Day 113: Night Of The Comet

Night Of The Comet

Good night and good luck

I was in the mood to watch a zombie movie, but the ones on Netflix all had terrible reviews. It's hard to gauge a movie based on the words of complete strangers on the internet. You have no idea if these people know what they're talking about or if they have some weird ax to grind with the filmmakers. Anything is possible. Sometimes the reviews are right and sometimes they're dead on. I didn't feel like taking a risk, so I decided to watch something that I had seen bits and pieces of in the past; Night Of The Comet.

Night Of The Comet is a 1984 sci-fi/horror/comedy starring Catherine Mary Steward (Weekend At Bernie's, The Last Starfighter) as Regina “Reggie” Belmont. Reggie is an 18 year old living in southern California with her younger sister, Samantha (Kelli Maroney, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Chopping Mall). A comet is passing by the Earth and while most people are gathered outside to watch it, Reggie spends the night with her sort-of-boyfriend Larry in the projection room of the movie theater they work in. Unbeknownst to them, the comet has changed the Earth, altering the sky to a reddish haze and vaporizing almost everyone not protected by a lead shelter. The next day, as Larry leaves the theater, he is killed by a zombie who had not been completely turned into dust. Reggie fights off the zombie and makes it home, where she finds her sister still alive. Sam had spent the night in a shed after punching her stepmother in the face. They hear on the radio that a DJ is still alive and playing music and head to the station. There they find the station abandoned and that the DJ is actually automated. They find a survivor, a truck driver named Hector Gomez, at the station. Sam plays around with the DJ equipment and receives a phone call from survivors part of an underground think tank that were prepared for the comet. Hector leaves to check on his mother while the girls head to the mall for new clothes. They are attacked by a gang of men, but are saved by the soldiers and scientists from the think tank. Reggie goes to their compound while Sam is kept behind because the scientists believe she is succumbing to the comet's effects. At the underground compound, it is revealed that the scientists do not want to help Reggie, but just want to study her blood. Will Reggie and Hector be able to help the young children at the compound that have also survived and was Sam really sick from the comet?

Welcome to Ronald Reagan's wet dream

This movie is a lot of fun. While it is pretty light on the horror, it actually contains a lot of themes used in good horror movies, such as political commentary, doomsday scenarios, and questions of who the real enemy is. Night of the Comet draws from such horror and sci fi classics as Dawn of the Dead, The Omega Man, and Last Woman On Earth. It never gets bogged down in one genre, although I would have liked a bit more zombie action than what we were given. There's plenty of gunfire, but not a whole lot of violence and blood to speak of. The story is pretty basic, B-movie stuff, but that's ok because it never treats the audience poorly and does a good job of entertaining us.

Visually, the movie does an excellent job of convincing the audience that the world has died. It is actually startling to see a blue sky after seeing it be rust colored for the majority of the movie. Both Catherine Steward and Kelli Maroney put on great performances and have good chemistry together. It's the end of the world with almost no one alive, and they're still having discussions about boys, school, and clothes. The conversations are legitimately funny without coming off as dumbed-down or stupid. It's hard to tell nowadays how much of the movie is satirical and how much of it is legitimate. For example, when the girls go to the mall and shop around, Cyndi Lauper's “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” plays in the background. Nowadays, that comes off as funny and ironic, but keep in mind, that song was brand new when this movie came out. Either way, the scene still works, I just think its cool that it adds a new level to the film. Not a lot of movies can say that.

Zombie mustache. That is all.

Night Of The Comet is a fun genre-masher of a B-movie. It is deeply trenched in 80's culture, but only feels slightly dated. The smart script, funny dialogue, and good chemistry between the main actors help push the movie beyond the usual pit falls of apocalypse movies. Sadly, there isn't much direct horror in the movie, with zombies getting only a few short scenes, but they do employ the use of horror themes. Overall, it's a fun and entertaining movie. Take that, Netflix reviews.

7.5/10

Day 112: Black Sheep

Black Sheep

Oh sheep!

Happy Creature Feature Saturday everyone. It feels like I haven't done one of these in a while. Saturdays tend to be slow days for blog traffic, so I usually watch the particularly terrible horror movies, which happen to be animal-based movies. Blame SyFy and lazy writers everywhere. It seems that every animal has been used for a horror movie; sharks, crocodiles, bees, bears, spiders, hell even slugs and worms. So I might as well watch one starring sheep. That's right, sheep. Now I don't know about you, but sheep don't exactly strike fear into my heart. In fact, here in the United States, during the elections of 2010, a Republican named Carly Fiorina was running for Senate in California and released a downright insane political ad called “Demon Sheep.” For my international readers (and I do have a lot, apparently. You should say hi in the comment section), most of our political ads are not this crazy and thankfully, she did not win.)

Black Sheep is a horror/comedy movie from New Zealand starring Nathan Meister as Henry Oldfield. As a young sheep farm boy, Henry was traumatized by a cruel prank played on him by his brother, Angus (Peter Feeney). Angus killed Henry's pet sheep and wore it's bloody carcass to scare his brother. Directly after the prank, the boys learn from their housekeeper, Mrs. Mack, that their father had been killed in an accident. 15 years later, Henry returns to the family farm to sell his share to Angus. Henry is now terrified of sheep, to the point where he has to call his therapist when surrounded by them. Angus has been genetically modifying sheep in hopes of making a more profitable creature. Environmentalists Grant and Experience steal a mutant lamb preserved in a container, but accidentally drop it when they are pursued. The mutant bites Grant, infecting him with the mutant sheep strain. Meanwhile, Henry goes for a drive with his old friend Tucker. They are confronted by a sheep that refuses to move from the road. When they get out, Experience steals their gun and holds them hostage. Unfortunately, she is no good with guns and Tucker takes it from her. They see a farm house filling with smoke, go to investigate and are attacked by a vicious sheep. Tucker shoots it multiple times before it dies. Angus is stopped and bitten by Grant, who is slowly turning in to a sheep monster. Henry, Experience, and Tucker fight their way through the sheep, but Tucker is bitten and begins to change as well. They go to Grant's lab, where they see the horrors he has created. One of the scientists there sees Tucker's now sheep-like hoof and injects him with the cure. With investors coming to the farm to witness Angus's new creation, will Henry and Experience be able to stop the killer sheep from mutating more people and get off the farm alive?

 "Not baaaaaad. Needs salt."

As crazy as it sounds, this was actually a very entertaining movie. Black Sheep could have easily been some cheap, CGI, Saturday afternoon on basic cable garbage fest, but surprisingly it had a fun story, good acting, nice special effects and makeup, and tradition horror. Black Sheep can best be described as a zombie movie with sheep. There is a horde of infected creatures looking to eat humans and if you are bitten, you become one of them. Pretty simple stuff and its amazing when you think of how many zombie movies out there suck when a movie about mutant sheep can be good. The direction is very good, with not shots particularly wasted or unnecessary. Above all else, the movie is just entertaining, something that is becoming increasingly rare in horror.

There is plenty of comedy throughout the movie, and for the most part, its actually funny. They did a good job with the writing and the actors are able to pull off their parts convincingly. There are a few cringe-worthy moments when it came to the comedy, but it's still better than some of the stuff you'd see on Comedy Central. There is a good amount of action and loads of blood and gore. Seriously, there are more entrails, severed limbs, and bloody wounds in this movie than some of the Saw movies. The locations used for the movie are absolutely beautiful and really help set the rural tone of the movie. Despite being a movie from another country, there were only a few times where local sayings were used, and it never took away from the story.

Half man, half sheep, all terrifying

Black Sheep takes a silly idea of killer mutant sheep and makes it into a great horror and comedy movie. The horror is solid and the comedy is good enough to make me crack a few smiles. The acting is very good, which helps the overall movie not look like a joke. The effects and makeup add a sense of realism to a movie that really shouldn't have had any. It helps that the movie had a serious budget. If you're looking for a fun horror movie that is a little left of center, Black Sheep is a good choice.

7/10

Day 111: Wind Chill

Wind Chill

Even the poster is boring

I had started watching another horror movie, when about 5 minutes in, I realized that it was going to be so horrifically bad that I could not bring myself to finish it. Reviewing it would have been like criticizing a non-English speaker on their pronunciation of the word “susceptible”. So I decided to try something else. How about a movie produced by George Clooney? That could be good. Emphasis on could. Damn you, Clooney!

Wind Chill stars Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada, The Adjustment Bureau) as a college girl looking to make her way home for Christmas break. She's not given a name and is referred to as “Girl” in the credits, so I'll just refer to her as such. She cannot fly home and decides to check the ride board to see if she can tag along with someone driving to Delaware. As luck would have it, she finds that someone is driving there and sets up the ride. The driver is an awkward college boy (Ashton Holmes, A History Of Violence, The Pacific) who is labeled as “Guy” in the credits. The ride is very awkward as the girl is rude and bitchy while the guy is awkward and weird. The guy takes a short cut up a snow-covered rural road and the girl calls him out on not knowing where he is going. A car headed in the opposite direction hits them and they are left stranded on the side of the road. After some discussion, it is revealed that the guy is not from Delaware and is in fact using this time to get closer to the girl. He has been watching her for a long time and even knows the food she likes. As the night goes on, the being to see apparitions. A policeman comes to their window and, unaware of their predicament, tries to get the girl in the back of his car. The guy rescues her, but they are terrorized throughout the night by spirits of people who had died on the road by the hand of the policeman. Will the guy and the girl be able to survive the ghosts and the cold?

"Wait, Bob Marley is dead? But I just bought his cd!"

Wow these people are annoying. They are so incredibly unlikable that it was a chore to get through this movie. Why should I care what happens to the characters when I hate their guts. The girl is particularly nasty and the guy is a creepy stalker. There are plenty of warning signs and red lights telling her that this guy is weird, but despite eventually finding out that he is just a creepy stalker, so still goes along for the ride and stays with him. And why does she care if something bad happens to him? WHY?! I haven't cheered for a villain this hard since The Blair Witch Project. I want only bad things to happen to them and no one else while sitting through this movie. The audience will never have sympathy for the characters, thus negating making it a horror movie. They might as well have made it a revenge movie for the ghosts. At least that way I would have had something to cheer.

The movie's story is fairly rudderless, jumping from the present, to flashback, to sort of present within a flashback within the blah blah blah. What is the real story here? Is it two unlikable people being stuck in a car or is it a murdering policeman from the 50's? A majority of the movie is spent with just the two in the car, which is very boring. Why not introduce the ghost aspects sooner than 45 minutes into the movie? There aren't a lot of special effects used in the movie and when they are used, they're not too impressive. There is very little action and the only scares are jump-at-you-from-the-dark moments and musical flourishes. I feel like they were going for some sort of psychological, slow-build thriller and ended up with psychological torture of the audience. Emily Blunt and Ashton Holmes are both very annoying. The cast is very small and they are relied heavily to carry the movie, which is unfortunate. I suppose it is not entirely their fault because they are written to be complete assholes, but it's not enough to excuse poor performances.

"Are you two under the influence of shitty character development?"

Wind Chill was an incredibly annoying and boring movie that barely registered as horror. The characters are unlikable and the story is jumbled and confusing with no real purpose. There is no real action to speak of and any effects that are used look poor. The acting was not good and the directing not much better The movie was clearly made on a tight budget, which makes me wonder what exactly George Clooney produced, because it sure wasn't a lot of money. Overall, Wind Chill is not worth your time and I have to wonder if I would have been better off watching the previously mentioned first movie.

2/10

Day 110: Killer Klowns From Outer Space

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

Harlem Globetrotters ain't got nothing on us

I specifically remember being a little boy and seeing parts of Killer Klowns From Outer Space. It was usually after watching Saturday morning WWF wrestling and American Gladiators. For whatever reason, FOX showed KKFOS multiple times on Saturday afternoons. I also specifically remember being scared of the movie. I wasn't scared of clowns or anything like that, I guess I just was scared of giant monsters killing people. Looking back, it seems pretty silly to be afraid of such a silly movie, but I can still see why it would scare a little kid. Its also easy to see why it has become a cult classic.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space is a 1988 horror/comedy starring Grant Cramer (New Year's Evil, Hardbodies) as Mike Tobacco. A small town is invaded by aliens that look like demented, nightmarish clowns. Their clothes and faces all look like they belong on real clowns, but they are much larger and far more terrifying. Their spaceship looks just like a big top circus and lands in a farmer's field. He goes to investigate with his dog and they are both wrapped up in a cocoon that looks like pink cotton candy. Mike and his girlfriend also investigate the circus tent and discover that its really a spaceship and the clowns are aliens. They try to explain what happened to local police, but the crotchety old police chief doesn't believe them. The clowns terrorize people in town through various and hilarious means; popcorn guns, riding invisible motorcycles, shadow puppets, and balloon animals. They gather up the bodies in cotton candy cocoons. Mike and his friends decide to take the fight to the clowns. Armed with their ice cream truck and a young police officer, the group head into the spaceship. Will they be able to defeat the clowns and save the world?

Limp Bizkit: The Later Years

Everything about this movie is 80's. The concept is crazy, the execution is over the top, and the acting is silly. It even has it's own theme song by The Dickies. All that being said, it's a fun movie. It never takes itself too seriously, almost to a fault. The movie tends to focus more on how many ways the clowns can kill people. And man are there some fun kills throughout the movie. When you watch a movie called Killer Klowns From Outer Space, you know you're not going for a cerebral horror thriller. The story is coherent enough and gets the audience from point A to point B and that's all that's really needed.

The clowns are the true stars of the movie. They look great especially when you know that the budget for the movie was pretty small. Their faces are particularly twisted and horrific looking as if they came a twisted fever dream from a mental patient. The set design for their spaceship is pretty cheap, but they make do with what they have. The Chiodo Brothers, who wrote, produced, and directed the film have stated that they are planning a sequel for 2013. I'm not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, it would be fun to revisit the evil clowns, but on the other, it might cheapen a beloved cult classic. I suppose if they can make toys based on the movie, a sequel can't cheapen the legacy much more. 

Dr. Klown, DDS

I can safely say that I am no longer scared of Killer Klowns From Outer Space. If you suffer from Coulrophobia (fear of clowns), though, you'll probably be terrified. If you don't, you'll have a great time laughing along and at the movie. The clowns look fantastic, their outfits are fun, and the story is easy to follow. You know exactly what you're going to get with Killer Klowns From Outer Space and there's nothing wrong with that.

7.5/10

Day 109: Masters of Horror: Right To Die

Masters of Horror: Right To Die

Not a mummy movie

Creating stories “ripped from the headlines” seems like a pretty popular idea these days. CSI, Law and Order, and the million other crime and court shows love to do this. It gets people interested and, if we're being honest, it's easier than coming up with an original story. Creating a horror movie based off a real life events is a bit trickier, especially when the events are politically charged and divisive in nature. Could it at least be entertaining?

Masters of Horror: Right To Die stars Martin Donovan (Weeds, Saved!) as dentist Cliff Addison and Julia Benson as his wife Abby. On a deserted road, Cliff gets into a car accident and Abby is badly burned. In the hospital, Cliff is told that there is a procedure that will allow her to live, but she would not be able to take care of herself. He consults with his attorney, Ira, (Corbin Bernsen, Major League, L.A. Law) about her condition and is convinced to end her life. Cliff reveals that he had an affair with his dental assistant Trish and that Abby knew about it. Cliff hallucinates that he is having sex with Abby who then turns into her current burned form. Meanwhile, Abby briefly died in real life and Cliff appeared to have a strange burn mark on his skin. Abby's mother arrives at Cliff's house and tells him that she will not let him end Abby's life and that he will never get her money. While a public fight breaks out over the right to life and right to death, Cliff continues to have strange hallucinations involving Abby. Cliff eventually wins the decision to let Abby die within 48 hours. Ira goes to the hospital and thanks Abby for allowing him to win lots of money off her death. He walks into an MRI room and a mysterious force turns the machine on. The metal on his body starts to pull him apart when Abby's spirit appears and sets him on fire. Cliff puts out the fire and then publicly offers the money from the settlement to anyone who can provide skin for Abby's transplant. Will that be enough to save Abby and more importantly, save Cliff from Abby's spirit?

Snap into a Slim Jim

If it wasn't obvious, Right To Die relies heavily on the right to die case of Terri Schiavo. That heavily politicized incident still has ramifications today. If you type “Terri” into Google, her name is the first to come up. Does something so personal and political make for a fun horror movie? No, not really. It's one thing to have your horror movie “based on actual events” like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is very loosely based on Ed Gein, it's another to have your movie literally based on actual events. It's kind of like having a horror movie based on the Trayvon Martin killing. Too soon, too political, and it's something that we do not to continuously relive. As for the actual movie, the way the story is told is a bit stunted as we only find out more of the story at the very end, thus negating most of our conceptions of the previous 50 minutes.

Another problem is that they make Cliff too likable. He cheated on his wife, got her into an accident, and can't decide if he wants to take her off life support. All of this and they still manage to not make him come off as a terrible person. This is supposed to be some sort of supernatural revenge movie and the audience is conflicted with cheering for Abby and cheering for him. The acting is decent enough throughout, with Corbin Bernsen putting in his typical Corbin Bernsen performance. If you've seen Major League or really anything else he's done, you know what I'm talking about. There are some decent horror scenes, violence, and nudity, so you'll have plenty to look at. The makeup on Abby is pretty realistic and the team involved should be commended for making her look so gross and beef jerky-like.

"I should have stayed with the Cleveland Indians!"

Making a horror movie out of a sad and divisive news story makes me feel all types of uncomfortable. Add that to a pretty boring story and you're not in for a good time. There's some action and horror, but nothing spectacular. The acting and directing are fine and there's enough nudity and sex to make you think twice before seeing this with young people. Overall, Right To Die is not a must-watch.

4/10

Day 108: Return To Horror High

Return To Horror High

Well, at least her hair looks good

Whoa, a horror movie starring George Clooney? This has to be good! Stupid DVD cover lying to me again. That, a picture of a skeleton in a cheerleader's outfit and a cheap price are what possessed me to buy this relatively unknown sequel to a relatively unknown 80's slasher. I feel like horror, more than any other genre, relies on cool poster and cover art to reel people in to waste their money. Just check our local $5 bin, look at the covers and without reading the back, tell me which movies you'd want. Well, at least this is a slasher. It can't get too complicated, right? RIGHT?!

A few years after the horrible serial killer murders at Crippen High School, a movie crew has come to town to film the story. Sleazy director Harry Sleerik (Alex Rocco, That Thing You Do, Get Shorty) sets up to film in the actual high school where the murders occurred, much to the concern of some of the actors. Oliver (George Clooney) stars as the leading man when he receives a call for a role in a different movie. As he is leaving the set, we hear the squeaking sound of a custodian bucket. Oliver looks into a room and is brutally murdered. Is the killer back or is it a copycat? Is it one of the actors or the creepy janitor? What is real and what is the movie being made? 

Head of the class

Return to Horror High cuts in and out of flashback scenes, scenes from the movie being filmed, and scenes happening outside of the movie being filmed, if that makes sense. It is really, really confusing and I guess that's the point. You're not supposed to know what is real, what is happening in the movie being filmed, and what already happened. That being said, it doesn't really make for a pleasurable viewing experience. Every time something interesting or a murder happens, the movie shifts gears and pulls a swerve on the audience. It's one thing to be creative, its another to just be lazy and not really have anything happen. I haven't seen the original Horror High, so I can't say if this is true to the material.

The movie is classified as horror/comedy and it does have a few moments of humor, but not enough to call it a comedy. There is a good amount of violence and blood, certainly enough to keep you entertained. The acting has it's ups and downs, nothing particularly great or horrible. It's fun to see George Clooney before he hit it big and his mullet is quite impressive. The ending will probably annoy most viewers who spent the time to get through the entire movie only to be let down. I won't spoil anything, but think “April Fool's Day.”

Sexiest Mullet Alive

What should have been a simple slasher became a sometimes confusing and sometimes clever mindfuck. You never know what is actually happening and what is a filmed scene for the movie-within- a-movie. There are some good killing scenes, but once again, you don't know what is “really” happening. Ultimately, Return To Horror High is a mediocre slasher that became far more confusing and convoluted than it needed to be

4/10

Day 107: The Host

The Host

With the most

We're going international for this day's edition of 365 Days of Horror. South Korea to be exact. Why Japan has hogged the spotlight for Asian horror, South Korea really raised the bar with this monster movie. A mixture of science fiction, horror, slapstick, and heart-felt emotion make The Host a film to be reckoned with.

The Host (also known as Gwoemul) tells the story of a dysfunctional Korean family. An American army scientist tells his Korean assistant to pour formaldehyde and other chemicals down the drain. The assistant warns him that the drain leads to the Han River, but the scientist doesn't care. Cut to a few years later and a giant mutated fish/tadpole creature now lives in the river. Park Gang-du works in a snack bar along the river with his father, Hee-bong. Gang-du has a young daughter named Hyun-seo, an alcoholic unemployed brother named Nam-il and medalist archer sister Nam-joo. Gang-do is a bit slow and sleeps a lot, but he loves his father and daughter. The creature emerges from the water, terrorizing and eating unsuspecting visitors. Gang-du and an American soldier fight the creature, but cannot stop it. Hyun-seo is grabbed by the creature and believed to have died. The family comes together at a memorial to mourn her death and are taken by the government for testing. They are believed to be infected with a virus from the creature and are isolated. Gang-du receives a late night cell phone call from Hyun-seo saying she is stuck in a large sewer somewhere. Gang-do tries to tell the police, but they do not believe him. The family escapes the treatment facility and begins to search the sewers from Hyun-seo. In their search, they encounter the beast and Hee-bong is killed while Gang-do is captured by police. Nam-il contacts a friend who is able to trace Hyun-seo's cell phone, but is pursued by people who want to turn him in for a reward. Gang-do is taken to another treatment facility where he overhears that that is no virus and both the American and Korean governments are perpetuating the myth. Gang-do receives a frontal lobotomy, but is able to escape afterwards. Will Gang-du, Nam-il and Nam-joo be able to say Hyun-seo and stop the monster?

I'd be running in the opposite direction

I truly believe that for a horror movie to be great, it needs to have social commentary and The Host has plenty of it. The movie hits on environmentalism, government distrust, conspiracies, chemical warfare, and government ineptitude. For example, the Korean government uses a chemical named “Agent Yellow” (a thinly-veiled reference to Agent Orange used in the Vietnam War). This is similar to the Japanese monster movies, such as Godzilla, Mothra, and Rodan. Like a good Romero movie, The Host gets the audience to question who the real villain is in the movie. The good thing about The Host is that it also includes humor and slapstick to keep the movie from plunging into political theater. There is always a concern that movies from another country will not translate well, especially for an American audience. While there are some cultural nuances and differences, you never feel lost or out of place while watching The Host.

The monster looks absolutely fantastic thanks to a few different teams involved with it's creation. It was designed by Chin Wei-chan, modeled by Weta Workshops, animatronics created by John Cox's Workshop, and the CGI was done by The Orphanage. Despite having a lot of horror chefs in the monster kitchen, the creature is both original and scary looking. Unlike many other monster films, the creature is seen very early in the film and has multiple scenes in broad daylight. The acting is very good throughout the film, with Song Kang-ho putting on a good performance as Gang-du. He is able to capture the both the humor and tragedy of his character very well. The supporting family cast also does a fine job of mixing drama and some comedy. The movie clocks in at close to 2 hours, so your are required to commit some time to watching it, but it never drags.

"Oh jeez, he's behind me, isn't he? Well, this is embarrassing!"

For my first Korean horror movie, I am so glad I chose to watch The Host. It is entertaining, exciting, scary, and funny. The political commentary is solid without ever being overly preachy or ham-fisted. The monster looks great, and despite having a limited budget, never looks particularly fake. Director Bong Joon-ho does a great job along with his actors in making a wide-ranging horror movie. Defintely see The Host if you get the chance. You won't regret it.

9.5/10