The Best Of 365 Days Of Horror

A "Best Of" list from all the movies I have reviewed

Better than all the rest

Greetings fellow horror fans. Have you missed me? I sure missed you. I know I posted back in January that I was going to post a few more things, but life always manages to get in the way. To make up for my lack of posting, here is my "Best Of" list where I break down some of my favorite movies from the past year. If you think I should add another genre or missed out of something, leave me a comment. I'll be doing a "Worst Of" list soon as well. Hopefully it won't take me four months to get to like this post.

Zombie Movie (Romero)

Dawn of the Dead

George Romero sure does love his zombie movies. Most people split them up into two categories: The original “...Of The Dead” trilogy of Night, Dawn, and Day and then the recent trilogy of Land, Diary, and Survival. Most would agree that the second trilogy is far inferior to the first three movies. Each of those movies have their moments, but they have too many flaws to even be mentioned in the same breath as the original trilogy. While Night and Day are both entertaining, Dawn Of The Dead is really head and shoulders above the rest. The action starts off right away, the characters are good, and the violence is great. The movie really picks up when they get to the mall, fulfilling the audience's fantasy of doing whatever they want. As is common with Romero's other movies, Dawn has a lot of smart social commentary and really positions people as the real monster.

Runner-Up: Night Of The Living Dead

Zombie Movie (non-Romero)

Pontypool

Pontypool really caught me by surprise. I watched the movie on a whim with no prior knowledge. I saw no trailers, read no reviews. I hadn't even heard of it until I started watching. It's a smart zombie movie that is also incredibly scary. While it may not have as much blood or violence as your typical zombie movie, it stays true to the basic tenets of zombie horror. There is a true sense of panic and utter hopelessness as the movie progresses. I also appreciated that the zombies come about not because of radiation or the dead coming back to life, but because of “infected” words that change people. It's abstract and unique, yet still plausible.

Runner-Up: Exit Humanity

Vampire Movie

From Dusk Till Dawn

Despite almost half the movie having no vampires, From Dusk Till Dawn is still an incredibly entertaining vampire movie. It doesn't hurt that the cast includes George Clooney, Harvey Keitel, Juliette Lewis, Quentin Tarantino, and a bikini-clad Salma Hayek. The movie has equal parts action, suspense, and horror, all of which make for an incredibly fun watch. It's over-the-top entertainment thanks to the great performances and director Robert Rodriguez's incredible eye for action.

Runner-Up: John Carpenter's Vampires

Werewolf Movie

An American Werewolf In London

Director John Landis manages to create a werewolf movie that is both scary and funny. The movie is best known for it's werewolf transformation scene. Unlike previous movies, the transformation takes place in clear light for an extended period. Thanks to incredible special effects, the audience practically feel the pain of the transformation as well. It's your traditional werewolf movie, but thanks to good acting and solid direction, An American Werewolf In London is a great watch.

Runner-Up: Ginger Snaps

Monster Movie

The Host

The Host is fashioned after the classic Godzilla movies from Japan. The movie has plenty of emotion and lots of social and environmental commentary. The monster itself looks very good thanks to some great special effects work. The characters are all likable and relatable. Thankfully the movie is in it's native Korean and not dubbed. It's a little long, but it's worth it.

Runner-Up: Monster Brawl

Foreign Movie

Frontier(s)

Frontier(s) came out of nowhere for me. I had never heard of it before and decided to watch it on a whim. It is shockingly violent, but does not rely on gore alone. It's brutal, grim, and gritty, and not for everyone. The sets and natural locations both look very good and transport the viewer to another place, fully enveloping them in horror.

Found Footage Movie

Cloverfield

Cloverfield manages to put the audience directly in the path of a gigantic monster. The movie uses Manhattan to it's advantage with scenes on bridges, on the streets, and in subways. You really feel like you're right there with the characters. There's even a decent love story thrown in for good measure. The monster looks great and some great camera work makes Cloverfield more than just another shaky-cam headache-a-thon.

Runner-Up: Quarantine

Favorite Slasher Movie

Satan's Little Helper

I have a special love for Satan's Little Helper. It's cheap, simple, and occasionally stupid, but it's still incredibly fun. The mask for “Satan” looks great and I love that we never see the killer's face. Technically, we're not even sure of the killer's true identity. The ending manages to be both scary and depressing, a high accomplishment for a lesser-known movie. While it might not make it on many (or any) lists, I enjoyed it immensely and have given it multiple views.

Runner-Up: Halloween

Favorite Universal Monster

Dracula

The classic story is full of horror, romance, and romantic horror. Bela Lugosi is the one and only Dracula and everyone else after him is just holding his place until he inevitably rises from the grave once more. The movie is over 80 years old and hasn't lost anything to time or changing trends. The movie is drenched in shadow giving it an unshakable creepiness that stands to this day.

Runner-Up: Frankenstein

Favorite Horror Comedy

Dracula: Dead And Loving It

It's Mel Brooks and Leslie Nielsen. What more could you want? The movie stays pretty true to the Dracula story, but still manages to cram in loads of laughs. While it may not be Brooks' best movie, it's still far better than any sort of “spoof” movie that has come out in the past twenty years. Comedy doesn't always work in horror, but Mel Brooks manages to do the impossible.

Runner-Up: Suck

Favorite Satanic Movie

Prince Of Darkness

I don't know why, but something about this movie legitimately scared me the first time I watched it. The slow descent of the outside world, the race against time, and the supernatural elements all work together to create something awkward and unsettling. We only see the arm of the Prince of Darkness and it still manages to be frightening. An unsung gem by John Carpenter.

Runner-Up: The Omen

Favorite Stephen King Movie

Misery

Misery is scary because it is very real. There's no supernatural elements, no aliens, no magic powers. Just a man trapped in a room with a psychopath. The real praise goes to James Caan and Kathy Bates who put in award-winning caliber performances. Director Rob Reiner does a great job giving us both thrills and chills. Misery proves that you don't need wild stories and fantasy to make good horror. Sometimes a person is the scariest monster.

Runner-Up: The Shining

Favorite Sci-Fi Horror Movie

The Thing

One of my all-time favorite movies. What can be scarier than an alien creature that can look like anything? An alien creature that can look like hideous twister monsters. Thanks to some great special effects, we see a monster straight out of our nightmares. The movie has plenty of mystery, action, suspense and horror. Kurt Russel is great as well as the rest of the supporting cast. One of John Carpenter's best.

Runner-Up: The Fly

Favorite Horror Anthology

Creepshow

When you combine two great horror minds like Stephen King and George Romero, you know you're in for a good time. Each story in Creepshow is highly enjoyable and could stand on it's own as a full-length. There are great performances from a myriad of talented actors that aren't necessarily synonymous with horror. People like Leslie Nielsen, Ted Danson, Ed Harris, Adrienne Barbeau, Hal Holbrook, and even Stephen King himself make the movie that much more enjoyable. The stories are all different and avoid falling into the usual horror cliches. Highly recommended.

Runner-Up: Trick R Treat

Favorite Masters Of Horror

Cigarette Burns

This was the one Masters of Horror episode that actually gave me the chills. I actually regret reviewing it so early because I feel like I probably missed some things. I really like everything about this movie; from the concept, to the acting, to the execution. Everything about it is as good as it is terrifying. The idea of a haunted video isn't new (The Ring anyone?), but once we actually see clips of said-haunted movie, everything becomes that much more terrifying. This could easily have been a full-length movie and could have even become a new horror classic.

Runner-Up: Family

Favorite Remake

The Crazies

The Crazies took a decent, if somewhat forgettable, George Romero horror movie and improved on it in just about every way. It manages to achieve both reasons for remaking a movie: Exposing the audience to something they might not have originally scene and making it better. The movie has lots of great action and some good scares. There are some memorable scenes and some pretty good acting that help the story along. I'm not the biggest fan of remakes, but The Crazies gives me hope for future ones.

Runner-Up: Fright Night

Most Shocking Moment

Eye-gouging scene from Zombie (Zombi 2)

Wow! This scene completely and utterly shocked me when I saw it. I was literally on the edge of my seat as I saw a woman pulled closer and closer to a piece of broken wood. Movies tend to cut away, leaving the brutal violence to the audience's imagination. Zombi stays with the scene, showing exactly what happens when the human eye meets something sharp. Here is the scene if you are morbidly curious.

Runner-Up: The “hobbling” scene from Misery

Day 358: Dead Alive

Dead Alive

Peek-a-bleechh

“Horror movies are nothing but violence and blood.” Horror may be one of the most maligned genres in all of cinema. There are those who want to blame scary movies for all of society's failings and those who regard them as nothing more than filth. We know that this is not true. Horror movies can be beautiful, poetic pieces of entertainment that can make us laugh, cry, scream, and yell. The same can't be said for some other genres. The point is that despite the blood and gore horror movies are not just splatterfests, dumping gallons of blood and guts in front of the screen to the delight of weirdos and neerdowells. Unless of course, that's the entire point of the movie.

Dead Alive (also known as Braindead) is a 1992 New Zealand zombie movie written and directed by Peter Jackson (Lord Of The Rings, The Hobbit). The film stars Timothy Balme (The Tattooist, Mercy Peak) as Lionel Cosgrove and Diana Penalver (El comisario, Mediterraneo) as Pauita Maria Sanchez. An explorer visits Skull Island and captures the legendary Sumatran Rat-Monkey, a hideous creature who, legend has it, came about when large rats infested the island and raped all the monkeys. Natives try to stop him from leaving with the monkey, but he evades them only to be bitten in the hand by the monkey. His assistants chop off his hand to prevent the effects from spreading, but upon seeing scratches on his head, they are forced to kill him. The rat-monkey is then shipped to the Wellington Zoo in New Zealand to be put on display. Lionel Cosgrove, a Wellington resident, lives with his domineering mother Vera (Elizabeth Moody, The Lord Of The Rings, The Scarecrow) and has very little in the way of a personal life. He meets Paquita at a local shop who quickly falls in love with him after he fulfills a prophecy given to her by her grandmother. They go on a date to the Wellington Zoo where Vera follows them. She gets too close to the Rat-Monkey and is bitten on the arm. Lionel takes her home to care for her, but her condition quickly deteriorates. He calls a nurse to check on her, but Vera, now a ravenous zombie, kills the nurse, turning her as well. He keeps them sedated in his basement, but Vera escapes into the general population. She is hit by a trolly and Lionel is forced to tranquilize her during the funeral. That night, he returns to the graveyard to tranquilize her again, only to be attacked by hoodlums. Vera rises from the grave and turns the gang into zombies. Father Jon McGruder (Stuart Devenie, The Frighteners, Jack Of All Traders) uses kung-fu to fight off the zombies, proclaiming, “I kick ass for the Lord!” Unfortunately, Father McGruder is also turned into a zombie and Lionel is forced to keep him in his basement. Lionel's uncle Les (Ian Watkin, Charlotte's Web, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys) pays him a visit and discovers the zombies. He blackmails Lionel into giving up the house and inheritance in exchange for keeping quite. Lionel poisons and buries the zombies while Les throws a party at the house. The zombies awaken and start attacking the partygoers. Will Lionel and Paquita be able to stop the zombies before they spread throughout the country?

At least his jacket is still in one piece

Dead Alive is possibly one of the goriest films ever made. When someone describes a movie as being too gory, just point to Dead Alive and say “Is it gorier than this?” The movie has gallons of spraying blood, dismemberment, slashing, and flesh-eating all in the name of fun. If that sounds too tame, there movie is famous for a scene where Lionel uses an upturned lawn mower to shred a horde of zombies in what can only be described as the blood version of Old Faithful. The film is loaded with obscene violence, but presented in such a way that you can't help but laugh. Whether is a priest using martial arts or Lionel trying to feed zombies, the movie is full of legitimately funny scenes. Granted, there are some things in the movie that don't work, like the pile of guts chasing after Lionel or just about anything involving the zombie baby the shows up later in the film. Things progress at a quick pace which helps keep the movie going since the plot is fairly simple. 

Red Skull, is that you?

To the fans of The Lord Of The Rings and The Hobbit, it may come as a shock that Peter Jackson was involved in such a crazy movie. If you can get past the shock of such intense violence, you can see Jackson's creativity and keen eye. He includes lots of odd angles and plenty of closeups to really capture the emotion and overall strangeness of the movie. The movie has a good balance of action, comedy, and horror which should appeal to fans from different genres. There is also a nice little romance between Lionel and Paquita. Towards the end of the movie, the story is pushed to the side for the extended zombie fighting. It's a fun culmination, but there is no real progression until Vera reappears at the end. The acting is good by everyone involved which is impressive considering the movie traverses various different genres. The special effects, makeup, and prosthetics used in the movie are truly impressive and far better than any computer could do. The film quality is a bit dated, making the movie appear to be from the early 80's rather than the 90's. 

He'll need a lot of club soda to get that out

Dead Alive is a wild, gore-filled horror movie that has almost as many laughs as it does horrible acts of violence. Squeamish types may want to stay away because the movie is filled with more blood and guts than some medical school text books. Throughout all of this, though, the movie retains it's sense of humor with a mixture of slapstick, physical comedy, and clever lines. Director Peter Jackson captures the horror as well as the laughs while including a bit of romance and action. The special effects look great and are the real star of the movie. Without that effort and skill, the movie wouldn't be as good as it is. If you can, seek out the original version of the film under the Braindead title as it has extended scenes and even more gory violence. Dead Alive is a fun horror movie with an absurd amount of violence and is highly recommended.

8.5/10

Day 357: Drag Me To Hell

Drag Me To Hell 

This poster is one dragon away from being a heavy metal album cover

Sam Raimi's career is quite impressive when you look at it. From humble beginnings directing low-budget horror movies like Evil Dead and Army Of Darkness, Sam Raimi has become a household name by directing summer blockbusters like Spider-Man and Oz: The Great and Powerful. Not content with just directing, Raimi writes, produces, and even acts in a myriad of movies. His career helps legitimize the horror genre and shows young directors that anything is possible. While he has moved onto other genres, Raimi is most beloved for his work in horror. His incorporation of humor, special effects, and old-school style scares have created multiple classics. After his work on the Spider-Man movies, no one would have blamed him from staying away from horror movies. That's why a roar of approval came from the horror community when Raimi announced that he was writing and directing a new horror movie.

Drag Me To Hell is a 2009 supernatural horror movie written and directed by Sam Raimi (Evil Dead, Spider-Man) with writing help from his brother, Ivan Raimi. The film stars Alison Lohman (Gamer, Beowulf) as loan officer Christine Brown. Christine lives a fairly normal life in Los Angeles with her boyfriend Clay (Justin Long, Jeepers Creepers, Dodgeball) while trying to get a promotion as the bank she works in. Christine is insecure about her humble farm upbringing as well as her previous weight. One day, an elderly woman named Sylvia Ganush (Lorna Raver, The Caller, Breaking Waves) comes into the bank and asks Christine for another extension on her mortgage. Christine informs Ganush that she has already received two extensions, but asks her boss Jim Jacks (David Paymer, Mr. Saturday Night, State and Main) what he thinks. Jim leaves the decision up to Christine and, knowing her promotion depends on it, denies Ganush the lone. She makes a scene, begging Christine to reconsider. Scared, Christine calls security and Ganush is deeply shamed and insulted. That night, when Christine gets into her car, Ganush is waiting in the backseat and a fight ensues. She rips a button off Christine's coat and places a curse on her. After the attack, Christine and Clay meet with a fortune teller named Rham Jas (Dileep Rao, Avatar, Inception) to get her fortune read. Rham sees that she is haunted by an evil demon spirit and asks her to leave. Over the next few days, Christine is haunted by the demon known as the Lamia who is now after her soul. Christine goes to Ganush's house to try get her to remove the curse, but it is revealed that she has died. Desperate to stop the attacks, Christine kills her pet kitten to appease the demon, but it does not work. With the help of Rham, Christine has a séance with Shaun San Dena (Adriana Barraza) who has tried and failed to defeat the Lamia once before. The séance does not work and San Dena is killed in the process. Rham informs Christine that the only thing to save her now is to give her cursed button to someone else, passing the curse onto them. Will Christine be able to free herself before she is dragged to hell?

Robbing graves is still more respected than being a banker

Drag Me To Hell may be the first movie during this entire year where I was legitimately conflicted about my feelings. The movie had plenty of things I liked, but a good amount of things that I didn't. Normally, when there's something I don't like in a movie, whether it's a plot hole or a stupid scene, I can just write it off and move on. With Drag Me To Hell, the scenes I didn't like were actually done well and I couldn't just say “Oh that's stupid” and continue watching. A lot of these scenes revolve around the movie's humor. Some label the movie as a “horror comedy” but I think calling it a comedy is too far of a stretch. The jokes in the movie are very much in line with the humor from the Evil Dead series: gory over-the-top violence with improbably situations and clever one-liners. My problem with the humor in the movie is in the execution. The jokes tend to pop up out of nowhere, killing the actual horror. One good example is during the séance when the demon spirit is put into a goat. The evil goat then proceeds to talk and say dirty words. It's kind of funny, but not exactly a kneeslapper. More importantly, it renders the fear in the scene useless. It's a good, scary scene that turns into a goof off. Then there's scenes that are just plain silly, like when Christine's nose starts to bleed and then sprays all over her boss. It was just too random and unnecessary for my tastes, but it was still executed well. The movie takes a decidedly Evil Dead-esque turn towards the end which will delight fans of those movies, but may confuse the casual viewer. A scene in a graveyard has a strange cheapness to it unseen in the rest of the movie, using an obvious set with a green screen as the background? Again, it's not a bad scene, it's just jarring for the movie to just change like that.

The story itself is good, if a bit predictable. A gypsy is wronged and places a horrible curse on someone. Sound like another movie that I reviewed? How about Stephen King's Thinner? Sure the details are different, but the basic premise is similar. Even the big surprising ending reminded me of Thinner. Speaking of the ending, I found it a little disappointing and rather bothersome. It would have actually been nice to get the happy ending we were teased with. Instead, we get an ending that felt rushed and convenient. Raimi gets to flex his horror muscles once again, creating a spooky atmosphere and using lots of old and new tricks to get scares. The movie properly mixes current special effects and traditional effects that will entertain all types of horror fans. Alison Lohman is a good scream queen and would do well in other horror movies. Justin Long is fine though I still prefer him in comedy roles. Lorna Raver is very creepy as the gypsy Sylvia Ganush and helps make the movie far more scarier than you would expect. 

You complete me

Overall, Drag Me To Hell is a fun horror movie with a few problems. The humor feels out of place to me which really kills the horror. It's not bad humor, it just doesn't feel right. It's always difficult to balance horror and humor, but I think Drag Me To Hell should have just stuck with the horror. The acting is good and the directing is solid. Fans of Raimi's work will have a lot of fun from start to finish. Those unaccustomed to his brand of horror and humor will still enjoy the movie, but may be a little put off by how the movie jumps from horror to humor too quickly. The special and traditional effects are both good and the horror is fairly enjoyable. It's a good watch, but with a few tweaks, it could have been great.

7.5/10

Day 346: Dracula: Dead And Loving It

Dracula: Dead And Loving It

His cape is bigger on the inside

I love to laugh and make people laugh. Nothing makes me happier than having a room full of people laugh at a smart, thoughtful, well-timed joke. Some of my favorite funny people include George Carlin, Lewis Black, Patton Oswalt, Demetri Martin, and good friend/former roommate Drew Mayer (follow him at @mayercomedy). My all-time most favorite funnyman, though, has to be Mel Brooks. He always manages to make me laugh, even if it's with a funny look or a goofy voice. His movies have greatly influenced my own sense of humor throughout the years. His combination for smart jokes, slapstick, and visual humor makes for a thoroughly enjoyable watch. You may be wondering why I'm heaping huge praise on a comedian when this is a horror review blog. Well, Mel Brooks is no stranger to horror. His movie Young Frankenstein has become immensely popular over the years and was even made into a Broadway musical. Everyone knows and loves that movie. I'd like to focus on a not-so-beloved Mel Brooks movie featuring another funny man, Leslie Nielsen.

Dracula: Dead And Loving It is a 1995 horror comedy starring Leslie Nielsen (The Naked Gun, Creepshow) as Dracula and Mel Brooks (Blazing Saddles, Robin Hood: Men In Tights) as Abraham van Helsing. The movie spoofs the classic 1931 Dracula film, following the story relatively closely. Solicitor Thomas Renfield (Peter MacNicol, Ghostbusters II, Ally McBeal) travels to Transylvania to meet with Count Dracula to finalize his purchase of Carfax Abbey in England. When he reaches a nearby village, the villagers (Anne Bancroft and Chuck McCann) warn Renfield that Count Dracula is actually a vampire and with the sun setting, they will not take him to the castle. Unconcerned and with a schedule (pronounced “shedule” by Renfield) to keep, Renfield proceeds on foot to Dracula's Castle. Dracula puts Renfield under a hypnotic spell, turning him into a slave that subsists only on bugs. They travel to England and when the boat docks, all the crew have vanished except for Renfield. He is committed to an insane asylum run by Doctor Seward (Harvey Korman, Blazing Saddles, High Anxiety). That night, Dracula visits the opera where he introduces himself to Dr. Seward who happens to be his new neighbor. He also meets Dr. Seward's daughter Mina (Amy Yasbeck, Robin Hood: Men In Tights, The Mask) and her friend Lucy (Lysette Anthony, Krull, The Advocate). That night, Dracula goes to Lucy's room and bites her. The next day, she is inexplicably exhausted and sick, so Dr. Seward calls on Dr. Abraham van Helsing, an expert on obscure diseases. Van Helsing explains that she has been bitten by a vampire and covers her room with garlic. That night, Dracula breaks Renfield out of his asylum to remove the garlic. He is captured and returned to the asylum while Dracula bites Lucy again and turns her into a vampire. Van Helsing and Mina's fiance Jonathan Harker (Steven Weber, Wings, Farm House) kill Lucy with a stake to the heart while Dracula eventually bites Mina. Will Jonathan and van Helsing be able to stop Dracula before it's too late?

I make the same face when I find out the deli is out of knishes

If this movie sounds just like the 1931 Dracula, it's not a coincidence. Other spoofs by Brooks, such as Young Frankenstein and Spaceballs, had managed to create their own stories while poking fun at the originals. Dracula: Dead And Loving It is more faithful to the source material with just a few little asides here and there. It's perfectly fine because the focus of the movie is more to make you laugh than to make you enjoy the story. For those that have seen Dracula, it may be slightly boring to have to sit through a story you already know. The jokes come quickly, with a mixture of physical comedy, word play, clever asides and all the other hallmarks of Mel Brooks' work. There's even the usual sprinkling of Jewish and Yiddish humor which no doubt will leave some gentiles scratching their heads. For those aware of that type of humor, it's highly enjoyable, as always. Still, the jokes are fairly “by the book”. Those accustomed to Brooks' wackiness in movies like History Of The World Part I and Silent Movie may be a little disappointed with Dracula: Dead And Loving It's straightforward nature.

While the story is nothing special and there's no scares to speak of, the performances from the cast help move the film along. Leslie Nielsen is fun and occasionally hammy, but in a good way. Fans of his Naked Gun movies will enjoy him immensely. Mel Brooks is his usual funny self while never hogging the spotlight. Amy Yasbeck is good as well, though I would have liked her to have a bigger role. She was great as Maid Marian, so it's not like she wasn't capable of having a larger role. The same could be said for Steven Weber as Jonathan Harker. Despite being a comedy, there is one scene that contains more blood than many horror movies. When Jonathan kills Lucy, blood literally explodes all over him multiple times. Other than that, there isn't much action of violence to speak of. There are some pratfalls and physical comedy thrown around for good measure just to keep the audience visually stimulated. The sets look OK, but tend to have a fakeness to them that takes away from the overall movie.

"Uhhhhh...she tripped!"

Dracula: Dead And Loving It may not be the best Mel Brooks movie, but it's still very funny. There are many negative reviews out there, but I feel that the movie has gotten better with age. The jokes are still capable of making people laugh which is more than what most new movies can do. I would take this movie over any of those Date Movie, Superhero Movie, Meet The Spartans crapfests. There isn't much story to speak of and if you've seen the 1931 Dracula, you already know what is going to happen. If you need something fun to watch, but still want a touch of traditional horror, Dracula: Dead And Loving It is worth your time.

7.5/10

Day 340: The Lost Boys

The Lost Boys

Not pictured: Starter jackets, LA Gear sneakers, and Jersey hair

Teen vampire movies weren't always relegated to crappy romance novel adaptations where people swoon over brooding bloodsuckers that sparkle in the sunlight and have strong religious overtones. In fact, the 1980's were full of vampire movies. We had Fright Night, the Jim Carey-starring Once Bitten, My Best Friend Is A Vampire, Lifeforce, and Near Dark. These weren't just one-note vampire movies either. Some were comedies, some were action/adventures, some were straight horror. There was one vampire movie from the 80's, though, that manage to touch on many different genres while encapsulating the very essence of the 1980's. That movie is The Lost Boys.

The Lost Boys is a 1987 teen vampire movie starring Corey Haim (License To Drive, Lucas) as Sam Emerson and Jason Patric (Sleepers, Narc) as his older brother Michael. Along with their mother Lucy (Dianne Wiest, Edward Scissorhands, Bullets Over Broadway), the boys move to Santa Clara, the supposed murder capital of the world, to live with their grandfather. Michael and Sam hang out on the boardwalk when Michael spots a beautiful girl named Star (Jami Gertz, Less Than Zero, Sixteen Candles) and pursues her. She runs with a gang lead by the mysterious vampire David (Kiefer Sutherland, 24, Mirrors). Wanting to stay with Star, Michael goes along with David as the gang initiates him through various dares and challengers. Michael drinks from a bottle containing blood, thus beginning his transformation. Meanwhile, Sam visits a comic book store where he meets Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman, The Goonies, Stand By Me) and his brother Alan (Jamison Newlander, The Blob, Lost Boys: The Tribe). They insist that Sam read a comic called “Vampires Everywhere!”, warning him that it could save his life. The next day, Michael develops a thirst for blood and is sensitive to sunlight. He is even attacked by Sam's normally docile dog Nanook. After retreating to his room, Michael begins to levitate and fly against his will, terrifying Sam and prompting Lucy to come home from her date with Max (Edward Herrmann, Gilmore Girls, The Aviator). Sam discovers that his brother is only half-vampire and his humanity could still be restored by killing the head vampire. Sam and the Frog brothers believe that Max is the head vampire and put him through various tests made to look like accidents. He passes them though, leaving the boys without a clue as to who the head vampire may be. After an incident where the vampires kill some surfers, Star visits Michael, revealing that she too is half-vampire and that she wants to be cured as well. They all travel to the vampire's hideout and stake one vampire (Alex Winters, Bill from Bill & Ted's Excellent Journey) but must flee when the rest wake up. That night, the teens arm themselves with weapons to fight against the vampires. Who is the head vampire and will Sam be able to free his brother before it is too late?

"What? I can't hear you over that hideous shirt!"

If aliens ever came to our planet and wanted to know what the 1980's were all about, you'd show them The Lost Boys (or maybe Mannequin if you were feeling mean). The culture, the clothes, the mullets, the music. All that was really missing was Hulk Hogan and some power suits with shoulder pads. It's all so very 80's and I mean that in a good way. While the movie is geared towards teens and horror fans, the story is quite entertaining. It mixes action, adventure, teen angst, and comedy without ever really losing it's horror edge. Granted, it's still teen-friendly, but that's just a movie knowing it's audience. The movie focuses on both Michael and Sam, giving the movie a wider range of teen and young adult fans. There are some scares and some blood, but not enough to keep the average non-horror fan away. The humor isn't overpowering, but it lightens the mood when necessary.

The movie's visual style is quite striking with beautiful sweeping shots of the ocean combined with a soaring musical score. The Lost Boys proves that Joel Schumacher, the man who directed such stinkers as The Number 23, Batman Forever, and Batman & Robin) can actually direct. The action is decent and thanks to some prosthetics and color contacts, the vampires don't look half bad. The movie is helped greatly by the good performances from Kiefer Sutherland, Jason Patric and the two Coreys. While most modern audiences are used to the badass Jack Bower Kiefer Sutherland, it's nice to see him play a villain so well. He plays the vampire David with a sly, dangerous edge, like he's the cool older kid in high school that wears a leather jacket and hangs outside during lunch. Corey Haim is good as the younger brother, serving as a solid avatar for the audience. The ending is a bit of a blow-off, but in that special 80's way where everything is perfectly fine.

We call that "Cold Toilet" face

The Lost Boys has found a wide audience and thanks to a high nostalgia factor, two sequels have come out in recent years. It's one of the quintessential teenage movies from the 80's along with The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. It's a fun little story that combines a lot of different genres with relatable teenage angst. The undercurrent story of teens moving to a new place, falling into the wrong crowd, and their mother dating is all a clever parallel to the problems that many in the audience face. The movie has some good action, but it may not be enough for true horror fans. The acting is good and it's fun to see all the wonderful things from the 1980's. Whether you're feeling nostalgic or just need a fun, relatively harmless horror movie, The Lost Boys is worth the watch.

8/10

Day 332: Club Dread

Club Dread

Totally worth the risk

I really enjoy the work of comedy group Broken Lizard. You know them from their movies “Super Troopers” and “Beerfest”. They manage to use a good mixture of sophomoric and clever humor, something easier said than done. Usually, comedy movies go for one or the other. For every dick and fart joke, there's a well-crafted joke that requires some thinking. While the movies may be fun, they're not exactly heavy on plot or story. Both Super Troopers and Beerfest are straight comedy movies, so they can get away with it. What happens, though, when Broken Lizard tries to make a horror movie?

Club Dread is a 2004 comedy slasher movie staring the comedy group Broken Lizard and Bill Paxton (Tombstone, Big Love) as aging rocker Coconut Pete. Pete has created an secluded island paradise where guests are encouraged to get drunk and have sex as much as possible. Lars (Kevin Heffernan, Farva from Super Troopers) is the island's new masseur and immediately hits it off with aerobics instructor Jenny (Brittany Daniel, Joe Dirt, Skyline). They are unaware that a masked murderer has just killed three of their co-workers in the jungle and now stalks the island. The next day, the slashed body of worker Cliff is found inside a human Pac-Man maze. All communication to the mainland is cut off and their boats have been sunk. A message warns the staff that only they are being targeted. They try to continue on as if everything is normal, but the bodies begin to pile up. It is discovered that one of Coconut Pete's songs is being used as a map to kill people. Paranoia begins to spread as everyone is a suspect: Dive instructor Juan (Steve Lemme, Mac from Super Troopers), tennis instructor Putman (Jay Chandrasekhar, Ram from Super Troopers), Pete's nephew Dave (Paul Soter, Foster from Super Troopers), and “party police” Sam (Erik Stolhanske, Rabbit from Super Troopers). Even Lars and Jenny become suspects. Juan fears that the killer may also be Penelope (Jordan Ladd, Never Been Kissed, Grace) a particularly strange guest who is infatuated with him. Will Lars and Jenny be able to uncover and stop the killer before it's too late?

"Get the Windex!"

Balancing comedy and horror is never easy. Usually, comedic horror movies just go straight for the comedy and just have an outline of horror. The Scary Movie series comes to mind. If you focus on comedy too much, the horror will suffer and if you focus on horror too much, the movie isn't very funny. Club Dread focuses more on comedy, but doesn't ignore horror. Like Super Troopers and Beerfest, the comedy in Club Dread is a mixture of good timing, clever one-liners, and goofy humor. There are genuinely funny moments throughout the film which caused some legitimate belly laughs. Because the movie has to focus on horror, some of the jokes are hit and miss in the laughs department. There's nothing eye-roll worthy, but some jokes do fall a little flat. Out of the three Broken Lizard movies, Club Dread is probably the least funny, but that's because the other two are so good.

In terms of actual horror, the story isn't half bad. It's your typical slasher movie with a good dose of mystery. Director Jay Chandrasekhar mixes the genres well enough so that nothing feels out of place. The comedic acting is good throughout and even non-comedic actors like Bill Paxton and Brittany Daniel get some good laughs. Having Kevin Heffernan as the hero was an interesting choice considering how great he was as the ridiculous Rod Farva from Super Troopers. The connection between Jenny and Lars seems a little odd when looking at the two, but both actors managed to make it at least passably believable. The action is decent, but for a slasher, there is very little in the way of blood and gore. In true slasher fashion, the killer is very hard to dispose of to the point of absurdity. I know it was done for comedic effect, but I felt it hurt the horror portion of the movie. Again, it's a difficult balancing act. 

Who wants to play "Human Torch"?

Mixing comedy and horror is not impossible, but it's certainly difficult. The comedy was never a concern for Club Dread, but the horror was. Some of the jokes don't work, but overall, it's still a funny movie. The horror is fairly mediocre and there is a serious lack of blood and gore for a slasher movie. The mystery is interesting enough to keep the audience engaged, though the movie did feel longer than it really was. I applaud Broken Lizard for getting out of their comfort zone and creating a movie in a difficult genre. If you're looking for laughs, Club Dread definitely has them. If you're looking for good horror, you may feel a little disappointed.

6/10

Day 321: Night Of The Creeps

Night Of The Creeps

Aw, I thought this was "Night Of The Crepes"

Everyone loves a good B-movie. We all have a favorite, whether it's Killer Klowns From Outer Space or Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes or Leprechaun In The Hood. There's just something fun about a movie that isn't quite on the same level as something coming from a major studio. It's the lower budgets, the it's the questionable stories, and the the mediocre acting. B-movies take more risks, mostly because they have to. Sometimes we get gems, sometimes we get bombs, and sometimes we get movies that are so bad that they're good. One movie in the 1980's took our love of B-movies and created an homage to the genre by becoming a B-movie itself.

Night Of The Creeps is a 1986 science-fiction zombie movie starring Jason Lively (National Lampoon's European Vacation, Brainstorm) as Chris Romero and Tom Atkins (Creepshow, Maniac Cop) as Detective Ray Cameron. In 1959, an alien aboard a spaceship releases a canister that crashes on Earth. A boy out on a date with his girl comes across the canister just as an escaped mental patient attacks her. Inside the canister is a strange leech-like creature that leaps into his mouth, turning him into a zombie. 28 years later, Chris Romero and his friend James Carpenter “J.C.” Hooper (Steve Marshall, 21 Jump Street, Justice Denied) attend a frat party at Corman University. Chris is smitten with a sorority girl named Cynthia Cronenberg (Jill Whitlow, Twice Dead, Porky's) but is too shy to speak to her. Convinced she'd only be interested in a frat guy, Chris and J.C. Try to pledge with the Phi Omega Gamma. As part of their initiation, both have to bring a cadaver back from a local medical center. Once inside, the boys release a corpse, the boy from 1959, from it's chamber. A doctor catches them and they flee back to their dorm. Detective Ray Cameron, a surly, jaded police officer, investigates and discovers that the corpse is actually missing. The missing body makes it's way to Cynthia's sorority where it's head splits open, releasing the alien leeches. The leeches begin to infect people, turning them into murderous zombies. J.C discovers that fire can kill them, but is soon infected himself. Will Chris be able to stop the zombies and save Cynthia and how does Detective Cameron fit in to the original incident in 1959?

Everyone remembers prom night

This movie sets out to be an homage to B-movies and accomplishes it's goal. It's a silly horror/sci-fi romp with plenty of over-the-top action and snappy one-liners. It's funny watching this movie after seeing Slither because there are some blatant similarities. Alien leeches? Check. Infecting through the mouth? Check. Zombies? Check. Regardless, Night Of The Creeps revels in it's B-movieness as it is full of love for the genre. There are plenty of references throughout, some more obvious than others. A quick look at the list of characters reveals names such as Romero, Carpenter, Cronenberg, Corman, Landis, and Raimi. Certain scenes are reminiscent of other horror movies as well. The difference between this homage to horror movies and, say, Hack!, is that the references aren't thrown in the audience's face. I never felt like I was being bludgeoned over the head with references. The story progresses without having to stop every few minutes to give a nod to another famous horror movie.

We get a decent amount of action throughout the movie and the final battle, complete with Cynthia holding a flamethrower while in her formal dress, is highly entertaining. The zombies look decent, just right for that specific B-movie quality. Tom Atkins, the perennial cop, plays his role unsurprisingly well. He's extra surly, giving snappy, sarcastic answers to stupid questions. Some lines are funny, while a few do fall flat. One scene where he shouts, “It's Miller Time!” is funny for it's initial purpose, but also because it's so dated. It's like seeing a movie ten years from now where some shouts “Just Do It!” Even non-horror aficionados will get some laughs out of the movie, though there's no real gut-busting hilarity. 

He's still having a great hair day, though

Night Of The Creeps is one big love letter to the wonderful world of B-movies. From the characters to the plot, the movie is like an old blanket. It's nothing new and may not impress, but it's still enjoyable nonetheless. The story is decent and gets to the point quickly. The aliens in the beginning are a little funny looking, but they're only around for a minute or too, so it's not a big deal. I guess that's the point, anyway. The movie has it's funny moments, but can feel dates at times. Some jokes do fall flat, but nothing bad enough to send the movie off the rails. The action is good and the zombies have that classic B-movie look to them. Tom Atkins is highly enjoyable as always. While not the best known horror movie from the 80's, Night Of The Creeps is worth searching out.

7.5/10

Day 316: The People Under The Stairs

The People Under The Stairs

I'm more worried about the skull over the roof

The term “master of horror” is thrown around a lot. It's attached to names like George Romero, Dario Argento, Lucio Fulci, John Carpenter, and whoever directed Sex In The City. One person that has almost always received that title is Wes Craven. With a resume including such massive horror movies as A Nightmare On Elm Street, Scream, The Hills Have Eyes, and The Last House On The Left. Craven has also shown a desire to work in a mix horror with comedy, sometimes to mixed results. Movies like Shocker and Vampire In Brooklyn were less than stellar in terms of quality and box office draw. Were they just terrible movies or do people not want to see lighter horror movies?

The People Under The Stairs is a 1991 horror film starring Brandon Adams (The Mighty Ducks, The Sandlot) as Pondexter “Fool” Williams. Fool lives in the slums of Los Angeles with his sick mother. His family are about to be evicted when Leroy (Ving Rhames, Dawn Of The Dead, Pulp Fiction) recruits Fool to help with a robbery. Supposedly, the Robeson house outside of the city contains priceless gold coins. After a failed attempt at getting in the house with Fool dressed as a Boy Scout, Leroy's accomplice Spenser gets in dressed as a utility man. When Spenser doesn't return, both Leroy and Fool break into the house, narrowly escaping a guard dog. The are unaware that this is no normal house and the Robeson's are no normal family. Daddy (Everett McGill, License To Kill, Under Siege 2) and Mommy (Wendy Robie, Twin Peaks, The Glimmer Man) are a deranged, racist incestuous couple who terrorize and abuse their daughter Alice (A.J. Langer, Escape From LA, My So-Called Life). Fool ends up in the cellar where he comes across a group of deformed men. Terrified, he runs back up stairs and finds Leroy. Fool and Leroy discover the house is heavily fortified with unbreakable windows, automatic locks, and electrified door knobs. Daddy shoots and kills Leroy while Fool is able to escape through a labyrinth of tunnels in the house, thanks to Alice. Alice explains that Mommy and Daddy has been kidnapping boys for years and when they disobeyed, they were imprisoned in the cellar, resorting to cannibalism to survive. Will Fool and Alice be able to escape this house of horror?

That's the best tic-tac-toe board ever

On the surface, The People Under The Stairs has a pretty good horror story. A kid, trapped in a house full of homicidal maniacs and cannibals trying to find his way out. It's the movie's execution that takes away a lot of the horror. It's as if Wes Craven saw Home Alone (which came out the year prior) and said “Hey, I want to do that, but with more gore!” While The People Under The Stairs is certainly a horror movie, it's not the horror movie I was expecting. It turns out, the people under the stairs are just abused humans with bad skin. Kind of disappointing. I figured the people under the stairs would play a more prominent role in the movie, but more focus was given on Daddy and Mommy. They are completely deranged, to the point where they can no longer be taken seriously. Seeing Daddy run around the house in a full “gimp” BSDM suit could have been scary and disturbing, but just came off as silly and unexpected. The movie isn't exactly a comedy, but it does have comedic moments, complete with goofy sound effects. The movie still manages to be entertaining, but not in a horror movie sort of way.

The movie has a good amount of action and a surprising amount of gore. If you ever wanted to see Ving Rhames rib cage, this is your chance. The People Under The Stairs goes a different route by having children as the main characters. I feel that making them a little older would have allowed the movie to be more serious in nature and tone. Instead, we get wackiness and nominal scares. The acting is good throughout, with Wendy Robie and Everett McGill putting in the best performances. The house is very cool and you're never sure what is going to happen next. Craven uses many different styles of filming throughout the film, using different angles, extreme close-ups, and sped-up action. The writing occasionally feels like a white person writing for black characters, but it never reaches the level of Mitt Romney saying “Who let the dog's out?” when taking a picture in an urban area. 

"Welcome to the Republican National Committee."

The People Under The Stairs manages to be mostly entertaining even though it favored comedy over horror. I wanted more people under the stairs than what we were given, but Daddy and Mommy were such strong characters that it's a wash. The movie could have been very scary, but it's just too silly thanks to sound effects and over-the-top characters. The acting is very good and the direction is solid. I do have to question the movie using young children instead of teenagers in the main roles. It hobbled the potential for extreme content which would have added to the horror. While the overall themes in the movie are creepy, nothing is particularly scary. If you're looking for something a little different, give The People Under The Stairs a try.

6.5/10

Day 251: Jennifer's Body

Jennifer's Body

Wait, isn't she in high school? Have a seat over there...

Rarely do I feel like I am not the target audience when watching a horror movie. I fit into the coveted 18-34 male demographic so a lot of television shows and movies are aimed towards me in an effort to get my spending money. They joke is usually on them because I have no spending money, plus I'm not easily swayed by whatever is “in” at the moment. With 250 reviews this year, only once did I ever feel like a movie was not really created with my “bracket” in mind and that was the urban zombie/vampire movie “Dead Heist”. Even then, it was still a bloody testosterone fest. Will a movie about teenage girls written by (gulp) Diablo Cody (Juno, Young Adult) make me feel left out as well?

Jennifer's Body is a 2009 horror/black comedy movie starring Megan Fox (Transformers, Jonah Hex) as Jennifer Check and Amanda Seyfried (Mean Girls, Red Riding Hood) as her best friend Anita “Needy” Lesnicki. The movie is told mostly in flashback, starting with Needy in a women's mental institution explaining how she got there. One night, Jennifer takes Needy to a dive bar in their tiny Minnesota town, Devil's Kettle, to see an indie rock band called Low Shoulder. Jennifer flirts with the lead singer and Needy overhears him talking about her, guaranteeing she is a virgin. Needy confronts him, confirming she is a virgin (despite not being once since junior high school) in hopes of scaring him off. A fire breaks out during their set, killing several people, but Jennifer and Needy escape through a window. The singer from Low Shoulder convinces Jennifer to go with the band despite Needy's pleas for her not to. That night, Jennifer shows up at Needy's house, covered in blood. She vomits a black viscous liquid and leaves quickly. The next day, to Needy's surprise, Jennifer is perfectly normal. With the town in mourning, Jennifer lures the school's football to the woods in an effort to seduce him. She attacks, viciously disemboweling him and cannibalizing his body. Since the incident, Low Shoulder has become incredibly popular thanks to a rumor saying they saved people at the show. One day, Jennifer comes to school looking sick and weak. She accepts a date from emo kid Colin (Kyle Gallner, A Nightmare On Elm Street, The Haunting In Connecticut), killing and eating him later that night. After the murder, Needy nearly hits an almost feral Jennifer with her car. Jennifer explains that on the night of the accident, the band sacrificed her to the devil in order for the band to become famous. Because she was not a virgin, a demonic spirit took over her body, turning her into a succubus. In an effort to protect her boyfriend Chip, Needy breaks up with him and begs him not to go to the school dance. Needy goes to the dance to make sure Jennifer will not hurt anyone else. Little does she know that Jennifer meets Chip before the dance. How will Needy stop Jennifer and save the town?

Her gigantic eyes can see the future!

Jennifer's Body is one part Mean Girls and one part Carrie. A lot of the movie focuses on the toxic relationship between Jennifer and Needy. Jennifer is the pretty one, always taking from the doughty nerd, Needy. Female relationships have occasionally been addressed in horror, but never to the extent that Jennifer's Body does. I give the movie credit for trying to add a different type of substance to the horror genre. I never experienced anything like that in my own life, but the movie manages to convey the relationship well enough so that I didn't feel completely left out. The story itself is decent, though I don't understand why they told it in a flashback. The beginning and after portions weren't necessary and hurt the movie's momentum. The movie goes for that evasion comedic horror movie, but manages to miss both targets. The biggest problem for me is Diablo Cody's style of writing. I had to suffer through Juno and as much as I hated the “witty” dialogue from that movie, it at least made sense because it was a quirky indie movie. For every funny one-liner (and admittedly, there are a few) there are about 5 eye-rolling pieces of dialogue. It tries so hard to be hip that the movie becomes another high school flick with a few horror scenes. The movie tried to show some sort of weird psychological connection between the two girls, but it was never explained and just left me confused. The horror itself is decent with some good, but brief scenes of violence. There are also some good special effects, but again, they're brief. For a movie that's geared towards high school girls, it's weird that they made the movie rated R.

One thing that initially caused me some pause before watching the movie was the inclusion of Megan Fox. Now, I've never seen Transformers and have zero intention of ever doing so. Despite never seeing that effects-laden explosion fest, I have read countless criqitues of Ms. Fox's acting and didn't have high hopes of Jennifer's Body. The say “Never judge a book by it's cover” for a reason. Megan Fox is actually very good in this movie, convincingly pulling off both comedy and horror. Amanda Seyfried is good as well, though I wouldn't normally have casted her as the “nerdy” one. There are a few cameo scenes with J.K. Simmons (Spider-Man, OZ) and Amy Sedaris (Strangers With Candy, Elf) which were enjoyable. The movie does essentially ignore adults, making them goofy or just non-existant. I thought it was weird that the satanic band was an indie rock band. You'd think making them a heavy metal band would make more sense, if not a little cliched. Speaking of music, there are a few good bands played throughout the movie (The Sword, Screeching Weasel, It Dies Today), but there's also some weak indie rock that I could have done without.

 A little something for the boys that got dragged to see this

It's nice to see a horror movie focus on female characters and their relationship. Jennifer's Body isn't the first to do that, but it's probably the first to focus on it so much at the high school level. This focus does tend to drag on too much over the course of the movie. The Diablo Cody signature “snappy” dialogue is in full effect and becomes annoying. Saying a guy is “salty” instead of “hot” is neither funny, clever, or hip. It's just annoying. The horror is decent with some fun violence and gore, though I wonder why they geared the movie towards high school girls if they couldn't initially see it in theaters. That would probably help explain why it did poorly at the box office. The acting is surprisingly good, considering I was expecting the worst. Jennifer's Body has it's moments, but it's never as good as it thinks it is. The real travesty is that Jennifer's Body has a much longer and in-depth Wikipedia page than, say, the page for Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. Come one, people.

5/10