Day 300: They Live

They Live

Cue Yello's "Oh Yeah"

As I've said in other reviews, I'm not one for conspiracy theories. I don't believe that the Freemasons or The Bildeburgs or the Girl Scouts Of America are planning a takeover of the world. If people can barely get your order right at the drive-thru, how can there be a global conspiracy to control money or power or whatever you want. That's not to say the average person isn't kept down through various means, I just don't think there's a few guys in an underground liar scheming to make me buy blue jeans or listen to that Gangnam-style song. But things are not always what they seem. What if there was some one, or some thing, suppressing the human race? Would you stop it? Could you stop it?

They Live is a 1988 science fiction/horror movie directed and written (under a pseudonym) by John Carpenter (Halloween, The Thing). The movie stars “Rowdy” Roddy Piper ( WWF/WWE Superstar, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia) as unemployed drifter John Nada. Nada finds work doing construction in Los Angeles and befriends Frank Armitage (Keith David, Barbershop, The Thing). While at a shantytown, Nada notices strange activity at a nearby church, and when he investigates, he discovers the church is actually a front, as the only thing in the church are boxes. That night, the police raid the town, beating on the homeless and knocking over their dwellings. When Nada returns the next morning, he finds one of the boxes from the church. Inside the box are sunglasses and Nada takes a pair. When he puts them on, the world suddenly becomes black and white. He can now view messages that are unseen to the naked eye all over the city. Messages like “Sleep” “Consume” and “Buy”. These messages of conformity and consumerism are controlling the population. Even more disturbing, Nada is now able to see that certain people, mostly those in positions of wealth and power, are in fact humanoid aliens. When he confronts an alien woman she speaks into her watch, notifying others that he can see her true form. Two policemen try to stop Nada, but he kills them, taking their guns and going on a killing spree at a nearby bank. He escapes the police and takes Holly Thompson (Meg Foster, The Lords Of Salem, Leviathan), an assistant director at television station Channel 54, hostage. While suffering from headaches due to wearing the sunglasses for too long, he tries to convince Holly about what is truly going on. During an intense headache, Holly kicks Nada out of a window, sending him down a hill. He stumbles back to the alley where he found the glasses and meets with Fred. He tries to convince Fred about the aliens and when Fred refuses to put on the glasses, they get into a fight. After the long fist fight, Fred finally wears the glasses and understands what is really happening. They join members from the “church” who are really an underground resistance planning to take down the aliens. The aliens use a signal from Channel 65 to camouflage themselves and it's up to Nada and Fred to destroy it. How will they be able to get in and destroy the signal, freeing the world from the alien's grasp?

Where's your Hulkamania now?

They Live is a really fun science fiction movie with just enough horror to keep things scary. While most alien invasion movies take place during (or slightly before) the invasion, it's already happened in this movie. There is no warning that they are coming, no giant space ship to announce their arrival, and no explosions to show their dominance. They are already in charge when the story begins. Reflecting the political and social climate of the times, Carpenter manages to capture the hopelessness of the average man who has no work or self-worth, hence the name “Nada”. The alien villains are the rich and powerful, using their wealth and status to keep the poor humans down. The secret messages to consume and stay complacent are chilling to see, opening the audience's eyes to real world advertising. I can see where certain types (*cough*Conservatives*cough*) may take issue with such commentary, but it's just subtle enough where the theme doesn't dominate the movie. There is a good amount of action throughout, which helps break up the overall message as well.

Roddy Piper may seem like an odd choice for a protagonist in a movie like They Live, but he is spot-on perfect in his role. He's a great mixture of brash attitude, charisma, and broken-down everyman that just fits so well for the character of John Nada. The famous line “I'm here to chew bubble gum and kick as...and I'm all out of bubble gum,” was a Piper original, not something from the script. Keith David is very good in his role as well. No amount of description can do justice to the incredibly long fight scene between both men. Rather than a quick scuffle or a cutaway, we see every punch, every tackle, and every crotch kick. South Park lovingly recreated this scene a few years ago, down to every punch thrown. This is also where Piper fits in well as his wrestling experience makes his physicality believable. John Carpenter is in his element as writer and director, crafting a fun movie with lots of action and just enough creepiness to make the audience uneasy. 

I knew the Golden Girls were skull-faced alien fascists!

They Live is a politically subversive movie with a good mixture of science fiction, horror, and action. While not a financial success, the movie's message and impact is still felt today. While the message is heavy, it's broken up nicely between the action and suspense. Roddy Piper is great and highly entertaining to watch. The movie has it's funny moments along with it's thrilling ones. The skull-like makeup for the aliens looks very good and certainly increases the horror aspect. John Carpenter manages to create a fun movie with plenty of social commentary. I'm surprised They Live has not been remade, but I'm glad it hasn't yet. No need to mess with something so fun.

9/10

Day 299: Stake Land

Stake Land

Hamburger Town

The zombie apocalypse vein of horror stories has become well-worn in recent years. Thanks to the popularity of Left 4 Dead, 28 Days Later and The Walking Dead, just about everyone knows what a zombie outbreak would look like. As much as I love the genre, it's been done to death. It's in television, movies, books, video games, and even on t-shirts. This poses the problem for writers and filmmakers. How do we have a zombie apocalypse without being a zombie apocalypse? Take out the zombies and put in vampires! Problem solved!

Stake Land is a 2010 vampire movie starring Nick Damici (Mulberry St, World Trade Center) as the enigmatic Mister and Connor Paolo (Gossip Girl, Revenge) as Martin. A wave of vampires has spread across the world as humans try to save themselves. The government has fallen and only small towns remain. A young man named Martin is saved by the vampire hunter Mister after a vampire kills his family. Mister trains Martin to kill vampires, explaining that guns hurt them, but stakes to the heart kill them. They travel through America's heartland on the way to the supposed safe-haven of New Eden in Canada. The visit small towns where people are still trying to live their lives amidst the carnage. One day, a nun runs in front of their car, pursued by two men in robes. Mister kills the two men and the nun, only known as Sister (Kelly McGillis, Top Gun, The Innkeepers), joins Mister and Martin on their journey. They stop in one seemingly-abandoned town only to be captured by members of The Brotherhood, a Christian cult, that has been taking over the country through violence. Their leader, Jebedia Loven (Michael Cerveris, The Vampire's Assistant, Fringe), reveals that one of the men that Mister had killed was his son. Mister is left in front of vampires in the woods while Martin and Sister are taken back to camp. Loven allows Martin to leave, who manages to find Mister still alive. They continue to make their way when they pick up another traveler, a pregnant girl named Belle (Danielle Harris, Halloween II, Left For Dead) and a marine named Willie (Sean Nelson, The Freebie, The Wood). They return to where The Brotherhood was camped and Mister leaves Loven to be eaten by vampires. The group manages to find Sister in a small town, but the Brotherhood drops vampires into the town via helicopter. How will Mister and Martin survive and will they ever reach New Eden?

I prefer my steak medium well, not stuffed into a vampire's mouth

Before I get into things like the acting and violence in the movie, I have to address two very big plot devices: Politics and Religion. The movie has a huge Libertarian bent to it, to the point where they might as well be smacking the audience in the face with a copy of Atlas Shrugged. I don't buy into the cult of Ayn Rand and Ron Paul, so having to sit through a movie where a) the government folds faster than Superman on laundry day, b) towns and villagers still exist through self-regulation and C) everyone is thrilled that the government is gone is downright silly. The world may be coming to an end, but everyone is thrilled to have their guns, liquor, and drugs. If the movie had been subtle about this, it wouldn't have been such a big sticking point, but there's nothing subtle about Stake Land. That brings me to my second point on religion. Just like with libertarians, I am no fan of the fanatical Christian Right. Making the villains (besides the vampires) into religious zealots is fine, but making them specifically evil Christians came off as a bit vindictive. Combine that with the character of Sister giving her cross to Martin, carrying around a mini figure of Mary, and then pairing it with a mini Jesus and I've had my fill. The least subtle moment of the movie comes when Sister runs into a skeleton literally crucified in a corn field. Subtley is a virtue and Stake Land takes that virtue out back and clubs it in the head with a shovel. There is even a scene where a bartender tells Mister that they don't talk about politics or religion inside the bar. Oh that's good because you're so busy doing that for the other 96 minutes of the movie. Look, I appreciate social commentary in horror movies, but there is a certain way to get your points across without coming off the like a propaganda film.

The story, written by Nick Damici and director Jim Mickle, plays out like every other zombie apocalypse film and just replaces the zombies with vampires. It's never explained why the vampire plague started or where they came from, which I found annoying. At least give me some hints. Characters just kind of drop in and drop out with very little in the way of development. A new character is introduced as Martin's love interest literally 7 minutes before the film ends. What the hell? And really, did you have to name the one African American character “Willie”? The final battle scene, which you'd expect to be long and drawn out, takes about 4 minutes to finish. I will say that the movie did have a lot of good action with plenty of bloody violence. The acting is good and the Jim Mickle crafts a good-looking and atmospheric movie. The location scout deserves credit as many of the scenes look straight out of an apocalypse. There are lots of abandoned buildings and worn-out backgrounds which are fun to see. 

SUBTLETY!!!!

The action and violence in Stake Land is perfectly fine. It's entertaining and thrilling to watch and would make horror fans squeal with bloody glee. The acting and direction isn't the problem either. It's the slanted writing with an obvious agenda that really gets to me. I hate the politics and don't enjoy having it slap me in the face. There are no anti-Christian overtones, just anti-Christian tones. If these two themes had been subtle and cleverly written, it wouldn't be such a big deal. There is nothing subtle about this movie though and it makes everything that much worse. There plenty of holes in the story, and issues throughout, like “if Martin is being trained, why can he never kill a vampire?” If you're able to ignore things things like this, you'll really enjoy Stake Land. If you're like me, you'll be annoyed and frustrated at a movie that couldn't just leave well enough alone and be a horror movie.

5/10

Day 109: Masters of Horror: Right To Die

Masters of Horror: Right To Die

Not a mummy movie

Creating stories “ripped from the headlines” seems like a pretty popular idea these days. CSI, Law and Order, and the million other crime and court shows love to do this. It gets people interested and, if we're being honest, it's easier than coming up with an original story. Creating a horror movie based off a real life events is a bit trickier, especially when the events are politically charged and divisive in nature. Could it at least be entertaining?

Masters of Horror: Right To Die stars Martin Donovan (Weeds, Saved!) as dentist Cliff Addison and Julia Benson as his wife Abby. On a deserted road, Cliff gets into a car accident and Abby is badly burned. In the hospital, Cliff is told that there is a procedure that will allow her to live, but she would not be able to take care of herself. He consults with his attorney, Ira, (Corbin Bernsen, Major League, L.A. Law) about her condition and is convinced to end her life. Cliff reveals that he had an affair with his dental assistant Trish and that Abby knew about it. Cliff hallucinates that he is having sex with Abby who then turns into her current burned form. Meanwhile, Abby briefly died in real life and Cliff appeared to have a strange burn mark on his skin. Abby's mother arrives at Cliff's house and tells him that she will not let him end Abby's life and that he will never get her money. While a public fight breaks out over the right to life and right to death, Cliff continues to have strange hallucinations involving Abby. Cliff eventually wins the decision to let Abby die within 48 hours. Ira goes to the hospital and thanks Abby for allowing him to win lots of money off her death. He walks into an MRI room and a mysterious force turns the machine on. The metal on his body starts to pull him apart when Abby's spirit appears and sets him on fire. Cliff puts out the fire and then publicly offers the money from the settlement to anyone who can provide skin for Abby's transplant. Will that be enough to save Abby and more importantly, save Cliff from Abby's spirit?

Snap into a Slim Jim

If it wasn't obvious, Right To Die relies heavily on the right to die case of Terri Schiavo. That heavily politicized incident still has ramifications today. If you type “Terri” into Google, her name is the first to come up. Does something so personal and political make for a fun horror movie? No, not really. It's one thing to have your horror movie “based on actual events” like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is very loosely based on Ed Gein, it's another to have your movie literally based on actual events. It's kind of like having a horror movie based on the Trayvon Martin killing. Too soon, too political, and it's something that we do not to continuously relive. As for the actual movie, the way the story is told is a bit stunted as we only find out more of the story at the very end, thus negating most of our conceptions of the previous 50 minutes.

Another problem is that they make Cliff too likable. He cheated on his wife, got her into an accident, and can't decide if he wants to take her off life support. All of this and they still manage to not make him come off as a terrible person. This is supposed to be some sort of supernatural revenge movie and the audience is conflicted with cheering for Abby and cheering for him. The acting is decent enough throughout, with Corbin Bernsen putting in his typical Corbin Bernsen performance. If you've seen Major League or really anything else he's done, you know what I'm talking about. There are some decent horror scenes, violence, and nudity, so you'll have plenty to look at. The makeup on Abby is pretty realistic and the team involved should be commended for making her look so gross and beef jerky-like.

"I should have stayed with the Cleveland Indians!"

Making a horror movie out of a sad and divisive news story makes me feel all types of uncomfortable. Add that to a pretty boring story and you're not in for a good time. There's some action and horror, but nothing spectacular. The acting and directing are fine and there's enough nudity and sex to make you think twice before seeing this with young people. Overall, Right To Die is not a must-watch.

4/10

Day 107: The Host

The Host

With the most

We're going international for this day's edition of 365 Days of Horror. South Korea to be exact. Why Japan has hogged the spotlight for Asian horror, South Korea really raised the bar with this monster movie. A mixture of science fiction, horror, slapstick, and heart-felt emotion make The Host a film to be reckoned with.

The Host (also known as Gwoemul) tells the story of a dysfunctional Korean family. An American army scientist tells his Korean assistant to pour formaldehyde and other chemicals down the drain. The assistant warns him that the drain leads to the Han River, but the scientist doesn't care. Cut to a few years later and a giant mutated fish/tadpole creature now lives in the river. Park Gang-du works in a snack bar along the river with his father, Hee-bong. Gang-du has a young daughter named Hyun-seo, an alcoholic unemployed brother named Nam-il and medalist archer sister Nam-joo. Gang-do is a bit slow and sleeps a lot, but he loves his father and daughter. The creature emerges from the water, terrorizing and eating unsuspecting visitors. Gang-du and an American soldier fight the creature, but cannot stop it. Hyun-seo is grabbed by the creature and believed to have died. The family comes together at a memorial to mourn her death and are taken by the government for testing. They are believed to be infected with a virus from the creature and are isolated. Gang-du receives a late night cell phone call from Hyun-seo saying she is stuck in a large sewer somewhere. Gang-do tries to tell the police, but they do not believe him. The family escapes the treatment facility and begins to search the sewers from Hyun-seo. In their search, they encounter the beast and Hee-bong is killed while Gang-do is captured by police. Nam-il contacts a friend who is able to trace Hyun-seo's cell phone, but is pursued by people who want to turn him in for a reward. Gang-do is taken to another treatment facility where he overhears that that is no virus and both the American and Korean governments are perpetuating the myth. Gang-do receives a frontal lobotomy, but is able to escape afterwards. Will Gang-du, Nam-il and Nam-joo be able to say Hyun-seo and stop the monster?

I'd be running in the opposite direction

I truly believe that for a horror movie to be great, it needs to have social commentary and The Host has plenty of it. The movie hits on environmentalism, government distrust, conspiracies, chemical warfare, and government ineptitude. For example, the Korean government uses a chemical named “Agent Yellow” (a thinly-veiled reference to Agent Orange used in the Vietnam War). This is similar to the Japanese monster movies, such as Godzilla, Mothra, and Rodan. Like a good Romero movie, The Host gets the audience to question who the real villain is in the movie. The good thing about The Host is that it also includes humor and slapstick to keep the movie from plunging into political theater. There is always a concern that movies from another country will not translate well, especially for an American audience. While there are some cultural nuances and differences, you never feel lost or out of place while watching The Host.

The monster looks absolutely fantastic thanks to a few different teams involved with it's creation. It was designed by Chin Wei-chan, modeled by Weta Workshops, animatronics created by John Cox's Workshop, and the CGI was done by The Orphanage. Despite having a lot of horror chefs in the monster kitchen, the creature is both original and scary looking. Unlike many other monster films, the creature is seen very early in the film and has multiple scenes in broad daylight. The acting is very good throughout the film, with Song Kang-ho putting on a good performance as Gang-du. He is able to capture the both the humor and tragedy of his character very well. The supporting family cast also does a fine job of mixing drama and some comedy. The movie clocks in at close to 2 hours, so your are required to commit some time to watching it, but it never drags.

"Oh jeez, he's behind me, isn't he? Well, this is embarrassing!"

For my first Korean horror movie, I am so glad I chose to watch The Host. It is entertaining, exciting, scary, and funny. The political commentary is solid without ever being overly preachy or ham-fisted. The monster looks great, and despite having a limited budget, never looks particularly fake. Director Bong Joon-ho does a great job along with his actors in making a wide-ranging horror movie. Defintely see The Host if you get the chance. You won't regret it.

9.5/10

Day 80: Masters of Horror: Homecoming

Masters of Horror: Homecoming

Zombie eat brains, but zombie cannot swallow this tax hike

I'll be the first to admit that I don't read enough books. Most of the books I do read are usually sports-related, biographies and some H.P. Lovecraft material. I can't help it, I like what I like and I love television. To my surprise, Masters of Horror actually had made a movie out of one of the stories I have read, Homecoming. Ms. Meghan, who reviewed the movie “Suck” had purchased for me a zombie short story anthology entitled “The Living Dead” which featured the story Homecoming is based off of, “Death & Suffrage” by Dale Bailey. I really enjoyed the story, but would I enjoy seeing it come to life?

Told mostly in flashback, Homecoming focuses on the story of politico and speechwriter David Murch (Joe Tenney, The Stepfather, Free Willy 2). During a television appearance with the Ann Coulter-like Jane Cleaver (Thea Gill, Queer As Folk), David speaks with the mother of a deceased Iraq War veteran. In a strange moment where he recalls the memory of his dead veteran brother, David says that he wished her son could come back to tell us how important the war is to the country. After the show, David and Jane consummate their new relationship while David talks on the phone with the President's right-han man, the Karl Rove-eque Kurt Rand (Robert Picardo, The Howling, Gremlins 2). Rand wants to use David's line in an effort to boost his chances for reelection. David eventually gets his wish because soldiers killed in Iraq begin to rise out of their coffins and graves. It is revealed that the soldiers are unhappy with the war and plan to vote for anyone who will stop it. David, Jane, and Rand crank up the electoral machine and do everything in their power to save the election. Will they be able to help their President get reelected or will the zombies have their say?

They're not voting for Ron Paul, I can tell you that

I really enjoyed the short story “Death & Suffrage.” I studied politics in school and have an interest in current events, so I especially liked all the references to George W. Bush, Karl Rover and all the rest of the conservative mouthpieces that drummed up support for the war in Iraq and convinced the country that Bush deserved a second term. Homecoming does deviate a bit from the original story and not necessarily in a good way, particularly the ending. Thankfully, the movie does keep the essence of the short story, with the focus staying on the political and social commentary. It's certainly an important movie in terms of it's political significance.

Both Joe Tenney and Thea Gill do well in their roles as skeevy neo-cons trying to spin their way to a political victory. Robert Picardo is especially great as a skinnier Karl Rove. Director Joe Dante (The Howling, Gremlins) does a fine job with some good shots that will last in your memory. The makeup used on the zombies look good in the traditional zombie sense. The horror aspect in the movie, though, is minimal, though, so if you're looking for brain chomping and skin eating, you're going to be very disappointed. Homecoming is not so much a horror movie, as it is a political movie. There is some dark humor to keep morbid movie watchers entertained, but if you're not into politics, you may miss some of the jokes.

Ann Coulter prefers shooting people with handguns

Homecoming is a political movie that uses zombies to get it's point across, not a horror movie. If you aren't interested in politics, you may find yourself bored and uninspired. The acting is good and the references to real-life figures are with a few chuckles. Do yourself a favor and read “Death & Suffrage.” If you like it, check out Homecoming.

6/10