Day 294: The Wicker Man

The Wicker Man

From the makers of The Chia Pet

I never understood the saying “You need some of that old-time religion.” What exactly does that mean? If the speaker is referencing Jesus or Christianity, then they're way off. If you want to talk about “old-time religion” you better be referencing the god of the harvest a while wearing goat leggings and singing a jig in a long-dead language. The term pagan is thrown around a lot nowadays in reference to many different things, but it's important to remember that there are people still to this day that actually practice the “old-time religion”.

The Wicker Man is a 1973 British horror film starring Edward Woodward as Sergeant Neil Howie (Hot Fuzz, King David) and Christopher Lee (Lord Of The Rings, Dracula) as Lord Summerisle. Sergeant Howie receives an anonymous letter requesting his assistance in the case of a missing girl on the tiny isle of Summerisle. Howie must travel by small plane to get to the island and can only get to shore by rowboat. He begins asking the town people about the girl he is searching for, Rowan Morrison, but the all claim to never have heard of her. The people of the island have a strange way about them and it makes Howie, a devout Christian, incredibly uncomfortable. The sing songs about the harvest, have sex in open fields, discuss the importance of the phallic nature of the maypole, and use old forms of medicine. Howie stays at a local inn while continuing his investigation and notices photographs from the island's yearly harvest. Last year's photo is missing and he is told that someone accidentally broke it. At night, Howie is tempted by the innkeeper's daughter Willow (Britt Ekland, The Man With The Golden Gun, Satan's Mistress), but he refuses, explaining that he is a virgin and doesn't believe in sex before marriage. He travels to the school, where he discovers more evidence that Rowan Morrison did, in fact, live on the island. Howie speaks with the leader of the island, Lord Summerisle, about his investigation. Summerisle tells Howie of the islands history, explaining that his grandfather came to the island and developed a new strain of fruit that he believed could thrive in their climate. He instilled in the population the idea that if they prayed to the old gods, that the crops would grow and they would thrive. With the old ways also came sacrifices to the gods to ensure good crops. Howie discovers Rowan's grave and unearths her coffin only to discover a dead rabbit inside. He also finds that Rowan is in the missing picture of last year's harvest, standing amongst a poor crop. He believes that she will be sacrificed on May Day, which is tomorrow. Will Sergeant Howie be able to save her and is everything on Summerisle as it appears to be?

"As you can see, the Wicker Man is quite roomy and has a lovely view."

Ignore everything you heard about the horrendous remake of The Wicker Man that came out a few years ago starring Nicholas Cage. That movie is an abomination. Thankfully, the original Wicker Man is highly enjoyable thanks to it's great acting, solid writing, and fun mystery. The movie doesn't start out suspenseful, allowing the fear and anxiety to grow over time. Some movies are all suspense all the time and it wears out the audience. The Wicker Man takes it's time while still having an appropriate pace and surprises the audience without resorting to quick “jump at you” moments or gory violence. The audience gets sucked into the mystery of Rowan Morrison and follows along with Sergeant Howie as he traverses this strange island. The story is really, really good, never tipping it's hand until the final act when the movie truly becomes horror. The scene where Howie finally “meets” the wicker man is both terrifying and deflating as we know his fate.

While the story is very good, it's the acting in the movie that really makes it great. Edward Woodward represents the Christian world and, to a lesser extent, the audience. He epitomizes the term “stiff upper lip” trying to keep his composure in a a land full of strange customs and acts. Christopher Lee is equally great Lord Summerisle. While he and the rest of the people are technically the villagers, the conduct themselves with a smile, something that most horror movies do not do. This makes the movie very unnerving the horror that much scarier. They are true believers, committing acts that others would deem barbaric all in the hopes of having a good life. Throughout the movie, we hear various pagan songs from the people and admittedly they are very catchy. Christopher Lee is actually a classically-trained singer and his iconic voice sounds great in the movie. He actually released a symphonic metal metal album and a heavy metal album a few years back. It's not bad, but you have to watch this ridiculous music video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvKRbi2ovDY.

Touchdown!

The Wicker Man is occult horror without the flaming pentagrams and shouts to the devil. The movie doesn't require blood and gore or jump at you moments in order to be scary. The story has a great mixture of mystery and suspense that keeps the audience wanting to see more. The ending is fantastic and comes as quite a shock to the system without having to relying on a major twist. The acting is great with Christopher Lee and Edward Woodward putting in fantastic performances. The movie does bring up the power of religion and beliefs, but you can interpret that in however way you like. Wicker Man is a classic for a reason, but be sure to skip the remake. A “spiritual” sequel was released in 2011 and there is work on a third film entitled The Wrath Of The Gods. If you're thinking of checking those out, be sure to start with the original.

9/10

Day 293: Lo

Lo

On the Lo down

Love is a powerful thing. Not powerful enough for me to quote Meat Loaf or Whitesnake, but you get the idea. About 98% of all movies have a love interest and that includes horror movies. Of course, we'd never think of horror and romance mixing together as genres. Horror and comedy is widely accepted, but horror and romance is like water and oil to the majority of movie goers. That's not to say it can't be done and hasn't been done, it's just a very risky venture. You need a good mixture of horror along with the romance for it to work and it doesn't hurt to have an little something extra to keep things moving, like gore, or in today's movie's case, humor.

Lo is a 2009 romance/horror film written and directed by Travis Betz. Justin (Ward Roberts, MANswers, Sick Puppy) reads from a book that looks suspiciously like it is made of skin. He sits inside a pentagram inside his darkened apartment and calls forth a demon named Lo (Jeremiah Birkett, Homeland, Evan Almighty). Justin tells Lo that he has summoned him in order to find his girlfriend April (Sarah Lassez, Mad Cowgirl, The Wicked Within) who was dragged to Hell by a demon. Justin bears an inhuman claw mark on his chest as proof of the struggle. Lo brushes off Justin's demand, citing too many people being in Hell to find her, and begins to refer to him as “Dinner”. Undeterred, Justin orders him to find April and Lo accepts. He asks Justin to describe her and Lo projects the memory on a wall so he could watch as if Justin's memories were a play. April is awkward during their meeting and appears to make up her name on the spot. As the memory ends, Justin meets the demon who captured April, Jeez (Devin Barry, Crashing, Adam & Eve). Jeez tells Justin that he is there simply to see the “mortal who tamed the beast” and to see why “it” when in love with him. Jeez tells Justin, through song, of a demon birthed from the heart of dying soldier. The demon became one of Hell's best killers, but abandoned her post for the love of a human. Justin refuses to believe that April is a demon, but slowly begins to lose his mind the longer he sits in the pentagram. Lo reveals that he had actually helped April escape Hell and his legs were crushed when she was returned. With the powers of Hell against him, will Justin be able to save April and will he even want to knowing that she is actually a demon?

"Ewwww, tuna breath!"

Lo lies on the outer most reaches of the horror genre. True, it has demons in it and is based around the concept of there being a Hell, but you wouldn't compare it to say The Exorcist. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out just how this actually manages to get labeled a horror movie. There isn't any violence or blood in the movie and there are no psychological aspects to it. The movie focuses more on quirky humor, some of which is genuinely funny. Both Jeremiah Birkett and Devin Barry are quite funny and play their roles perfectly. I found Jeez's song entertaining even though it was very out of place and killed any sort of suspense the movie was still grasping. Of course, not all the humor works as we are “treated” to a scene of a bartender doing a goofy dance while making a drink. It's not funny and lasts waaaaaay too long. The makeup used for the demons looks very good, but when you see closeups of Jeez, you can clearly see they didn't completely cover around his eyes. Oops. The movie is an experimental, low-budget indie movie, so it's not like I was expecting Tom Savini-quality work, but that seems like a big mistake.

The story is essentially a take on Faust, with a dash of Orpheus, and the movie makes no bones about that fact. I mean, the story is mentioned in the movie, so it's not a secret. The problem is that the romance between Justin and April feels completely plastic and fake. They are in love because we're told they're in love instead of being shown. The character of April is a little too awkward for my liking and makes their romance that much more unbelievable. The movie doesn't provide good horror, so I was forced to focus on the romance, which wasn't good either. That just left me with the humor. The movie is quite ambitious and I give writer/director Travis Betz credit for creating something fairly unique. The movie was shot in only 3 days and has a creative style and visually different. The movie is laid out like a real play, which is good or bad depending on your personal preference. Some scenes worked very well in this format while others missed the mark.

"This one goes out to all your Hellspawn out there on Lover's Lane."

Lo is a romance wrapped in humor with just a touch of horror. The demons look very good (for the most part) and there are some very funny moments. The movie itself has a unique look that I have never seen before. There isn't a lot to the story and if you're expecting a lot of action or violence, you will be sorely disappointed. If you like Faust, you'll pick up on all the parallels and references. The romance between Justin and April is not believable and it really hurts the rest of the movie. When your romance/horror doesn't contain much horror and not very good romance, what do you have left? Guys making jokes in makeup and costumes.

4.5/10

Day 292: Session 9

Session 9

Number 9. Number 9. Number 9

Insane asylums/mental hospitals are the perfect setting for horror movies. They're better than morgues, better than graveyards, better than public school on picture day. There is just something inherently terrifying about these asylums. Maybe it's because of their well-known violent past. Maybe it's because countless numbers of people died inside them. Or maybe it's our own personal fear of losing control and being doomed to a life of pills and padded walls. Whatever reason it may be, no other building, structure or institution fits the world of horror better then an insane asylum. The fear exists before the movie even starts.

Session 9 is a 2001 psychological horror movie starring David Caruso (CSI: Miami, NYPD Blue) as Phil and Peter Mullan (War Horse, Trainspotting) as Gordon Fleming. Gordon owns the Hazmat Elimination Company and has just gotten the contract to remove the asbestos from the abandoned Danvers State Hospital. The old insane asylum is quite large and while Phil says it should take three weeks to clean, Gordon tells the owner they'll clean it in one. Gordon and Phil's team includes the irresponsible Hank (Josh Lucas, Hulk, Poseidon) who stole Phil's girlfriend, law school dropout Mike (Stephen Gevedon, War Of The Worlds, Devil You Know) and Gordon's nephew Jeff (Brendon Sexton III, Empire Records, Boys Don't Cry). While cleaning, Mike discovers nine taped sessions with a former patient named Mary Hobbes. The tapes describe Mary suffering from multiple personality disorder. Her other personalities include a little girl called The Princess, a young boy named Billy, and someone named Simon, whom the doctor cannot speak with yet. The incident has been blocked out and the doctor desperately tries to get Mary to remember. As the week wears on, Hank discovers a cache of silver coins and other valuable items in a tunnel underneath the hospital and leaves the job to head to Las Vegas. At the same time, Gordon begins to unravel, revealing to Phil that he hit his wife. Mike, who has become engrossed with the taped sessions, learns that a some sort of mysterious incident occurred to Mary on Christmas in Lowell, Massachusetts in 1951. Jeff sees Hank at the hospital, despite supposedly leaving for Las Vegas, and the rest of the group gives chase. The generator, which provides light to the hospital, runs out of fuel and the building goes dark. One by one, each member of the group is attacked. Who is the one behind the attacks and how does Mary's sessions fit in to everything?

It's clearly haunted, but look at those windows!

For a movie with a pretty low budget, Session 9 manages to create a fantastically eerie atmosphere. You're never sure what is going to happen next and where the movie is going. The music is one contributing factor to the atmosphere. Light playing of piano notes makes scenes that would normally be benign seem important and sinister. Scenes in the movie were shot at the actual Danvers State Hospital in Massachusetts, which certainly gave the movie a real sense of reality. The building is quite amazing to behold, especially when you know that Danvers was supposedly the birthplace of the pre-frontal lobotomy. Another factor was the sessions that Mike was listening to. It really felt like they were plucked out of a real mental hospital. The sessions hold a gripping story with a good amount of suspense in regards to what happened and how it relates to the current events. While the sessions are a good parallel for what is happening in the movie, I was disappointed that they didn't actually affect anything. They're still creepy, no question, but I was expecting a ghost or something along those lines. The story does get intentionally confusing towards the end in hopes of having a big surprise ending. Unfortunately, it wasn't particularly shocking and made the previous confusion unnecessary. The payoff should have been a lot better than what we got.

The acting is good throughout the movie with Caruso and Mullan putting in the best performances. There are a few scenes of bloody violence towards the end, but probably not enough for the typical horror fan. The majority of the story is a little too slow for my liking, but the Mary sessions kept me interested. Writer/director Brad Anderson (The Machinist, Fringe) does a really good job on a small budget, crafting a dark movie that leaves the audience guessing. There are some really good horror scenes, including one with an ice pick and one with Jeff running down a hallway with the lights going out behind him. The movie is heavy on mood and a little light in terms of narrative.

Devo: The Later Years

Session 9 has a decent story, but great atmosphere. The setting is authentic and spooky, far better than something one a Hollywood set. The taped sessions are probably the best part of the movie as they are quite unsettling. Sadly, the movie doesn't have the payoff I was expecting. The ending is fairly predictable, despite having a confusing lead-up. There is some decent violence and blood, but that only comes at the end. The acting is good and the direction is very good. Session 9 has it's moments and had the potential for greatness. It just didn't reach the heights that it was going for. It's a decent watch with some good scenes, so if you're looking for something different, give Session 9 a shot.

7/10

Day 291: Sleepaway Camp

Sleepaway Camp

Yeah, stabbing a shoe makes complete sense

The term “cult classic” is given to many horror movies, perhaps more than any other genre of film. It's important to remember that just because a movie is a cult classic, that doesn't mean that it is classic. It's cult for a reason. Sometimes it's because the movie is obscure or too strange or eccentric for the mainstream. Other times it's because the movie is utterly terrible and people like to laugh at it. Then there are those few films that gain cult status due to one or two memorable scenes. These scenes are so shocking that just uttering the name of the movie will cause be to go, “Oh, that's the movie where...”. Sleepaway Camp is one of those movies.

Sleepaway Camp is a 1983 slasher horror movie starring Felissa Rose (Return To Sleepaway Camp, Satan's Playground) as Angela Baker. Angela's father and brother Peter, were killed in a boating accident and she was sent to live with her eccentric aunt and cousin, Ricky (Jonathan Tiersten, Return To Sleepaway Camp, The Perfect House). After the accident, Angela has become introverted and rarely speaks. Ricky and Angela are sent to Camp Arawak for the summer. Due to her shy nature, Angela is bullied by some of the campers and her counselor, Meg. Ricky tries to protect Angela and actually saves her from the head cook Artie who tries to molest her. While Artie is boiling water, and unseen person knocks him off a chair, sending boiling water all over his body. The teasing continues and Ricky, along with his friend Paul, get into a fight with some other boys. Angela begins to open up to Paul and a relationship slowly starts to build between the two. Meg continues to torment Angela, asking why she refuses to shower with the other girls and why she never goes swimming. At the same time, the body count beings to rise around camp, although they all appear to be accidents. Mel, who runs the camp, suspects that it's Ricky behind all the “accidents” and is determined to catch him. Who is really behind the murders and is Angela really who she says she is?

"I left the oven on! My pies will burn!"

This movie came out during the slasher heyday of the early 1980's, but it's general concept was nothing new. By 1983, we already had multiple “youth at a camp” slashers including the far-more popular Friday The 13^th, The Burning, and Madman. I will give Sleepaway Camp credit in focusing more on the actual campers than the counselors, which does make the killings more disturbing. This would have been a great chance for the movie to really separate itself from the “camp site” slasher pack, but unfortunately, nothing of real interest occurs. It's not that the movie directly ripped-off previous slashers, it's just kind of lazy. The kills are actually creative and fun to watch, but when Sleepaway Camp focuses on anything else, the movie comes to a grinding halt. We get that Angela is bullied, we don't need to see it for an hour. Her relationship with Paul is barely-there and just serves to get to the shock ending. The acting is pretty bad and some of the character's motivations are questionable.

Now, I normally don't like to give away major twists, but I feel it's necessary to discuss in order to properly review the movie. While most know what it is, if you've never seen Sleepaway Camp, I suggest you skip over this paragraph. Needless to say, SPOILER ALERT. The big twist ending is that Angela is in fact, Peter, who we previously thought was killed in the boating accident. For whatever reason, her aunt decided to raise her as a girl. Other than being nuts, there's no real reason given as to why she did this and why Angela went along with it. I guess we can chalk it up to being traumatized, but come on. While that information is fairly surprising, it's how we learn that Angela is actually a boy: a full-frontal naked shot of a blood-covered Angela, penis and all. To top that all off, the final scene has a naked Angela with an insane look on her face that lasts an unnaturally long time. Seriously, look at that picture below. Keep looking at it for at least 15 seconds. That's the end of the movie which was incredibly unsettling. Weird and pointless, but unsettling. The twist is quite shocking, though it doesn't really add that much to the story itself. Why does Angela go on a killing spree now? Has she killed anyone before? Why bother exposing herself now after hiding for so long? I don't know, I'm probably thinking too much on a movie who's main purpose is to shock the audience by showing a wang.

"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Welcome back, those of you who wanted to keep the ending a secret. Sleepaway Camp is a fairly mundane slasher film with a real mediocre story. There are a lot of holes in the story and the poor acting is hard to ignore. You're better off watching several other “camp site” horror movies. There are some interesting kills, though the movie lacked the blood and gore that was prevalent in other slashers from the same time. The movie has gained cult status thanks to it's truly shocking ending, having been immortalized in multiple songs and even parodied in the stop-motion show Robot Chicken. Just because something is cult status doesn't mean it's good. There's no real need to see the entire movie since the last 5 minutes are the only interesting and disturbing part.

4/10

Day 290: The Shrine

The Shrine

Shrine on, you crazy diamond

Don't go to a foreign country. Don't leave your state. Don't even leave your couch. The world of horror has taught us that going anywhere is a recipe for a disaster. Help is not coming and no one will ever find you. That's being a little dramatic, but it does occasionally happen in real life, which makes these movies more plausible. Granted, you're not going to be horribly murdered visiting the Hockey Hall Of Fame in Toronto, although that would be an awesome horror movie. Most of these travel horror movies take place in remote locations and require the main characters to be incredibly dumb. It's a a tried and true horror recipe.

The Shrine is a 2010 horror movie starring Cindy Sampson (Swamp Devil, Supernatural) as journalist Carmen and Aaron Ashmore (Smallville, Warehouse 13) as her boyfriend and photographer Marcus. Carmen gets wind of a story where a young American man named Eric Taylor disappeared while traveling in Poland and wants to investigate. She also mentioned that his luggage showed up in the Czech Republic despite never traveling there. Her boss does not give her permission to go and instead gives her a story covering bees that have gone missing. Carmen and her intern Sara (Meghan Heffern, Chloe, The Fog) visit Eric's mother and borrows his journal. Ignoring her boss, Carmen takes Sara and Marcus to Eric's last known whereabouts: a small village in Poland called Alvania. The find the villagers to be extremely secretive and unwelcoming. They talk to a little girl and show her a picture of Eric. She shows shock and fear at the picture, but a farmer named Henryk (Trevor Matthews, Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer, Teen Massacre) stops her from speaking to the group. Walking around, they take note that the villagers all treat their religious leaders like royalty. The walk out to the woods where a strange, unmoving fog hangs over the land. Sara disappears into the fog and Carmen goes in to find her. She comes across a large statue of a demon holding a heart. The statue's eyes begin to bleed and the heart starts to beat. Both Carmen and Sara escape the fog and begin to hear strange whispering. As they head for their car, the little girl from before brings them to a hidden tomb that contains the bodies of several people, including Eric. Each body has a white robe on and a strange mask that cannot be removed. They are locked in the tomb by the little girl and have to pry the door open to escape. They are attacked by the villagers who capture both Sara and Carmen while Marcus is forced to dig a grave. The girls are taken to a sacrificial tomb and Sara is strapped to an altar. Her wrists and Achilles' heels are slashed and one of the masks is forcibly placed on her face, killing her. While trapped, Carmen begins to see demonic faces on the villager's bodies. Marcus is able to escape his captor and rescues Carmen, fleeing into the woods. Will they be able to escape, what really happened in that fog, and why are the villagers killing people?

Making her wear white after Labor Day? You monsters!

Have you ever watched a movie and picked out scenes that were similar to 4 or 5 other movies? I kept doing that while watching The Shrine, more so than any other horror movie to date. It doesn't help that they remind me of much better horror movies that I'd rather be watching. The general torture of Americans in a foreign land, combined with the Achilles cutting scene reminded me of Hostel. The foreign land with a weird , archaic religion is like The Wicker Man. On top of not being completely original, the movie's biggest problem is that the story is just not very good. There are a lot of holes in the plot that really stuck with me. If the villagers know that going into the fog is a bad idea, why don't they warn anybody? Put a sign up, erect a road block, tell foreigners not to go in there. Something, anything to avoid this apparently constant problem. Another issue I had was the character of Sara. It was blatantly obvious from the beginning that she was there just to be killed. She didn't have a lot of development or even a love interest. A good amount of dialogue in the movie is in another language (I'm assuming Polish). Normally, I much prefer movies taking place in another country to be in it's native tongue. The problem is, there are no subtitles, so I have no clue what is going on. If giving away part of the plot is an issue, just rewrite things to keep the story vague.

I kept waiting for the story to lead to something important and that only happened in the last 10 minutes or so. There is a decent twist in the movie, you just have to wait an absurdly long time for it to happen, which is a shame because the twist was far more interesting that a majority of the movie. The movie touches on a few too many horror subgenres, including torture, possession, and exorcism, which leave the movie without a solid identity. There is a good amount of action and violence, with the final scene upping the ante in terms of blood and gore. If the rest of the movie had been like the last 10 minutes, I would have enjoyed it a lot more. The acting is fine with no real complaints. Composer Ryan Shore actually received a Grammy nomination for the soundtrack, but I honestly don't remember anything about the music in this movie.

"Sup, baby. What's a demon gotta do to get your number?"

A lot of things in The Shrine just feel forced and rushed. The story progresses only because the characters make terrible decisions. There are a lot of plot holes and general annoyances that are too much to ignore. The story is all over the place and hard to focus on, especially since a lot of the dialogue is not in English. There is a good amount of violence and some great gore at the end, but it's just not enough to make you want to sit through everything else. The Shrine desperately wanted to be all sorts of different horror movies and we end up with something unoriginal and not terribly fun to watch.

4.5/10

Day 289: Maniac Cop

Maniac Cop

At least Maniac Cop has a sense of humor

The 1980's were a special time. A B-level actor was president for 8 years, Madonna and Michael Jackson had not yet become complete freaks, and the slasher craze ballooned and then popped. Every writer, director, and studio wanted to have the next Friday The 13^th or Halloween. Every holiday got their own slasher film. Almost every profession had a slasher movie whether it was a janitor or a teacher or a doctor. By the time the late 80's rolled around, the genre had already run it's course, and had settled back to a more even level in terms of volume and quality. One also included a young Bruce Campbell.

Maniac Cop is a 1988 slasher starring Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead, My Name Is Bruce) as NYPD Officer Jack Forrest and Tom Atkins (The Fog, Creepshow) as Detective Frank McCrae. A man in a police officers uniform begins killing civilians in brutal fashion, sending the city into a panic. Detective McCrae begins investigating the case, discovering that the killer is incredibly strong. Jack Forrest is a young officer that constantly works the night shift. Jack has a strained relationship with his wife Ellen, who suspects that he might actually be the cop behind all the murders. One night, she follows him to a seedy hotel only to find him in bed with Theresa Mallory (Laurene Landon, Airplane II, The Ambulance) a fellow police officer. Ellen pulls a gun on Jack, but leaves the hotel in a hurry. She is murdered by the maniac cop and Jack is taken into custody. Things don't add up and McCrae continues the investigation, leading him to a former police officer Matt Cordell (Robert Z'Dar, Tango & Cash, The Summoned). Cordell was a hero police officer, known for shooting first and asking questions later. When he started going after the mob, Mayor Killium (Ken Lerner, Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Series, The Running Man) set Cordell up and had him sent to prison. In prison, he was viciously stabbed all over his body and was pronounced dead. Jack discovers that Cordell did in fact survive and escaped prisoner, thanks to the help of a female police officer in love with him. Will McCrae and Jack be able to stop this maniac cop form continuing his reign of terror?

"I am the law!"

My initial reason for watching Maniac Cop was because I believed that Bruce Campbell was going to be the villain. Most movies I have seen starring Campbell have portrayed him as the hero and I was a little disappointed that he wasn't the maniac cop. Having a police officer as your killer is certainly different, but unfortunately, the movie does not continue with a trend of originality. They portray Cordell as a nigh-invulnerable killing machine, similar to Jason from Friday The 13^th. We see him shot in the chest several times and Theresa even claims to have shot him in the head twice. There is no reason to explain why this is. Is he magical? Is she just an incredibly terrible shot with horrible eyesight? If they wanted to go the supernatural route, they should have made it clear how this happened and perhaps give him more abilities. If they wanted the story based in reality, just say he had a bullet-proof vest on or something to that effect. The character is stuck somewhere in the middle and just left me confused. I will say that the movie did a great job of hiding the killer's face for almost the entire movie. It allowed the audience to portray whatever image they wanted onto the killer, similar to what John Carpenter did with Michael Myers in Halloween. When they finally showed Cordell's face, it was nothing scary or shocking. They clearly didn't have Tom Savini doing makeup.

There is a decent amount of violence in Maniac Cop with some fun and creative kills. There is some blood, but not much in the way of gore or extreme violence. The problem is that they kind of forget about the slashing in the middle of the film. The movie focuses way too much on the actual investigation instead of the horror. In the beginning we have a few kills and at the end we have a lot. What about the middle? Instead, we get a rather bland and typical cop drama. Tom Atkins is the quintessential police officer, playing one in multiple movies. Bruce Campbell is good in his role, but doesn't get to flash any of his trademark charm and wit. The rest of the cast is fine, but the problem lies with the story, not the production. Nothing unexpected happens and the story runs it's course exactly as how you would expect. 

"Boomstick says what?"

Maniac Cop is a decent slasher in the beginning and end, but is lost in a mediocre mystery for most of the time. The villain had a lot of potential, but the movie doesn't deliver. It's never clear how he is so strong or why bullets don't hurt him. I really would have liked Bruce Campbell in the role because the added personality would have made the movie far more interesting. There are some good scenes of violence, but they're mostly lumped together, leaving long stretches free of killing. Maniac Cop had a lot of potential, but missed too many opportunities. It's still watchable and has a few good moments, but it's nothing special.

6/10

Day 288: Remains

Remains

You'll never win with that hand

It's not always choosing which horror movie to watch. Sometimes you're not in the mood to watch a slasher or a vampire movie. Maybe you want a violence-filled splatter fest or perhaps something a little more psychological and slower. I'm sure many of you would get a laugh out of watching me try to decide which movie to watch, flipping through various DVDs and websites, trying to find something I'd enjoy. When I'm stuck, I'll take a look at the specifics of the movie like who is acting in it, or directing it or who wrote it. Today's movie is based off the work of famed horror comic book writer Steve Niles, who's work includes 30 Days Of Night and Criminal Macabre. Unfortunately the increase in price and decrease in quality has put a stop to my comic book reading some years back. I had never heard of Niles's book “Remains” but I have enjoyed his other work in the past, so I figured I would give this a shot.

Remains is a 2011 zombie movie based off the 5-issue comic book of the same name. The movie stars Grant Bowler (Ugly Betty, True Blood) as Tom, a blackjack dealer in a Reno, Nevada casino. Tom sneaks into storage room with Tori (Evalena Marie, Serena And The Ratts, Exhumed), a cocktail waitress at the casino, for a little “alone” time. While they are in the heavily-shielded room, a large experiment goes wrong, releasing large amounts of radiation into the world. The power goes out and both Tom and Tori are stuck in the room. When the power finally returns, they escape only to find the casino in ruins. When they try to help an old woman sitting at the slots, she turns out to be a zombie and tries to bite them. A well-placed walker-shot to the face kills her and they meet Jensen (Miko Hughes, Rosewell, Full House), a magician who worked in the casino. They fight off zombies in the hotel, trying unsuccessfully to save a woman stuck in a room with zombies. ON security cameras, they see Victor (Anthony Marks, Celebrity Ghost Stories, Blood Night: The Legend Of Mary Hatchet) fighting off zombies with a biker. He shoves the biker to the zombies and makes it into the casino. Over the course of the next few days, they try various means of escape from the casino. They try to sneak past the zombies when they sleep (yes, zombies sleep in this movie for some reason), but the plan fails. Tom's fingers are bitten, but Tori chops them off in case you become a zombie if bitten. They are saved by a group of soldiers and go back to the casino. Cindy (Tawny Cypress, Rescue Me, Heroes), the daughter of the soldier in charge, tends to Tom's wound and makes a connection with him. At the same time, the soldiers raid the casino's pantry, leaving the group with no food. Jensen tries to stop them, but is killed. With no food, corrupt soldiers, and zombies outside, how will they survive?

"Sorry, I'm new at this zombie thing."

It's important to mention that this movie was made for the Chiller TV network, a cable network specializing in horror movies. While the idea for the channel is great, for whatever reason, a lot of the movies they show are edited for content, language, or nudity. It seems kind of weird to me to create an entire network for a genre known for it's violence and nudity. The movie does have that “made-for-television” quality to it in regards to the quality of film used to shoot it and star power. There are multiple fade-to-black scenes, indicating commercial breaks, which does get tiresome. The story itself is your standard zombie-survivalist horror movie. You already have a pretty good idea of what is going to happen. None of the survivors are particularly likable, which I suppose does give the movie a dose of reality, but makes it hard to cheer for some of them. In most zombie movies, the survivors are at least moderately sympathetic characters, but not these ones. Cindy and the soldiers come into the movie with about 40 minutes left, falling somewhere in between too early and too late to make a real impact and create drama.

Thankfully, Remains does have the appropriate amount of violence and gore that is required in a zombie movie. The movie doesn't reach Romero-style violence, but it's enough to keep you entertained. The makeup on the zombies look good, though I did have multiple problems with how the zombies acted. I know they just used a lot of extras as their zombies, but there was too much variety in how they moved. Some ran, some staggered and then sprinted, and some even moved like chimps. One zombie even barked at another to get him away from a corpse. BARKED! Eventually the zombies start eating each other. Again, that's a new one. If that's the case, why not just wait the zombies out in hopes they kill each other? And since when do zombies sleep?! It does help separate the movie from other zombie films, that's too much for me. I'm a traditionalist when it comes to zombies and sleeping is just unacceptable, especially when the survivors still can't escape when the zombies are asleep.

Who ordered the extra pepperoni pizza face?

Remains is a fairly unremarkable zombie movie. I have never read the comic book, so perhaps the story is laid out in a better way, but on the screen it's standard and mundane. There were plenty of options for creativity setting the story in Reno, but it never really comes up. Why not kill a zombie with a roulette wheel or shove a slot machine on top of one? The acting is fine considering the lack of star power. There is a decent amount of violence and some gore which was more than I expected coming from Chiller. I didn't like some of the changes made to zombies as they are unnecessary and silly. Zombies are usually in the “if it ain't broke, don't fix it” category and this is a good example of why. There are worse zombie movies out there, but there are also far better ones.

4.5/10