft can be quite terrifying.

"So...my cult or yours?"

Lovecraft fans will be disappointed with The Dunwich Horror. Hell, horror fans will be disappointed with with The Dunwich Horror. The story only retains a few details from the original story and some basic plot points. The acting is not good and makes the bad story even worse. There is a serious lack of atmosphere or any real horror, replaced by 1960's sex and psychedelia. It also doesn't help that the movie is supposed to take place in Massachusetts, but it's clearly shot in California. It's unintentionally funny and certainly different from a typical movie at the time. If you're morbidly curious, check it out, but if you're looking for a good movie, stay far away.

2/10

Day 329: In the Mouth Of Madness

In The Mouth Of Madness

Give a hoot. Read a book.

What is reality? Is it what we think and feel or is it something tangible that we can touch and mold? I don't know, I'm not a psychology major. What I do know is that a lot of horror movies like to ask that question. It's mostly used as an excuse to shoot all sorts of crazy things and get away with it? Want the walls to melt? Question reality! Want your main character to rip his own face off? Question reality! Want to see another show staring the Kardashians? Punch yourself in the face AND question reality! Regardless of how you feel in regards to the esoteric questions of life and reality, you have to admit, it allows for some crazy things to happen in a movie.

In The Mouth Of Madness is a  1995 horror movie written by Michael De Luca (Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, Judge Dredd) and directed by John Carpenter (The Thing, Prince Of Darkness). The movie stars Sam Neill (Jurassic Park, Event Horizon) as private investigator John Trent. Trent is committed to an insane asylum where he is visited by Dr. Wrenn (David Warner, Titanic, Tron) to recount his story of how he ended up there. After solving a case, Trent is attacked by an ax-wielding maniac who asks him if he reads horror author Sutter Cain's (Jurgen Prochnow, Das Boot, Beverly Hills Cop II) work before being shot by police. Trent was hired by Arcane Publishing director Jackson Harglow (Charlton Heston, Planet Of The Apes, The Ten Commandments) to track down the now-missing Cane. Cane's work is immensely popular, garnering a rabid fan-base. Fights and riots have broken out by people pre-ordering his latest book, In The Mouth Of Madness. Harglow assigns Cane's editor Linda Styles (Julie Carmen, True Women, Fright Night Part 2) to join Trent in his search. After reading Cane's books, Trent begins to experience very intense and very realistic nightmares of deformed monsters coming after him. Styles explains that Cane's work is known to cause hallucinations and paranoia among his more "unstable" readers. Trent discovers that the covers to Cane's work are actually a map of New Hampshire and show the way to Hobb's End, a supposedly fictional town. Trent and Styles somehow manage to find the town which is laid out exactly how Cane wrote it, complete with a strange black church to the east which Cane described as being the source of all evil. The briefly see Cane who sicks his dogs on angry townspeople who claim that Cane turned their children evil. Trent thinks this is all a publicity stunt and refuses to believe what is happening. Soon, even stranger events occur as people, including Styles, mutate into hideous monsters. Trent tries to escape, but is caught in an endless loop, always returning to Hobb's End. Cane finishes writing his new novel and after reading it, Styles goes insane. Cane gives his novel to Trent so he can distribute his mind-altering masterpiece to the world. What is reality and what is fiction and will Trent be able to stop Sutter Cane?

Taking the Elephant Walk to strange, new places

When movies decide to mess with reality and the audience's perception, they run the risk of being utterly confusing. In The Mouth Of Madness has enough action and scary looking monsters to hide the fact that the story is all over the place. It's essentially a story within a story within a story. Just writing that makes my head hurt. To make matters worse, the story is mostly told in flashback. The story is fairly entertaining, the parts you can follow anyway. The way the story bounces around and messes with the characters can be confusing and tiresome by the end. It's funny how the movie precedes the rabid fans of Harry Potter,Twilight, and now Fifty Shades Of Gray. It can best be described as "Lovecraftian" with it's focus on hideous creatures and man's helplessness to their whims. In The Mouth Of Madness is part of Carpenter's "Apocalypse Trilogy" and fans of The Thing and Prince Of Darkness will appreciate how good the monsters in the film look. They are a heaving mass of twisted and distorted flesh with realistic features and movements. The movie does have it's physical as well as psychological scary moments. The ending is fairly depressing, though the inexplicable rock music over the credits might have you believe otherwise. Carpenter does the music for the rest of the film, giving scenes the proper atmosphere they deserve.

I don't think I've seen a movie with such a big difference in acting quality from the lead to the main support. Sam Neill is great and that's no surprise. He's entertaining in just about everything he does. He gives John Trent the cool confidence needed in the beginning as he is the audience's "eyes" so to speak. We are just as skeptical as he is when he visits Hobb's End. His terror and slow descent into madness is both believable and unsettling. Though he's not in the movie a whole lot, Jurgen Prochnow is quite entertaining as the god-like Sutter Cane. The scene where he appears next to Trent on a bus, telling him his favorite color is blue is very well executed. The problem lies with Julie Carmen. Plain and simple, she is just not good. She just played her part all wrong and really brought down the quality of the film. John Carpenter brings his usual style to the film, capturing some great monster scenes and a lot of emotion.

Gimme a "T"!

Overall, In The Mouth Of Madness is a fun horror movies with some hard-to-ignore flaws. The story is all over the place and may be hard for people to focus on. That's what happens when you have a movie all about twisting reality. The monster look great and their are some genuinely scary scenes, but it's not really enough to get past the meandering story. Sam Neill and Jurgen Prochnow are both very good in their roles, but Julie Carmen is just terrible. If you enjoy John Carpenter's previous work or H.P. Lovecraft, you should be able to enjoy In The Mouth Of Madness for what it is: a mind-bending monster movie.

7/10

Day 298: The Call Of Cthulhu

The Call Of Cthulhu

Nice try, Cthulhu. I have Caller ID!

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn." To most people, that previous sentence looks like a word salad jammed into a sentence smoothee. For those, like me, who love the work of H.P. Lovecraft, that is probably one of the most famous lines in all of horror literature. The line comes from the Lovecraft story of the same name, the most popular and well known of all his work. Despite being a master of horror, Lovecraft's work has never been faithfully transitioned to the big screen. Hollywood can't seem to wrap their heads around his work and yet M. Night Shyamalan continues to get work. Sometimes you have to step out of the bright lights of La La Land in order to get to the real heart of a story and give it the love and attention it deserves.

The Call Of Cthulhu is a 2005 independent black and white silent film based on the story by H.P. Lovecraft (Pickman's Model, The Case Of Charles Dexter Ward). An unnamed man sits in a mental hospital, warning his doctor that something horrible is going to occur. The man relates the story of how he came to possess such knowledge. His grand uncle, George Gammell Angell, a professor at Brown University, had been treating a young man suffering from horrible dreams. Angell takes extensive notes until the man's death. In 1908, Angell and a group of other antiquarians gather at the American Archaeological Society in St. Lous, Missouri. John Raymond Legrasse, a police officer from New Orleans, produces a strange looking idol and asks the group of professors if they had seen anything like it. The statuette is of a hideous looking monster with wings and unearthly tentacles on it's face. While most are baffled, one eye-patched man, recognizes it and recalls when he was on an expedition and was attacked by an “Esquimaux”. He identifies the statue as “Cthulhu”. Officer Legrasses explains that the statuette came into his possession during a raid in the swamps of Louisiana. The police raided a ritual being performed by a cult who were praying to someone or something named “Cthulhu”. One prisoner is taken into custody and explains that Cthulhu is one of the Old Gods who now sleeps in the forgotten undersea city of R'lyeh. The cult is praying to Cthulhu and waiting for him to awaken from his slumber when the stars are right. After his granduncle's death, the man now in the hospital, read through his notes and became obsessed with Cthulhu, putting together all the different pieces from the story. He finds a news clipping that talks of the ship Emma which encountered the yacht Alert. Something horrible happened on that ship and only one sailor from the Emma survived. The man travels to New Zealand and then Norway in search of the sailor, only to discover that he has died. He does receive the man's diary which explains how the crew of the Emma landed on a strange and dangerous island. Who or what is on the island and does Cthulhu actually exist?

"That's the last time I eat White Castle before going to bed!"

Without a doubt, The Call Of Cthulhu is probably the best adaptation of Lovecraft's work to make it to the screen. The main reason why is works so well is because it is very faithful to the original work. Other Lovecraft adaptations like The Resurrected and The Dunwich Horror are changed around to fit a budget, or capabilities, or just because some filmmakers are lazy. Many in the past have claimed that The Call of Cthulhu story is “unfilmable,” but this movie proves the naysayers wrong. While not having a particularly large budget, director/producer Andrew Leman (The Whisperer In Darkness, A Shoggoth on the Roof: The Documentary) manages to make the most out of this lofty story through various filming and writing tricks. The movie is portrayed as being from the silent era of film and it works to the movie's advantage. Care is taken to have the film look aged and the music fits perfectly. The black and white footage allows for clothes and sets to be any color and very little makeup is needed for actors. By being silent, there's no need to worry about actors flubbing lines or audio editing. Since the movie has no speaking, the actors have to work that much harder to get across emotion and they all do a good job. How does one show the enormous and monstrous-looking Cthulhu? How about good old-fashioned claymation and perspective shots.

If there is one complaint with the movie is that it's too short. It clocks in at around 45 minutes which is a shame because it is so enjoyable. By having such a short run time, the story does feel rushed at times. While not Lovecraft's longest story, it is complex with many different parts fitting into the overarching Cthulhu story. A few too many details are crammed in and for those who are not familiar with the original story, the story may be a bit confusing. There are a few changes from the original story, but nothing significant to completely change the story. The claymation used for Cthulhu is just OK and some may even be disappointed. We only get a few brief shots and it does keep with the “era” that the movie is supposed to be from. To be fair, it's difficult to create a giant, winged god with tentacles on it's face. There is a bit of action, but no blood or gore to speak of, which is perfectly fine. The story has a traditional horror feel and it ends on the proper down-note.

Collect the whole set

With enough effort and love, just about anything can be created. While Lovecraft stories may not be the easiest to reproduce on the big screen, The Call Of Cthulhu proves it is not impossible. The story is translated well which keeps the hardcore Lovecraft fans happy while giving non-fans a good introduction to his work. By making the movie into a black and white silent film, they are able to create a unique viewing experience that most people have never seen. It also helps that doing so kept costs down. The sets look great and the expressive acting makes you forget there are no speaking roles. If you're a fan of Lovecraft or just want to see something unique, definitely check out The Call of Cthulhu.

9/10

Day 264: The Resurrected

The Resurrected

Is this a horror movie or an antacid advertisement?

H.P. Lovecraft is one of my favorite writers. His ability to craft creative horror and science fiction that is still scary almost 100 years later is second to none. For whatever reason, almost every adaptation of his work on the big screen is terrible. Some movies draw strongly from the source material and some use the basic premise, but the end result is usually the same: horrendous movies. It's also not uncommon for a movie to use Lovecraft's name and his titles only to trick people into watching their celluloid bowel movement. The Tomb is a perfect example of this act. I'll never understand why it's so difficult to make a good movie based on H.P. Lovecraft's work. Maybe it's because I have such high expectations and I'm setting myself up for disappointment. What better way to explore this theory than by watching a movie I didn't initially know was a Lovecraft adaptation?

The Resurrected is a 1992 direct-to-video horror movie adapted from the H.P. Lovecraft short story “The Case Of Charles Dexter Ward”. Directed by Dan O'Bannon (Alien, The Return Of The Living Dead), the movie stars John Terry (Full Metal Jacket, 24) as private investigator John Marsh. The movie is told mostly in flashback from Marsh's recollection. John is hired by Claire Ward (Jane Sibbett, Friends, The Second Arrival) to look into the increasingly strange behavior of her husband, Charles Dexter Ward (Chris Sarandon, Dog Day Afternoon, Child's Play). Charles has moved from his spacious house in Providence, Rhode Island to a small bungalow in the rural Pawtuxet Valley region. He receives deliveries of long, wooden crates at all hours of the night and is very secretive of it's contents. The deliveries are followed by the overpowering stench of rotting meat or animal carcasses. Charles also begins to surround himself with undesirables, including the mysterious Dr. Ashe. Claire tells John that Charles had recently inherited the belongings of a long-dead relative named Joseph Curwen. Curwen was a shipping magnate and alchemist in the 1700's, eventually earning the reputation as a grave robber. Through his research, Curwen was able to unlock the secrets of immortality with the usage of “essential saltes” and fresh corpses. Charles' personality has changed so much that he now speaks in an antiquated style and is eventually committed to an insane asylum. John, along with Claire and his partner Lonnie, break into the bungalow and discover and underground laboratory which is filled with the ashes of other known occultists and alchemists. It is revealed that Curwen has in fact come back to life as Dr. Ashe and intends to bring back others. Along with the lab, there are a series of tunnels and the group encounter hideous half-human monsters and abominations, including one that kills Lonnie. How will John be able to stop the resurrected Curwen and is it too late to save the true Charles Dexter Ward?

Today's weather: Partly cloudy with a chance of grease

Initially, I didn't know The Resurrected was going to be an H.P. Lovecraft story. It became pretty obvious once the story took place in Rhode Island (a Lovecraft staple) and the name “Charles Ward” was mentioned. Of course, this raises the question, “Why did they not just named the movie 'The Case of Charles Dexter Ward'?” I, along with other Lovecraft fans, would have discovered this movie much sooner if the connection was more obvious. The title “The Resurrected” is fine, but it's so generic that it could be about anything. I mean, “The Resurrected” is probably the name of a local metal band. Or hardcore band. Or punk band. See what I mean? As far as Lovecraft adaptations go, this movie actually fairs better than most other attempts. It's updated to the early 90's (which is apparent in the furniture, clothes, and greasy “professional” mullets) with some extra characters and situations added, but it's essentially the same story. Lovecraft himself didn't like the story and it was published posthumously, but I enjoy it immensely. The original story has a good mixture of mystery and suspense with a healthy dose of old-fashioned horror. The film version fairs well-enough in trying to incorporate all of these elements into a cohesive film. One funny thing I noticed in the movie is when John tells someone that he drove two hours to get from Providence to Pawtuxet Valley. In reality, it's about a 15 minute drive and the area is neither rustic nor remote. When Lovecraft wrote the story, that might have been more true, but today it's a silly mistake. It was also disappointing to see that the movie was actually filmed in British Columbia and not actually in Rhode Island.

Despite having an obviously low budget, The Resurrected manages to use some pretty good special effects and makeup. I was actually surprised at how good some of the monsters looked in the movie as the prosthetics look quite scary. There is also a good amount of blood and gore which was completely unexpected. Despite writing scary stories, Lovecraft's work was never particularly gruesome or graphic. The problem is that these scenes are too few and far between. The movie is about 20 minutes too long and tends to drag in the beginning. For this type of story, a fast, steady pace would have been better than the slow drips we got. The acting is decent, but some of the dialogue is too cheesy for me to handle. Chris Sarandon puts on the best performance in The Resurrected, but not until about halfway through when his personality changes. It's a whole lot of scenery chewing, but in a fun way, and fits in well with the new character. I do question why they set the movie in modern times when they competently show flashbacks to pre-Revolutionary times. I think the movie would have had a more authentic horror feel if it had taken place in the early 1900's instead of the 1990s.

"Does my throat look red? It feels sore."

The Resurrected is a decent adaptation from a lesser-known H.P. Lovecraft story. While it may not be the first Lovecraft movie that deserves a shot at the big screen, it is a fun and exciting story, that in the right hands, could have been great. The movie has some good moments, mostly from gory violence and good prosthetic work. The pacing is a little slow and the movie runs about 20 minutes too long. Chris Sarandon is great with the rest of the cast pulling up the rear. If you're a Lovecraft fan, you'll enjoy the references and effort, but may be disappointed in the end product. Still, The Resurrected isn't a bad watch and some may enjoy it as a starting point to get into Lovecraft's work.

6/10

Day 161: Re-Animator

Re-Animator

Want a sip of my orange soda?

Why is it so hard to translate H.P. Lovecraft's stories to the big screen? There are plenty of stories with enough horror to terrify audiences for years, but for some reason, most movies adapted from Lovecraft's work are terrible. Granted, the stories need some updating if they're set in modern times and not everything will translate well, but those are small hurdles. Those reasons are certainly not enough to keep Hollywood from cranking out movies. Why haven't we seen a blockbuster Call of Cthulhu or The Rats In The Walls? We were supposed to get At The Mountains of Madness from Guillermo del Torro, but that looks like it will never happen. In the meantime, we have to suffer through terrible “adaptations” like The Tomb. At least we have Re-Animator.

Re-Animator is a 1985 cult classic starring Jeffrey Combs as Herbert West (Feardotcom, House On Haunted Hill) and Bruce Abbott (The Prophecy II, Bride of Re-Animator) as Dan Cain. It is based off the short story “Herbert West – Reanimator” by H.P. Lovecraft. Herbert West, a student at the Zurich University Institute of Medicine in Switzerland, successfully reanimated the dead corpse of his professor, Dr. Hans Gruber. Unfortunately the dosage is too high and Gruber dies due to horrific side-effects. West travels to Miskatonic University in Massachusetts to further his studies and research. He rents a room from Dan Cain, a fellow student who is dating Megan, the daughter of the dean of Miskatonic, Dean Haley. Animosity grows between West and his professor, Dr. Carl Hill (David Gale, The First Power, Bride of Re-Animator), over the concept of brain death, with West accusing Hill of plagiarizing Hans Gruber. West is able to convince Dan of his ability to reanimate corpses by bringing Dan's cat back to life, albeit with a far more aggressive and erratic demeanor. Dean Haley hears of their experiments and bans them from school. They sneak into the morgue and continue their experiments, successfully reanimating a human being. The zombie is violent and incoherent, thrashing both West and Cain. Dean Haley walks down to the morgue and is killed by the zombie before West can kill it. They inject Haley with the reagent, bringing him back from the dead, but without coherence or sanity. Haley is committed and despite Megan's wishes, Dr. Hill performs a lobotomy on him. Hill then goes to West's basement lab, where he blackmails him for his notes and reagent serum. Enraged, West decapitates him with a shovel and administers the reagent to Hill's head and body. The reanimated body knocks West out, grabs Hill's head, and realizes Dean Haley from his cell. Seemingly under Hill's control, Haley kidnaps his daughter Megan and brings her to the morgue where Hill has been injecting corpses. Will Dan and West be able to save Megan and stop the zombies?

Grrrrr....RUFF RUFF RUFF!

I'm a big fan of H.P. Lovecraft, so I was excited to see a popular horror movie based on his work. Unfortunately, the movie is very, very loosely based on his work. Some of the character's names and some places are the same, but a lot of the original story is left out. Sure there's reanimation and some nods to the work, such as the headless zombie and the violent rages, but not too much beyond that. Lovecraft considered his story to be rather poor and was written as a parody of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Despite a tenuous grasp on the source material, Re-Animator is still a fun horror movie with plenty of shocks and loads of gory violence. There is plenty of action throughout with lots of blood and gruesome shots. It's a zombie movie in the sense that dead bodies have come back to life, but it's not the traditional cinematic zombie genre. No brain eating or shots to the head, but that's not the purpose of the story anyway. The makeup used throughout the movie is excellent with lots of detail to wounds and body parts. To get a sense of how gory the film is, 24 gallons of blood were used in the movie. 24 gallons!

The acting is pretty good throughout. Jeffrey Combs is very good as the frantic Herbert West. On slight problem I had was in the beginning he had an accent and towards the end he lots it. Maybe it was just my ears deceiving me. David Gale puts in a surprisingly good performance as the villainous Dr. Hill. He goes from jerk to maniacal super villain quickly, but flawlessly. I was concerned with the famous scene involving Megan and Dr. Hill, and while it's certainly not for younger eyes, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Still, it was kind of ridiculous and really didn't need to be in the movie. Beyond that, the story moves at a good pace and never drags. There is a good sense of horror and fear throughout, both physically and psychologically. The fantastic music by Richard Band is a big reason why the movie has a constant creepiness to it. I could listen to that score all day.

You're going to feel a slight Ecto-Cooler Hi-C sensation

H.P. Lovecraft fans will be disappointed with the adaptation shown in Re-Animator. Beyond a few names and a basic idea, the movie really doesn't have much in common with the short story. It's unfortunate because the story could have easily been turned into a movie. Despite this, Re-Animator is still a good story with loads of violence and blood. There is plenty of action and horror to keep the audience entertained and terrified. The acting is good and the music is great. Other than a few little nitpicks and “that scene,” I thoroughly enjoyed Re-Animator. Check it out if you get the chance.

8.5/10

Day 116: H.P. Lovecraft's The Tomb

H.P. Lovecraft's The Tomb

No, bullshit will lure you in

I really enjoy H.P. Lovecraft's work. I'm such a fan that I even visited his grave. The first story I ever read by him was The Rats In The Walls and I was legitimately spooked by the end. There's something about his brand of horror and science fiction that has an ageless quality to it. His worked has lead to the creation of the Cthulhu mythos (modern writers building a universe based off his works), video games, and movies. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, his works have not translated well on film. There are a few exceptions (check out my review of Dreams In The Witch-House), but overall the movies based off his stories are just not good. There has been talk of Guillermo Del Toro working on Lovecraft's “At The Mountains Of Madness,” but it is mired in studio and creative trouble. In the meantime, there's Ulli Lommel's (Zombie Nation, Zodiac Killer) movie The Tomb.

The original short story tells the tale of Jervas Dudley who sneaks into a mausoleum belonging to the Hyde family. He begins to sleep inside a tomb bearing the name of Jervas Hyde. He is unaware that he is being spied on and against his better judgment, goes to the tomb on a stormy night. He sees that the old Hyde mansion restored to it's former state and joins a party going on inside. Lightning strikes the mansion and Jervas loses consciousness. He is awoken by men working for his father and brought home. There he finds an antique box with a porcelain figure inside bearing a striking resemblance to Jervis and the initials J.H. Jervas becomes obsessed with the crypt and begins to lose his sanity. 

Even H.P. Lovecraft couldn't make a movie so terrifyingly bad

The movie follows a bald man and a blonde woman (Victoria Ullman) are trapped inside some sort of warehouse by a shrouded killer. They discover various other people trapped in the warehouse who have all been tortured and die shortly after we are introduced to them. The scenes are interspersed with cuts of a masked person riding a horse for some reason. The blonde and the man try to escape the warehouse. How are they all connected and who is this mysterious killer?

If you couldn't tell, the movie has noting to do with Lovecraft's short story. Nothing. Not a fucking thing. It's flat out wrong to include Lovecraft's name in this visual and mental trainwreck. It's a cheap trick to get people to watch a movie that would languish at the bottom of the $1 bin at the Dollar General. The story just that its such a confusing nonsensical mess that I can barely explain what is going on. It's as if someone watched Saw, took out all the good parts and puked on the camera used to shoot this abomination. The acting is downright horrendous. I've seen better performances by schizophrenics on a New York subway. It's not like the have much to work with because of the inane dialogue given to them. 

Cute puppies will lessen my rage at this movie

Lommel wasn't content with writing this piece of shit, but felt the need to bring his assness (if that's not a word, it should be) to the director's chair. Scenes are too dark and the sets a woefully cheap. I guess it's technically set in a tomb, but it looks like a half empty warehouse or beneath the bleachers of a local high school. Scenes jump too often with unnecessary and confusing shots. There's some violence, but its just so incredibly stupid that I can't even enjoy it. The ending is so confused and moronic that I am actually insulted for having watched this. It's like they said “Congratulations, you sat through this putrid pile of fuck, here's an ending so terrible you'll actually lose a few IQ points.”

The Tomb is so bad, I actually stopped two teenagers from getting it. If you like H.P. Lovecraft, I beg you not to watch this. If you like good stories, do not watch this. If you like good acting, or directing, or action, do not watch this. I would rather sit through a 24 hour marathon of Battlefield:Earth than watch this again. I would rather sleep on a bed of angry porcupines and use fire ants as a blanket than watch this again. I would rather have a naked jello wrestling match with Rush Limbaugh after he swallowed an entire bottle of Viagara and Siracha than watch this again. Fuck this movie with the power of a thousand suns.

-1/10

Day 27: Masters of Horror: Dreams In The Witch-House

Masters of Horror: Dreams In The Witch-House

Who's house? The Witch's house!

H.P. Lovecraft is one of my favorite authors. I'm such a fan that I have even visited his grave site in Providence, RI. He is one of the few writers that transcends time in his ability to scare people with his work. His stories create unique and creepy worlds that many try to duplicate, but none can match. You would think with such great stories and an already built-in fan base, we'd be overwhelmed with great Lovecraft-inspired stories. Unfortunately, there are not many Lovecraftian movies and most are just not that good. I was cautiously optimistic when I started to watch Masters of Horror: Dreams In The Witch-House.

Dreams In The Witch-House follows the story of graduate student Walter Gillman, played by Ezra Godden (Dagon, Band of Brothers). Walter, who is studying inter-dimensional string theory, rents a room in an old, run-down boarding house in Massachusetts. Walter is plagued by bizarre, otherworldly dreams that include a human-faced rat and an old witch. As he gets closer to completing his thesis, the dreams grow more intense and Walter can swear that they are actually happening. What do the dreams actually mean and what does the witch want with Walter?

Edgar Winter looks great

I have read Lovecraft's “Dreams In The Witch-House,” so I had a pretty good idea of what to expect. The movie is fairly loyal to the overall story, but adds a few things. The movie is set in modern times, which is disappointing because it was unnecessary. Another unnecessary addition was a female love interest for Walter. I know a love interest is needed in movies, but the story was perfectly fine having none. Though, the nudity was a small bonus. Ultimately, the story is still the same, but since I already knew the story, I was disappointed to see changes.

The cast does a fine acting job and director Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator, From Beyond) knows his Lovecraft. Gordon does a good job of creating a creepy and sinister atmosphere. The effects are good, but the human-faced rat, Brown Jenkins, looks very silly. I guess its hard to make him look scary, but fully CGI creature would have been better than a real person's face superimposed on a rat body. There are some creepy and unsettling moments, enough to keep your average horror fan happy.

Nothing ridiculous about this. Nothing at all

Dreams In The Witch-House is a fun movie based on a great story by a fantastic writer. There are plans to make a movie based on Lovecraft's story “At The Mountains of Madness.” If you are new to H.P. Lovecraft, this movie is a great starting off point. Good directing and acting, solid pacing, and a great atmosphere really help bring the story to life. There are some unnecessary additions for the movie crowd that were not in the original story, so if you're a purist, you may be disappointed. Otherwise, you're in for a good viewing.

7.5/10